PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Nice! Huh, looks a whooole lot bigger now too.
Please rate the Bar:
Pretty great. Spacious, commodious, and welcoming; the way it’s supposed to be. Easy on the eyes too. [Yay, Jean-Marc Houmard finally built a bar large enough to accommodate all his throngs of fans and minions. Boo, this place is gonna be jam packed.]
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Very good creative cocktail list and sagacious eclectic wine list, all at relatively reasonable prices. [Enjoyed a nice bottle of pinot noir from Williamette (offered by the glass as well) BUT, personally I think there's better out there in that price range. Just sayin'.]
Oh and also: maybe not such a big fan of the (currently ubiquitous) blecch cheapo glassware. Damn you, Keith McNally.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s big. And well done. But really now, with the impressive pedigree goin’ on around here, were you expecting anything less?
Please rate the BOH:
Holy cow. Excellent. Way better than expected; the menu itself isn’t even an indication of its culinary inventiveness. [Until you realize Executive Chef Mads Refslund hails from Noma. Yes, that Noma. And then you're all: Ah. Makes total sense now. And, wow.]
How was the staff?
Very nice. [They've been around...]
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Farm eggs with cauliflower and parmesan : Mmmm, but kinda totally not what you’d expect. I think. Great presentation. Sooo… at higher volumes, how…? Oh just stop thinking and eat it.
Smoked ham with mushroom creme fraîche: Mushroom creme fraîche?! Yup, exactly. Delicious.
Ravioli with brussel sprouts and spinach : Excellent. Order two.
Beet salad : Not the biggest fan of beets, but it came so highly recommended by the waiter (with a money back guarantee, no less), couldn’t resist. And he was right. Firm, farm fresh, and pretty darned tasty.
Cured salmon : Very nice. Ha, also very Scandinavian; not really very “southern” or “cajun.”
Chicken and eggs : Again, not exactly what you’d expect. (What would you expect, anyway?) But very good. The sauce is great.
Pureed potatoes with bacon : OMG, craving it right now.
What did you like?
Everything. Oh it’s so nice to go a new restaurant where everyone really knows what the fuck they’re doing. How did it become such a rarity?
What did you dislike?
The jerkoff sitting over at oh forget it never mind.
What was your last impression?
Me? PX? Really? Aww yeeaah, bitches.
Would you come back?
Hah! I wish! Will I be able to get back in here?
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you! Love you!
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
It has an excellent reputation but if I’m not mistaken, it was entirely prix fixe when it first opened. And I hate that.
But recently I’d heard it changed to à la carte, so then I was intrigued. Voilà, here I am.
What was your first impression?
Eh, pass. I was here when it was Cru, and I was here when it was— what was it again? —the other kinda stuffy overwrought place before that. Hasn’t changed all that much over its several incarnations. So there wasn’t a whole lot to create a new "first impression."
Please rate the Bar:
It’s the same. But the comfy plush bar seats are gone, replaced by what’s essentially wooden slabs on stilts. Boo.
But whatever, I’ll live. At least the bartender is amicable.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Pretty good wine list (particularly for an Asian restaurant), skewing toward the German, Alsatian, Austrian region to complement the primarily spicy/sweet-ish food. The cocktail list also looks good, with fresh ingredients to enhance its exotic take on classics. I opted for wine though— which does lean a wee toward the expensive side, by the way (just a heads-up).
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s okay, not great. Bear in mind that aside from like, Japan and umm, Shanghai maybe— Asians aren’t exactly the most aesthetic bunch. Functionality usually tops form every time, as in e.g. Chinatown and Little Korea, if you hear what I’m sayin. Unfortunately, this aint Chinatown; it’s Fifth Avenue, bitches! So alls I can say (yea, again) to elaborate is: Hire a decorator to come in here quick, cuz… damn.
Please rate the BOH:
Oh man, thank gawd for this BOH. In short: one bite and you’re all "ugly dining room? what ugly dining room?" Yup, the food is so good you’ll go blind.
How was the staff?
They’re nice. I think they’re leftover from the last place too.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Chicken wings (not the panko, the Amish ones) : Good. A little anemic though; that means they’re organic or "free-range" or whatever, right? I mean, they’re not all big and plump and hopped up on steroids like… well, you get the picture.
Mushroom and peppers "dip" : Woo, child; I have died and gone to spicy heaven. Warning: This dish is not messin around.
Diced raw tuna : Delicious. Super fresh and so flavorful.
The "most popular in Bangkok" green curry (with pork) : Oh, YES. [Sorry, forgot to take descriptive notes, too busy licking plate.]
Braised Shortrib Penang : Very good. Rich and delectable. Too bad the shortrib isn’t quiiite the slow-cooked fork-tender type you might expect, though. But the sauce is pretty incredible.
Sauteed bok choy : Good, perfect.
The chocolate cake, tha tapioca pearl dessert, and one other one I can’t exactly recall now: But they were all exceptional. Yes, especially for an Asian restaurant. No, really.
What did you like?
The food is quite excellent.
What did you dislike?
Umm, the potted plant in the far doorway at the other side of the bar? What is up with that thing? It’s just silly is all.
What was your last impression?
I’m so happy. It feels like forever since I’ve found a place with food I really like. (P.S. Great menu!)
Would you come back?
Well, it’s not far from where I live and the food is fantastic so, hells yeah. And now with winter here? I might just move in.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Totes. Later!
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Cute. It’s different.
Please rate the Bar:
There are two; the one on the lower level is a lot more appealing, and I would think, more comfortable. The main level one seems more like a coffee bar where they’re willing to serve you wine should you be so inclined (it’s cramped, and the stools are smaller).
The bartender is affable enough.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Oh, damn it. Did I forget to even notice if there’s any liquor here? Yup.
Uh, well the name of the place would indicate it’s beer/wine only, but in the photo of the bar I see some extracts and whatnot which would indicate mixology. So, dunno. Sorry!
The wine list is decent; nice selections, reasonable prices (full and half carafe only). But the glassware… sigh. Blecch.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Nice. Simple, rustic (mostly recycled from its prior incarnation), and sorta beautiful in a way. Downstairs is more pleasant than the upstairs dining room. As for the "market" in the anteroom— well, it doesn’t quite seem to be the smartest decision, but if it works for them then good on them.
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Again, nothing too fancy here, but the quality and execution are top-notch.
How was the staff?
So-so. They’re not the most attentive, conscientious, nor amiable bunch, but they’ll do. Maybe it’s just part of their stilo— farmland food, barnyard service.
But considering the management, it’s not surprising. One manager addresses his staff way too loudly during dinner; that speech should’ve been done at line-up. I don’t work here, I don’t need to hear it (and no, your "authority" doesn’t really impress me). The other two, no joke, were standing at the top of the stairwell having a conversation, blocking the entrance to the sunken dining room. Two customers enter, head straight for the bar, and— picture it— the two managers don’t move. As in, at all. They just stand there looking at you like, "yes?"
Seriously? I have to say "excuse me" to get you to let me in? Come on now.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Oh crap. You are not going to believe this, but I accidentally erased my menu notes. Arrgh! But : I do remember there was a sausage appetizer though, and that was very good. Uh, brussel sprouts: delicious. Pasta with cacio e pepe: not bad, but just a touch too peppery. Pappardelle with ragu was much better; beautifully thin pasta. And ugh goddammit there was one other good thing I just can’t remember now. Overall, I recall thinking it was a pleasant meal.
Sorry! Again. Oh I give up.
What did you like?
It’s a cozy neighborhoody kinda joint.
What did you dislike?
Nothing really.
What was your last impression?
The space is really quite charmingly designed.
Would you come back?
Probably? Ya know… there are a LOT of Italian restaurants downtown, so…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, have a good night.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Oh man, that light. Try this trick:
Stare at the light for fifteen seconds. Now squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head away from the light for five seconds. Now open them quickly. Did you see Jesus?
[Ha ha ha ahaa, I didn't write that, I stole it from *rollerfink*]
No but seriously though, I think I got a suntan sitting at that bar.
Please rate the Bar:
Don’t go into the light, Carrie Anne! Sorry, couldn’t resist.
And the bartender is quite the serious young man. He’s very proficient, though.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The cocktails are very good, nice ingredients. But kinda expensive. The wine list is excellent, especially for an Asian restaurant, but again, don’t exactly expect to find any bargains here.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s simple, could be warmer. But it’s pretty plush. Looks kinda Californian actually.
Please rate the BOH:
Exceptional. If you’re a foodie, this is the place for you all right.
How was the staff?
Good. Maybe a wee tense. But that could just be the general aura.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Everything on the menu, I am not even kidding : The menu essentially consists of a three-course tasting and a five-course tasting. There were four of us, we opted for the fiver, there were four choices for each course offered… yada yada, we ate the whole menu. And it was very good, if you’re into that sort of thing. Personally I’m not, but I totally get the appeal. It was all very fancy and creative and artistic. I liked the amuse bouche and the "rice’" course best, I’m just sayin.
What did you like?
It’s always nice to try something new and different. I even gave the superloo a whirl. And ehee heee now I want one.
(Oh, and that Chambolle Musigny was pretty wonderful.)
What did you dislike?
Uh, alls I’m a say is "hire a decorator to come in here quick, cuz… damn."
What was your last impression?
Aww, the other superloo isn’t working right. Boo.
Would you come back?
Well, I’m not sure I would, but my very discerning pals are already planning their return with other friends of theirs. So, it’s not for all of the people all of the time. Like that.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, it was a pleasure.
[P.S. The impending iPad menus in the dining room to match the currently single one at the bar? Please don't.]
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Swanky, it’s kinda pretty actually. Maybe even the nicest of "the lot" (See: The Waverly Inn, Monkey Bar, Minetta Tavern, Standard Grill, Abe & Arthur’s, East Side Social Club, The Dutch, Vintry Wine & Whiskey, Rabbit in the Moon, Le Caprice, Lambs Club, Hurricane Club…)
Please rate the Bar:
It’s very nice— except for the lack of seats. Sorry, never been of fan of standing-room-only imbibing. It’s a possibility that this is temporary, maybe the joint is just new and stools are coming eventually (it happens sometimes). But I wouldn’t hold my breath for them though, cuz it looks like once they arrive there won’t be much room behind the stools for any kind of traffic whatsoever— the walkway from the entrance to the dining room, past the bar, is reeeally narrow— so it’s probably safe to assume the stools won’t arrive until after the primary heyday period. And by then… well, you likely will have moved on the the next deLucie hotspot, yes?
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The cocktails are great, intriguing and creative. Fresh ingredients, quality liquors, expert mixology, beautiful glassware… oh, but you pay for what you get, all right.
The wine list too is discerning and good, and a bit more reasonable than you might expect. Uhh, maybe (See below*).
Please rate the Dining Room:
Also pretty, but ya know— kinda typical. (See: The Waverly Inn, Monkey Bar, Minetta Tavern, Standard Grill, Abe & Arthur’s, East Side Social Club, Rabbit in the Moon, Casa Lever, Le Caprice, Lambs Club, Hurricane Club…)
Please rate the BOH:
Ha ha ahaa oh please. Like you give a shit.
How was the staff?
They’re fine, perfectly proficient if not exactly amiable (except for Joe, but I already knew him from elsewhere— but I was impressed he remembered me).
Hee eheee, the front desk is just a wee humorless; I’d asked if we could leave our names so he could "check with John deLucie to see if we’re worthy of being included in the database," and he was all "aww, come on…" as if I were being ludicrous or something.
Well, it turned out we already were in the database after all, but then we only scored a 6:30 on a Wednesday, so we must not have been marked "PX." I mean, if it were me running that OpenTable for example, I’d have changed us to PX just for our blatant display of sagacity and awesome comedic wit. Also, I probably wouldn’t be harping on about it so much right now, except for "Ferret"s ex-wife apparently getting an 8:30, which must mean she somehow qualifies as a PX whereas we don’t. And to me that’s just fucking hilarious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Oh gimme a break. No, seriously? Like you care : And if you do care, you should probably keep it to yourself. Otherwise then you’ll maybe sound as goofy as the couple seated next to us (yea, clearly also not PX, what with their 6:15 and all) tittering to each other like they never had dinner in New York City before— and then ingratiating themselves to John deLucie with their business card right after their meal. I mean, anybody who would dine that elatedly at 6PM then ask the chef a question like "Do you know Dr. So and So?!" has gotta live in like Long Island or something, sorry. Or maybe that’s just a UES thing, honestly I don’t know.
But fine, we had the tuna nicoise, the salmon tartare, the seafod salad, the ravioli, and the pork something-or-other (? that tasted like ham)— just to give you an idea of the menu. But I swear if you force me to elaborate, I think I might just totally burn down this website, my book, the manuscript for my next book, all the scripts for the rest of the whole shebang, and the fucking Facebook® fan page. Because then I will have QUIT, bitches.
(P.S. No biscuits, though.)
What did you like?
Now I get to say "been there, done that." Godd, I’m cool.
What did you dislike?
That I’m a big enough tool that I neeeed to say, "Been there, done that. Godd, I’m cool."
What was your last impression?
What in the world is with the haunted POS system? Is that Micros? Is it used or refurbished or made in China or something?
Just a word of advice: make sure you take a good look at your check at the end of the night. Cuz *the wine bottles just miiight be priced $20 higher than the wine list dictates, and although the appetizers don’t actually appear invoiced on the bill, somehow their costs are added to the total sum anyways. So ya know, you might then have to spend sorta an inordinate amount of time calculating in your head the possibility of any further discrepancies.
What— I’m not cheap nor anal; it’s the principle, mutherfukkers.
Would you come back?
It’s not exactly my neighborhood…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
To quote former New York Times critic Frank Bruni: "xoxo"!
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Cute! Simple and cozy. Aww, and look, it’s Enzo (which is pretty much the only reason we busted out the passport for this haul up to the UES). Sigh, Sant Ambroeus just isn’t the same without him.
Please rate the Bar:
Nice. Spacious and welcoming. We’d have given it a whirl, but Enzo’s just too efficient…
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
We opted for wine— oh wait, oops! Is there even an ABC license here? Judging by the name of the place, I’d have guessed no, buuut looking at the photos again, it looks like there is some hard booze up in this joint after all. What? Sorry!
Whatever, the wine is good. We had a Pinot Nero that Enzo recommended. Maybe you should too.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s remarkably comfortable considering the spare layout. The deuce booths are kinda nice.
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. I know you won’t believe me cuz you’ll think I’m just being nice cuz I’m an F.O.E. (Friend of Enzo), but seriously— it was very good. Better than Sant Ambroeus. Really truly. No exaggeration, it was actually very reminiscent of the last really great Italian meal I had, and I swear I’m not just saying that just to be agreeable. (Come on, with all my acquaintances in the biz, have I ever resorted to hyperbole? No, never.)
How was the staff?
Well, there are a couple familiar faces up in here, all right. What can I say? I thought they were great. But I know, I know, easy for me to say, rolling PX all night long through this muhfuh.
How’s this— I’m more than willing to bet they don’t suck in general.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Fritto misto : Very good. Dude, paper-thin vegetable slices that are then lightly battered and quickly deep-fried, along with fresh, tender, and crisp calamari? Exceptional.
Porchetta : Uhh, no seriously. Somebody is having a ball with the super duper professional meat slicer they must have stashed away in the basement prep area somewhere. You can practically see through this meat. Pretty perfect.
Tagliata and arugula salad : Excellent. Perfectly cooked and succulent steak. Great simple traditional arugula and grape tomato presentation. So good, you can’t believe it’s carb-free.
Papardelle with salsiccia: Saved the best description for last. Uh muh gah, sooo delicious. Again— paper-thin papardelle! Okay, call me crazy, but they can’t possibly be sliding the homemade pasta through that hi-fi slicer gadget too, can they?! No really, how the heck do you make a papardelle this thin and light? Is that a stupid question, I don’t know, I’m not a chef. But, I do know I have never ever ever loved a papardelle this much (I’m a capellini girl, what can I tell ya). The sausage too, is perfectly executed, hearty and rich, but not greasy in any way. And that aroma is mouth-watering. Fine, maybe it’s touch of truffle oil, so shoot them. Plus a bit of mushroom and garlic and, aye…! [Lift hand, turn palm upward, wave in circular motion.] Yup, that about says it all.
Would I travel all the way to the UES for this? I am solemnly starting to consider it.
What did you like?
The food was really very good.
What did you dislike?
The UES? Rilly?
What was your last impression?
Honestly? That goodfella looking dude in that banquette yonder is totally sweating me. Hey, you asked.
Would you come back?
Maybe next week? (DeLucie’s Crown is next, and that’s just a couple blocks over.)
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, it was a pleasure.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Ooh, snazzy. Bienvenidos a Las Vegas.
[Also: Where the fuh-? The googles tells you the address is 346 W 17th, but the entrance is really on 16th St, right next door to The Maritime.]
Please rate the Bar:
Pretty good. Also snazzy. The stools aren’t too comfortable, however, and the very frigid air conditioner blows right in your face. The lounge might be a better option; it’s spacious, commodious, and those massive silver sofas are way more welcoming to your derriere. (There’s another bar upstairs by the pool, but it’s standing room only. And the tables are "for guests of the hotel only," wink wink.)
The bartenders are amiable enough and perfectly proficient (read: Better than Lavo).
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Typical, pretty much what you’d expect— except for maybe the price, which is decidedly un-Strategic Group in its noteworthy reasonable-ness. Recessions, what are they good for? Lower-priced booze, that’s what. Good robust glassware and healthy-ish portions.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s uh… snazzy. And big.
Please rate the BOH:
Better than you’d expect. I mean, granted, I don’t know much abot that Top Chef dude, but I don’t exactly eat at Avenue (or Tao or Lavo) if you get what I’m saying. Kinda expensive, though! Bring your corporate card— ya know, if your company still lets you do that sort of thing, that is.
How was the staff?
Haa, well, they’re very experienced/competent all right! You might catch a familiar face or two up in there…
And from what I gather, they like it here. A happy server is a pleasant server.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Yellowfin Tuna Tartare : Good. Fresh. Nice little twist on a classic.
Peekytoe Crabcakes : Very good. Tender and tasty. Nicely done.
Raw oysters : Excellent. Very fresh and expertly shucked. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a butchered oyster. Impressive.
Carne Asada : Outstanding. Perfectly cooked, succulent, juicy, and flavorful. This "chef’s specialty" is a winner for sure.
Wild mushrooms : Great. Hearty and delicious. Pretty big portion too.
Creamed spinach : Mmm, delectable. Nothing wrong with this dish.
What did you like?
The food was good.
What did you dislike?
Well, overall, it’s not really my stilo. I’m sure the bankers and the steno pool (what’s left of them) love it, though.
What was your last impression?
Umm, I’m sorta surprised the hotel went with the circular motif on the facade? It almost looks like it’s just the newest attachment to the Maritime next door.
Would you come back?
Wellll, it’s not exactly in my neighborhood…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was yummy.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a friend of theirs who’d visited Panarea the summer prior.
What was your first impression?
Ho-lee cow. Is this the most beautiful restaurant I’ve ever seen in my life? Could be.
Please rate the Bar:
It’s nice. Very hip. But quite frankly, to opt for the bar over the lounge and turn your back on these incredible views, you’d really have to be kind of out of your mind.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The wine list is decent, and more diverse than you’d expect in a rather remote place like this. But it’s really expensive, of course.
Sorry, forgot to note anything about the cocktails, but I’m sure they’re expensive too. But what was it I’d said about the place in Salina with the other amazing view? Oh right, "with an ambience like this, I might very well have been quite happy drinking hooch and Boone’s Farm." Yea, that.
Please rate the Dining Room:
There are a few, and they’re all gorgeous, but closest to the fresh air is best. (After the sun goes down though, the view ceases to matter as much; it’s nothing but pitch out there.)
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Far better than I’d expected, cuz the gratutitous lounge snacks really sucked. They should really rethink those— they’d fare much better with simple nuts and crackers than the bad crostini, the breadsticks that go stale, and the sad wilted fruit on a skewer. Less prep time, too. (Oh crap, I hate when I give out too much free advice, dammit!)
The food in the dining room’s good though, but really really expensive (€35.00 for an appetizer, hello). Plus they seem to run out of the more popular items pretty quickly.
How was the staff?
Great. They were very sweet and accommodating. Ha ha haa, you won’t even believe it, but our waitress used to work here in New York City— for a restaurateur in our party. How CRAZY is that.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Amberjack fresh from the sea : Delicious, perfect. Better than Blue Ribbon, which is a good thing cuz it’s double the price of Blue Ribbon, too. I mean, yes, that’s the sea yonder a stone’s-throw away, but oh forget it never mind. (By the way, I’d originally wanted the lobster and avocado— yah, at €35— but they were 86ed. Just sayin.)
Grilled squid : Decent. Could have been just a tad more tender, but fresh and tasty.
Pasta (with melanzane e funghi, was it? I forget now) : It was okay. But shut up, who cares? Come on, you can get food anywhere…
Biscotti e malvasia : This is my favorite new thing. How am I going to live without Malvasia now?
Nobody else let me try their dishes : Can you believe it. Maybe they figured the food’s so expensive, they’d better hoard every last bite.
What did you like?
This place is like paradise.
What did you dislike?
That it’s so far away from home :(
What was your last impression?
Seriously, how fucking cool am I right now. I’m not even sure how I got here.
Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
‘Piacere. Buona giornata, grazie e arrivederci.
More photographs of Panarea, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a concierge at the Grand Hotel Timeo in Taormina, Sicily (and again by a taxicab driver in Malfa, Salina).
What was your first impression?
Cute. Love it.
Please rate the Bar:
Come to think of it, I’m not finding many bars in Italy at all— do they have such a thing? Cuz I mean like technically, if you go to Ristorante Alfredo in Cucina, then the entire Da Alfredo (in the front) is actually considered their "bar."
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Uh, N/A? From what I gather, wine and spirits just aint the thing around here. When people come to Alfredo, they drink granite, period end of story. And I must admit, that stuff is gooood.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Oh it’s pretty cramped and haphazard and sorta butt-assed ugly. But who the heck cares, when you have that view.
Please rate the BOH:
It’s perfectly decent at making their specialty, which is pane cunzato. But again, I get the distinct impression it’s the granite that really matters.
How was the staff?
Proficient and amiable. What more do you need?
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Pane Cunzato con tonno : Good. Nice fresh tasty ingredients, but personally I find the pane part a wee too rustic (i.e. thick). Like I mean for example, if a chef decided to make this dish in New York, it’d probably be with a much finer more delicate "crust," and then that‘d be the ticket.
Pane Cunzato con ricotta infornata : Yea, see above.
Pane Cunzato con melanzane : Eh, probably my least favorite.
Pane Cunzato con pomodoro e acciughe : Pretty good, hearty flavors.
Pane Cunzato con mozzarella e pomodoro : Nice and simple. I like this one best of all.
Almond, chocolate, white fig, peach, strawberry, and cafe granite : All pretty damned yummy, with the white fig, almond, and peach (in that order) being the greatest standouts. So fresh and unadulterated. But the cafe granita was the least appealing.
What did you like?
Mmmm… graniiita…
What did you dislike?
Oi, too much bread, I can’t breathe.
What was your last impression?
Seriously, how fucking cool am I right now. I’m not even sure how I got here.
Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
‘Piacere. Buona giornata, grazie e arrivederci.
More photographs of Da Alfredo, Salina-Lingua, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a friend who’d visited the Aeolian Islands the summer prior.
What was your first impression?
Wow. Holy cow.
Please rate the Bar:
N/A? If there’s a bar, I didn’t see one. But they do have an extraordinary outdoor patio/lounge overlooking the Tyrrhenian Sea that’s "for drinks and dessert only." In which case, who needs an effin bar?
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Opted for wine (a Chardonnay I didn’t choose, which was very good) so I have no idea about the cocktails, sorry. But quite frankly, with an ambience like this, I might very well have been quite happy drinking hooch and Boone’s Farm, I’m not sure.
Oh okay, on a more serious note, my friend’s Campari and soda looked appealing, respectable, and refreshing— and it had a beautiful fresh orange slice in it. So I’m willing to bet the majority of their cocktails really don’t suck at all.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Beautiful. Rustic yet incredibly elegant. And again, that view…
Please rate the BOH:
Outstanding. Really truly excellent, no exaggeration.
As a person of my — ahem — "noted" expertise, I am often asked where I’ve had the most phenomenal dining experience. Well, now I finally have an answer I needn’t think that hard about nor elaborate with justifications and explanations. Ha ha ha ahah, I can’t wait to tell the next person that inquires that one of my favoritest restaurants everrr is in Malfa on Salina the Aeolian Island in the Tyrrhenian Sea just off the coast of Sicily ("you muuust go by boat, dahling"). It sounds even more awesomely pretentious than "al Moro in Rome."
How was the staff?
Wonderful. Very congenial and accommodating, especially considering we arrived without a reservation (it soon became much more crowded than the photos would suggest).
In all honesty, the waiter seemed a bit agitated at first when he mistakenly thought our (large-ish) party was going to skip appetizers, but he got a lot more amicable when the food and wine orders started rolling in heartily.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Raw fish ("cruditá") fresh from the sea : Amazing. Without a doubt the best I’ve had in my whole entire life. The shrimp especially was of a buttery texture and flavor that’s damned near indescribable. I am not kidding when I say I feel like I’ve had some kind of crudo epiphany. If seafood is shipped in from eh-nee-where, it will never ever ever ever EVER taste like this.
Grilled octopus : You know that pretty general perception that if an octopus is fully grown or older or whatever (as opposed to the cute whole little babies), then it’s inevitably going to be a bit firm (i.e. "tough," i.e. "chewy")? Well, that’s a straight-up LIE, evidently. Cuz this one was as tender, succulent, and tasty as a cute little baby octopus’s ass. So now that’s two epiphanies.
Some kind of tiny ravioli-like pasta, the name of which I can’t recall, with something "pork ragu" and fresh tomato : Omylord, so delicious. And I really looove how the portion size was just exactly perfect and sufficient (for a late-night pasta dinner the evening before you have to don a bikini early the very next day). This is how Italians (in Italy) stay so slim.
Panna cotta : Oi. I’m generally not a dessert person, but I ate the whole thing. Just the right amount of dolce with a consistency like gelatinous air.
Biscotti and Malvasia : Somebody call my moms cuz I musta died and gone to heaven.
What did you like?
Are you kidding?
What did you dislike?
It’s a helluva trip to get back here.
What was your last impression?
Can this place possibly really exist?
Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Buona notte, grazie mille. Che bellissima sorpresa.
More photographs of Signum, Salina-Malfa, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
It came very highly recommended by a friend who visits Rome frequently (so frequently in fact, he has an "apartment" at Hotel Eden).
What was your first impression?
Oh boy. Despite its "casual" atmosphere, it’s a bit intimidating. The entrance is unassuming, but as soon as the door opens everybody in the dining room is immediately distracted by your arrival. And a lot of the gentlemen are in jackets.
Also, the host is just a tad unnerving.
Please rate the Bar:
I was so busy trying to maintain my comportment at all the sudden unexpected scrutiny, I didn’t even notice if there’s a bar. My bad!
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Ha ha ah haa, the wine list is like a bible; it’s huge. I’ve never been so glad to have what little wine knowledge I possess. My waiter was apparently charmed by my sagacious selection (a Friulano Vermentino). Whew! I’m in.
Please rate the Dining Room:
There are several; the restaurant is split into three (or four?) separate rooms.
Please rate the BOH:
Excellent.
Okay seriously now, I have dined in Italy before— in Milan, Taormina, and Lake Como. And sorry, but the experiences had me sorta wondering how Italian cusine came to be so internationally renowned. Don’t get me wrong, I have had (albeit rarely) some really truly superb Italian food all right— in New York— where the chefs were all very highly trained and often implemented techniques / incorporated ingredients that can hardly be described as "traditional" homemade Italian.
Well, I finally feel like I’ve discovered what all the fuss is about. Al Moro’s food is very simple and the preparation quite rustic, but it was undoubtedly one of the best meals I’ve ever had in my life.
How was the staff?
Once they’ve recognized a true appreciator of fine food and wine, they’re like putty in your hands. Before then, they kinda have a way of making you, the obvious foreigner, feel a bit like an interloper. [Think La Esquina or Boom Boom, only without the doorman, the DJ, and all the young Americans.]
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Antipasto misto : Was unbelievably fresh and tasty enough to have you wondering where the hell all the smoked meats you’ve ever tasted in your life have been stored (and for how long) before they’d ever reached your plate. An old gym locker inside an Egyptian pyramid maybe.
Acciughe with some Italian description I didn’t quite understand nor do I remember : But it was marinated in the "traditional" way and served with toasted bread and butter. Oi, no words can describe. This is why Italians just wave a hand in the air in circles, palm turned upward at about a 45 degree angle. Try it. Yea, that pretty much sums it up as befittingly as possible.
Melanzane Parmigiana : What can I say; I simply couldn’t resist. Also, see above appraisal.
Bucatini with salsicci e funghi : Oh my. Yea yea see above.
Wild strawberries with zabaglione : Uh, I think you get the picture by now, yes?
What did you like?
Everything.
What did you dislike?
That thirty seconds of scariness in the very beginning? It was like a scene out of an old mob movie.
What was your last impression?
Even the chef came out of the kitchen to check out "the Americans." Heee.
Would you come back?
Oh hells yeah.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Grazie mille, arriverderci.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me- The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
Vine Street Cafe (Shelter Island)
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
A two-time Manhattan restaurateur (and local resident) recommended it as "the best of four decent restaurants on Shelter Island." So there you have it.
What was your first impression?
Cute. Very beach-towny all right. And: damn, it’s crowded.
Please rate the Bar:
OK. On the smallish side; not quite so accommodating and pretty cramped. The bartenders are rather harried subsequently.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
No idea. It’s so busy in here, I can’t be dicked to ask/wait for a cocktail and/or wine list. "I’ll take a bottle of… uh… riesling? Cool."
Please rate the Dining Room:
Seems large? There appear to be several different rooms, but again, not the type of place to take an unguided tour if you’re not trying to get smacked upside the head with a serving tray. Also, diners generally appreciate not having errant asses near their faces while they’re eating.
Please rate the BOH:
Pretty good. Fine, rather eclectic menu, if not exactly adventurous. My host has one suggestion, though: "Steer clear of the pasta dishes, but the fish and meat are great."
How was the staff?
Eh. But you know, these places usually have seasonal "temps," so there goes the job-longevity incentive. To be fair, the order came out correctly, and nothing got spilled?
Oh and here’s a tip: the steak comes with fries, so don’t bother ordering a side of it. You’re welcome— cuz lord knows your waiter wasn’t about to clue you in on that one.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Ahi tuna sashimi : Very good, fresh, tasty. Generous portions.
Crispy calamari salad : Decent. Flavorful, nice crisp calamari for good contrasting textures. Granted, it’s hardly mind-blowing, but come on now.
Rainbow "ceviche" : It’s in "quotes" cuz it’s not really traditional ceviche, you see. Odd "market" mishmosh of fishes, but whatever. It’s fine.
Miso-glazed salmon : Fresh, tender, and succulent. Boo, it’s a wee more medium than the medium-rare "the chef recommends," but yay, the miso glaze is pretty delicious.
NY strip steak : Fine. Perfectly cooked. And the fries are good. All three orders of them.
Grilled asparagus : Very good. Farm fresh and well-prepared.
What did you like?
The food’s pretty good.
What did you dislike?
Oh who cares? It’s a beautiful summer weekend on Shelter Island.
What was your last impression?
Yay, it’s a beautiful summer weekend on Shelter Island!
Would you come back?
Sure.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, and have a good night.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Two friends from the industry recommended it. Women, no less— who are not even into sports. They’re very discerning; they’ve tried nearly every restaurant in their (West Village) neighborhood. (One works for Gottino, the other for Jeffrey’s Grocery.)
What was your first impression?
I’ve seen this space in nearly every carnation it’s been the last decade or so, and the layout never changes much. This one is no exception. I think they kept Charles’s wallpaper.
Please rate the Bar:
Same ole. Still pretty small. Still not so comfortable nor particularly accommodating.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The ambience doesn’t exactly inspire a wine hankering, so I totally forgot to even look at the list. Oopsie! Sorry. Also, I got so intrigued by the Happy Hour 1/2 priced cocktails, I forgot to look at the beer list too. OK, shoot me, sheesh!
Out of about a half-dozen (fairly-classic-with-a-bit-of-a-twist) selections, I opted for the margarita-esque one and the punchy vodka one. And they weren’t bad. The punchy one is very sweet, though.
Please rate the Dining Room:
The banquettes are nice and cozy. The rest of it is a wee haphazard and just a tad cramped.
Please rate the BOH:
Better than you’d expect. (Those women were right!)
Reminds me very much of chef Ian Russo‘s old work at Thunder Jackson’s. Actually, I meant to ask the waitress who’s the chef, but then I forgot (I was busy enjoying the burger!).
How was the staff?
Ovarall, satisfactory. Except the busboy; he was exceptionally conscientious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Fried peperoncini : Wow, different. Battered and fried pickled peppers; very smart bar food, all right. Careful though— you know that vinegary fluid that often gets trapped inside the peppers when you pull them out of the jar? Well, evidently, when that stuff gets deep-fried, it becomes really hot (as in temperature, not spiciness). And it retains that heat a good long while. Don’t burn yourself [quite frankly, the whole thing is one little ole lady short a potentially painful lawsuit]. Personally, I loved them.
Tuna tartare : OK. Fresh and light, but just a bit of overkill on the soy sauce. Sort of disappointing; my friend from Jeffrey’s Grocery had raved about this dish.
Truffle grilled cheese : Decadent and delicious, but a little more gooey cheese would really have made this sandwich lay-awake-at-night crave-worthy.
Burger with Monterey Jack : Ohh, yeah. You know that way overhyped supposedly just-like-your-backyard Shake Shack burger on the squishy grocery bun? Well, this is what it’s supposed to taste like. Ya know, like if they used fresh red onions, non-anemic tomatoes, and actually cooked it properly at your desired temperature. Minus the irritating 45-minute wait in the blistering summer sun, that is.
Red velvet cake in a glass : Eh. Skip it. Way too much (and kind of bland) frosting; dry, boring, cake smushed in between.
What did you like?
The food’s pretty good.
What did you dislike?
Sports? Rilly?
What was your last impression?
Oh damn, I forgot to ask about the (consulting?) chef. Ah well, next time.
Would you come back?
I think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was delicious.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
I must admit, despite Cafe Gitane being a downtown institution, I’ve never had a meal here. I’ve dropped by, met friends, picked up friends, had drinks, and have even loitered at an outdoor table with a paper, a cigarette, and a cup of cafe creme— but never have I actually breakfasted, lunched, or dined.
Well, today I’m in the neighborhood, and my guest and I are hungry…
What was your first impression?
Ah, same ole Gitane…
Please rate the Bar:
Kinda N/A; it’s more like a lunch counter.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Beer and wine only, and a pretty sparse (but discerning enough) selection at that. Reasonably priced— but of course, that’s why it’s an institution.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s fine. Distinctly European, no frills, a wee kitschy, and maybe a tad cramped. Apparently, the hipsters dig it.
Please rate the BOH:
Good. Just the (Mediterranean) basics mostly, but artfully executed and well prepared.
How was the staff?
Okay. Cute and kind of jaded, but proficient enough. I mean, what were you expecting exactly?
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Spicy olives and oranges : Nice. Nicely balanced contrast between the spice, salty olives, and sweet fresh orange slices.
Baked feta : Good. Robust. Intense; not for salt-haters.
Smoked trout salad : Love it. Light but hearty and flavorful. Great texures. Huge.
Smoked chicken on cranberry-nut bread : Very good. Ripe mango and arugula add a noteworthy zest.
What did you like?
That’s it’s still going strong after all this time.
What did you dislike?
Am I getting older and more curmudgeonly, or are the hipsters getting uglier and more pretentious?
What was your last impression?
I’m stuffed.
Would you come back?
Sure, in probably another decade or so…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks! Have a nice day!
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
It was recommended by a friend whose opinion I value highly.
What was your first impression?
Oh wow, it really is tiny!
Please rate the Bar:
N/A. This place could very well be classified as a glorified takeout joint. There are maybe 18 or 19 seats in the whole place, which is actually kind of astounding considering how very small it is.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
They only have a few wine selections and not much else. They’re not bad— decent, drinkable and reasonably priced.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Like I said, impressive for what it is. But be prepared to share your conversation with your neighbors. Better yet, see if you can score the lone outdoor deuce; the view up and down Houston St can be pretty entertaining in that fishbowl kind of way.
Please rate the BOH:
Solid. Pizza, some pasta, a few salads and a random special entree here and there. Nothing too fancy, but it’s certainly no Famiglia’s, ha ha ha.
How was the staff?
She’s great. She works really hard.
:)
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Tricolore salad : Nice. Simple but fresh and flavorful.
Pollanca salad : Wow, a meal in itself. The white raisins add a touch of sweetness, but it’s pretty hearty nonetheless. Great summer dish.
Squid ink linguine with shrimp : Very good. Just a touch of spice. So piping hot, the pasta is cooking the shrimp in front of me; next time I’ll ask for the shrimp very rare.
Homemade spaghetti with bolognese sauce : Good! Straightforward and artless, but tasty and perfectly stick-to-your-ribs satisfying.
Piccante pizza : Ohhh yeah, that’s the stuff right there. Great crisp and thin but bubbly crust. Quality ingredients— just plain yummy.
What did you like?
I admire the lack of pretension despite all its charm.
What did you dislike?
Nothing really. Oh OK, the bathroom is claustrophobic.
What was your last impression?
Sooo… Houston St is the new restaurant row?
Would you come back?
Actually, I already have.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it’s a pleasure.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
OK, let’s face it— MeKong is a downtown institution. I know lots and lots of people who make MeKong their home away from home, from way back when it was still at its original location on Prince St in NoLita (even before NoLita bcame so hip and commercial). It was just a matter of time before I made it (back) here.
What was your first impression?
Ah, same ole MeKong. The vibe and the crowd, I mean.
Please rate the Bar:
Not quite as big as the original, but still sizeable and accommodating. Just a simple, no fuss no muss watering hole. Please don’t feed the denizens (they don’t bite, but sometimes they drool a little).
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
For such a down-home kind of Asian restaurant, they’re pretty solidly stocked on the booze. Good reasonable prices (as usual). Personally, I opted for the $38 bottle of Les Domaniers by Domaine Ott rosé. (See what I mean?)
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s big. And cozy enough. But, come on— everybody knows the sidewalk is where it’s at.
Please rate the BOH:
Solid and consistent after all these decades. Just good no-frills Vietnamese home cooking. Admittedly, some dishes fare better than others; you’ll just have to come often enough (like most of their patrons) to pick your faves, and then stick with those.
How was the staff?
Surprisingly conscientious, actually. Friendly, adept, and unpretentious— what more do you need?
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Chicken salad : Light, fresh, and summery with nice spicy bite and a hearty vinegary twang. Delicious.
Shrimp rolls : Very good. Crisp and tasty.
Filet mignon au beurre : Excellent. Tender and succulent. A great satisfying dish.
Chicken pad thai : Classic. Huge! (Share it.)
Soft shell crab : Very good. Batter-dipped and fried, but not greasy. Nice quality.
Sauteed spinach : Just slightly more cooked than I would have preferred, but good. Also maybe a tad salty for some tastes, but I liked it.
What did you like?
♪ ♪ Memmmorrriiieeess….. ♪ ♪
What did you dislike?
Well OK, the outdoor metal tables and chairs are a little ghetto… but maybe that adds to the charm.
What was your last impression?
Oh look, it’s Famke Janssen.
Would you come back?
Siempre, mang, siempre.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, Brian— It’s great to see you. You’re a legend, dude.
= "personne extraordinaire"