PX This.

PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW

We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Da Alfredo (Lingua, Salina)

What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a concierge at the Grand Hotel Timeo in Taormina, Sicily (and again by a taxicab driver in Malfa, Salina).

What was your first impression?
Cute. Love it.

Please rate the Bar:
Come to think of it, I’m not finding many bars in Italy at all— do they have such a thing? Cuz I mean like technically, if you go to Ristorante Alfredo in Cucina, then the entire Da Alfredo (in the front) is actually considered their "bar."

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Uh, N/A? From what I gather, wine and spirits just aint the thing around here. When people come to Alfredo, they drink granite, period end of story. And I must admit, that stuff is gooood.

Please rate the Dining Room:
Oh it’s pretty cramped and haphazard and sorta butt-assed ugly. But who the heck cares, when you have that view.

Please rate the BOH:
It’s perfectly decent at making their specialty, which is pane cunzato. But again, I get the distinct impression it’s the granite that really matters.

How was the staff?
Proficient and amiable. What more do you need?

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Pane Cunzato con tonno : Good. Nice fresh tasty ingredients, but personally I find the pane part a wee too rustic (i.e. thick). Like I mean for example, if a chef decided to make this dish in New York, it’d probably be with a much finer more delicate "crust," and then that‘d be the ticket.
Pane Cunzato con ricotta infornata : Yea, see above.
Pane Cunzato con melanzane : Eh, probably my least favorite.
Pane Cunzato con pomodoro e acciughe : Pretty good, hearty flavors.
Pane Cunzato con mozzarella e pomodoro : Nice and simple. I like this one best of all.
Almond, chocolate, white fig, peach, strawberry, and cafe granite : All pretty damned yummy, with the white fig, almond, and peach (in that order) being the greatest standouts. So fresh and unadulterated. But the cafe granita was the least appealing.

What did you like?
Mmmm… graniiita…

What did you dislike?
Oi, too much bread, I can’t breathe.

What was your last impression?
Seriously, how fucking cool am I right now. I’m not even sure how I got here.

Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
‘Piacere. Buona giornata, grazie e arrivederci.

More photographs of Da Alfredo, Salina-Lingua, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com

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Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com

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