PX This.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Osteria Morini

What was your first impression?
My first impression? –> Oh brother. (They were "closed for a private function from 6 to 8" on my first visit.)
My next first impression: The bartender’s really pretty.

Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Right away there are certain restaurant-specific details that don’t meet perspicacious-restaurateur standards, so that’s kinda odd. But then again Morandi falls short too, so maybe it’s some kind of bizarro trying-to-be-authentic-Italian (European restaurants are usually a mess) trend— what the hells do I know.
So I guess let’s just say that of the M&M&M’s (Morini, Morandi, and Maialino), Maialino wins. (Maialino is also the only one with proper stemware.)

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
I like the wine list— thoughtful, adventurous, and insightful. And reasonably priced. Especially since the final price printed on my check for my quartino was $2.50 less than the price specified on the list. So I dunno, maybe you wanna run over there and take full advantage before they figure out the discrepancy.
There didn’t seem to be a very many selections on the cocktail list, but now in retrospect, I wonder if I was looking at some kind of "digestif" list instead. It’s likely I have no idea what I’m talking about, so let’s skip this one for now.

Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s… really crammed. Maximizing their square footage while they’re in their new/hot stage? Could be. (Aaaand… again with the restaurant-specific details that are just slightly off.)

Please rate the BOH:
It’s okay.
But I suppose that’s the problem with heightened expectations; consequently, the disappointment is heightened too.

How was the staff?
Overall, satisfactory.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Speck and Bechamel Fritters : Not bad. But see, this is what I mean. Immediately my first thought is: Well, this place is certainly no Marea-Lite.
Polpettine : Good, but hardly extraordinary. Why do I keep looking for a little more oomph? You tell me.
Short curly-ish pasta (the name of which I don’t recall) with sausage and tomato sauce : Okay, now I’m decidedly disappointed. There’s nothing to this dish at all, and frankly it’s sort of bland. I mean, if I’m actually thinking right now that parmesan cheese would have been a vast improvement, that kinda says something. I aint no chef, goddammit. So how come I know for sure even I can make a better pasta than this.
Funghi : Dry, but the flavor’s fine. However— call me crazy, but is this just a wee bit of a gimmick mixing the cheap mushrooms with the more exotic ones? And why quartered, instead of sliced? Presentation-wise, it just seems sloppy. But that could be the whole trying-to-be-authentic-Italian ‘thing’ again. You know, like: when mamma cooks, she doesn’t really give a shit.
Brussel Sprouts : Dry again, but I guess they’re grilled. It’s not the way I prefer them personally, so I’ll just leave it at that.

What did you like?
I liked the white wine I had! I wasn’t familiar with it prior, so I was happy to find it pretty much matched its description perfectly.

What did you dislike?
Uhh… the ghost of Josh Ozersky? Ha ha ahaa, you knooow that mutherfukker probably practically lives here.
(*Side note: A great byproduct of Anne Burrell leaving my beloved Centro— she took her buddy with her.)

What was your last impression?
Tsk tsk, see that’s the problem with OpenTable sometimes. Three people at the podium, all with their faces so firmly planted up in that pie, not a single one of them can be bothered to say "goodnight." (And yeah, I looked back again halfway out the door with it open, and still nobody even glanced our way.)

Would you come back?
Mmm, wellll… if it’s between the Emineminems, it’ll likely be proximity that makes the final decision for me. (That, or my guests.)

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Yah, thanks.

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