PX This.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[Continued from "My Week Off: Portofino / Camogli"]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About four or five.

What made you choose Paris for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez, continued on to Cap d’Antibes, Cap Ferrat, Monte Carlo, Portofino and Camogli. Rather than fly directly from New York to Paris to Nice in one trip, an overnight stay in Paris at the start seemed like a good idea.

And where did you stay?
At The Four Seasons George V. But only because I figured, "Why not?"
I’ve visited Paris numerous times and have already experienced most of the most popular choices— The Ritz Carlton, Plaza Athenee, Hotel Crillon, Hotel Costes, and Hotel Vendôme – Place Vendôme. And although Mama Shelter and Hotel Artus seemed like intriguing options, for a one night stay they would simply have been impractical for their distances from the "center" of Paris. So, that left Le Meurice and George V, and for the lack of substantial price disparity, George V won my decision due to their renowned reputation for superlative service.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Very good. Obviously, Four Seasons generally isn’t for everyone, as it does have a tendency toward pomposity or stuffiness. But the service certainly did live up to its stellar prestige. Even though we arrived a full five hours before official check-in time, they bent over backward to accommodate us and make us feel welcomed. Absolutely every person we encountered from the front desk to the dining room to room service was as warm, affable, and professional as could be. It’s not hard to see why for discerning travelers of a certain taste, George V ranks among the top in the world. (And believe me, the "five star" rating really has nothing to do with it— I’ve visited many a so-called "five star" before, only to be repulsed by glaring shortcomings.)

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Ha ha ha ahaa oh my lord. This one has got to be up there as a traveling glitch of a lifetime.

Yah so— okay, I knew I was spending one night in Paris. Well, I wanted to pick a nice restaurant for dinner, duh.
So I tried to do a little research beforehand, because I wanted to dine "like a hip and savvy local." I thought I found several that seemed alluring (Yam’Tcha, Thomieux, Frenchie, e.g.), but then a friend of friend who resides in Paris suggested something else.
Now, I never pick a restaurant based merely on what I’ve read. EVER. Come on, that would be like the antithesis of PX This. So, when this suggestion came via a resident of Paris, I assumed I was safely in the clear— of having to dine like some kind of oblivious, misinformed, rabid, incognizant, stupid lemming-like Foodie. Hah! As it turns out, the restaurant proposed to me was Le Chateaubriand— because it’s "hot." Ranked No.11 of "The World’s 50 Best Restaurants" no less!
Well, alls I can say is: ugh, christ. I don’t know whether it’s sad or comforting to know NYC doesn’t hold the monopoly on idiotarded "food press."

Also: I didn’t realize "hot" was meant literally, otherwise I surely would not have gone. It was about 100 degress in that restaurant (no exaggeration) and they have neither an air conditioner, ceiling fan, table top oscillator, or manual fucking palm frond. I can assure you its ranking amongst the "Best Restaurants in the World" is a brazen slap across the face to restaurateurs everywhere— particularly to those who are ignorant enough to spend hundreds of thousands (or millions) of dollars on ridiculous amenities and services that pander to the fruitless comfort of their patronage.

When we first arrived at 9PM (because I was told reservations are not accepted for "second seating, but you are allowed to wait") we were informed it’s "too early" and to "come back at 9:30" (despite our asking if we could order a drink and stand at the seatless bar instead). So we took a stroll around the block and returned at 9:25, only to find five full parties now ahead of us on line. (Yah, that’s right— there’s no host or waiting list or any door management of any kind). Were we not so far away from our hotel and not spent nearly €20.00 on cab fare to get here, we would have just left. But, we didn’t. Instead, we stayed and stood and sweated like animals. I’m not kidding. And it was of little consolation that all the English speaking tourists all around us (fresh from having plucked their noses off the internet) were sweating like hairy beasts too.

About an hour later, we finally sat down. (Evidently, the genius "first and second seating" system had the kitchen solidly slammed. Best restaurants! My ASS.) But whatever—
Fish, bean puree (that, actually, was pretty tasty— the best thing all night), fried fish, fish, fish, and pigeon. Yes, I said pigeon. Tough, cartilagey, gamey, flavorless, pedestrian, bloody, pigeon. (Oh, did I mention you don’t get to choose what you eat? They only make "one meal" a day. Mmhmmp, BEST restaurants! You stupid, overspending, budget-allocating, chef-indulging, micro-managing asshole, you!)
But that didn’t stop the customers at three tables surrounding me from snapping photographs of their food. Yes, that’s right, I’ve died and gone to Foodie-Blogger Hell.
On top of all that, the cheap rosé (from Spain?) by the glass gave me a splitting headache.

Okay, don’t get me wrong— was the food horrible? No, it wasn’t horrible. But it wasn’t extraordinary either— certainly nowhere near remotely deserving of a title that ranks it No.11 in the world. Top 50 Concepts ("highly trained chef wants to open inexpensive accessible restaurant blah blah blah") maybe, but Top 50 Restaurants? Oh, hells no.
By my (knowledgeable, insightful, sagacious) standards, it doesn’t even rate a recommendation to a local resident, much less one traveling from outside the country.

In short, yah— that was a disappointment.

Oh but— you wanna hear something kinda crazy?
On one of my nights in St Tropez, my hosts were invited to dine at a friend’s home, and so I got to tag along. Wow, it was one of the most gorgeous summer estates I’ve ever seen, and the owners were sweet, and kind, and gracious, and positively scintillating. Anyhoo—
as we’re sitting down to dinner, they inform us their live-in chef at their summer home was once a contestant on the very first season of Top Chef M6 (the French version of Bravo’s American Top Chef). Actually, what I could swear they said was "the winner" of Top Chef, but later when I googled Romain Tishcenko, I can’t exactly say for sure that was the guy I met that night, whose name I can’t remember, especially since I never got his surname. I mean, maybe it is (it’s possible), but I’m just not entirely sure.
In any case, he served a nice seasonal salad and penne with bottarga. It was pretty good!
Oh but my point is: apparently Romain Tischenko used to work guess where! Uh huh, Le Chateaubriand. I mean— is that kinda freaky or what. Imagine if I’d sat at the dinner table and recounted my Parisian escapade to all the Parisiennes? Ha ha aha hah ugh.
I did tell the chef however, that I know at least one American "top chef" very well, and then I invited him to visit NYC. Maybe he’ll come!

Any great standout experiences?
I did stop in for drinks at Bar228 at Le Meurice. That was nice, I suppose.
Oh but, be forewarned they have something of an exclusivity policy in case you ever decide to go. I mean— I was seated immediately (and so was the puppy right behind me), but then I overheard a party arriving five minutes later being told the tables "are all reserved." It’s probably a dress code and/or beautiful people thing.

The only other really great standout experience I want to mention was the flight itself!
I distinctly recall a couple years ago blogging about a trip to London or something, wherein I vehemently pronounced "British Airways sucks dick." And then I went on to rave my head off over Virgin Atlantic.
Well! I don’t know if British Airways heard me or what, but evidently they went and launched this "all business class" subsidiary airline called Open Skies. Open Skies kicks ass! They only have two sections, Business Bed and Business Seat— and both are extremely comfortable but cost far less than a regular business class seat on the other airlines I attempted to book. [Also, supposedly the food is by Michel Richard if you care about that sort of thing.] It was seriously awesome and made the flight just whizzzz by.
Whatever, I’m just saying.

How much did you blow all week?
Eh. Whatever it was, it was well worth it.

**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
• My Week Off: Monte Carlo
• My Week Off: Portofino / Camogli

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[Continued from "My Week Off: Monte Carlo"]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About four or five.

What made you choose Portofino for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez, continued on to Cap d’Antibes, Cap Ferrat, Monte Carlo, and then Portofino and Camogli…

And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera, Ligurian, and Amalfi Coasts as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Sigh. From here Black Sea travels onward to Corsica and Sardinia. Sadly, without me. Sob!

Any great standout experiences?
Uh, dude, I’m in Portofino! How much greater can it get?
But, okay— I must say the shopping is pretty terrific. Portofino has all the usual inveiglements (Dior, Vuitton, and Missoni… oh my!) but for some reason, everything is only about 2/3 the price of everywhere else in the world. And yah, that’s with taking the euro/dollar exchange rate into account, too. I’m not sure why exactly, but I surmise it may have something to do with a distinct dearth of wealthy shoppers frequenting Portofino (it’s not exactly 5th Ave or Place Vendôme, you see).

The other wonderful fortuitous thing was there just happened to be a live public concert taking place right on the port this evening. Pagliacci, no less! Yes, imagine sitting outdoors having dinner on the banks of Portofino being serenaded by the beautiful strains of the opera on this lovely balmy evening as the stars twinkle in the sky and the coastal breeze caresses your face. Waiter, un altro strega, per favore.

Speaking of dinner, it was at The Chuflay at Splendido Mare (but only because La Terrazza was already fully booked). And I must say it was fantastic. Undoubtedly the best meal all week, and on par with some of the most outstanding in my lifetime. The pasta service was especially impressive— Italian fine dining with a flair of French exhibition. Even the wine, Vie de Romans (Chardonnay from Friuli), turned out to be a great discovery for me at a very reasonable asking price. All in all, a truly flawless evening.

[For all the yachters out there however--- be forewarned. The Marina di Portofino, as amiable and welcoming to the vessels as they are, leave much to be desired in terms of basic services (particularly for the docking costs). Like water and electricity for example. I'm just saying.]

The following day was a short cruise to Camogli La Spiaggia, which had some of the most gorgeous swimming waters I’ve ever encountered.

How much did you blow all week?
Pssh. At this point, who cares?

**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
• My Week Off: Monte Carlo
• My Week Off: Paris

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[Continued from "My Week Off: Cap d'Antibes/Cap Ferrat"]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a businessman [and entrepreneur] with substantial financial interests in the F&B Industry.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
I try as best I can to get away, even if briefly, every eight to ten weeks. It doesn’t always work out that way.

What made you choose Monte Carlo for this vacation?
Actually, I was invited. I’ve been to Monaco before, so it probably wouldn’t have been my choice for this particular getaway. It ended up working out advantageously though, because I was able to meet with a potential business associate I’d previously met in NYC, who happens to have his primary residence in Monte Carlo.

And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Everything was as perfect as it could possibly be. ["The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels 'like an Ian Schrager hotel,' which is precisely the way I've heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I've witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes..."]

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
I probably should have made my business meeting shorter or planned it differently? But, that’s a whole other story…

Any great standout experiences?
Sadly, not really.
The overall experience of traveling aboard Black Sea is incredibly gratifying. Unfortunately, however, I can’t say this particular visit to Monte Carlo was equally remarkable. Aside from my meeting being ill-timed and ill-conceived, the dining experience for our one evening in Monte Carlo was a bit disappointing as well.

I’m not exactly sure where the recommendation originated, but it was initially suggested we dine at La Trattoria— a new Italian restaurant by Alain Ducasse, located at Le Sporting Monte-Carlo. As you might imagine, the concept of this alone, as an experienced NYC-based restaurateur, is somewhat amusing at best. Too bad we couldn’t get a reservation.

So, the next option on the list was Fuji, a "pop-up" version of its regular venue that takes up residence at Le Sporting Monte-Carlo during the summer months. Apparently, the staff is flown in from Japan right before the season starts, which would explain why they seem to be much more proficient at foreign English than Monaco’s native French. It likely also sheds light on its conspicuous disorganization. And even perhaps its particularly exorbitant prices, which woefully, are not reflected in either the quality of the food, service, or ambience.

[Rather ironically, you must literally traverse the entire length of La Trattoria's interior in order to reach the entrance to Fuji.]

Afterward, a short stop at Hotel de Paris for a digestif did not fare any better. We ended up there, because the numerous people of varying tastes within our party could not agree on our next locale. It was "too early" for Jimmy’z, and hot spot Sass Café was deemed "too political" for its conduciveness to encountering disagreeable acquaintances and/or other social banes. Ultimately, Hotel de Paris was chosen for its proximity to the casino.
And what a mistake that was. I can’t speak for everyone, but sipping espresso in Times Square, for example, is not my idea of fun. (Clearly, the Russians don’t agree with me.)

How much did you blow all week?
This was in fact only one night within the week. Luckily, I didn’t spend that much in total, but regrettably, this night’s experience still could not vindicate the cost.

**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[ Continued from "My Week Off : St. Tropez..." ]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Okay, as a certain somebody pointed out to me yesterday, I guess it’s really more like four or five.

What made you choose Cap d’Antibes and Cap Ferrat for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez; Cap d’Antibes and Cap Ferrat were simply two more stops along the voyage…

And where did you stay?
Still aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.

And its crew is unbelievably gracious, diligent, and hospitable. (Not bad to look at, either. Haaa.)

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Aside from the trip being far too short? No.
Oh, there’s the food thing— there’s way too much of it. Breakfast, a meal I never eat, is the most problematic. Where I’d much prefer simply three consecutive cups of coffee, there is instead a daily sumptuous buffet of European delectables. And in the company of generous Turkish hosts, to decline is practically an insult. Thank goodness for the available selection of fresh fruits and juices, or I likely would have gained ten pounds.

Any great standout experiences?
I’m getting to be so much better a swimmer! No, really.
See, evidently, boating/yachting is so ingrained in Turkish (and Greek) cultures that everybody swims like dolphins in the sea practically from the day they’re born, I am not even kidding. The first time I traveled aboard the Black Sea, I was a vastly pitiful swimmer in comparison— it was really embarrassing. I mean, even though my form is fine, I have very little stamina in the water. Therefore, this time the mere idea of swimming smack out there in the middle of the Mediterranean again at plunging depths of god-knows-what was still a downright harrowing experience to me. I am not at all exaggerating when I say my hosts (and their friends) dive right into water at nearly every port and swim for miles on end with nary a care in the world. So, you either have to keep up at some semblance of competence, or forever be labeled the histrionic, unworldly city-dweller who would drown in a puddle of saliva.

Well, the truly amazing thing about the Mediterranean is it resembles our Atlantic and Pacific Oceans not a wee bit. It’s fantastically placid and, in some places, as warm as your bath. You’d have to be an histrionic, unworldy city-dweller who would drown in a puddle of saliva to not appreciate and take advantage of its splendor.
Believe it or not, two summers ago I swam from the shores of the island of Symi to the Black Sea, at a distance approximately equal to 3/4 the way across the Hudson River to New Jersey (even though I was pretty much kinda scared to death). Later, in retrospect, I realized it was an utterly stupid thing for me to attempt at my skill level and vowed never to do it again.
So okay, I didn’t accomplish that same feat during this expedition, but I do dare say I came pretty close!

Anyway, my point is: Wow, Cap Ferrat was a really great place to swim— overall of all the places I’ve bobbed in the Mediterranean by now, I’d probably rank it tied for second or third.
(Also: I think Brigitte Bardot lives here and Bill Gates has a home here too or something.)

As for Cap d’Antibes— apparently, from what I surmise, it’s a huge hit with travelers who love the South of France, but "detest St Tropez" (that’s a direct quote). Sooo, it’s kinda like people who hate the Meatpacking District but love the West Village. I guess.

Unfortunately, it was a short visit so I only tried one restaurant. It was called L’Oursin and came highly recommended to us by a friend of my hosts. It a had a great outdoor dining area in the plaza (next to the carousel) as well as a large indoor restaurant. Primarily seafood— grilled fish and shellfish, with meat and pasta dishes available too. Personally, my moules avec frites were delicious and fresh, but the serving size was gigantic— which was kinda weird to me, because I thought the French weren’t into that sort of thing. Also, the escalope avec pasta bolognese was pretty good too, but again, enough to feed at least two people. Don’t even get me started on the salade de fruits de mer. (The one thing I can’t quite comprehend though, is why lobster is so expensive everywhere you go with the Mediterranean right outside the doorstep.)

How much did you blow all week?
Wait, we’re still not quite done yet!
But to answer the question: believe me, still not anywhere remotely as much as its worth.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Maybe around two or three.

What made you choose St. Tropez for this vacation?
I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).

And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Besides the trip being entirely too short? No.
Oh, there’s the food thing— there’s way too much of it. Breakfast, a meal I never eat, is the most problematic. Where I’d much prefer simply three consecutive cups of coffee, there is instead a daily sumptuous buffet of European delectables. And in the company of generous Turkish hosts, to decline is practically an insult. Thank goodness for the available selection of fresh fruits and juices, or I likely would have gained ten pounds.

Any great standout experiences?
Oh, where do I even begin. Aside from the accommodation of traveling the entire time in the most supreme and blissful way imaginable? Well— there were the restaurants.

Of course St Tropez has its renowned and illustrious "hotspots"— Nioulargo, Club 55, and Nikki Beach. They’re all pretty much exactly as you’d expect. I’m sure almost anything I would describe would merely sound redundant. So, I’ll just skip over the incontrovertible and recount the pointless trivialities.

Nioulargo is hot, and I don’t just mean its popularity. It’s literally hot— and very crowded. The neat thing is they spray a fine mist of cold water throughout the atmosphere intermittently.
From what I can infer, Nioulargo is the jumpoff either one step above Club Cinquante Cinq or one step below, depending on how played-out you think Cinquante Cinq is. In any case, it’s tres chic, my dear. A visit to St Tropez without a stop a Nioulargo essentially makes you a cretin.

Cinquante Cinq is, of course, St Tropez’s most famous destination. You must go, dahling. (By boat, I mean. Because the street traffic, even in a requisite Bentley or Lamborghini, is unbearable.)
Oh, look— there’s Hugh Grant (no, really). Ah look, there’s Mischa Barton. And see that swanky (albeit chartered) motor yacht over yonder in the Mediterranean? That’s where Andrea Bocelli is staying. If you’re charmed enough to be moored closeby, you can hear him practicing his scales in the morning (no, seriously).

And what would a visit to St Tropez be without a drink at Nikki Beach? You may as well drop by; it will negate and/or counterbalance your humiliation at ever having patronized the one here in New York.

Aside from all that, one day we had lunch at La Plage de Salins. It’s a short cruise away from St Tropez’s prominent Plage Pampelonne. Its primary attraction, naturally, is its location directly on the beach "where your feet touch the sea." It’s a bit more tranquil than the aforementioned "hotspots," so scoring a great table is less daunting of a feat.
The food is decent; it may not be culinarily extraordinary, but that’s not why you’re here anyway. They have some familiar staples— caesar salad, cheeseburger, moules frites… but also some wonderful grilled fresh fish. Don’t forget to order a bottle of rosé! To drink anything else in this region would make you decidedly un-Tropézienne, even perhaps nothing short of "un animal."

Another splendid day was late lunch at Le Club de Cavaliere, also a short way from Pampelonne at Le Lavandou. What a gorgeous place.
First and foremost, the service is remarkably stellar. Immediately upon dropping anchor at Le Lavandou, you will find a nice multilingual young man approaching in an immaculate white dinghy to invite you for lunch at Le Cavaliere— and of course, more than willing to personally escort you ashore avec plaisir.
But here’s a little secret: the full lunch menu (offered only until 2:00 PM, unless you have reserved otherwise) is actually rather rich and conceivably too lavish for some tastes, especially in 85+ degree weather on a balmy sunny day. Contrastingly, the midday "snack" menu is effortless and accessible and is really quite ample despite the waiters’ profound apologies. Lots of international favorites here— club sandwich, croque monsieur, tuna niçoise, omelette du jour, etc etc… more than enough to make you a very happy camper. And please don’t forget the tarte-tropézienne (their’s is made with a dash of Cointreau). The quality and execution of everything is superbe.

The other fun thing was shopping at the bi-weekly St Tropez Bazaar. If you can stand the crushing crowds, that is. Everything you can possibly imagine is available at the bazaar. But the most enthralling things to me were the poultry/paella stand and the pizza truck. The pizza truck has a full wood-burning oven inside! Yes, in the truck.

How much did you blow all week?
All week? This is just the first few days— we still got a little ways to go!
But to answer the question: believe me, not anywhere remotely as much as its worth.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Day Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider" – BY SPECIAL REQUEST

From the inbox: "Hey… planning an upcoming trip that includes two days in NYC. Don’t want to end up at the tourist spots, I wanna eat like a hip/savvy local! What do you suggest, please? Like, where would you go if you only had one day? And how hard is it to get reservations or get in? … You’re like the Adrian Moore of NYC, [where] I got some great tips on dining when I first moved to Paris… Thanks! – D.B.

So, what do you do in the industry?
it’s me, bitches! or rather — for our Parisian friends— c’est moi, salopes!

And you have how many days off a week, generally?
let’s say 2

What did would you do for breakfast yesterday?
i don’t generally do breakfast, but if i did (or if i were entertaining, e.g.), i’d likely go to SantAmbroeus in the west village. boom— it’s only breakfast and already you’re a “hip and savvy” local. try not to stare at liv-tyler.
breakfast is a bit more sedate than lunch or dinner, so just walk right on in.

Lunch?
if it’s a beautiful sunny day, BarPitti.
after 2pm is best, but do plan on the possibility of a short wait unless you arrive after 4pm. they don’t take reservations, and they don’t take credit cards either.

And afterward?
as you’re already in that vicinity, perhaps some shopping in SoHo or the WestVillage?
and since you’re on vacation, after that, you’ll of course need a nice apértif. personally, when in SoHo, i like LaEsquina or CafeSelect. if i’m in the WestVillage, it’s CentroVinoteca or GustoRistorante e BarAmericano.
either/all are nice and relaxing in the hours from 4pm to 7pm, no reservation/waiting required.

Dinner?
this is where it gets a little tricky. firstly, because you asked where i would go if i only had one night (or had guests from out of town), and secondly because the answer to the question "is it hard to get in?" would likely be a yes oui. but here goes anyway:

at the top of my list would be LaEsquina.
unfortunately, it can be difficult to get a reservation even for a local. a good alternative since you’re coming in the summertime is to sit outdoors, provided you don’t mind dining early (around 7pm). tables outside are first come first served, but do not offer the full cellar dining room menu. however, the "scene and/or people watching" (one of LaEsquina’s primary attractions) is stellar from this vantage point.

also at the top of the list is MinettaTavern, mostly because whenever friends of mine visit from across the country or overseas, dinner at MinettaTavern is usually a principal request. i believe reservations at this juncture are still a bit difficult, so a decent strategy is to dine at the bar. i normally suggest people go early (around 6pm), check with the maitre d’ for any cancellations or sudden availabilities, but be prepared to have full dinner at the bar if necessary. of course, late dinner (around 11pm) is always an option too, but it’s not the choice i would make.

[i wanted to re-iterate however, these are selections i would make under the provision of one night in NYC as a "hip/savvy local." if you're one of those die hard foodie types, send your hate mail elsewhere, i'm not even remotely interested. then go get yourself a Michelin guide or something.]

And afterward?
sigh. if i had to? the BoomBoom. but yes it’s true, you’re not getting in. but since you must go home and tell everyone you’ve been there— go early, in the hours from 4pm to 9pm.

please do not ask me where you can "go dancing" after 10pm without a hassle at the door, because any pragmatic suggestion i would make would only serve to publicly embarrass myself. [okay here's a tip: you can go absolutely anywhere else you please if you're willing to "buy a bottle" and/or bribe the doorperson.]

How much did would you [have to] blow today?
with the exception of "BoomBoom Room," none of my recommendations are exorbitantly expensive. but, since it’s vacation, and i assume you mean to have a nice time— i would approximate the total cost for a day out like this (for two people) at about $550.00

i hope you have a nice visit!

*** See our latest UPDATE on La Esquina ***

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Day Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a restaurateur/operator for several F&B enterprises in [downtown/midtown Manhattan] NYC.

And you have how many days off a week, generally?
I usually take a half day on Saturday, and on Sunday I try to limit work to about an hour or two.

What did you do for breakfast yesterday?
We had breakfast at Sunset Beach. We normally stay with friends whenever we visit the Hamptons (I sold my own house ages ago), but this time we decided to try something different. Even though the weather forecast wasn’t great, we figured we’d get out of the city anyway. I’d called Sunset Beach at the last minute, and (presumably due to the forecast) I had no trouble booking a room the night before.
Breakfast was good— nothing too fancy, but a nice eggs benedict with spicy hollandaise and a mushroom frittata with a side of apple-smoked sausage. The coffee could have been better, though. I have noticed this before— even awhile back when I used to stay at The Raleigh in Miami Beach, the coffee always sucked. Not an AB Hotels strong point, I guess.
But the service was good and friendly, especially for so early in the morning (by young NYers in the Hamptons).

Lunch?
Silver’s in Southampton. My Hamptons lunchtime staple. It’s hard to get there sometimes, because they close at 3:30PM, and obviously, if you’re on the beach, it isn’t easy to get there on time. If Garrett [Wellins] is around, he’s usually more accommodating to the regulars, and you can get a seat closer to 4PM. But if not, forget it; it seems the staff starts turning people away at 3:15.
Normally I go for either the lobster roll or the lobster salad, which are the best I’ve had anywhere, but this time I opted for the crabcake and was not disappointed— it was excellent. My wife had the burger, which is also one of their specialties (it’s the size of your head) and that was really delicious too. It’s not hard to imagine how Silver’s manages to stay in business working 3 hours a day 6 months out of the year. The quality of the food is truly superb.

And afterward?
Just walked around and did a little window shopping… and stopped in for a gelato cone from Sant Ambroeus.
Then back to Sunset Beach for a sunset drink. It really turned out great that the weather forecast was so bad, because it was unusually serene— normally it’s a madhouse. But the weather actually turned out okay; by 6PM the sun was peeking out and the temperature was perfect. We had a chance to chat with all our pals who are running the place this year; generally the staff is running around like chickens without heads it’s so busy. So it was really very nice lounging relaxedly with a nice bottle of rosé and a very good platter of crudité. I liked the olive tapenade so much, I’m stealing the idea for the crudité I serve in my own places. Between all the locations, we must have barrels of tapenade, but nobody ever thought to serve it with the crudité.

Dinner?
We hadn’t planned on leaving the island again, but then we got a call from friends who happened to be staying in Sag Harbor for the weekend. So we decided to meet them for dinner at B. Smith’s on the marina.
Ugh, it was horrible. The service was OK, but the food was awful. Since I’d missed my usual lunchtime lobster roll at Silver’s, that’s what I ordered, and my wife chose the "special" lobster salad. Plus we had Blue Point oysters to start.
Well, the oysters were pretty bad; they have a terrible shucker. He let all the natural juices drain out and there were shells shards everywhere. And the lobster was a joke. Overcooked, over-refrigerated, tough, and chewy like rubber— which for the Hamptons especially, is a real travesty; you’d think there’d be great fresh seafood everywhere. And don’t even get me started on the wine by the glass.
The waffle fries were good though.

And afterward?
Just back to the hotel, and by this time the bar seemed to really be pumping. Not nearly as packed as usual, but definitely pretty crowded. We were tired so we just went back to our room, which was essentially pretty nice. Simple and unadorned but clean and cozy and comfortable. The bathroom is small, but everything else is pretty good. And the balcony is spacious and pleasant.

How much did you blow today?
Including the room? Probably about a grand.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Mastro’s Ocean Club (Las Vegas)

What was your first impression?
♪♪ "i shutting shit down at the mallllll…" ♪♪ haaa. just kidding.

Please rate the Bar:
nice. welcoming, capacious, and comfortable, if not exceptionally orderly. and the bartender is good. competent, amicable, and knowledgeable but not particularly effusive.
great lighting! ha aha ahaa everyone’s a beauty here… and umm, let’s just say las vegas isn’t exactly overcome with those.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
wow that’s a lotta liquor. and do my eyes deceive me or are they actually pouring Chopin out of the well. now that’s impressive. the wine list is decent— adequately diverse and judiciously priced, something nice for every budget.

Please rate the Dining Room:
it’s… different. great view of the… LouisVuitton boutique? and the sculpture structure thingie that makes up the "walls" must have cost a fortune. welcome to las vegas!

Please rate the BOH:
not bad. but not nearly as good as i expected, considering the glowing recommendation that came via a "born and raised" las vegas (F&B) native. so that’s a bit of a disappointment.
but on the upside, it’s actually rather reasonably priced.

How was the staff?
overall, good. perfectly adept but inconspicuous. maybe a B or B+.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
escargot : classic. good. flavorful, but not extraordinary.
lobster bisque: very good. rich, hearty, delicious. unusually generous portion of lobster meat. (and at only $12.95? — huh.)
ahi tuna tartare : good fresh tuna, but the presentation is somewhat silly, what with the layers and the crunchy chinese "noodles" and whatnot. overkill.
halibut fish & chips : pretty good. huge. not astounding but certainly satisfactory, and who doesn’t love a fancy fish and chip?
sauteed mushrooms : great aroma but aww— "farmed" mushrooms? bleah. i should have gone with the gorgonzola mac&cheese or the wasabi mashed potatoes instead. but now i’m too stuffed.

What did you like?
uhh, the lighting? (hey, you try catching yourself in mirrors all over las vegas hotels and casinos. i swear you never knew you were so damned ugly.) the ambience sorta grows on you…

What did you dislike?
i really wish the food were as good as the endorsement.

What was your last impression?
i can’t breathe…

Would you come back?
probably.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, and have a good night.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

CUT (Las Vegas)

What was your first impression?
it looks good…

Please rate the Bar:
it’s small, particularly given the total square footage of the space and las vegas’s proclivity for massively sized things. the bar/lounge area overall however is spacious and comfortable, which is nice. personally, i feel it’s much more appealing than the main dining room, which seems far less welcoming and dispassionate in comparison.
oh but for the love of gawd what is with the fucking slop light almost everywheres you go? welcome to las vegas— no self respecting restaurateur in NYC would ever…

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
sake! well that’s a noteworthy twist. ha ha ahaa for all the love the chinese get in vegas (seriously, just for a goof— go anywhere and ask for a cup of tea. and then watch them scurry to proudly bring you the "tea menu"), the japanese are clearly the second-class asian around these parts.
admittedly, i was so distracted by the sake, i completely forgot to look at the wine/cocktail list. but i mean, it’s a steak house, and it’s wolfgang-puck— exactly how disparate do you think they’d be, really.

Please rate the Dining Room:
typically big, and kinda "corporate." i like the anteroom much better.

Please rate the BOH:
dude, it’s wolfgang-puck. so, ya know— like that. a step above USHG… maybe somewhere in the DinexGroup stratum. (fourth day straight of F&F las vegas reviews; i’m getting a little tired of using the same adjectives over and over and over again.)

How was the staff?
dude, it’s wolfgang-puck. so, ya know— like that. a step above B.R.Guest… somewhere in the USHG stratum. (fourth day straight of F&F las vegas reviews; i’m getting a little tired of using the same adjectives over and over and over again.)

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
burrata and prosciutto di parma : good. very fresh. quite a large portion. but not particularly astounding.
bone marrow flan : nice. tasty. maybe needs jussst a little touch of salt— until you try it with the mushroom marmalade. then it’s really absolutely delicious.
fava bean salad : good. light, flavorful, slightly tart. nice texture composite.
new york sirloin tasting : i guess— perfect for anybody in las vegas who really likes steak but doesn’t necessarily want to eat one the size of one’s head. usually, i’m a porterhouse and/or bone-in ribeye kind of girl, but this menu pretty much scared me. i mean, i knooow vegas is a fatty meat lovers’ paradise (and they have their own way of doing things here), but personally i’ve never a seen a place actually brag about corn fed beef before.
anyways, of all the beefs on my plate (japanese wagyu, american "kobe style," and USDA prime dry age) the wagyu was far and away the standout. of course.
creamed spinach with fried egg : the waiter recommended this as his "favorite side," but the spinach was way too pureed for me. spinach mush. but flavorful enough.

What did you like?
the wagyu was really quite good.

What did you dislike?
umm, the slop light drives me nutso?

What was your last impression?
i once told emeril-lagasse Delmonico is my favoritest steakhouse ever. should i have gone back there instead? it’s been so long…

Would you come back?
maybe.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Guy Savoy – Bubble Bar (Las Vegas)

What was your first impression?
huh. this is kinda… ugly, actually. i mean, the little fireplace thingie is sort of nice (?) i guess, but the polar bear head encased in the plexiglas is just a bit silly. and the crates stacked in the corner aren’t quite as cute as i suppose they’re meant to be.

Please rate the Bar:
the bar itself is underwhelming, unwelcoming, and uncomfortable. there’s no bartender— it’s up to the (lone) hostess to serve you.
now, i totally "get" it’s a champagne bar, but believe it or not, there is a difference between simple and ordinary. here’s a hint: at least one of those shouldn’t cost millions to build. when it does, it’s beyond "ordinary" or "simple"— then it’s just stupid.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
cocktails are n/a. and since i’m not such a fan of champagne generally, i opted for a glass of sauvignon blanc (from sancerre) off the sparse ‘by the glass’ menu. i was a bit surprised when i’d turned my head for a moment and then turned back realizing both our glasses had been fully poured without a taste first (i’m not fussy, but i mean, this is GuySavoy, right?) but then i remembered the poor girl had to leave her post at the hostess stand for this and was perhaps unaccustomed to serving wine at all. well, it ended up being unfortunate, cuz the wine had turned already. i felt a prick of compunction at returning two full glasses of wine, so i asked for a sommelier to come and confirm the wine had indeed gone bad. the hostess was very nice and replaced the glasses immediately, but it did make me curious… no sommelier at Guy Savoy? or is the Bubble Bar simply unworthy?

Please rate the Dining Room:
not my style. at all. which is why i opted for Bubble Bar in the first place.
as a person who’s spent 20+ years within the industry and currently dines out nearly every night of my life, a subdued grandiloquent four hour dining experience is nothing short of sheer torture for me. but i’d heard such good things about GuySavoy, i figured it might be travesty to leave las vegas without at least a sampling.
sigh…

Please rate the BOH:
like i need the fucking hate mail from hysterical foodies, right? puhleese, spare me that much.
alls i’m a say is: personally, i wish i’d gone back to Sage instead.

How was the staff?
she was a perfectly proficient hostess/bartender/waitress, but maybe just a wee icy. but it was rather amusing how the back waiters from the dining room who occasionally came to fetch the table accoutrements (all the fancy salt and pepper ramekins for the tables are stored behind the bar, bottom shelf, below the row of cognacs) seemed rather unnerved by our presence.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
the oysters in ice gelée, the "mosaic" of poularde, foie gras, and black truffle, and beef tartare with little potato croquettes. yessss, i realize these are hardly the world renowned signature "colors of caviar" or whatever the hells (bad me. bad me.) but umm— foie gras and tartare— these just happen to be the same things i ate last night at Sage. and yah, Sage was better. so maybe if i hadn’t dined there the prior evening, i would have enjoyed GuySavoy more? i’m not sure, quite frankly.

What did you like?
that now i get to say i’ve been here.

What did you dislike?
overall, i can’t exactly say it was an enjoyable experience. although it was interesting…

What was your last impression?
i’m rather glad i didn’t opt for the full dinner. (and the professional in me can only conclude the Bubble Bar, as ill-conceived and ill-managed as it is, could very well be the bane of their endeavors.)

Would you come back?
i’m afraid not, but thank you.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
well that’s sweet of you to say. good night.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Sage (Las Vegas)

What was your first impression?
isn’t this elegant.

Please rate the Bar:
nice. tasteful, welcoming, capacious, very comfortable. and the bartender is charming, knowledgeable, and enthusiastic. humorous even.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
very healthy and diverse list of wine and beer— impressive and reasonably priced. brief cocktails list is comprised mostly of classics with a refined touch. sophisticated selections all around; i’d say arguably one of the most superlative bars in las vegas.

Please rate the Dining Room:
i like the front bar/dining area better, as the rear dining room seems a bit more austere— and personally i think the ample square footage could have been utilized better. it simply lacks the warmth and seductiveness of the anteroom. feels vaguely corporate.

Please rate the BOH:
excellent. we chose Sage because it was recommended by a friend in the las vegas F&B industry as "the best of all the restaurants at CityCenter"— and after having tried it, i wholeheartedly believe it. i would go so far as to say Sage ranks as one of the best restaurants i’ve experienced anywhere, ever.
hell, even the bread service was distinctive.

How was the staff?
good. highly proficient but perfectly at ease. adroit but unceremonious.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
the slow-poached egg, the yellowtail crudo, the wagyu beef tartare, the foie gras custard brulee, and the roasted sweetbreads, and everything was quite exceptional (and tremendously rich)— with the foie gras and the tartare being the stellar standouts. only the fussiness of the crudo made me apprehensive, but after one bite i got over it quick.
undoubtedly one of the most spectacular meals i’ve ever had, and technically, i didn’t even have an entree. alas, so many restaurants to try and so little time…

What did you like?
pretty much everything.

What did you dislike?
i’m too stuffed to eat anything else.

What was your last impression?
i’m so glad i came.

Would you come back?
absolutely.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, it was a pleasure.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Julian Serrano (Las Vegas)

What was your first impression?
what an odd façade… but i guess, not for vegas!

Please rate the Bar:
nice. certainly welcoming, that’s for sure. and comfortable and commodious. typically vegas in vastness, clean.
the bartender is enthusiastic but not particularly warm or amiable. competent— in that very zealous mixologist kind of way [read: sloooow]. not quite an adept multi-tasker.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
best margarita i’ve had in all of las vegas. you would think vegas’s relative proximity to mexico would yield some truly inspired margarita concoctions everywheres you go, but you would be wrong. unfortunately, las vegas is closer to disneyland than mexico (seriously, don’t even get me started on my quick stop at dosCaminos with the "triple sec already in the mix" — mhmmp).
the wine list, too, is more adventurous than most i’ve seen here. eclectic and diverse with a nice range of options at reasonable prices.

Please rate the Dining Room:
a but strange— what with the whole bit of overlooking the lobby and all. nice view of the… reception desk? a bit too "day at the mall" for my tastes— but the more private tables in the rear aren’t exactly preferable either. but whatever, just go with it. you’re in las vegas fer chrissakes.

Please rate the BOH:
very good. impressive. nice artful twists on simple classics. better than i expected (especially given the strange lobby/cafe-esque design of the space). truly first-rate.

How was the staff?
fine. proficient and cordial if not exactly conscientious.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
we tried the white ceviche, the grilled calamari, chicken and bechamel croquettes, sauteed padron peppers, and creamy wild mushroom risotto and they were all quite exceptional. what a masterful execution of straightforward dishes. rich, flavorful, fresh with an adroit but uncomplicated presentation. really excellent.

What did you like?
the food was outstanding.

What did you dislike?
nothing really.

What was your last impression?
well now i’m kinda regretful i never tried Picasso; i always just assumed it was a tourist trap what with the big fuss over the dancing waterfalls and whatnot. and now that it’s so past its prime… (oh, haa! past… Prime, get it? i didn’t even do that on purpose, i swear.)

Would you come back?
yes.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, it was a pleasure.

yah so
by now, yalls have heard all about how poor eric-goode couldn’t get home from europe cuz the big stupid volcano in iceland wouldn’t let him. well, did you even stop to think about all the forlorn europeans and scandinavians and whatnot stranded here for the very same reason? no. no, of course you didn’t.

imagine, say— you were stranded at THOR for days and days on end with absolutely no knowledge of how long it would be before you’re able to return home. and so you went out one night and got drunk and passed out on a new friend’s living room sofa. and then somebody stole your pants, but you didn’t discover it until you awoke the next morning? and thus you had to walk through the strange, crowded, unfamiliar streets of NYC all the way back to THOR without your pants?
wouldn’t you looove if it were all captured on video so you could relive this awesome experience time and time and time again? sure you would— i thought so!

and so, without further ado, PX This presents: The New York Blues with Markus Keller and Marc Swoboda

or ya know— you can also check out professional "snow rider" Marc Swoboda (for Nitro®, Volcom®, Red Bull®, and Nike®) in action—

and/or former Olympian Markus Keller— with his pants.

nyeeah. take that, Page Six.

**See also (earlier):

• Homegirl Meets Coolest Dude Ever

• Euro Gap

• SPOTTED:

***With very special thanks to Kummi "Bunny" Kim

Here is an awesome graphic display of 25 things you should and/or should not do on the subway. Look— it works for NYC, too!

This one in particular I didn’t quite understand at first. "Do it at the beach."

Do what at the beach? Stick yourself in the closing doors? But, then I realized: he’s "swimming," get it? Ha ha ha, "do it at the beach."

:)

Anyway, enjoy!

Bad manners are universal! Hooray.

*With special thanks to James "Milkman" Mielke

Jerry Rosembert – Le Projet Nouvelle Haiti

"… I really wish I could have captured more of Jerry’s graffiti. Pretty much all the graffiti here is political, and mostly all but his is text, election related. Aba means ‘down with,’ often with Preval after. The rest is vote for so-and-so or the number corresponding to the candidates number on the slate or ballot. With an 80-90% illiteracy rate, most vote by number…

Haiti needs a hand up, not a handout."

** With very special thanks to F&B superstar, Lelaine Lau.

• Tuesday, February 9, 2010. 8:00PM – Nelly, chillin’ (and coddling babies) at the crowning of Miss AppleBottoms 2010 in Amsterdam, The Netherlands.*

• Tuesday, February 23, 2010. 11:30PM – Rosario Dawson chatting with Kenny Kenny at the Tuesday night weekly Bon Bon party (hosted by Kenny Kenny and Susanne Bartsch) at Juliet Supper Club.

• Saturday, February 20, 2010. 4:30PM – Russell Brand and Katy Perry strolling down West Houston near Greene St. in SoHo.

*With special thanks to Jenise Uehara