• Which (somewhat deluded) renowned restaurant group that recently found itself the target of a class-action wage-dispute lawsuit, is soon to come under fire again? This time the charge is sexual harassment, the details of which are forthcoming shortly. Unfortunately, it could be right around the time the alleged defendant is vacationing with his wife. (Quick, hide the newspapers.)
Well, you know what they say: Misery loves company. Now all they have to do is follow the leader.
• Which TriBeCa saloonkeeper’s recent brush with the law is hampering his liquor license application? Anyone know a good (fast) consulting "chef"?
"Restaurant" Needs Recipe for Crudité, Jell-O. Please Contact ASAP.
• Which West Village commercial landlord is spinning his wheels waiting for the rent check to arrive in the mail? Sorry, buddy— but the restaurant space your tenant recently "closed for renovations" isn’t reopening anytime soon, duh. Your former tenant has already spent all your rent money on his next venture elsewhere.
OK yea, so by now I’m suuure you’ve heard all about how stupid Miss Philippines totally blew her chances at the Miss Universe crown, by being such a dumbass.
Well, the only thing I can add to the continual running commentary currently pervading every single Puertochino household, clique, Nurses’ Lounge, and JollyBee, is this —>
Ha ha ha aha haah.
Get over it, homies. She was probably just a drag queen anyways.
Happy Friday!
:)
** With special thanks to Rachel Dagdagan
• Which "scoop" are we dying to disclose, but our Head Editor won’t let us (lest it alter the course of destiny)? Well, we’ll just sit back and wait for the story to play itself out. If history is any indication, it should be soon— and quite entertaining.
• Which law-breaking restaurateur is currently talking out of his ass? In a very thinly-veiled attempt at saving face (and business), he’s underplaying the severity of his organization’s latest situation. The simple, basic (and legal) truth is: they have far, far, far less options than they publicly assert. Despite ample precedents (and the law), some people never learn. But they soon will! The hard way.
• Which well-known restaurateur was so burned by a past endeavor, he’s currently "slave-driving" his newest chef? In spite of the chef’s resentment, however, relations remain ostensibly congenial. The chef isn’t willing to lose face any more than the restaurateur; job offers are slim out there. Just ask the predecessor.
Finally! Yay!
The Amazon page is currently under construction (and God only knows how long that’s going to take to complete), but PX This – The Revised Edition is finally available for sale in the medium of dead trees. Hooray!
Now, before you go criticizing the insanely exorbitant price tag of $29.99, please bear in mind:
a) Neither Abbe Diaz, Pee Ex This Dot Com, nor any of its subsidiaries/affiliates have any control over said price tag. It was calculated by the publisher and printer, based entirely on page count.
b) The price is a reflection of the print version’s "short run" process. This means, unlike in "traditional" publishing, PX This is printed, distributed, and sold in small batches, contrary to the (previously) conventional practice of mass printing books in the thousands, tens-of-thousands, or hundreds-of-thousands of units and dispersing them widely, nationally or internationally, just so said units can eventually end up on bookstores’ forlorn discount tables at 90% off the "suggested retail price."
In other words, yes, you are paying out the wazoo for the print version of PX This – The Revised Edition so you can save trees— and thus subsequently, the world.
The trees and the world thank you. And likewise, so do we.
c) In an effort to offset this insanely exorbitant price tag, PX This – The Revised Edition is currently being offered for FREE in a digitized e-book Portable Document Format. The PDF is compatible with iPad (with GoodReader), Kindle2+, any Mac/PC, or netbook.
What’s the catch, you ask? No catch. Just iterating the deducible obvious: PX This is not in it for the benjamins, homeslice. We’re fucking artists, goddammit!
d) Eventually, PX This – The Revised Edition (and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This) will be available via Amazon’s Kindle Store and Apple’s iBookstore as well— as soon as either or both realize it is an author’s inherent right to publish an e-book in the font style of his/her choice.
Sure, go ahead and argue if you want, you indignant fascist font anal control freak— but would daVinci allow a museum to exhibit the Mona Lisa with purple hair?! We think NOT. (Also, e.e.cummings is sooo rolling over in his grave right now over this shit, bitches. Shame on you! For shame, for shame.)
In any case, we anticipate the price of those e-versions will be $8.00 — a reflection of the current cost of e-conversion, the gray hairs and wrinkles accrued from fighting the good fight, and the percentage share for Apple/Amazon who, ya know, could both really use the money, evidently.
The PDF version will remain free of charge— yeah, not so jazzed about the funky "page-turning" and the font choices now, are ya?
** PX This is also proud to present, by popular demand, The Ministry of Speed © by Abbe Diaz (as referenced in PX This) for your curiosity and/or reading pleasure. **
Thank you for your kind encouragement and continuing support.
but if you’re really bored, feel free to entertain yourself by familiarizing yourself with some of pee ex this dot com’s history before you read PX This Too (the Sequel to PX This).
look— you can start here! and then just keep following all the links backward until you can’t stand it anymore. it’ll be oodles of fun!
oh and by the way, PX This Too is going to be a bit behind schedule. obviously the printed (and official Kindle and iBook, etc) version[s] of the Revised Edition are running late and so that kinda pushes the whole rest of the mess back too.
thank you.
:)
** See also (earlier): The Dog Ate My Homework
Vanilla Ice: … And so, your little quote in New York magazine a couple weeks back inspired me to take you for a stroll through the mall…
abbe diaz: sigh. so sad, isn’t it? we’re all getting old…
VI: Have you seen it yet?
ad: not yet— so i appreciate the photos.
VI: And? So? Whattya think?
ad: well i did walk by on the 20th street side last week prior to the opening on friday, and i noticed what was once the former "employee entrance" is still under construction. that particular little entry foyer led up the stairs the back way to the bathrooms, and on the ground level leading off to the left side of the stairs used to be "chapel." so it would appear they’re still doing construction and aren’t quite utilizing the entire space. and that perhaps would explain why your photos make the space look so much smaller than i remember it.
anyway, it’s not like the renderings or the snazzy PR pics i’ve seen. all those looked so swanky and flashy, but this just looks kinda tacky.
VI: Oh, yeah. Having seen it with my own two eyes, I’d say "tacky" is an apt description… Does it even look familiar to you?
ad: well the overall basic structure is discernible, obviously— but i’m having a little difficulty making out which direction you’re facing. if i’m not mistaken, the arched stained glass would be the stage side of the main level aka "disco" and the big round stained glass would be the opposite end, which would have been directly behind "disco bar."
and evidently, they extended the widths of the mezzanine walkways…
VI: What do you think of the concept overall?
ad: well, from a purely practical and objective standpoint, i suppose it’s something of an astute way to generate income from a building that’s essentially obsolete otherwise. clearly, the city’s current (and likely, future) administrations would never have allowed another Limelight to exist in any way reminiscent of its former incarnation. i can’t exactly say i’m against resurrecting the space in a viably profitable way, but it’s really a shame they made no effort at all with this new venture to embody the former spirit of such a legendary entity.
the city is awash with talented (but struggling) artists, artisans, and craftsmen. to turn over the space to pretentious jellybeans and chocolate is something of a travesty.
VI: Oh, snap! They had Hunter® wellies and flipflops, too— if that’s any consolation?
ad: ha ahaa, hardly. oh but don’t mind me— i’m maybe just having bitter flashbacks or something. i mean—
MarieBelle chocolate? ugh christ. (oh haa christ… Limelight… no uhh pun intended.)
i guess what i’m trying to say is, maybe this is all striking just a little too close to home for me or something. cuz like— MarieBelle is owned/operated by maribel-lieberman, the wife of jacques-lieberman, my former commercial landlord when i once had a flagship boutique for geld-iaz. as you may or may not know, MarieBelle’s (first) store is located at 484 Broome St— all the (five) ground floor commercial spaces of which are owned by jacques-lieberman.
if it weren’t for this convenient little arrangement to which MarieBelle is uniquely privy, i’d imagine you’d be rather hard pressed to find an artisanal chocolatier who could succeed in a space with a current market value in probably the $30K+ per month range. you see my point?
i’m just sayin.
but i think what’s pissing me off even more, is that the new MarieBelle in the Limelight appears to be located in the mezzanine over what would have been "disco bar." it’s that very same mezzanine under which were once installed large spotlights to help illuminate the bar and dance floor. well, one night during work while i was bartending, one of those spotlights came loose from all the bouncing around and stomping up there, and fell down directly over me, bonking me right on the noggin. huey-morgan (currently of Fun Lovin’ Criminals) was my barback at the time, and even he couldn’t believe i didn’t pass out from the accident. i ended up with a mild concussion and aches in my neck and back for a week.
ha ha ahaa so ya know— fuck those chocolates.
VI: LOL! Huh, I think there may even be "a moral in there someplace." ‘Nuff said. Aaaand, that’s a wrap!
ad: good. i love a short interview.
What is this "dialogue" of which you speak?
Sure, he probably didn’t exactly mean to address the F&B industry when he used the phrase "dialogue of the deaf," but Sir Salman Rushdie has a message for you anyway.
(Or, y’know— apply it to the world too, if you must.)
"Writers are very obstinate creatures, and they don’t respond well to being to told to shut up, they tend to speak more loudly when told to shut up… we can rely on [them] to resist that intimidation…" – Sir Salman Rushdie, BBC World News
*See also (earlier): OMG SALMAN RUSHDIE IS MY "FAN"
SHALL WE PLAY A GAME ?
In honor of the just-released e-book (and the soon-to-be-released print version) of PX This – The Revised Edition and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This, let’s see if you’re knowledgeable enough to play Where Are They Now?
Winners will receive a FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition and an affectionate pat on the ass. Answers will be displayed at the bottom of this page (hey, no peeking!). If your answers are ‘close enough,’ click here to collect your e-book prize immediately! Yay! Just kidding about the pat on the ass, sorry.
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to correctly identify the current whereabouts of some of the ‘characters’ in PX This. As always, should any member of the F&B force be caught or killed, pee ex this dot com will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This web page will not self-destruct, but shall remain in the cosmos internets from now until the end of the world. Good luck.
Where Are They Now?
• eric-goode and sean-macpherson
• brian-mcnally
• "emil the maiterdee"
• "kamil the maiterdee"
• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*
• Ferret
• "philippe the GM"
• "johnny the floor manager"
• marc-bagutta
• maxwell
• "laurent the GM"
• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee"
• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll
• Loser
[Scroll down for the answers.]
• eric-goode and sean-macpherson:
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where they are? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! Eric Goode is also loving on the turtles (go, Eric!) and Sean MacPherson is… around. No really, he’s everywhere. Check over your left shoulder; he might be there right now.
• brian-mcnally:
Uggh. Let’s not start this again, shall we?
• "emil the maiterdee":
Evidently, looking at The Fedora with Graydon Carter.
• "kamil the maiterdee":
Evidently, getting media attention just for falling down. Go, boy.
• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*:
The future Senator Affleck is out saving babies and the world, thank you very much. What the hell are you doing with your life, creep?
• Ferret:
Oh, "Ferret." "Ferret" finally gets a ‘real’ name in the upcoming PX This Too. You’ll be happy to hear that abbe and "Ferret" have… umm… kissed and made up. Hooray!
Actually, we really have no idea what "Ferret" is up to these days, since his awesome, adorable boss just got promoted to Superstar Banker of Deutsche Bank / Tyra Banks Yummy Man Candy. When you bump into "Ferret" out and about (and you will), just ask him yourself.
• "philippe the GM":
We love you, Philippe! That is all.
• "johnny the floor manager":
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where he is? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! We haven’t seen him lately though, because we can’t get past the doorman. Seriously.
• marc-bagutta:
Here. No further comment… until PX This Too of course.
:)
• maxwell:
Come on now.
• "laurent the GM":
After a brief stint as the GM on restaurant-based reality television show
Rocco’s, and then opening a restaurant of his own, Laurent can be found these days in a lovely place like this.
• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee":
Oh, just here.
• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll:
Rilly? Does anybody actually give a shit? We find that very hard to believe.
• Loser:
Ha ha ha ha wooo child. No further comment— what fun would that be? But, thanks for the new fans, homeslice! Godd bless the googles.
So, did you win, did you win?! Good for you, you smart little cookie, you. Get it, girl.
• omg! remember when i spotted kelly-killoren.bensimmon outside CafeSelect? look! here’s the outfit she was wearing— it was on last week’s episode of Real Housewives of NYC.
i recall thinking at the the time it was quite eye-catching, but since it was particularly sunny and warm that day, it seemed rather an odd choice for the weather.
and even though she walks southwardly away from CafeSelect at the end of scene, in real reality she must have gone back cuz by the time i saw her, there were no cameras around at all. and evidently they had already "finished filming."
• yah so word on the interwebs is "the boom boom" may be going "members only."
YAY!
• the renovation of iTreMerli on west broadway is almost finished! and it looks pretty smokin. they even have a wood! burning! oven!
you know what that means: pizza.
but— do you remember back in the day when iTreMerli was totally the jumpoff? wellll… this could be fun.
• yah so, apparently LosDados is closed. again.
:(
i’m just sayin.
Here is an awesome graphic display of 25 things you should and/or should not do on the subway. Look— it works for NYC, too!
This one in particular I didn’t quite understand at first. "Do it at the beach."
Do what at the beach? Stick yourself in the closing doors? But, then I realized: he’s "swimming," get it? Ha ha ha, "do it at the beach."
:)
Anyway, enjoy!
Bad manners are universal! Hooray.
*With special thanks to James "Milkman" Mielke
omg i just found my newest favorite website everrr!
actually, i’m not entirely sure what they do really— frankly they could simply blog "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" over and over and over again but it would still be my favorite website ever. just cuz of the title and "logo."
but now i’m scared cuz the last time i named my favorite blog everrr, they promptly turned idiotarded like practically overnight. also i’m deathly afraid these anonymous bloggers are just former gawker ignorassholes or some shit, looking for their next book deal, like This is Why You’re Stupid or Postcards From Your Asshole or whatever those bloggetty books are called. (it’s on tumblr, see. that’s the official gawker ignorasshole blog server— most likely cuz it’s free, and we alls know that despite all their arrogance and pretentiousness, gaaahwkers are actually broke as shit. i mean— if ShutUpFoodie is actually any good, i’ll give them the fucking $40 it takes to run a real website, for fuck’s sake.)
anyways. yah. it’s awesome.
i’m just sayin.
• Thursday, March 18, 2010. 2:30 PM – Everybody having lunch at Bar Pitti, enjoying the gorgeous day.
• Thursday, March 18, 2010. 11:30PM – Everybody at "The Boom Boom," enjoying the gorgeous night.
What are you doing here?! GO OUTSIDE.
:)
Coming to Madison Square Garden – June 25, 2010
Aack! Reserve your PX Package today!
:)
**See also (earlier): "…HOW DID I FORGET U KNOW MAXWELL…?!!!"
SHE’S BACK, BITCHES. That is all.
Listen to the newest single by Tracey Thorn, “Oh, The Divorces!” (and other tracks from artists of Strange Feeling Records).
Juliet Supper Club would like to announce it has forsaken BonBon Tuesdays (formerly hosted by Kenny Kenny and Susanne Bartsch) for… uh… hot angry lesbians?
Whatever! Get it, girl.
Starting TONIGHT…
**See also (earlier): "BonBon Tuesdays Now Defunct"
= "personne extraordinaire"