• Which (somewhat deluded) renowned restaurant group that recently found itself the target of a class-action wage-dispute lawsuit, is soon to come under fire again? This time the charge is sexual harassment, the details of which are forthcoming shortly. Unfortunately, it could be right around the time the alleged defendant is vacationing with his wife. (Quick, hide the newspapers.)
Well, you know what they say: Misery loves company. Now all they have to do is follow the leader.
• Which TriBeCa saloonkeeper’s recent brush with the law is hampering his liquor license application? Anyone know a good (fast) consulting "chef"?
"Restaurant" Needs Recipe for Crudité, Jell-O. Please Contact ASAP.
• Which West Village commercial landlord is spinning his wheels waiting for the rent check to arrive in the mail? Sorry, buddy— but the restaurant space your tenant recently "closed for renovations" isn’t reopening anytime soon, duh. Your former tenant has already spent all your rent money on his next venture elsewhere.
Greatest Hits: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"PX This Mercer Lobby Screaming"
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2005. 11:38AM
omygawd i got thrown out of theMercerHotel yesterday!
aha hah hahaa aah
oh okay that’s not ENTIRELY true. actually i left quietly of my own accord— because i am more than sufficiently aware lois-freedman (director of operations for jean-georges restaurants) doesn’t even HAVE the fucking authority to kick me out of theMercerHotel.
yah so anyways it was a real scene oh you should have been there— the best part was when lois-freedman started screaming at marc-bagutta at the top of her lungs "GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND OOOUT OF HEEERE! I’LL CALL THE COPPPS! IF JEAN-GEORGES WAS HERE, HE WOULD THROW HER OUTTT PERSSSONALLY!" i swear i thought her head was going to start spinning all around like that demonically possessed chick in that spooky exorcist movie.
and there were lots of other peoples (like dean-winters for example) sitting in the hotel lobby too trying to quietly enjoy their wine and tea and whatnot so they got some free entertainment. oh! i am sooo BUMMED i didn’t have any pxthis business cards on me to pass around like "thank yooou, we’ll be here all week."
by the way if you’re wondering why in the world lois-freedman would suddenly just bust out with her bestest impersonation of large-marge the lady truckdriver in Peewee Herman’s Big Adventure— alls i can say is: hmm. beats me!
so then anyways today we called ABhotels corporate office trying to understand why we are supposedly "NOT WELCOME EVVVERRR!"
they were very surprised to hear the news and so sweet saying this is not the case at all since we are such good and frequent patrons of theRaleigh in miami (and plus cuz we’re so faboolous) we are welcome "ANYTIME… ANYWHERE…" they even offered to send me a written apology.
yay!
[they also said something along the lines of "lois who..?" but oh never mind.]
anyhoo. oh yah so that same day after we’d left MercerHotel my pal "bunny"kim (who also used to work for jean-georges) and i went over to CiprianiDowntown to have some bellinis, because the poor thing needed a drink since she was so suddenly and unexpectedly subjected to lois-freedman’s freaky ballistic apeshit episode—
and hee eheee it was great, when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.
then afterward since we were in the area, we decided to pop into Kittichai around the corner.
and it was great, it just so happens dwayne-collins who also used to work with us for jean-georges is now the general manager of Kittichai. so when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.
and right then chef cedric-tovar happened to walk in, and it was great, when we recounted to him what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, he was so amused and felt so sorry for us he invited us over to Django (so he could comp our drinks and send an entire meal from the kitchen too).
geezus if we had kept going, we probably could have eaten for free all week long all over downtown NYC! ha ahaah
… but we were totally stuffed and couldn’t handle any more food so instead we decided to head over to Butter to check out the new monday night party thingie by richie-akiva & scott-sartiano & ronnie-madra.
it was really bunny-kim who wanted to go, so i was kinda totally prepared to despise every last minute of the experience. but actually, it wasn’t bad!
and i saw liev-schreiber & drea-dematteo & andre-harrell & sean-lennon & vincent-gallo & (of course) the olsen-twins. and that was just in the mere 40 minutes we stayed, a whole mess of other faboolous peoples were pouring in just as we were trying to get the fuck out. maybe i’m just too old fer that shit…
pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on February 22, 2005, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
MY rant.
Hey, did you see this? It’s Steve Cuozzo "ranting" about how no "good restaurants" opened in 2010. And then Keith McNally "ranted" in retaliatio… zzzzZZZzzzzzzzZZZzzz…
Huh, wha–? Sorry, I dozed off for a second there. Oh yeah, I was just about to rant my rant in retaliation to those two ranty rants. Why, you ask? Good question— seeing as DUH– nobody gives a fucking rat’s ass about anybody’s stupid, self-important, self-indulgent, sophmoric, idiotic fucking rant.
But hey, I’m just gonna throw my two cents out there, ‘cuozz— well, why not? It’s the internet age! That’s just how we roll. CLEARLY, any two-bit douchebag dipshit with a keyboard and a free Starbucks WiFi connection can pontificate superfluously about whatever the hell they please. And today, FINALLY, is my turn. Hooray!
Firstly, to Steve Cuozzo. Shut the hell up, you clueless, ignorant, obnoxious, pompous, obsequious, slimy TOOL SHED. Oh my Lord, reading your articles (on those very very very rare occasions which I do) makes me want to put a gun to my head, realizing that you actually still have a job as a journalist, because there genuinely remains a substantial contingent of morons out there who buy into your dim-witted drivel.
Not that I give a damn about a single thing or person you mentioned, but did you seriously just criticize certain chefs and restaurateurs for being in too many places at once, while extolling the virtues of not one, but two Jean-Georges restaurants that he opened within weeks of each other while simultaneously overseeing multiple outlets all over the world? Do you not see how hypocritical and downright laughable you sound?
Also, as a looongtime laborer within the NYC Food & Beverage industry, I can inform you (yeah, that’s right— you’re so ignorant you probably have yet to apprehend this) the fine dining industry in NYC for the most part, HATES NY POST-READING DINERS. Ask anybody. A bad review from the NY Post is like a gift from heaven; if it keeps out the arrogant, unsophisticated, self-entitled jerkoffs who read the NY Post, then Hallelujah! That’s half the bane of running a restaurant in NYC extinguished right there.
Pssst, Cuozzo. Oh, if you could only be "on the inside," as I am, and could hear the things that are said about you and your ilk, by the very same people who run to shake your hand upon your arrival. You’d probably be so traumatized, you’d need lithium for life. Do yourself a favor and "retire" to go write your great American novel already, could you? You make us sick, you freak.
Next, to Keith McNally. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Really? Don’t you have anything better to fucking do? Shouldn’t you be out scavenging distressed mirrors and wall tiles for the inevitable Chinese next-incarnation of your "genius-brilliance" or something? As a person who once used to work for you (Yeah, that’s right. Boo!) I can assure you that Frank Bruni got at least ONE thing right in his entire ill-conceived food-writing career, and that’s: You are not a nice man.
Your greatest skill is comprised wholly of your astoundingly systematic ass-kissing of those you deem worthy. Your second greatest skill is merely the fact that you’re only about half as maniacal as your loopy, rampageous brother. And the notion that you think these asinine indignant blusterings of yours are actually beneficial to your business as a whole is mind-blowing. Newsflash, idiot: The reason Pulino’s sucks such a fat dick is because you brought that cheezy icky clientele of yours to yourself.
Ha ha hah— go on now, Keith, run along and pen some other retaliatory unctuous rant e-mail that panders to those pizza-loving clowns. Just remember before you waste your energy— it’s still not going to bring Anna and Sir Anthony Hopkins looking for a banquette in that shithole.
Yours Truly and Sincerely,
*Dick Johnson*
Uh oh:
"A former cook at celeb chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s JoJo Restaurant said she had to endure heaping helpings of sexual harassment… Arlene Keith says she went to work as a meat cook… and was subjected to vile, sexually explicit remarks and advances by another cook… When the alleged victim complained to her boss, he began being abusive to her as well, the lawsuit says…
Vongerichten, named as a defendant but not accused of any harassment, called the suit ‘frivolous.’" [The NY Post]
Hmm.
Well, the last time the Jean Georges organization faced a "frivolous" (or whatever) lawsuit, it cost them $1.75M. (We’re just sayin’.)
I mean, sure, $1.75M may seem like a lot of money to you, but that’s just like spare change or ‘tip money’ to them. Thanks for all your concern sending this news to us and everything, but fret not— apparently, they can afford it!
P.S. Oh yeah, see the "UPDATE" in the title up there? Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
**See also (earlier):
• Jean Georges Enterprises – Shit, meet Fan. Fan, meet Shit. [Part 1 and Part 2]
For more on this story, read PX This – The Revised Edition [and PX This Too (Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010)]
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
Jean Georges Enterprises: Shit, meet Fan. Fan, Meet Shit [Part 2]:
Started: July 27, 2007. 11:50AM by *MoneyMan* • Closed: August 5, 2010 11:17AM • Archived at 40,980 Views
… CONTINUED from Jean Georges Enterprises: Shit, meet Fan. Fan, meet Shit. [Part 1]
PRIMARY SUBJECT : Jean-Georges Enterprises LLC
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Director of Operations Lois Freedman, Attorney Caroline Richmond, Starwood Capital, W Hotels, Spice Market
GIST OF TOPIC : "Famed N.Y. Chef Sued for Skimpy Wages…" etc.
SIGNIFICANCE: When we last visited this topic, New York magazine was pulling the figurative foot out its mouth and Jean-Georges Enterprises was pulling the figurative foot out its ass.
The discussion continues to speculate on subsequent events, most notably the irrationality of Jean-Georges Enterprsises official release of some kind of half-assed statement admitting to "no wrongdoing."
Ha ha ahaa OK, did you catch that? The company was sued three times for essentially the same offense against the laws set forth by Department of Labor, but they, despite settling the suits in a cumulative amount totalling somewhere in the millions of dollars, "admit to no wrongdoing."
Oh, but it starts to get really good when evidently, some attorney named Caroline Richmond implies the workers of the industry from whom their wages were stolen should drop their lawsuits attempting to get their rightfully earned money back, because this really awful economy will force all those poor poor multimillion dollar restaurants to close down, and then all these workers will lose their jobs anyway. Behold!:
"All these people that have stolen from the employees all live in multi-million dollar homes, and now they want to bitch about how getting sued over money that they had no right to take in the first place is going to hurt their businesses? Boo hoo hoo.
These assholes never gave a shit that FOH’ers were living in tiny shoeboxes with roommates all this time. I’m pretty sure that in these ‘uncertain economic times’ that these people need the $3300 more than you do, you greedy fucking bitch….
Not to mention the fact that if it had been in reverse, and an FOH’er had been caught stealing money from the house, that person would have been fired on the spot. But her argument is that the FOH should shut up and stop upholding the laws, because they’ll lose their jobs…
The workers are suing to get money that they earned, back. The owners never had a right to that money in the first place. So if anyone should be giving up anything in these ‘uncertain economic times,’ it’s the lawyers that should be giving up their fees, if they’re so worried about these businesses failing."
Told ya! We "strange, strange world"— we so smart. We even make lawyers look like jackasses!
Especially when the discussion thread progresses over several months to eventually reveal how all these poor poor restaurants that can barely afford to stay in business after giving all the money they don’t admit to stealing back to the workers— are opening new multiple ventures. All over the world.
With earnings estimated at somewhere near the "$100M" mark. <— By the way, you’ll recall we only know that amount because it comes to us via this gem: "While JG marches his way to $100M, you’ll still be standing there holding your tired basket of gripes and getting old."
Ooooh, so right. Look, here we are! Just holding our basket.
RATING: ★★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
** See also :
• Jean Georges Enterprises… [UPDATE] <--- Verrry interesting discussion going on in the comments section here!
• Jean Georges Enterprises: Shit, meet Fan. Fan, meet Shit. [Part 1]
• GrubStreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant (& Stupid)
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
Jean Georges Enterprises: Shit, meet Fan. Fan, Meet Shit [Part I]:
Started: July 27, 2007. 11:50AM by *MoneyMan* • Closed: August 5, 2010 11:17AM • Archived at 40,980 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : Jean-Georges Enterprises LLC
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Director of Operations Lois Freedman, Jay McInerney, Herve Descottes, Starwood Capital, Catterton Partners, W Hotels, Spice Market
GIST OF TOPIC : "Famed N.Y. Chef Sued for Skimpy Wages…"
SIGNIFICANCE: In 2004 Abbe Diaz publishes (the original) PX This, chronicling four years of her employment in the NYC Food & Beverage Industry. Not long afterward, Jay McInerney pens a "sycophantic five-page article" in New York magazine rhapsodizing about Jean-Georges Vongerichten and refuting several key issues raised in PX This, without ever actually mentioning PX This. Hysterical. (No, really— the apparent attempt at "damage control" is so camp, if you read PX This and then read the article, you’ll totally LOL! and squirt like coffee out your nose or whatever.)
Soon after, the NY Post reports: "Restaurateur Jean-Georges Vongerichten is so annoyed by the success of his former Maitre D’ Abbe Diaz’s new tell-all book, he is forcing his employees to sign confidentiality agreements. They were also banned from discussing [the book] at work." Huh! Weird, right? Kinda makes you wonder what’s in that thing, doesn’t it?
Fast forward a little while later, and Abbe Diaz just happens to get thrown out of Jean Georges restaurant. Riveting!
Then another "sycophantic" item suddenly appears in New York magazine, comparing Abbe Diaz’s writing to "text messages tapped out by the jittery, manicured thumbnails of an ex-model at Rose Bar at 4 a.m." whatever the hell that means. Also, there’s something about the workers of the NYC Fine Dining Food & Beverage Industry being a "strange, strange world." Imagine that.
Hilariously, subsequently New York magazine is then compelled to report that Jean-Georges Vongerichten and his restaurant group have agreed to settle a class-action lawsuit filed by employees of eight of his eateries for the misappropriation of tip wages earned by staff— to the tune of $1.75 million.
In any case, all of that is discussed herein— by a bunch of people who seemingly used to work for Jean-Georges, duh. Oh, plus there’s some really fascinating big money corporate Gordon Gekko kind of talk, if you’re into that sort of thing. Ooooh, we "strange strange world." We so smart.
The discussion gets so long and elaborate, we had to split it into two parts. Part 2 forthcoming…
RATING: ★★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
** See also :
• Jean Georges Enterprises… [UPDATE] <--- Verrry interesting discussion going on in the comments section here!
• GrubStreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant (& Stupid)
• Jean Georges Enterprises: Shit, meet Fan. Fan, meet Shit [Part2]
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
There seems to be a bit of controversy lately over our recent recommendation of La Esquina as the place at "the top of [the] list" to dine as a "hip and savvy local," should one happen to have a single night’s visit to NYC. It seems that the latest "changes" at La Esquina may not exactly be for the best (despite The NY Post’s rumination / elaboration-of-our-story over the speculative liability of "former" partner Serge Becker’s “incorrectly reported” involvement).
Whew! That was a mouthful!
In any case, while we ponder the significance of the ongoing developments at La Esquina and the prospect of updating our suggestions, might I suggest you watch Antoine Fuqua’s Brooklyn’s Finest. Sure, the plot may be a little tedious and slightly convoluted, but who wouldn’t want to behold La Esquina in all its fictional fabulosity? (Also, Wass Stevens is in it.)
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
• Which "scoop" are we dying to disclose, but our Head Editor won’t let us (lest it alter the course of destiny)? Well, we’ll just sit back and wait for the story to play itself out. If history is any indication, it should be soon— and quite entertaining.
• Which law-breaking restaurateur is currently talking out of his ass? In a very thinly-veiled attempt at saving face (and business), he’s underplaying the severity of his organization’s latest situation. The simple, basic (and legal) truth is: they have far, far, far less options than they publicly assert. Despite ample precedents (and the law), some people never learn. But they soon will! The hard way.
• Which well-known restaurateur was so burned by a past endeavor, he’s currently "slave-driving" his newest chef? In spite of the chef’s resentment, however, relations remain ostensibly congenial. The chef isn’t willing to lose face any more than the restaurateur; job offers are slim out there. Just ask the predecessor.
Question from the inbox: "Would you classify this as an "F&F"?
Answer: Sometimes!
No OK, seriously though— that may not be an "F&F," but it sure is an LOL!
We present it here "entirely for purposes of education": Remember, if you’re a hungry, belligerent, idiotic dumbass, keep on walking and get your burrito someplace else, lest you get smacked upside your stupid head with an aluminum folding chair.
[Blockheads. Oh, the irony.]
The Devil Eats Jerk Pork. NOT.
The latest captivating chatter in and amongst the industry has Anna Wintour rumored to have already slapped Serge Becker’s latest not-yet-open downtown "café" with a preliminary smackdown. As you may recall, one of Becker’s other establishments, La Esquina, was recently unjustly obstructed from doing business for three days, and some speculation seems to place an irate neighbor at the core of that unwarranted temporary shutdown. Unfortunately for said neighbor, La Esquina was quickly found to be "in compliance with New York City building codes," and the Department of Buildings is said to have "scrambled" to rescind their erroneous judgement after an attorney and judges from as far away as Washington DC were consulted (presumably to help expedite the matter faster and more efficiently than New York’s frustratingly backlogged bureaucracy) on the arguably distorted assessment of celebrity-haven La Esquina’s "imminent… peril… to life."
Well!
Here we go again? The recent salacious out-and-about tittle-tattle has Anna Wintour allegedly warning Serge Becker to refrain from throwing "parties" at his new currently-under-construction exotic eatery, located (perilously?) close to Ms. Wintour’s abode.
LOL! Silly Anna. Every night’s… ♪♪ a holiday at Huuurleeey’s! ♪♪ [Quick: name that movie.]
In any case, Serge Becker & Co. might best hope a set of new $10,000.00 soundproof windows can propitiate Ms. Wintour. But frankly, we can’t help but suggest they get down on their knees and pray she doesn’t decide to implement a strategy that could conceivably be classified a "C*ntyNasty," whereby she would perhaps exert her powerful influence to contribute to the restaurant’s undoing, only to open her very own ‘hotspot’ hash house located conveniently close to her residence.
Does Anna Wintour have 311 on speed dial? Would downtown NYC be better served by a more subdued bistro, with a menu based entirely on supermodel-satiating lettuce leaves and water, than a "café" offering up callaloo and whatnot? Stay tuned!
Ahh, so starts the wintour of our discontent…
*************************************************************
For more details on Graydon Carter and the strategic implementation of “the C*ntyNasty” read PX This – The Revised Edition and PX This Too, The Sequel to PX This (Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010)
** See our latest UPDATE on Serge Becker’s newest enterprise **
You better worrrk.
Renowned chef Philippe Chow demonstrates his technique for the world-famous chicken satay— for a ’standing room only’ crowd at Macy’s Herald Square, Thursday, April 1st.
Mmmmm, sataaay…
Aaaand, now we have to kill you.
* with special thanks to Stratis Morfogen
"i can’t believe that bitch gets more press than i, by maybe-being-me" —abbe diaz, 8/24/07
Well! Hey, Abbe— you wish, Miss Thing! Looks like Ms. Butler has some lessons for you in the art of Media Hype & Hoopla Hustling.
"…the notorious Gwen Butler, after an incident that occurred after service Wednesday night. ‘She assaulted me,’ Skeen tells us. We’ve heard the chef was punched in the face…"
Wow! That’s hott. No wait— that’s better than hott. Hell, that’s gansta.
Anywho, just wanted to say, "Hi, Snax!" Lookin’ good, mami. Mrreeoowwr!
Thanks for making the food blogs fun again! We haven’t read anything this LOL inducing since… well… this.
Luv ya!
Your adoring fans at PX This.
**See also (earlier):
• SYMPATHY 4 THE RESTAURANT INDUSTRY
• Chef Roman à Clef: "I’m not Abbe"
• Is our mystery roman à clef writer Boston’s $2.45 Million Dollar Bartender?
• "I’ll punch somebody if it gets me in Page Six. Just kidding…"
• "Think of it – you would be so badass…"
** For more on this story, read PX This, Too – Coming in the Summer of 2010 **
Mr.Chow vs Philippe (Miami Beach)
By now, you’ve probably heard a whole lot of hullabaloo about the never-ending epic battle between restaurant empires Mr. Chow and Philippe. And, if you’re an avid foodie web surfer, you may even have heard a lot of gripes about "mediocre food" and/or "hype" and/or "aggrandizement" etc., etc., etc.
Well, here at PX This we don’t speak of such things when it comes to enterprises such as Mr. Chow or Philippe, because — well, herein, amongst your extremely insightful and sagacious peers, that kind of talk would simply be trite and platitudinous. Come on, let’s get real— we all know The Rules about dining at Mr. Chow and/or Philippe, don’t we? And what happens, Johnny, if we don’t know The Rules? Plainly and simply: you don’t get to play and enjoy the game. Or, in other words: if you don’t "get" these restaurants, do yourself a favor, and JUST DON’T GO THERE.
That being said, why don’t we oh so percipiently, as is our wont here at PX This, elaborate on those "rules" for some of the kids trying to play along at home, shall we?
1- If you don’t realize that you have to pay for that champagne being so graciously offered to you upon your arrival, you’re a dumbass.
2- If you think that a glass of either a Dom Perignon, Krug, or Vueve Cliquot is priced less than $25 at a place like Mr. Chow or Philippe, you’re a pedestrian dumbass.
3- If you don’t believe the essential quality of the ingredients both Mr. Chow and Philiipe utilize consistently in their cuisine are actually quite top-notch, you’re an ignorant, pedestrian dumbass.
4- If you are at all concerned about the total pricetag for your meal, these establishments are not for you. Yes, there’s cheaper food in Chinatown. We know. Save the time and energy you’d normally spend whining on Yelp about the impending charge on your green American Express card, and just haul your ass to one of those places instead, why don’t you?
5- Mr. Chow is "cooler" than Philippe, but Philippe undoubtedly trumps Mr. Chow in the take-out department— Philippe Chow Express is an astute and exemplary endeavor.
OK, so, having pontificated on all this, let’s ask a knowledgeable recent visitor to Miami Beach who enthusiastically tried both Mr. Chow and Philippe, a mere one evening apart:
"Hello, luv! So… who’s the Winner on this beachfront bad boy?"
"Without hesitation, on every facet, Mr. Chow undeniably wins hands down."
Well, there you have it. (Hmm. Coincidence… or Karma? You decide.)
Chef Anne Burrell et al Sued for Discrimination…
PX This has recently obtained the official Supreme Court docket (Index No. 108471-2008 Filed: March 23, 2009) for Susan Kendall Bradford, Jennifer Sue Lim, and Sarra Hennigan VS Anne Burrell, Centro Vinoteca, Sasha Muniak, and George Elkins alleging that the plaintiffs were subject to "discrimination" and "retaliation" in violation of the Human Rights Law. Among the plaintiffs complaints are the accusations that (former Centro Vinoteca chef) Anne Burell subjected the plaintiffs to persistent ridicule and disparagement, at times calling the plaintiffs (all formerly employed by Centro Vinoteca) such derogatory terms as "slutty," "saggy," "ho," "whore," and "stupid dumb whore… idiot." The plaintiffs also assert Burell persistently addressed them mockingly, commenting on their "cleavage," and "harassing" them with such offensive remarks as, "have you fucked that [co-worker] yet?" The plaintiffs further allege they were wrongfully terminated in "retaliation" for their "complaints" about Burrell.
The lawsuit charges that Elkins and Muniak were aware of these circumstances but failed to address the situation in a manner consistent with the NY State Human Rights Law.
According to the docket, the defendants Elkins and Muniak sought to dismiss these claims "as asserted by all plaintiffs, and as asserted by Hennigan against Burrell, …the Complaint is devoid of any allegation against either Muniak or Elkins or of any actionable comments made by Burrell."
"Additionally, plaintiffs have failed to adequately allege that they suffered adverse employment actions by Muniak and Elkins. As to the remaining allegations which do not involve Burrell, such allegations do not identify (1) who allegedly told Bradford to dress nicely for New Years’ Eve, (2) the manager who allegedly told Lim and Bradford to work during brunch, (3) who allegedly replaced Lim after she left for a few days when her mother passed away, (4) who fired Bradford and gave Bradford’s shifts to the new bartender, (5) who allegedly fired Lim, told her she was being suspended, or which manager never returned her calls, or (6) who allegedly terminated each of them Bradford or Lim, or constructively terminated Hennigan. And,to the extent my of the above-allegations constitute adverse employment actjons, plaintiffs have failed to allege individual liability against Muniak or Elkins under New York law. Their names a re absent from all such allegations, and plaintiffs do not specifically allege that Muniak or Elkins were personally involved in any of said conduct. In addition, those allegations made ‘collectively’ against defendants are similarly insufficient. Thus, plaintiffs failed to state causes of action against Muniak and Elkins."
The Supreme Court, however, disagreed and found, "the Complaint sufficiently alleges Muniak’s, Elkin’s and Burrell’s alleged managerial roles at Centro, their ability to hire and fire plaintiffs, their failures to sufficiently investigate the complaints made against Burrell, and the ultimate termination of Lim and Bradford, and constructive termination of Hennigan." Furthermore, "…plaintiffs’ complaint sufficiently alleges that defendants terminated or constructively terminated the plaintiffs after defendants received complaints concerning Burrell’s alleged discriminatory conduct."
As it currently stands, "dismissal… is denied." The case is presently ongoing.
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For more information on Anne Burrell, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
Dick Johnson: Knock knock.
abbe diaz: just get on with it.
DJ: LOL. Sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood… OK, so you saw the Crain’s article?
ad: yah
DJ: What, no rampage in the Crain’s comments section from "Crazypants"? Your fan club must be so disappointed.
ad: what is there to "rampage" about? did you read the article? i thought it was good. it’s nice to see a bit of true, impartial news for a change. there’s nothing for me to refute.
DJ: Eater dotcom commenters are calling for your rebuttal. Or at least, one comment says it’s "surprised" you haven’t denied it on PX This.
ad: yah, i saw it. whatever. i only deny what ISN’T TRUE, duh.
DJ: So, you’re not going to comment? Enquiring minds want to know…
ad: want to know what? nobody asked me any questions.
DJ: OK, fine. I’m asking you.
ad: and i really appreciate that, thanks. but i still don’t see a question.
DJ: What’s going on with Mangia 57th and Centro Vinoteca’s filing for Chapter 11?
ad: is that what i’m supposed to comment on? i’m not their publicist you know. and i have neither the inclination nor the authority to discuss their business with anyone.
are you asking me my personal opinion? because that’s a different story.
DJ: But, by your own admission, you do consult with them occasionally. Word on the internet is you get "highly paid" to do so, right?
ad: Mangia and Centro, obviously, as a company, have plenty of attorneys and advisors. my advice wasn’t sought on this matter, but if it had been, i would have said i wholeheartedly agree with their latest course of action. hypothetically speaking.
DJ: Yes! Let’s play "Hypothetically Speaking"! This should be fun.
ad: loads.
DJ: Hypothetically Speaking: Restaurant Enterprise-101
ad: probably more like RestaurantEnterprise:410, but whatever.
DJ: Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on a company like Mangia57th filing Chapter 11?
ad: ooh. really? what a nice question! hmm, well let’s see—
first of all, let’s assume it’s a company juuust like Mangia57. well, according to the Crain’s article, it would "[owe] creditors less than $10 million."
okay, well let’s say— if i were simply an objective observer and not just some dumb idiot creepface looking to gleefully tapdance on somebody’s grave, i would say that seems like an awful little amount to file over. under $10M total? (i actually very much like how the Crain’s article almost seems to be scratching its head over this one, as well.)
i mean, i would think this would be relatively easy to confirm, but i would assume a company like Mangia takes in about $1M per WEEK.
also— a debt of $335,000 to the landlord and (a disputable) $260,000 to the state? that’s less than $600,000.
i mean… for example, i know of another company juuust like Mangia, and last year their BANK FEES ALONE were about $600,000.
which! brings me to another point.
hey did you see how some of the banks have been rahrah’ing lately because they’re apparently about to pay back billions of dollars in bailout money collected from unsuspecting taxpayers? isn’t it amazing how they were able to raise all that profit so quickly?
oh wait— maybe not so amazing? cuz peoples all over the country are complaining about how their fees have skyrocketed and how the banks do creepy things like intentionally approve all your debit purchases and withdraw monthly fees at random intervals so that when you happen to spend over your available balance because you had no cash on you but you bought a pack of gum at the deli, now suddenly that gum costs you $35 in overdraft fees?
and dumbass that you are, you also went to Kinko’s for your boss and charged another $3.00 on your debit card for copies (expecting to be reimbursed), but now the transaction for those copies have just cost you ANOTHER $35 overdraft fee? so now you just spent $70 on $3 worth of copies and a pack of gum?
now— if last year those banks made that kind of money off the average broke-assed citizen, what exactly do you think is happening to big companies like Mangia?
i mean, imagine instead of say your monthly $15 checking fee they automatically debited (which you thought you still had in your account and that’s why you bought the pack of gum at the deli and charged the copies at Kinko’s in the first place)— that monthly fee was ohhh like $40,000.00?
do you see how that could occasionally be kinda problematic?
now let’s say you went to the bank and you waited on line and you finally got to sit and talk to one of those peoples in the little desk cubicle thingies—
and you said, "hey banker dude. i’ve been your banking customer for dozens of years now and we’ve never had a problem like this before. why do i owe you $70 for a pack of gum and $3 worth of copies from Kinko’s? if you hadn’t taken out that $15 monthly fee… what’s that? it’s $25 now? that’s outrageous!… well you didn’t tell me the price went up and that it would be withdrawn so randomly… how do you expect me to pay an additional $80 in fees for a pack of gum and Kinko’s copies?"
and the bank dude replied, "yesssss, thank you so much for your patronage over the years. suck it. we have bailout funds to pay back cuz president-obama won’t let us get our multimillion dollar bonuses."
hmm.
i don’t know bout you, but if i had another option (and lots of attorneys and advisors!), i’d be damned if i’m paying that $80. i’m just sayin.
that was fun! next question?
DJ: LOL. I’m glad you asked, because I do have another question. What about Centro Vinoteca filing Chapter 11? Oh sorry, I mean HYPOTHETICALLY, what about a company LIKE Centro Vinoteca filing Chapter 11?
ad: wow. another great question!
well, HYPOTHETICALLY, let me ask you this. how does one prove, exactly, you know something?
DJ: Beg pardon? You’re not making sense.
ad: yah exactly, thank you.
okay
how about— let’s just say… i lost… an umbrella, for example. and then i said to you, "hey dick-johnson. where’s my umbrella?"
and you reply, "i don’t know." and i say, "yes you do." and you say, "no, i don’t." and i rebut, "but i told you where i left it." and you retort, "no you didn’t, are you smoking crack or something?" and i respond, "yes i told you where it was." and you insist, "no, you did not." and i dispute, "yes i did. well, at least, i told willie-wang where i put the umbrella and i’m sure he told you." and you assert, "willie-wang didn’t tell me shit. i don’t know where your stupid umbrella is."
and so i tell you, "well, i’m sure i told willie-wang to tell you where the umbrella is and now i can’t find it, so now you have to buy me a new umbrella."
and you answer, "what? i never knew where your jackassed umbrella was. i never saw it, i never touched it, you never told me where you put it, and willie-wang never said anything to me about it. period end of story."
and i say, "well, i don’t care what you say, you’re still buying me a new umbrella."
so you ask, "i had nothing to do with you losing your umbrella. why should i buy you a new umbrella?"
and i respond: "cuz it was a really really fancy expensive umbrella and YOU are the only one who can afford it."
i wonder— would you buy me a new umbrella or would you tell me to go fuck myself?
DJ: Oh, I would definitely tell you to go fuck yourself.
ad: i thought so. next question?
DJ: So, are you saying Leah Cohen didn’t leave Centro Vinoteca because of cashflow problems?
ad: as far as i know, she’s on her way to southeast asia and she’ll be traveling for nine months. does that sound like somebody who wasn’t making money to you? better yet, why don’t you just ask her.
DJ: Is the Gusto Ristorante townhouse for sale? Can I buy it?
ad: i think the only way to answer that question is to MAKE AN OFFER ALREADY. be sure to bring along a certified check.
DJ: OK, one last question. Can I blog about the you-know-what now? Seeing as the cat’s… kind of out of the bag and all?
ad: frankly my dear i don’t give a shit.
okay well thanks to the peoples who forwarded along all the hoopla about MinettaTavern and former Gawker whatever jesse-oxfeld. at first i thought it was kinda amusing, but i wasn’t going to address it because— well quite frankly, who gives a shit. woooo somebody who is not a PX got treated like dog poop by a "hott" restaurant! wow that is such the newsflash, i’m amazed there isn’t a whole fucking book about it.
oh wait right, there is. dipshits.
but whatever. you want the astoundingly brilliant wisdom i have come to be known far and wide across the interwebs for distilling with such consistency and remarkable aplomb?
you got it, bitches.
yah so.
okay when i read alls about what (allegedly?) happened, my first instinct was:
aha ha ha ha ahaaah i aint buyin it.
oh i mean— of coooourse i buy the part about some geeky writer dude getting dissed by MinettaTavern. i mean like, DUH.
but sorrrry, i don’t believe the keith-mcnally responsive "excuse" for one second.
you’re dying to know why, aren’t you?
well. lots of reasons!
but mainly cuz i feel like "oh child, i have BEEN THERE, honey."
see, i never had the (assuredly awesome) experience of working for keith-mcnally, but i have worked for his brother brian-mcnally (as you’re all well aware).
anyways one time, a former manager of Pastis told me it’s pretty much "the same" situation. and i believe it cuz even keith-mcnally’s beautiful and enchanting wife alina-johnson.mcnally a whiles ago remarked to me how she and her hubby used to "have screaming matches at the front desk" back when she was a maiterdee (wow that’s just like me and brian! without the ring, the house, and the babies). and then later a former manager of Balthazar confirmed all this with a little anecdote of his own. oh but i digress.
anyhoo
when i attempt to re-enact the whole scenario in my imagination, this is how i envision (with all the vast knowledge and undeniable insight i possess) the whole rigmarole musta gone down:
- geeky writer dude phones in, can’t get his rezzie, blah blah, pitches a hissy fit.
- reservationist "hannan" puts him on hold, checks his name in the OpenTable database and voilà— just as she suspected— he aint shit.
but wait! maybe there’s no OpenTable? fine. so okay she does the next best (and smartest) thing: she checks with big dawg himself. just in case. cuz ya know— some of the most obnoxious peoples on the telephone are often the most important peoples in the wooooorld, no?
- keith-mcnally replies to her inquiry: "jesse ox what? who the fuck is he?"
- and unfortunately, hannan doesn’t have an answer. tsk tsk bad hannan bad hannan. (that’s why you’re just a reservationist and not a maiterdee where all the big money and prestige is, hannan! start keeping up with that PageSix/GothamMag/blogger-circle-jerk, girl! unless of course this is just some stupid side gig to you, because you are too busy working on that PhD— in which case, you GO. carry on. just ignore me.)
- and so keith-mcnally decides: "i would throw out any peasant in the place…!" oh whoops, sorry! wrong restaurateur. i meant
– and so keith-mcnally decides: "eh. i’m too sexy for that clown." or something like that.
- and so hannan goes back to the telephone to inform jesse-ollyollyoxenfree he is not welcome EVERRRR. unless he wants to come at 6 or 11pm.
THEN! OMG IT’S ALLS OVER THE INTERWEBS A GEEKY WRITER DUDE GOT DISSED AAACK GAAGGH ARRRGGH SOUND THE CIRCLE JERKY ALARMS IT’S ANARCHY IT’S CHAOS AND WTF ARE THOSE BLONDE STREAK THINGIES HIS ACTUAL HAIRDO OR IS THAT SOME KIND OF BIZARRO LENS DISTORTION???!!!!
- so keith-mcnally responds to all the blogga blogga drama the only typically unimaginative way he can— he blames it all on poor stupid idiotic hannan. he claims:
"…Mr. Oxfeld was so pushy and aggressive on the telephone that she took it upon herself to distort the reservation policy to ensure that someone as unpleasant-sounding as Mr. Oxfeld would not be eating at Minetta Tavern…"
mmmm… hmm?
BULLSHIT i say.
riiiiight. hannan gives a rat’s ass WHO comes to MinettaTavern, WHY again? cuz i mean, it’s not like she CLOCKS OUT and GOES THE FUCK HOME after her shift working the phone lines or anything.
and she "took it upon herself" to brandish her sword and become the official guardian of the sanctity of the restaurant, cuz i’m sure they’ve NEVER HAD AN OBNOXIOUS PATRON BEFORE, and she really really really felt she wanted to EARN that $7.00 per hour, boy— cuz answering the neverending ringadings and saying the same exact shit a bazillion times a day simply isn’t exhibiting enough dedication to her field. right?
and let’s never mind that if mcnally’s excuse were true, hannan would soooo be FIRED right now. at least, that’s what would have happened at a brian-mcnally establishment. no wait, i’m sorry. she would be FIRED, unless she was really gorgeous and coquettish, and then she would be ‘FIRED with the option of re-employment.’
in short:
come on now. GET SERIOUS.
gawd you people are silly.
= "personne extraordinaire"