CORRUPTION IN THE FOOD MEDIA: Grubstreet’s “Two for Eight”

September 2nd, 2010

GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]

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“Mercer… Lobby… Screaming”

August 25th, 2010

Greatest Hits: PX This [The Blahg]

Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).

And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]

 

[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]

 

"PX This Mercer Lobby Screaming"

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2005. 11:38AM

omygawd i got thrown out of theMercerHotel yesterday!
aha hah hahaa aah

oh okay that’s not ENTIRELY true. actually i left quietly of my own accord— because i am more than sufficiently aware lois-freedman (director of operations for jean-georges restaurants) doesn’t even HAVE the fucking authority to kick me out of theMercerHotel.

yah so anyways it was a real scene oh you should have been there— the best part was when lois-freedman started screaming at marc-bagutta at the top of her lungs "GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND OOOUT OF HEEERE! I’LL CALL THE COPPPS! IF JEAN-GEORGES WAS HERE, HE WOULD THROW HER OUTTT PERSSSONALLY!" i swear i thought her head was going to start spinning all around like that demonically possessed chick in that spooky exorcist movie.
and there were lots of other peoples (like dean-winters for example) sitting in the hotel lobby too trying to quietly enjoy their wine and tea and whatnot so they got some free entertainment. oh! i am sooo BUMMED i didn’t have any pxthis business cards on me to pass around like "thank yooou, we’ll be here all week."

by the way if you’re wondering why in the world lois-freedman would suddenly just bust out with her bestest impersonation of large-marge the lady truckdriver in Peewee Herman’s Big Adventure— alls i can say is: hmm. beats me!

so then anyways today we called ABhotels corporate office trying to understand why we are supposedly "NOT WELCOME EVVVERRR!"
they were very surprised to hear the news and so sweet saying this is not the case at all since we are such good and frequent patrons of theRaleigh in miami (and plus cuz we’re so faboolous) we are welcome "ANYTIME… ANYWHERE…" they even offered to send me a written apology.
yay!
[they also said something along the lines of "lois who..?" but oh never mind.]

anyhoo. oh yah so that same day after we’d left MercerHotel my pal "bunny"kim (who also used to work for jean-georges) and i went over to CiprianiDowntown to have some bellinis, because the poor thing needed a drink since she was so suddenly and unexpectedly subjected to lois-freedman’s freaky ballistic apeshit episode—
and hee eheee it was great, when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.

then afterward since we were in the area, we decided to pop into Kittichai around the corner.
and it was great, it just so happens dwayne-collins who also used to work with us for jean-georges is now the general manager of Kittichai. so when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.

and right then chef cedric-tovar happened to walk in, and it was great, when we recounted to him what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, he was so amused and felt so sorry for us he invited us over to Django (so he could comp our drinks and send an entire meal from the kitchen too).
geezus if we had kept going, we probably could have eaten for free all week long all over downtown NYC! ha ahaah

… but we were totally stuffed and couldn’t handle any more food so instead we decided to head over to Butter to check out the new monday night party thingie by richie-akiva & scott-sartiano & ronnie-madra.
it was really bunny-kim who wanted to go, so i was kinda totally prepared to despise every last minute of the experience. but actually, it wasn’t bad!
and i saw liev-schreiber & drea-dematteo & andre-harrell & sean-lennon & vincent-gallo & (of course) the olsen-twins. and that was just in the mere 40 minutes we stayed, a whole mess of other faboolous peoples were pouring in just as we were trying to get the fuck out. maybe i’m just too old fer that shit…

 

pxthis.com archives

This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on February 22, 2005, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010

 

* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez

 

 

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Jean Georges Enterprises… [UPDATE]

August 15th, 2010

 

Uh oh:

"A former cook at celeb chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s JoJo Restaurant said she had to endure heaping helpings of sexual harassment… Arlene Keith says she went to work as a meat cook… and was subjected to vile, sexually explicit remarks and advances by another cook… When the alleged victim complained to her boss, he began being abusive to her as well, the lawsuit says…
Vongerichten, named as a defendant but not accused of any harassment, called the suit ‘frivolous.’" [The NY Post]

 

Hmm.
Well, the last time the Jean Georges organization faced a "frivolous" (or whatever) lawsuit, it cost them $1.75M. (We’re just sayin’.)

I mean, sure, $1.75M may seem like a lot of money to you, but that’s just like spare change or ‘tip money’ to them. Thanks for all your concern sending this news to us and everything, but fret not— apparently, they can afford it!

 

P.S. Oh yeah, see the "UPDATE" in the title up there? Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.

 

 

**See also (earlier):
• Jean Georges Enterprises – Shit, meet Fan. Fan, meet Shit. [Part 1 and Part 2]

 

For more on this story, read PX This – The Revised Edition [and PX This Too (Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010)]

 

 

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Are We Sick of ______ Yet?

July 8th, 2010

 

For want of a better title to depict today’s issue, I’ve decided to start a new PX This feature, wherein we address all the overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel we’re totally sick of.

Why, you ask? As in— if we’re sick of it, why are even discussing it? Well, that’s a very good point. However, I’ve spent some time lately familiarizing myself with the search engine keywords guiding our fair visitors (in an effort to be a more informative "blah-grrr"), and I’ve deduced there are indeed a whole lot of people out there in need of our unique and keenly knowledgeable insight, particularly to assist in weeding through all that misleading overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel out there.
Yes, it’s a rough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
You’re welcome!

 

Are We Sick of Josh Ozersky Yet?

The answer is naturally: Yes, of course we are. We’re sick to death of him.

But, we still couldn’t help but be eye-rollingly amused by tools-of-a-feather, circle-jerk-brethren, ethics-lacking "journalist" Joshua David Stein’s hare-brained defense of his pal, Josh Ozersky— titled (or rather, mis-titled), "Why People are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky."
In it, Stein unleashes a staggering god-knows-how-many words in some kind of spurious attempt to elucidate the reader with an answer to his superfluous question. And yet somehow still fails to surmise the obvious:

People Are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky Because He is a Glaringly Clueless, Over-Bloated, Publicist-Indentured, Sycophantic, Unethical, Freeloading Tool.

 

Luckily! — The comments section of said article provide ample (hilarious) enlightenment.

To wit:

"Pretty good but a major reason (probably THE major reason) for people dogpiling on Ozersly is that he just isn’t that great at what he does (his fact-checking is horrific, which suggests that his depth of knowledge of his subject matter is shallow), but he’s a cocky bastard. He’s also an utterly shameless self-promoter. And he goes way beyond a free meal or a free bottle of booze here and there. The guy has elevated, or dropped pay-for-press to a new level. The La Frieda and Hanson stuff is especially egregious. He makes himself extremely easy to hate and all of this is his own fault."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605684

"Most internet food writing (blogging, whatever) is just the regurgitation of press releases. That’s why they’re always talking about the same things at the same time and why so many of them publish the same error-riddled stories. It’s basically block-save "writing" (don’t call it journalism, because it isn’t) by callow people who know very lttle about their subject. The worst cases, like Ozersky, actually believe that they are expert in their field. And they’re easily bought off, usually for cheap. Ozersky just upped the ante in the low-rent, freeloading game with this $50,000 or so boondoggle. He’s the shit king of turd mountain now."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605786

 

Yeah, of the 32 or so comments attached (not to mention the pretentious, verbose article) that essentially pretty much sums up the solution to the conundrum right there. And we didn’t even have to write it! (Neither, apparently, should have Stein.)

 

We’re just sayin’ elaboratin’.

**********************************************************

** See also (earlier):
Grubstreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant (& Stupid)
NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical
Gawker Loses “Ignorasshole”
NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb
Abbe Diaz vs Gawker

 

*** For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autmn of 2010 ***

 

 

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Grubstreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant…

June 28th, 2010

GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this

PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.

[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]

 

New York Magazine’s GRUBSTREET and Gawker’s GRIDSKIPPER
(Addressing Their Remarkable Ignorance and Outright Stupidity):
Started: February 21, 2008. 11:44AM by *Dick Johnson* • Closed: June 28, 2010 11:17AM • Archived at 84,619 Views

 

PRIMARY SUBJECT : GrubStreet’s Former Managing Editor, Josh Ozersky

 

ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former GridSkipper Blogger, Chris-Mohney. Chef/Restaurateur Jean-Georges Vongerichten.

 

GIST OF TOPIC : Josh Ozersky is a biased, unethical, sycophantic tool. (This discussion thread essentially proves it. Lots of quotes, hyperlinks, etc. contained within.)

 

SIGNIFICANCE: In February of 2008, Abbe Diaz was asked to leave the bar at Jean Georges restaurant’s Nougatine before she could even finish her drink. That story itself is pretty entertaining.
However, it gets downright hysterical after GrubStreet’s Josh Ozersky chooses to recount the anecdote thusly:

Ungrammatical Forum Poster Tossed From Jean Georges, Gets Revenge in Ungrammatical Forum Post
We’re always leery of the strange, strange world of Abbe Diaz and her online forum, PX This, but a media alert titled Blogger Tossed From Jean Georges was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Diaz a former maitre d’ at Jean Georges who wrote a dishy book about her experiences in the business was in fact the blogger tossed, a cringe-inducing event publicized by the pilloried herself. (All of Diaz’s entries on PX This read like interminable text messages tapped out by the jittery, manicured thumbnails of an ex-model at Rose Bar at 4 a.m.) We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you dog someone you worked for in a book, don’t go to his restaurant unless you know he won’t be around.

Abbe Diaz promptly responds in the comments section of that item:

How flattering! I would much rather sound like an ex-model at Rose Bar than a sycophantic journalist who gets all his information from press releases, any day of the week.
Here’s another "educational" tip for you: Don’t mistreat your staff members (or people in general, for that matter), because there’s such a thing in the universe called "karma," and its faces are plentiful and powerful.
Cheers,
abbe diaz
PX This.
p.s. Dear "Bookseller": Grub Street gives me a link, because right now I happen to be the most prominent voice of "the little people."
Y’know, the ones without whom the Industry to which Grub Street pays soooo much attention, wouldn’t even exist. *

*Note: For unknown reasons, Abbe Diaz’s comment in rebuttal to Josh Ozersky has since been removed from New York magazine’s website.

Good thing we saved it here! (And a whole lotta other fun stuff, too!)
Anyway— luckily, the Daily News also chooses to write their own account of the incident in a far more objective manner, and seeing as lots and lots and lots more people read the Daily News than Grubstreet, that was oodles of fun and cause for much celebration amongst Diaz’s "strange, strange world."

The discussion thread progresses over several months until it is eventually revealed that New York magazine will not renew Josh Ozersky’s contract as Managing Editor, and he is leaving GrubStreet to become Blog Editor for CitySearch. This, of course, would have been of little or no relevance to us (the NYC Food & Beverage industry professionals) had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior. As it turns out, it was instead utterly priceless.

A few more weeks progress, and then it is revealed Jean-Georges Vongerichten and his restaurant group have agreed to settle a class-action lawsuit filed by employees of eight of his eateries for the misappropriation of tip wages earned by staff— to the tune of $1.75 million.
Again, this revelation would likely have been satisfying at best, but thanks to Josh Ozersky’s misplaced sycophantic contretemps, it ends up knee-slappingly uproarious to us, the "strange, strange world" of NYC’s Food & Beverage industry professionals.

The discussion finally culminates several months later, with the announcement of Josh Ozersky’s departure from CitySearch and the demise of his own personal unsuccessful "Feedbag" blog, created after his egress from GrubStreet.

Fascinating.

 

RATING: ★★★★★

 

WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.

The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]

***********************************************

*Pictured: Anton Ego, food writer, Ratatouille

** See also :
NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")
NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb

 

For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010

 

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NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical

June 25th, 2010


NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or “Dumb”)

When we last visited the subject of Josh Ozersky, he was deservedly being ridiculed on national television. Well, it would appear his latest shameless attempt at self-aggrandizement has backfired as well. Some people never learn.

Ozersky, known in and amongst the industry as a "clueless, over-bloated, publicist-indentured sycophant" and "notorious freeloader," apparently penned a "self-centered and egomaniacal" editorial for Time magazine about his own recent wedding, wherein he "extolled the virtues of using restaurant chefs instead of caterers," "prais[ed] the food to the skies," and then failed to disclose all the goods and services he received for said wedding were completely gratis.
For all you non-Latin-speaking folks at home, that means Josh Ozersky engaged in a blatant breach of journalistic integrity.

 

LOL!
I know, I know, you’re arching your brow right now and wondering, "Sooo— where’s the newsflash, Dick? I may not speak Latin, but this here folk at home knows allll about this tool already. Isn’t this what PX This has been saying all along? I mean like, duh!"

Hey, I was being sarcastic in that title up there, OK? Plus, there is another point I wanted to make:

See all this pertinent new information in here I wanted to add to a previous story?

Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.

 

 

 

 

** See also:

“NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb”

“…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”

 

 

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The Hostess Diaries Conspiracy

June 22nd, 2010

GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this

PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.

 

[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]

 

THE HOSTESS DIARIES CONSPIRACY

Started: May 27, 2008. 12:47 PM by (Forum Administrator) *jo* • Closed: June 22, 2010 11:56PM • Archived at 15,935 Views

 

PRIMARY SUBJECT : New York Times article "My Year at a Hotspot" by Coco Henson Scales, July 11, 2004

ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former gawker.com Managing Editor Choire Sicha, Former New York Times food critic Frank Bruni, Former Hue hostess Coco Henson Scales (and friend, William Diggs)

GIST OF TOPIC : Did Choire Sicha and/or Coco Scales (along with Frank Bruni) "conspire" to misappropriate the subject matter in PX This for their own glorification and/or personal gain?

SIGNIFICANCE: In June of 2004, Abbe Diaz purchases a short-running advertising spot within gawker.com to help publicize her book, PX This (Diary of the "Maitre d’ to the Stars"). Within several weeks of that advertisement, the aforementioned article in question, “My Year at a Hotspot,” appears in The New York Times, ostensibly written by former (prominent PX This "character" Karim Amatullah’s) Hue hostess, Coco Henson Scales.
Gawker Editor Choire Sicha declares the article the "best celebrity venality exposé ever!" and goes on to exhort, "if Gawker had a required reading syllabus, it would consist entirely of this article." He then further exalts the article by declaring Coco Scales "The People’s Hero" on his personal blog as well, choiresicha.com (now semi-defunct).
Within hours, "fans" of PX This ("anywhere from 15 to 35 people") send e-mails to Sicha drawing attention to Diaz’s book, with at least one pointing out Diaz’s status as a former advertiser. Diaz herself forwards a mention of her book in the Daily News to Sicha. Sicha responds via e-mail to Diaz (and at least one "enthusiast") but, despite referring to himself as a “big fan,” fails to publicly acknowledge the existence of Diaz’s book in any way.

It is later discovered the climax of Scales’s riveting narrative is completely fictional. Upon speculation as to how a fictional essay (by a previously unknown/unpublished writer) could possibly appear in the New York Times as a non-fictional feature in the first place, it is discovered Choire Sicha "dated Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni for a few months."

Scales has written nothing since.

RATING: ★★★★

 

WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.

The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]

***********************************************

*Pictured (from boston.com): Choire Sicha, Former Gawker blogger, Emily Gould

** See also (earlier): Gawker Loses "Ignorasshole"

 

For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010

 

 

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Gawker Loses “Ignorasshole”

June 17th, 2010

GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this

PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.

 

[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]

 

GAWKER LOSES "IGNORASSHOLE"

Started: Nov 21 2007, 01:58 PM by *what’s anorexia?* • Closed: February 17, 2010 12:10PM • Archived at 44,539 Views

 

PRIMARY SUBJECT : Former gawker.com blogger Joshua David Stein aka "the ignorasshole"

ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former gawker.com blogger Emily Gould. Gawker owner/publisher Nick Denton. Former NY Post journalist and gawker.com blogger Ian Spiegelman. Former Gawker managing editor Gabriel Snyder. Former Grubstreet blogger Josh Ozersky. Brian Grazer.

GIST OF TOPIC : Joshua David Stein is an ignorant asshole. Also, a hypocrite. And apparently, a bit of a horntoad who slept with his co-worker. Lots of links and quotes and whatnot provided. Some jabs at gawker.com too, because "they suck" in general.
And then everyone at Gawker who was ever a jerkface suddenly quits or gets fired. Riveting.

SIGNIFICANCE: Abbe Diaz and Joshua David Stein have serious beef from way back (Sept 2007). The guy is a tool; this thread pretty much proves it.
Also, *abbe* randomly drops a comment in a Gawker item, and houses owner Nick Denton’s ass. Fun times.
Gawker bans Abbe Diaz from commenting at Gawker [weak sauce!] because they’re immensely intimidated by her. Twice.

RATING: ★★★★

 

WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.

The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]

***********************************************

For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010

 

 

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NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb

March 16th, 2010

We’ve always been leery of the boring, idiotic world of Josh Ozersky (and the numerous incarnations of his online bullshit), but a video segment from The Soup was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Ozersky— a "clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophant[ic]" blogger— was in fact pilloried by No Reservations (and subsequently, The Soup), a cringe-inducing event publicized by Ozersky’s food blogger peers and former colleagues. (All of Ozersky’s blog entries read like interminable clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophantic pontifications tapped out by the jittery, chubby fingers of a man who can’t wait to get his hands on his next donut-bacon-cheeseburger). We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you’re a trite, pathetic, snooze-inducing dweebshit, don’t go on national television.

 

** See also:

NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")

“…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”

 

*********************************************

For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010

 

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“eew, that’s gabriel-snyder” [UPDATE]

February 16th, 2010

"eew, that’s gabriel-snyder" [UPDATE]

Right now, most of you are likely asking, "Who the hell is Gabriel Snyder?" Well, let me remind you!

Gabriel Snyder is the former managing editor of a website called Gawker. As you may or may not realize, PX This has a long, long, sordid history with Gawker. Well, to make a lengthy story short: Our founder, Abbe Diaz, was once a fan of Gawker. She was an early advertiser with them, a longtime avid, insightful "commenter" and even the subject of several of Gawker’s blog posts. Then one day, Gabriel Snyder effectively censored Abbe Diaz’s opinion by "banning" her without just cause or valid explanation, in a manner contrary and hypocritical to Gawker’s ostensible comment/discussion system.

 

This just in: Gabriel Snyder has been replaced as managing editor of Gawker.

I know what you’re thinking – "That’s so amazing, Dick Johnson! You’re so awesome!" [Thank you!]

But, you’re also thinking, "Really, though, who gives a shit about that dweeb? We actually don’t really care."

Yes, I know, I see your point. But, there is another point I wanted to make:

See the "[UPDATE]" in the title of this post up top?

Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.

 

For more on this story, please read PX This Too – Coming in the Spring of 2010

 

 

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Beware the “Delivery Boy” Grifter

November 2nd, 2009

wiercinski_jamroz

Here is Adam Wiercinski aka Adam Jamroz. He was employed as a part-time delivery person for over 20 years at Mangia corporation, where he recently attempted to defraud the company by twice filing fallacious lawsuits. The strategy for his attempted multi-million dollar extortion Read more…

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GoldBar’s Doorman is a Tool

July 31st, 2009

velvetrope

But you probably aready knew that from experience, right? Well, here’s even more confirmation.

Recently, former nightlife impresario Steve Lewis blogged about one of his many friends and acquaintances (as is his wont). Normally, his work is of the ‘take with a grain of salt’ nature – most preposterous and controvertible to those in and around the nightlife industry (comprehensibly), and most credible and tenable to – well, everyone else, I suppose (perceivably).

GoldBar’s Jon Lennon was the subject of the day on July 15, 2009. Steve Lewis’s article starts, "Nightclub 101: the door is everything." LOL! Yea, as you can well imagine, it only goes downhill from there.

The column proceeds with Lewis’s typical flotsam and bullshit jetsam, most notably in the precise words "consummate pro" to describe Doorman Lennon. It culminates with these sentiments, expressed by Lennon himself in a Q&A interview:

SL: Tell me how you educate a person.
JL: I just have a brief conversation with them. I even have taken people to the side to do it, where I say, I know you’re a nice guy, your girlfriend is very beautiful, your two friends I can’t do….

SL: You wake up in the morning and you’re doing the door, and you’re thinking…
JL: Always. That’s my personality anyway, thinking about it. I try to remember, “you’re a doorman, as much as you’re in a powerful position, you’re still just a doorman, you’re everyone’s equal.” It never gets to my head because I’d rather be a rock star…

 

From what I gather, this is where a certain reader (we happen to know) lost her shit. She addresses Steve Lewis via Facebook, stating:

[Abbe Diaz at 5:42pm July 15]
um, excuse me? "consummate pro"– OH RILLY.
sorry, i would never ever ever ever in a million years define telling a prospective patron [at 10PM]: "well, if he owns seven restaurants in manhattan then he can afford to take care of ME. is he asking ME for a favor? then he needs to take care of ME."
(and yes that’s a DIRECT QUOTE)
as the act of a "consummate pro."

 

The rest of the exchange, including Lennon’s (pedestrian and idiotic) response is here.

 

Yeah yeah, OK. A doorman is a stupid idiot. It’s because you couldn’t get in, right? Loser! What’s your point, Vanilla Ice? I’ve got the Media holding on Line 1, and they want to know where’s the newsflash already.

Hey, did you read the title? My point is Jon Lennon is a Tool Box. I just wanted to brag again about how brilliant I am (I’m also the "Trollai Llama" in case you didn’t know) and point out how absurdly, hilariously (and contemptibly) it all played out [scroll down the comments, starting with abbe diaz's on July 29, 2009 4:54PM].

L O fucking L. God bless teh internets.

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“eew, that’s Gabriel Snyder.”

July 15th, 2009

snyder

OMG the hipsters are taking over. ugh. gagh. blergh. BLECCCH.

last night was dinner at one of my favoritest places. and can you fucking believe it– one of my most UNfavoritest creepfaces on the planet was there. what the fuck. shouldn’t he be on a stoop or a rooftop or in some internet cafe or some shit in brooklyn somewheres? i mean– SURELY the west village is too bourgeois for him, no? GO AWAY JERKHEAD.

yah so
there i am trying to enjoy my dinner at my regular weekly haunt when, lo and behold, who should come and plop his dorky ass at the table right behind me. gabriel "dweebface" snyder. nice sneakers, scrotumhead. whassa matter– Goodwill was out of Hush Puppies?

so right away (after i suppress the bile bubbling forth and ingurgitate my cud and overcome my gag reflex and roll my eyes into my head) i say to my date: "eew. that’s gabriel snyder." and then i explain who gabriel snyder is.

my date responds: "ohhhh… should i say something to him?" and starts to rise out of his seat.
but i stop him.

why?

because (aside from the fundamental axiom he shouldn’t fight my battles for me) gabriel-snyder just happens to be sitting with richard-johnson, paula-froelich, corynne-steindler, chris-wilson, tom-sykes, and a half dozen other gawd only knows who elses. in other words, ya know– i was suddenly overwhelmed by visions of an imperial shihtzu in a pool of piranhas, if you hear what i’m sayin.

some other time, gabriel-snyder.
BITE ME, BITCH.

 

** See also: The UPDATE on Gabriel Snyder**

 

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