Word of Mouth: Lotus of Siam – now CLOSED

January 4th, 2012 by The House



We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the “word of mouth” on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good “word of mouth” is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !


Lotus of Siam (New York)

What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
It has an excellent reputation but if I’m not mistaken, it was entirely prix fixe when it first opened. And I hate that.
But recently I’d heard it changed to à la carte, so then I was intrigued. Voilà, here I am.

What was your first impression?
Eh, pass. I was here when it was Cru, and I was here when it was— what was it again? —the other kinda stuffy overwrought place before that. Hasn’t changed all that much over its several incarnations. So there wasn’t a whole lot to create a new “first impression.”

Please rate the Bar:
It’s the same. But the comfy plush bar seats are gone, replaced by what’s essentially wooden slabs on stilts. Boo.
But whatever, I’ll live. At least the bartender is amicable.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Pretty good wine list (particularly for an Asian restaurant), skewing toward the German, Alsatian, Austrian region to complement the primarily spicy/sweet-ish food. The cocktail list also looks good, with fresh ingredients to enhance its exotic take on classics. I opted for wine though— which does lean a wee toward the expensive side, by the way (just a heads-up).

Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s okay, not great. Bear in mind that aside from like, Japan and umm, Shanghai maybe— Asians aren’t exactly the most aesthetic bunch. Functionality usually tops form every time, as in e.g. Chinatown and Little Korea, if you hear what I’m sayin. Unfortunately, this aint Chinatown; it’s Fifth Avenue, bitches! So alls I can say (yea, again) to elaborate is: Hire a decorator to come in here quick, cuz… damn.

Please rate the BOH:
Oh man, thank gawd for this BOH. In short: one bite and you’re all “ugly dining room? what ugly dining room?” Yup, the food is so good you’ll go blind.

How was the staff?
They’re nice. I think they’re leftover from the last place too.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Chicken wings (not the panko, the Amish ones) : Good. A little anemic though; that means they’re organic or “free-range” or whatever, right? I mean, they’re not all big and plump and hopped up on steroids like… well, you get the picture.
Mushroom and peppers “dip” : Woo, child; I have died and gone to spicy heaven. Warning: This dish is not messin around.
Diced raw tuna :
Delicious. Super fresh and so flavorful.
The “most popular in Bangkok” green curry (with pork) : Oh, YES. [Sorry, forgot to take descriptive notes, too busy licking plate.]
Braised Shortrib Penang : Very good. Rich and delectable. Too bad the shortrib isn’t quiiite the slow-cooked fork-tender type you might expect, though. But the sauce is pretty incredible.
Sauteed bok choy : Good, perfect.
The chocolate cake, tha tapioca pearl dessert, and one other one I can’t exactly recall now: But they were all exceptional. Yes, especially for an Asian restaurant. No, really.

What did you like?
The food is quite excellent.

What did you dislike?
Umm, the potted plant in the far doorway at the other side of the bar? What is up with that thing? It’s just silly is all.

What was your last impression?
I’m so happy. It feels like forever since I’ve found a place with food I really like. (P.S. Great menu!)

Would you come back?
Well, it’s not far from where I live and the food is fantastic so, hells yeah. And now with winter here? I might just move in.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Totes. Later!



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Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com



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