Nick Denton vs Leigh Haber

November 4th, 2010 by The House


GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]

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[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]


"Nick Denton vs Leigh Haber"

thu 01.18.07: oh my gawd last night is without a doubt going down in my own little personal history as one of the FUNNEST nights i have had (or will have) ever in my whole fucking lifetime

eeheeheheee haha hahaaa check this shit out:

yah so last night was dinner at WaverlyInn. i invited leigh-haber to join me for a nice evening out because i was having a really shitty week and i totally deserved a respite (and i wanted to celebrate leigh-haber’s Modern Times).
somewhere amidst the bottle of Montagny and the fantastic conversation and the massive pot pies and the jon-bon.jovis and karolina-kurkovas and andre-harrells and graydon-carters and brian-mcnallies and eric-goodes and sante-d’orazios and sean-macphersons and jimmy-mccaffreys etc etc etc i tap leigh-haber on the elbow and declare, "hey look it’s nick-denton."

leigh-haber takes one glimpse at nick-denton and responds, "oh. hmm. should i say something?" and before i even have a chance to completely execute my shrug, leigh-haber is out of her seat and across the room ohmygoodness i was so fucking proud of her she’s like totally my hero.


apparently leigh-haber said to nick-denton [right there in front of his entire dinner party-of-six GO GIRL]: "ya know, last week i was promoted (because i worked my ass off and i’m finally getting some dues) and it should have been a nice day for me, but instead of feeling good about it, i had to feel miserable, because i was both promoted and eviscerated on the very same day, by a bunch of people who have absolutely no inkling who i am."
[or something like that, i admit i’m paraphrasing but i know the word "eviscerate" was definitely in there.]

nick-denton then evidently replied: "i didn’t see the item."

so then leigh-haber retorted something like: "well as the owner of Gawker, i believe you bear a certain level of responsibility."

nick-denton conceded.

and then leigh-haber came back to the table and i was positively BEAMING for her no joke i was totally the [hot. smokin] freaky asian chick GLOWING in the corner.

a little whiles later, as we were strolling out of the restaurant, theWaverly higher-powers decided they wanted to buy us a round of drinks [because i am so fucking fierce like that], they insisssted we sit down again at a front bar table and enjoy a cordial or digestif. so leigh-haber and i accepted, we got nice and cozy in the corner by the fireplace and let them kiss our fucking rings.

so then of course leigh-haber and i were afforded a lovely view of nick-denton leaving after dinner, but pausing for a minute (after a quick glance thrown our way) to tap at his Blackberry(?)Treo(?)Sidekick(?)whatever.
i turn to leigh-haber and i guffaw: "look, maybe nick-denton is texting his editor about you right now aahahahahaahaa"
and then nick-denton was out the door.


so then leigh-haber and i sat for a while and enjoyed our drinks and the sparkling witty banter of The Little Dog Laughed‘s douglas-carter.beane (who just happened to be seated next table over) and right as leigh-haber was lamenting that perhaps being called "the next judith-regan" wasn’t "exactly the best compliment"—
GUESS who walked into the restaurant.

judith fucking regan i SWEAR TO GAWD. ha ha hah hahhahh ahahahhahahaa you think i can make this shit up, i can’t.


so. today i just want to extend a really warm and heartfelt thank you to leigh-haber. for making my evening just the bestest night ever.
and also to say i’m sorry, but i just couldn’t resist.
even though leigh-haber sent me a gracious and lovely e-mail this morning asking me to please not comment on our night out together on my silly little blahggety blahg thingie—
sweetie you’re smoking crack there was NO WAY IN HELLS i was going to keep this one to myself.

the other thing for which i wanted to thank leigh-haber (and i bet she doesn’t even realize this) is that last night she really opened my eyes and helped me with something of a little internal dilemma.

see, i have been sorta struggling with this here blahg thingie lately. it just so happens i am lucky enough to have been offered a couple of small investments from some very nice (and apparently brilliant, with astoundingly remarkable foresight) peoples who, for some reason, think possibly there is some $$ to be made here somehow (selling ads or some shit). but
i have been ruminating to myself just HOW in gawd’s name will this be possible— i mean
do this EVERY DAY? how could i possibly, i’m not that fucking interesting.

and so lately, my inner turmoil has been:
should i use the mountains and mountains and mountains of nightlife industry "insider" 411
[ahahaa scratch that. 411? bitch please, i got Google all up in this mutherfukker. no joke]
that is fed and spread to me incessantly— the kind of stuffs i think other interweb bloogie thingies would kill for—

[like for example how Morandi is set to open like any millisecond now but already there’s a shade of drama in the kitchen, i can’t wait to see how that shit plays out… and how BoweryHotel is lookin gooood… and how LafayetteInn is looking even better, and all their "pre-opening" guests are faaabooolous… and how ChinatownBrasserie had better make that dimsum shit work, boy… and how masaharu-morimoto and stephen-starr just might be beefin with each other and maybe they’ll get divorced pretty soon… and how alan-yau is making ian-schrager‘s life a little bit of hell… and how theCoreClub is ummm maybe not exactly impressing their members so so much… and ya know. stuff like that. oh but i digress.]

—but are told to me unwittingly. in casual conversation. by my friends and acquaintances and "colleagues" and other peoples i love and admire and respect.

i don’t want to be frank-bruni or adam-platt or alan-richman or steve-cuozzo with their frikkin (obnoxious) one-star three-star go-here don’t-go-there they’re-worthy/unworthy let’s-shut-this-fucking-place-down bullshit.
i don’t want to go peeking in the cracks of the plywood trying to expose projects that haven’t even fucking started yet.
i don’t want to go sticking my fat obtrusive face in peoples’ businesses just to say mean things about them, because it’s "funny."
and i definitely don’t want to go clamoring for ugly photographs of "celebrities" [hell, everybody takes a bad photo sometimes yes even someone as totally smokin as me] just so i can make them look stupid and then exploit them.

last night with leigh-haber i realized i don’t have to. hells, my life is pretty darned amusing sometimes. and no i’m not a "business," i’m an ARTIST goddammit.
(eeheee geezus, i really can take anything in the universe and make it all about me)

thanks leigh-haber. and thanks to you too BigHomey




*** Gawker’s next-day response to this narrative is here –> “Leigh Haber Takes Her Complaints Straight to the Top” ***


* * * * *

**pictured: Nick Denton, former Gawker blogger Emily Gould archives

This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on January 18, 2007, for web archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Coming Soon in the Spring of 2011)


* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez




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One Response to “Nick Denton vs Leigh Haber”

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