PX Me. (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
When Abbe Diaz published her journal, PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" [née Diary of the Potted Plant] in 2004, she’d had no idea Read more…
PX Me. (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
When Abbe Diaz published her journal, PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" [née Diary of the Potted Plant] in 2004, she’d had no idea what she was in for. Sure, she expected the process would be difficult and she might never work in the fine dining restaurant industry ever again, but she never imagined the truth could be so controversial— in a book that’s essentially about HAVING DINNER.
Despite PX This being lauded by most of her colleagues (and some of the most illustrious names in the business) as "the bible of the [NYC] industry," Diaz soon learned the politics of Food and/or "Culture" Media & PR is a game that’s dirtier than last night’s dishes. Finding herself under unjustified fire from various vastly popular and influential periodicals, news blogs, food press, online foodie communities, and other professional and aspiring writers, Diaz (a textbook Scorpio/Monkey) quickly realized [again] there were two things in her life she would never be willing to do: 1) Take unmerited bullshit, and 2) Kiss spiteful pretentious ass.
As you can probably imagine, that went over reeeally well. Mistruths, mudslinging, manipulation, misappropriation, corruption, censorship, and the tarnishing of her character— as well as the livelihoods of her friends and loved ones— are just some of the things she subsequently endured.
This is that story.
"This writing stuff is HARD." – Salman Rushdie (to friends on Facebook®)
"If you think the writing is hard, wait ’til you try the selling part. Oh, wait…" – Abbe Diaz (in response to friend, Salman Rushdie, on Facebook®)
PX Me – The Sequel to PX This
(How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous,
and Married a Millionaire)
- COMING SOON IN THE SPRING OF 2012 -
DP/Videographer: Jim Turner
Composer: Amir Salem aka Azeem
Production Assistant: Eric S. Smith
Voiceover: Brad Aldous
New Blogger: Kevin Coyle
Friend: Katina Carrao
Head Honcho: Brady Bryson
Co-Worker: Amir Salem
With cameos: Gabriel Snyder, Emily Gould, Josh Ozersky, Choire Sicha, Joshua David Stein, Ben Leventhal
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Abbe Diaz is a freelance commercial-artist, designer/dressmaker, and restaurant consultant. She has worked in the restaurant/bar industry for nearly 25 years, with numerous stints throughout the New York dining/party scene that include: Limelight, Palladium, Tunnel, Club USA, Coffee Shop, Spy, Cafe Tabac, The Strand (Miami Beach), Mercer Kitchen, Ilo, Lotus, and Theo. She served as the opening maître d’ for The Park, Smith, and 66.
She is proud to have had the opportunity to work under such nightlife arbiters as: Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Brian McNally, Jonathan Morr, Peter Gatien, Eric Goode, and Sean Macpherson.
Diaz gained a B.A. in Economics from Rutgers College, Rutgers University – New Brunswick. She was further educated as a non-matriculate Design student at the Fashion Institute of Technology, in NYC, where she currently resides.
• “The New York service industry’s Norma Rae, Abbe Diaz… the Service Industry’s Nikke Finke…” – BlackBook
• “…pure unbridled crazy batshitness…” – gawker.com
• “That is genius.” – Joel Stein, Time
For more information about PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" visit http://pxthis.com/thebook
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
My first impression? –> Oh brother. (They were "closed for a private function from 6 to 8" on my first visit.)
My next first impression: The bartender’s really pretty.
Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Right away there are certain restaurant-specific details that don’t meet perspicacious-restaurateur standards, so that’s kinda odd. But then again Morandi falls short too, so maybe it’s some kind of bizarro trying-to-be-authentic-Italian (European restaurants are usually a mess) trend— what the hells do I know.
So I guess let’s just say that of the M&M&M’s (Morini, Morandi, and Maialino), Maialino wins. (Maialino is also the only one with proper stemware.)
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
I like the wine list— thoughtful, adventurous, and insightful. And reasonably priced. Especially since the final price printed on my check for my quartino was $2.50 less than the price specified on the list. So I dunno, maybe you wanna run over there and take full advantage before they figure out the discrepancy.
There didn’t seem to be a very many selections on the cocktail list, but now in retrospect, I wonder if I was looking at some kind of "digestif" list instead. It’s likely I have no idea what I’m talking about, so let’s skip this one for now.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s… really crammed. Maximizing their square footage while they’re in their new/hot stage? Could be. (Aaaand… again with the restaurant-specific details that are just slightly off.)
Please rate the BOH:
It’s okay.
But I suppose that’s the problem with heightened expectations; consequently, the disappointment is heightened too.
How was the staff?
Overall, satisfactory.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Speck and Bechamel Fritters : Not bad. But see, this is what I mean. Immediately my first thought is: Well, this place is certainly no Marea-Lite.
Polpettine : Good, but hardly extraordinary. Why do I keep looking for a little more oomph? You tell me.
Short curly-ish pasta (the name of which I don’t recall) with sausage and tomato sauce : Okay, now I’m decidedly disappointed. There’s nothing to this dish at all, and frankly it’s sort of bland. I mean, if I’m actually thinking right now that parmesan cheese would have been a vast improvement, that kinda says something. I aint no chef, goddammit. So how come I know for sure even I can make a better pasta than this.
Funghi : Dry, but the flavor’s fine. However— call me crazy, but is this just a wee bit of a gimmick mixing the cheap mushrooms with the more exotic ones? And why quartered, instead of sliced? Presentation-wise, it just seems sloppy. But that could be the whole trying-to-be-authentic-Italian ‘thing’ again. You know, like: when mamma cooks, she doesn’t really give a shit.
Brussel Sprouts : Dry again, but I guess they’re grilled. It’s not the way I prefer them personally, so I’ll just leave it at that.
What did you like?
I liked the white wine I had! I wasn’t familiar with it prior, so I was happy to find it pretty much matched its description perfectly.
What did you dislike?
Uhh… the ghost of Josh Ozersky? Ha ha ahaa, you knooow that mutherfukker probably practically lives here.
(*Side note: A great byproduct of Anne Burrell leaving my beloved Centro— she took her buddy with her.)
What was your last impression?
Tsk tsk, see that’s the problem with OpenTable sometimes. Three people at the podium, all with their faces so firmly planted up in that pie, not a single one of them can be bothered to say "goodnight." (And yeah, I looked back again halfway out the door with it open, and still nobody even glanced our way.)
Would you come back?
Mmm, wellll… if it’s between the Emineminems, it’ll likely be proximity that makes the final decision for me. (That, or my guests.)
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Yah, thanks.
First of all, thank you so much for your encouraging inquiries and continuing support.
Secondly— okay so, here’s the deal. The Amazon Kindle version of PX This – The Revised Edition is FINALLY available. Yes, it took forever, it’s true. You’re dying to know why, aren’t you?
Well, did you know that, still, as of today, the Amazon Kindle e-reader device does not support sans-serif fonts of any kind? You may not think of this as any big deal, but believe it or not, it almost drove me completely out of my mind. As you’re probably aware, PX This was written in a certain style (reminiscent of, oh— e.e.cummings, let’s say) that relied tremendously on the specific aesthetic of a sans-serif font. I’m aware it’s difficult for some of you prosaic, narrow-minded, tunnel-vision jerkoffs to fathom, but it was all a conscious creative decision intended to convey a certain disposition in my narrative.
Well, I felt sooo strongly about this sans-serif font, I scoured the internet for a solution and searched high and low for a CSS/HTML programmer who could solve the dilemma of converting PX This to the Kindle .mobi format while still maintaining the sans-serif font, all to no avail. I even sent irate messages to Amazon Kindle on Facebook®, I am not even kidding. In the end, I had no choice but to revise PX This – The Revised Edition (AGAIN) specifically for Kindle’s sans-serif-font-hating interface.
Perhaps you’ve noticed the last few weeks, I have adopted the standard usage of the "shift" key on my keyboard for most of my recent blahg posts. Yup, I’ve given in to The Man (as stupid as he is); no more lowercase-loving for me.
[ It's probably all for the best anyways, it's all over the interwebs, everybody is doing it now, it's gotten hackneyed and banal and totally played out--- you'll recall PX This was originally written in the years 2000-2004 when blogs/comments didn't even exist yet.]
This will essentially afford me the luxury of writing the sequel to PX This one time and ONE TIME only. Hallelujah.
Which, lastly, brings me to my next announcement:
The release of the sequel to PX This (formerly tentatively titled PX This Too) has been DELAYED. Sorry, re-writing PX This for the third time took up all the energy allotted to this project for the last several months.
My second book, PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire) will be released in the SPRING of 2011.
Thank you so much again.
xoxo,
abbe
"… Overwhelmingly, e-books and e-readers have emphasized— and maybe over-emphasized— easy reading of prose fiction. All of the rhetoric is about the pure transparency of the reading act… Well, with some kinds of reading, we don’t always want the device to disappear. Sometimes we need to use texts to do tough intellectual work. And when we do this, we usually have to stop and think about their materiality…
We need displays that can preserve the careful spatial layouts of a modernist poet, rather than smashing it all together as indistinguishable, left-justified text. We need to recognize that using language as a graphic art requires more than a choice of three fonts in a half-dozen sizes. Some text is interchangable, but some of it is through-designed. And for good reason.
This is where we’ve been let down by our reading machines— in the representation of language…
Writers wanted to find a way to borrow the visual vitality of what was thought of as ephemeral writing and put it in the service of the conceptual richness and range of subject matter… That’s where we get literary and artistic modernism— not only Joyce, but Mallarmé, Stein, Apollinaire, Picasso, Duchamp, Dada, Futurism— the whole thing. New lines for a new mind, and new eyes with which to see them.
- "E-Books Are Still Waiting for Their Avant-Garde" | September 9, 2010 | Gadget Lab | Wired.com, by Tim Carmody
For want of a better title to depict today’s issue, I’ve decided to start a new PX This feature, wherein we address all the overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel we’re totally sick of.
Why, you ask? As in— if we’re sick of it, why are even discussing it? Well, that’s a very good point. However, I’ve spent some time lately familiarizing myself with the search engine keywords guiding our fair visitors (in an effort to be a more informative "blah-grrr"), and I’ve deduced there are indeed a whole lot of people out there in need of our unique and keenly knowledgeable insight, particularly to assist in weeding through all that misleading overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel out there.
Yes, it’s a rough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
You’re welcome!
Are We Sick of Josh Ozersky Yet?
The answer is naturally: Yes, of course we are. We’re sick to death of him.
But, we still couldn’t help but be eye-rollingly amused by tools-of-a-feather, circle-jerk-brethren, ethics-lacking "journalist" Joshua David Stein‘s hare-brained defense of his pal, Josh Ozersky— titled (or rather, mis-titled), "Why People are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky."
In it, Stein unleashes a staggering god-knows-how-many words in some kind of spurious attempt to elucidate the reader with an answer to his superfluous question. And yet somehow still fails to surmise the obvious:
People Are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky Because He is a Glaringly Clueless, Over-Bloated, Publicist-Indentured, Sycophantic, Unethical, Freeloading Tool.
Luckily! — The comments section of said article provide ample (hilarious) enlightenment.
To wit:
"Pretty good but a major reason (probably THE major reason) for people dogpiling on Ozersly is that he just isn’t that great at what he does (his fact-checking is horrific, which suggests that his depth of knowledge of his subject matter is shallow), but he’s a cocky bastard. He’s also an utterly shameless self-promoter. And he goes way beyond a free meal or a free bottle of booze here and there. The guy has elevated, or dropped pay-for-press to a new level. The La Frieda and Hanson stuff is especially egregious. He makes himself extremely easy to hate and all of this is his own fault."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605684
"Most internet food writing (blogging, whatever) is just the regurgitation of press releases. That’s why they’re always talking about the same things at the same time and why so many of them publish the same error-riddled stories. It’s basically block-save "writing" (don’t call it journalism, because it isn’t) by callow people who know very lttle about their subject. The worst cases, like Ozersky, actually believe that they are expert in their field. And they’re easily bought off, usually for cheap. Ozersky just upped the ante in the low-rent, freeloading game with this $50,000 or so boondoggle. He’s the shit king of turd mountain now."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605786
Yeah, of the 32 or so comments attached (not to mention the pretentious, verbose article) that essentially pretty much sums up the solution to the conundrum right there. And we didn’t even have to write it! (Neither, apparently, should have Stein.)
We’re just sayin’ elaboratin’.
**********************************************************
** See also (earlier):
• Grubstreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant (& Stupid)
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical
• Gawker Loses “Ignorasshole”
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb
• Abbe Diaz vs Gawker
*** For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autmn of 2010 ***
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
New York Magazine’s GRUBSTREET and Gawker’s GRIDSKIPPER
(Addressing Their Remarkable Ignorance and Outright Stupidity):
Started: February 21, 2008. 11:44AM by *Dick Johnson* • Closed: June 28, 2010 11:17AM • Archived at 84,619 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : GrubStreet’s Former Managing Editor, Josh Ozersky
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former GridSkipper Blogger, Chris-Mohney. Chef/Restaurateur Jean-Georges Vongerichten.
GIST OF TOPIC : Josh Ozersky is a biased, unethical, sycophantic tool. (This discussion thread essentially proves it. Lots of quotes, hyperlinks, etc. contained within.)
SIGNIFICANCE: In February of 2008, Abbe Diaz was asked to leave the bar at Jean Georges restaurant’s Nougatine before she could even finish her drink. That story itself is pretty entertaining.
However, it gets downright hysterical after GrubStreet’s Josh Ozersky chooses to recount the anecdote thusly:
Ungrammatical Forum Poster Tossed From Jean Georges, Gets Revenge in Ungrammatical Forum Post
We’re always leery of the strange, strange world of Abbe Diaz and her online forum, PX This, but a media alert titled Blogger Tossed From Jean Georges was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Diaz a former maitre d’ at Jean Georges who wrote a dishy book about her experiences in the business was in fact the blogger tossed, a cringe-inducing event publicized by the pilloried herself. (All of Diaz’s entries on PX This read like interminable text messages tapped out by the jittery, manicured thumbnails of an ex-model at Rose Bar at 4 a.m.) We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you dog someone you worked for in a book, don’t go to his restaurant unless you know he won’t be around.
Abbe Diaz promptly responds in the comments section of that item:
How flattering! I would much rather sound like an ex-model at Rose Bar than a sycophantic journalist who gets all his information from press releases, any day of the week.
Here’s another "educational" tip for you: Don’t mistreat your staff members (or people in general, for that matter), because there’s such a thing in the universe called "karma," and its faces are plentiful and powerful.
Cheers,
abbe diaz
PX This.
p.s. Dear "Bookseller": Grub Street gives me a link, because right now I happen to be the most prominent voice of "the little people."
Y’know, the ones without whom the Industry to which Grub Street pays soooo much attention, wouldn’t even exist. *
*Note: For unknown reasons, Abbe Diaz’s comment in rebuttal to Josh Ozersky has since been removed from New York magazine’s website.
Good thing we saved it here! (And a whole lotta other fun stuff, too!)
Anyway— luckily, the Daily News also chooses to write their own account of the incident in a far more objective manner, and seeing as lots and lots and lots more people read the Daily News than Grubstreet, that was oodles of fun and cause for much celebration amongst Diaz’s "strange, strange world."
The discussion thread progresses over several months until it is eventually revealed that New York magazine will not renew Josh Ozersky’s contract as Managing Editor, and he is leaving GrubStreet to become Blog Editor for CitySearch. This, of course, would have been of little or no relevance to us (the NYC Food & Beverage industry professionals) had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior. As it turns out, it was instead utterly priceless.
A few more weeks progress, and then it is revealed Jean-Georges Vongerichten and his restaurant group have agreed to settle a class-action lawsuit filed by employees of eight of his eateries for the misappropriation of tip wages earned by staff— to the tune of $1.75 million.
Again, this revelation would likely have been satisfying at best, but thanks to Josh Ozersky’s misplaced sycophantic contretemps, it ends up knee-slappingly uproarious to us, the "strange, strange world" of NYC’s Food & Beverage industry professionals.
The discussion finally culminates several months later, with the announcement of Josh Ozersky’s departure from CitySearch and the demise of his own personal unsuccessful "Feedbag" blog, created after his egress from GrubStreet.
Fascinating.
RATING: ★★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
*Pictured: Anton Ego, food writer, Ratatouille
** See also :
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or “Dumb”)
When we last visited the subject of Josh Ozersky, he was deservedly being ridiculed on national television. Well, it would appear his latest shameless attempt at self-aggrandizement has backfired as well. Some people never learn.
Ozersky, known in and amongst the industry as a "clueless, over-bloated, publicist-indentured sycophant" and "notorious freeloader," apparently penned a "self-centered and egomaniacal" editorial for Time magazine about his own recent wedding, wherein he "extolled the virtues of using restaurant chefs instead of caterers," "prais[ed] the food to the skies," and then failed to disclose all the goods and services he received for said wedding were completely gratis.
For all you non-Latin-speaking folks at home, that means Josh Ozersky engaged in a blatant breach of journalistic integrity.
LOL!
I know, I know, you’re arching your brow right now and wondering, "Sooo— where’s the newsflash, Dick? I may not speak Latin, but this here folk at home knows allll about this tool already. Isn’t this what PX This has been saying all along? I mean like, duh!"
Hey, I was being sarcastic in that title up there, OK? Plus, there is another point I wanted to make:
See all this pertinent new information in here I wanted to add to a previous story?
Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
** See also:
• “NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb”
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
Started: Nov 21 2007, 01:58 PM by *what’s anorexia?* • Closed: February 17, 2010 12:10PM • Archived at 44,539 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : Former gawker.com blogger Joshua David Stein aka "the ignorasshole"
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former gawker.com blogger Emily Gould. Gawker owner/publisher Nick Denton. Former NY Post journalist and gawker.com blogger Ian Spiegelman. Former Gawker managing editor Gabriel Snyder. Former Grubstreet blogger Josh Ozersky. Brian Grazer.
GIST OF TOPIC : Joshua David Stein is an ignorant asshole. Also, a hypocrite. And apparently, a bit of a horntoad who slept with his co-worker. Lots of links and quotes and whatnot provided. Some jabs at gawker.com too, because "they suck" in general.
And then everyone at Gawker who was ever a jerkface suddenly quits or gets fired. Riveting.
SIGNIFICANCE: Abbe Diaz and Joshua David Stein have serious beef from way back (Sept 2007). The guy is a tool; this thread pretty much proves it.
Also, *abbe* randomly drops a comment in a Gawker item, and houses owner Nick Denton’s ass. Fun times.
Gawker bans Abbe Diaz from commenting at Gawker [weak sauce!] because they’re immensely intimidated by her. Twice.
RATING: ★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
We’ve always been leery of the boring, idiotic world of Josh Ozersky (and the numerous incarnations of his online bullshit), but a video segment from The Soup was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Ozersky— a "clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophant[ic]" blogger— was in fact pilloried by No Reservations (and subsequently, The Soup), a cringe-inducing event publicized by Ozersky’s food blogger peers and former colleagues. (All of Ozersky’s blog entries read like interminable clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophantic pontifications tapped out by the jittery, chubby fingers of a man who can’t wait to get his hands on his next donut-bacon-cheeseburger). We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you’re a trite, pathetic, snooze-inducing dweebshit, don’t go on national television.
** See also:
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
*********************************************
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
Lately, it has come to our attention that the link to the original “Good Night, Mr. Lewis” story on Abbe Diaz is permanently defunct, possibly due to Steve Lewis’s defection last year from Joonbug to BlackBook magazine. Due to popular demand, we hereby re-create the entire article but, for the sake of clarity, verity and comprehension, have taken the liberty of editing those portions in which the original was remiss (a copy of the article in its original un-edited state is currently hosted here).
Abbe Diaz: Talk Loudly And Carry A Big Stick…Too (Part Three)
Over the past two days I’ve spoken with Abbe Diaz (see part one and part two). Continue after the jump for the third and final part of my conversation with Abbe.
Steve Lewis: Did you miss me?
Abbe Diaz: Of course, I miss you everyday. Well not anymore, cuz now I can read all about you. That Down by the Hipster thing was so funny.
SL: Did you see what I wrote.
AD: I did.
SL: No, you didn’t, you saw what he made me write. I’m a mellow guy now. Josh was right, I took the high road. It did make me laugh. My girl teased me about it.
AD: Oh, you have it light. If you had any clue what people say about me, to me, at me.
SL: So you were talking about what people say about you. Tell me why anybody would attack you?
AD: Good fucking question.
OK, honestly I know the answer; it’s just a snowball thing.
SL: You attacked the powers that be. If you attack someone in his castle he will throw stones down upon you forever.
AD: Maybe.
SL: OK, you tell me, why? Why are you being attacked?
AD: I sort of narrowed it down to episodes here and there. They do snowball. It’s very small communities, these writer— blogger— shitheads.
JoonBug: People like Gawker and Eater.
AD: What happens is one of them says something bullshittish and I’m supposed to be like "Whatever." But, I’m not— I’m like, "Fuck you."
SL: Eater is this big website; Ben Leventhal is the guy’s name.
AD: Giant Ass. Apparently from what I gather there are a couple of partners. One guy is cool, he’s totally cool, but the other one, what is his problem?
SL: Good Cop, Bad Cop?
AD: No, he’s just an ass.
SL: What I meant was sometimes in business one guy’s really nice and one guy’s a real asshole, and the good guy can always say, "Hey, I’d love to do it, but my partner won’t." That’s good cop, bad cop. Maybe Ben is the bad cop in their relationship.
AD: Mmm… you know it’s kind of a misunderstanding, but not really a misunderstanding. I launched the forum on like March 14th, and the following day there was some stuff about some restaurant. It just so happened that that chef of that restaurant wants to come to the industry forum— and that’s what it’s there for— and vent, you know, about some shit. So that’s fine, vent— but it just so happened that she was venting about the man I’m dating. Check that shit out, isn’t that crazy? That’s like cosmic freakiness. So she goes and she spouts blah blah blah. Now just picture it, someone comes on your blog to your little comment section and says nasty things about your girlfriend. Wouldn’t you be upset?
SL: Not me, ‘cause I know my girl. She’s 5’11” and she will knock the motherfucker out.
AD: But he won’t knock someone out, that’s the problem, he’s a lover not a fighter… Then of course this whole thing gets blown up all out of proportion and it gets found out that that chef is friends with Ben Leventhal…
…What he does [with Eater] now, I don’t agree with… what we do is different, I don’t have ads on my site, I’m not a business, I am a "blog" in the purest sense. I don’t make any money on it, so if I use my blog as my voice then hey, that’s what it’s there for. But, he uses this supposedly objective website for his own personal agenda, and to me there’s just something not quite right about that. Or if you are going to do that at least have the balls to put it right out there and sign your name to it.
SL: I’m going to disagree with you. I say a blog is your personal agenda.
AD: OK, some. In yours, in mine.
SL: I’m saying, just because they’re making money at it doesn’t mean that they can’t have a personal agenda too.
AD: OK, that’s fine. Then be honest about it. Say, look, this is my problem, I don’t like you cuz such and such said this about so and so, and that person’s my friend.
SL: But, that’s your job, because you’re the one who exposes these things. Down By The Hipster, they’re the ones who are exposing these things. Guys like me, I don’t really expose too much, I try not to gossip. You can do it, you can bang back at him. Why don’t you bang back at him?
AD: Oh, I do. But that’s what so annoying— cuz it’s like he doesn’t just attack me, he attacks the people and the places and the events around me, which is not right. You don’t go and fuck with innocent people’s shit just because you have a fucking problem… Watch, I’m going to take so much shit for this. I know it.
SL: Well do you want us to print this or not?
AD: Oh I don’t know. On the one hand I don’t care, on the other hand, I’m so tired of this nonsense.
SL: Let me tell you something about you. I think you’re hot, I think you’re a beautiful girl. But, the hottest thing about Abbe Diaz is she’s got balls and she’s got brains and she’s never going to take shit.
AD: Who would? If somebody gets all in your shit, who’s gonna be like, "Eh."
SL: Most of the world, Abbe. Most of the world takes shit from other people. You get out there and write a book, that’s why you’re controversial because you don’t take shit. The rest of the world takes shit. I don’t take shit too much, well much more than I used to…
AD: I don’t think people take shit, I just think that they’re not up front about not taking their shit. What’s it called? Passive aggressive.
SL: But you get in people’s faces.
AD: You know— look, if someone attacks you, you’re going to slap them back, right across the face. That’s the part that I don’t understand— cuz, like— me, I slap back and they go, "Oh my god, we totally started it, but can you believe she slapped us back?! She’s awful, what a bitch crazy nut job."
SL: Abbe, you are a fighter, and that’s why you’re relevant and that’s why I’m interviewing you today.
AD: But you watch, mark my words. You’ve been doing so well and who’s this kid, the one on Gawker that likes you so much, Hamilton Nolan.
SL: I don’t know.
AD: He’s fucking in love with you. And then I’ve seen you on Grub Street, Josh Ozersky, whatever, I guess he kinda likes you too. Guaranteed, mark my words, this interview will never hit either one of those blogs. This interview, no fucking way.
SL: Because they don’t like you so therefore you’re irrelevant, is that what you’re saying? Look, if you said something Ghandi-esque, or incredibly beautiful, earth shattering, you don’t think it would appear anywhere?
AD: Are you joking? Totally… Josh Stein, that jerk face, do you know who that is?
JoonBug: No.
AD: He used to write for Gawker, and now he does cameos covering that Top Chef thing. He said the most awful thing about me with a full on post with my picture and everything, and all of it was untrue. So, I turn around and I’m like you mother fucker, none of that is true. Even New York magazine’s Grub Street proved him wrong.
SL: So you got your point across using your blog and your side was told.
AD: Basically, I guess. But then, essentially as an answer to what he said, I pulled out this beautiful Gabriel Garcia Marquez quote— do you ever think it saw the light of day? They should have retracted or updated or something.
SL: Now what did you do?
AD: They accused me of being another anonymous blogger… It turns out we’re friendly now, because it was just such a hilarious thing. So they accused me of being her, and it was flat out proven that that blogger was not me. In fact, her story is ten times more interesting than mine, she’s like the "three million dollar bartender" from Boston, you know.
SL: What is a three million dollar bartender?
AD: She got a three million dollar tip to go open her own place.
SL: She must have made a great drink.
AD: Ha haa, I ain’t going there… She’s a friend of mine, sorry… So they accused me of being that blogger, because she was blogging some hilarious things about some people. So they were like, "there goes bashit crazy Abbe Diaz again…" But then when it comes out in the open that it’s not me, you think they would be like, "My bad, it wasn’t Abbe Diaz after all," wouldn’t you?
SL: It’s not like the papers, which is a slower medium, this blog stuff moves fast.
AD: All they would have to do, like they do with so many other stories, is update. An "update" is a very standard thing for bloggers to do.
SL: Well let’s update it right now. Oh, I guess we did we just did.
AD: Do you really think this is going to be on Gawker tomorrow? No way! This is my point, my simple point. Your question, "What if I were to say something beautiful?" — Well, this is a prime example, I did say something beautiful— I was using somebody else’s words, but I was so proud of myself on that rebuttal, I was patting myself on the back. Did anyone ever see it? On my blog, sure.
SL: Let me say something. Abbe you’re an incredible person. I sweat you. I think you’re the coolest. You are beautiful, dynamic, unbelievable, and I’m really glad my readers will get to know you.
AD: Thank you Steve Lewis. But, it’s all for naught. You’ll see.
…
I am a neophyte in this world of blogs. I did get my dander up a few times when something said about me seemed unfair. Maybe I haven’t gotten big enough here to be attacked as Abbe seems to be attacked. The blogosphere fascinates me. I come from a different place. You booked an act or party, you printed an invite, and you had all these kids standing on corners near clubs handing them out, and then that night you opened the doors, the people come, you had a party, and at the end of the night you counted the money. Rinse and repeat. There was a physical connect with the consumer through that flyer and there was time to think, as events were promoted at least a week in advance. Pauses could be taken for breaths, reflections, or even diversions. It’s so fast now. I write this, press the send button, and in an hour you read it. Text messaging redirects consumers from one club to another in the middle of the party. Cell phone calls and emails reach countless masses instantly. I get fifty invites a day to parties happening tonight, tomorrow or sometimes in an hour.
Silicon and plastic have created a distance between the club operator and the consumer. Even if you wanted to punch someone in the nose it would just be an image on MySpace or Facebook and the impact and satisfaction just wouldn’t be the same.
Good Night,
Mr. Lewis
Interview conducted and written by Steve Lewis.
Interview has been edited and condensed.
a blogger (that’s me), a restaurateur, and an operator walk into a bar…
… order a couple of josé-cuervo platino margaritas on the rocks with salt, get a little tipsy, and —what else?— start gossiping like a bunch of sewing bee bitches. it went down a little something like this:
midway through the night, i suddenly spot a proprietor of aforementioned bar. so i remark to nobody in particular "oh! look who it is…" and as he approaches, a scenario from a recent encounter abruptly replays in my head, wherein a certain chef in whose restaurant i dine in practically EVERY WEEK urges me not to blagh about "the cockroach" or he’ll "kill [me]." but when i counter "fine. then give me something else to bloog about instead," he responds with some stupid already relatively prevalent opinion about a different fellow restaurateur (which i essentially can’t blog about anyways cuz then two prominent colleagues of the industry would just be beefin with each other for absolutely no valid substantial reason whatsoever. and believe it or not, i’m not that kind of "blogger") rather than just allowing me to blerg about his new upcoming project. which then evidently gets "scooped" by the biggest fucking ass sucking jerkhead on the face of cyberspace instead. but whatever
i digress.
anyhoo. so the proprietor approaches and after initial pleasantries about the family, lugano switzerland, and the prevailing astrological planetary alignment— the conversation turns to the current progression of the new underground ChinatownBrasserie.
unfortunately, there isn’t much fascinating enlightenment left to dispense. except for maybe:
it may (or may not) open "in four or five weeks." because "once construction is started, it should be boom boom very fast bang it out very fast" seeing as "it’s really just a tweak" anyways. once that room opens, the current ‘chinatown’ upstairs will close down to allow for construction of josh-capon‘s and robert-collins‘s new project, but that will take "much longer" since the architect isn’t "entirely 100% sure" what he’s going to do yet, despite having already "bought some things" for the space.
also, he evidently aha ha ahaa "[has] ADD" so you know how that is.
but all in all "it should be fun" (yes i’m sure). no really— it "should be a lot of fun."
that’s it.
ahahahahaa well. i mean
actually that’s not IT— but as usual, everything else all the really good shit is off the fucking record.
• Here’s at least one benefit of the recession. According to a 25-year professional Waste Management veteran, the dramatic increase in businesses closing (and employees losing their jobs) has resulted in less waste. He approximates his routes alone collect about "20,000 less tons of trash " per week.
• Idiohack Ben Leventhal attempts to instruct restaurant patrons on "How to be a Regular." Unfortunately, his advice is a load of crap. Oh ha, "crap" ha! There’s a joke about trying to be "regular" somewhere in there! Probably. - Vanilla Ice
• Steve Lewis updates us on his feud with Todd English (wherein he "pulled an Abbe Diaz" (!) – his words). - Inkslinger
• Famke Janssen was spotted twice this week (because she’s a total stalker). First on Bleecker and 6th Ave (walking by the fountain) looking cute in trendy casual cargo shorts and a lovely jaunty fedora. Homegirl must be a bit of a klutz though, constantly bumping into low furnitures and whatnot, seeing as her (long! thin!) legs were looking a wee bit bruised and purply.
Our second encounter found her dining at MeKong with a diminutive female friend. Ms. Janssen didn’t seem to mind at all that the air conditioner above her head was dripping all over the table (which we had just abandoned prior, specifically for that reason). She also really loves her dog. He’s an adorable stout puggish slightly overweight nearly cross-eyed little thing, but Ms. Janssen reached down and scooped up all 15 or so pounds of him, and dined with him ensconced in her lap for the entire rest of her meal. Aww.
And if that scarf and handbag she was rockin are really actually from a street vendor like they purport, well— go on with yer bad self, Famke.
You look fabulous!
• Idiohack Ben Leventhal (characteristically) swings joyously from Keith McNally’s testicles as he announces the news McNally will team with Nate Appleman on their new soon-to-open pizzeria project. - Dick Johnson
• Our intrepid heroine takes on (Idiohack Wonder Twins) Joshua David Stein and Josh Ozersky — where else? — in the comment section of New York Magazine’s GrubStreet. A Must Read! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, it’s better than Moby Dick. - Dick Johnson
• Anna Wintour offspring, Bee Shaffer with dad, David Shaffer — spotted walking into "the phone store" on 6th Ave (where everrrrybody fabulous buys/services their cellular phones) to inquire about — what else? — new cellular phones.
Oh, WHICH "phone store" you ask?
Well, if you have to ask, you must not be fabulous? In which case, Mike the phone store owner responds, "Puhleese. I have enough [overbearing, annoying, demanding, rich luddite moron] customers on my hands. Thanks, but no thanks." Evidently, Mike pays mucho moola in rent for his tiny store in its swanky location. He doesn’t mind the trickle — a flood he definitely doesn’t need. If you require his services, you’ll find him.
• Blogger Choire Sicha breaks the news about (his former boyfriend) Frank Bruni’s replacement at The New York Times. Aww….(?).
Heh, jerkfaced Gawker commentators who typically swing from Sicha’s testicles (since he used to blog for Gawker) didn’t even know Choire Sicha once dated Frank Bruni! Because, despite all their pretensions, a lot of Gawker commentators are just ignorant fucking idiots. - Vanilla Ice
• Adam Platt files his review of Graydon Carter’s Monkey Bar.
"… ‘I’m not supposed to say,’ the waiter whispered, before explaining, with a conspiratorial grin, that the front-room staff at Mr. Carter’s restaurant had been asked to sign confidentiality agreements when taking their jobs…."
Thanks a lot, Abbe. I guess other aspiring waiter cum memoirists are just shit outta luck, huh? - Vanilla Ice
= "personne extraordinaire"