PX This.

Last night, Chelsea newcomer Hotel Americano hosted a preview cocktail party for a "small gathering" of 20 40 180 260 or so of its closest friends. Although it has several private events lined up over the next few weeks, it is not slated to open to the public until July. The Mexico-based Grupo Habita Hotel Americano will house a French-inspired Latin restaurant with outdoor patio space on the main level, two indoor bar/lounges, and an additional restaurant/lounge on the roof (along with a lap swimming pool).

* * * * *

Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me- The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com

You must see Sleep No More. Don’t think about it, don’t make excuses, don’t hesitate— just do as I did, and take a friendly suggestion from your discerning buddy with excellent taste who really knows what she’s talking about.

Oh but here’s a little tip: when they try to break your party up with the whole playing card rigmarole thingie at the very beginning— eh, don’t go for it, just pretend you don’t know each other. I mean yes it’s true, it’s supposed to be "an individual theatre experience," but knowing you die-hard urban impatient tech-obsessed Foursquare-addicted GPS-loving little buggers, you’d be so distracted trying to find your pal(s) all night, it’d likely ruin the whole experience for you anyway.

I can just imagine you right now surreptitiously texting each other from far-flung corners of the "hotel"— "Where ARE you? I’m on the 5th floor in the forest maze… near the graveyard… by the bright blue light, where are YOU? I’m in the sanitarium… near the children’s ward, meet me in the cradle room with the baby effigies dangling from the ceiling…" I mean come on now.

Afterward, take the same great advice I did, and have a good bottle of wine and pizza at Ovest across the way. I dare you to wear your mask through dinner— no, I’m kidding.

Okay, run along and buy your tickets now. You’re welcome!

:)

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
Oh, this and that.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About three or four.

What made you choose Vieques for this vacation?
Advertising! Ha ahaa, I wish I were kidding, but really I’m not.
We’ve been to a bunch of other Caribbean islands before and we totally love the convenience of the short flight durations. Well, this time we wanted to try something new, and so naturally Puerto Rico came to mind because of its advantageous location. Unfortunately, although a visit to (Old) San Juan seemed appealing, it isn’t exactly known for its awesome beaches, and also the notion of the Ritz Carlton as the typical New Yorkers’ Caribbean playground just seemed a bit tired and kinda played-out.
That sorta narrowed it down to Islas Vieques and Culebra. And I gotta admit, one gander at the new W Resort’s promotional video had me completely sold at pressing "play." Seriously— check that shit out and see if you’re not packing your bags before the 4:49 minutes are all wrapped up.
So, we planned our vacation in Vieques with a one-night stay in San Juan on our way back home.

And where did you stay?
The W Retreat & Spa on Vieques Island, and the San Juan Water & Beach Club ("The Water Club") in Isla Verde.

How were the ambience, service, and amenities, etc?
The W was pretty awesome. Beautiful, chic, and contemporary with a creative ambience and a hip, stylish crowd. The service was mostly excellent— attentive and conscientious but casual— and the food was great nine times out of ten. They’re right on point with a lot of special little details that other high-priced hotels tend to overlook. I really liked it a lot.

The Water Club was okay. It was recommended by a pretty savvy friend, and it was perfect for the one night, but I couldn’t imagine enjoying it for any longer than that. But, for people who want that groovy Ian Schrager ambience at Howard Johnson prices, it’s a very good choice. They sure got their funky goin’ on, but the rooms are small and the walls are thin. I would imagine it was quite the little hotspot when it first opened, but at this point it’s starting to look a tad worse for wear. They are currently renovating the "famous" rooftop pool/bar though, so maybe it’s aiming for a comeback or something.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Sigh, welllll… there was the New Years Eve debacle. I mean, yeah yeaahh, I get it— it’s New Years Eve, so that means it’s Hose the Clientele Night, right? The W’s "Alain Ducasse‘s" Mix on the Beach was already fully booked for dinner, so we got sold the "Burgers and Bubbles" poolside package at $125.00 person, which was supposedly "all you can eat" and "all you can drink." Well, the drinks ended up being mostly pre-made cocktail crap-garbage and even if you could manage to eat three burgers a piece, it’s hardly worth 125 bucks.
Which, ya know, might have been fine anyways, except I had specifically inquired "So there’s nothing available à la carte here this evening?" and the mutherfukking manager LIED to me. He straight-up told me "no, nothing" to my face, but in fact the Living Room bar was open as usual and functioning regularly with its condensed Mix on the Beach "bar menu." Granted, it wasn’t a full dinner menu, but it sure as hell beat pre-paid fucking $125 burgers. So, the fact that I could have had a good bottle of wine and nibbles of my choice for $250.00 instead, needless-to-say really pissed me off.
But the midnight fireworks show was nice.

Oh and the one night we did opt for the full dinner at Mix, it sucked. But it was January 2nd, so I guess the head chef took the night off, probably worn out from working the height of the season the whole time straight through. I say that because all the other meals we had at The W were wonderful, so the contrast of that dinner (and actually come to think of it, breakfast the following day too) was really quite evident. It was so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised if the dishwasher was the only one left in the kitchen cooking.

The only other thing I can think of is drinks at the San Juan Ritz Carlton pool bar. Sour mix in the margaritas— rilly? And ordering the Chips with Salsa and Guacamole was a big mistake. Most of the corn chips were dyed red and green (so corny— haa, corny, get it?) and on top of that ridiculous nonsense, they were stale. Plus the guacamole was awful and I didn’t even touch the salsa because it looked gray, I am not even kidding.
Dude, it’s supposed to be the fucking Ritz! Come on now.

Any great standout experiences?

The trip was fantastic overall.

Oh but I should also mention the cute little restaurant in Esperanza called Trade Winds, though. Just simple and rustic, but with really terrific food (and a nice, but very reasonably priced wine list). Evidently, their lobster is famous (and it was delicious!) and they had the best mofongo I’ve ever eaten in my life (apparently, not to be confused with Dominican mofongo, though).

Later in Old San Juan, this nice saleslady in a sunglasses store recommended this seafood restaurant called Aquaviva and it was fantastic. We’d asked for "a good place, not a tourist place," and so she told us about this one, plus another one called Parrot Club. She also mentioned a French restaurant the name of which I can’t recall now, it was something something Onze, which makes me think it was maybe Neuf Dix Onze (?) but I tried googling it and got nothing. If you happen to be in the area and want to give it a try, it’s right up Calle Fortaleza from both Aquaviva and Parrot Club.

How much did you blow all week?
The hotel (suite, ocean view) was about $5000 including taxes, resort fees, etc, but not including meals and incidentals. Airfare from JFK to/from San Juan was about $700 each (booked only two weeks in advance) and additional $240 each from San Juan to/from Vieques. Meals and drinks for two were I dunno, I guess $200 to $300 per day including gratuities.

GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]

Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX Me -The Sequel to PX This. If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX Me (coming soon).

And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]

[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]

"Miami Beach… Nobu… Jeremy Piven…"

tue 12.28.05: seasons greetings!

well i had a really really fun holiday, maybe the funnest holiday ever!
marc-bagutta and i went to miami beach for a few days. of course we stayed at The Raleigh as usual. it’s always our first preference because all our favorite new yorkers are running that place. and it’s pretty too.

anyhoo the whole trip was great, joey-krutel entertained us the entire time. our first night we had dinner at China Grill because apparently ingrid-casares and tommy-pooch throw the wednesday night parties there. China Grill was a little better than i expected, it was actually quite satisfying. the menu looks really expensive— until the courses arrive and you see how big the food is. like for example one salad is a mountain of lettuce enough to feed an army of bunnies.

the next night we had drinks at The Sagamore and then dinner at Prime112. with jeremy-piven!
i was totally psyched because it was just last week i was telling marc-bagutta that Entourage is my new HBO obsession, i even dragged him out of bed at 10pm last sunday to make him watch it with me. so it was great that i had an Entourage anecdote to share with jeremy-piven.

jeremy-piven is really nice and he actually looks much better and younger in real life than on teevee. evidently he was just nominated for a golden-glob for best supporting actor so yay for jeremy-piven.
Prime112 is cute and all i suppose, but the food kinda sucked— marc-bagutta’s chicken was flavorless, my spinach was overcooked and salty, and my filet mignon was dry as a bone even though it was medium rare. it was tough and cartilagey too, if i picked it up and tossed it across the table i could have given jeremy-piven a black eye. but of course it was all gigantic portions, i guess that’s just a miami thing. quantity, not quality.

afterward we all went to Privé. but it was completely empty so instead we went to Opium Garden which is really the downstairs/outside section of the same nightclub but it has a different name and entrance. it’s sorta pretty actually. anyhoo Opium Garden was totally packed. or maybe it just seemed that way because every trick and ho in the place came by to shake their T’s and A’s at jeremy-piven and then they would crowd around and congregate trying to look nonchalant.
ha ha ahaa the funniest was when this real estate broker friend of joey-krutel commented "omygawd they busted out jeremy-piven for all the little jewish girls."

the next night was even more fun, joey-krutel invited us to another dinner with jeremy-piven, this time at Nobu. Nobu was eh but i must say i think it was probably the "hottest" ugly restaurant i have ever seen in my life.

joey-krutel also brought sofia-vergara to be the date of jeremy-piven, she is a hott latin star. i know this because back in 1997 i got a phonecall at the geld-iaz flagship boutique from sofia-vergara’s "manager," he was trying to get free clothes for her— he told me how she is "crossing over," she is like the "model/actress version of selena."
see here’s a photo of jeremy-piven at Nobu, and that’s sofia-vergara on his left behind the glass.

yah so after dinner lance-burstyn was supposed to drive jeremy-piven straightaway to Mansion (which is also owned by Opium/Privé) because they had named him the official "host" of the party but jeremy-piven wanted to ride with sofia-vergara (and friend) instead. sofia-vergara decided to make a pitstop at Casa Tua on the way, so she kidnapped jeremy-piven.

but lance-burstyn was not at all amused, because Casa Tua is an ingrid-casares joint but it was Mansion that paid Nobu to feed jeremy-piven. and guests (that’s us). lance-burstyn rolled down the window to scold sofia-vergara but she retorted: "wellll he saaay he want to comb weeth ausss…"
so of course we all had to pitstop too because lance-burstyn was "babysitting." sofia-vergara took jeremy-piven upstairs to meet ingrid-casares but the party was pretty quiet so we all bounced fifteen minutes later. lance-burstyn was pleased about that so he was assuaged, he snickered "ha nice try ingrid."

then we all went to Mansion. but hee eheee lance-burstyn got agitated again because sofia-vergara eschewed the valet and went searching for a parking space with jeremy-piven. so as her SUV was disappearing up the block, lance-burstyn was cursing something like "where the fuck is she going geezus christ sofia can i PAY the fucking 20 dollars?"
finally jeremy-piven and sofia-vergara (and friend) came stumbling around the corner and we were all swept inside and it was great, lance-burstyn had a big table with bottles and glassware and the whole shebang. and again like 10,000 hos came by just to jiggle their booties and put on a BIG SHOW for jeremy-piven.
it was all very easy and faboolous though and now i am totally spoiled from being part of jeremy-piven’s entourage all weekend, it makes me want to make like a new year’s resolution: either i roll PX goddammit or i just don’t roll at all.

the next day lance-burstyn stood us up, he must have completely forgotten he insisted on lunch. so marc-bagutta and i went to The Delano instead. where we ran into boris & barbara-becker with their two adorable miniaturized supermodelly sons.
it was great, jeremy-piven happened by as i was chatting with barbara and i introduced them so then i looked faboolous. later jeremy-piven told me he was totally sweating barbara-becker, he wanted to kick it to her so he was bummed he didn’t realize in time boris and barbara are divorced or he would have kicked harder.

then we left miami beach and we got lucky (yay!) we scored the last two seats on an earlier plane because our original one was delayed we could have been stuck at the airport for three hours because of the snowstorms. one of the flight attendants looked just like a big young james-gandolfini so the whole voyage was a real bug out watching tony-soprano point out the emergency exits and demonstrate proper usage of life vests and serve beverages and cookies. i really wanted a snapshot of him too but he scared me so i didn’t get one.

* * * * *

pxthis.com archives

This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on December 28, 2005, for web archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account may be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Coming Soon in the Spring of 2011)

* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez

GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]

Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX Me -The Sequel to PX This. If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX Me(coming soon).

And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]

[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]

"St. Barth… Isle de France… Billy Joel…"

sun 01.16.05: … so our first day was fun we roamed around the grounds with billy-joel and katie-lee and their two scrunch faced pugs, and they told all about how they looove st.barth— they got engaged there and then went back a few months ago and got married there too.
oh and by "grounds" i mean the Isle de France. see, when johnny-podell originally invited us to his "place in st. barth’s" i assumed he meant his house but what he really meant was his big private residence club dual-villa 2BR 2BA with outdoor kitchen/dining and private pool at The Hotel St. Barth – Isle De France on the Baie de Flamands that he visits regularly seven times a year (duh).

that night after we settled in, johnny-podell took us to Le Ti for dinner. which was nice. i might have enjoyed it more if we didn’t almost plunge off a cliff and die on the way there. [you think i'm kidding oh i so am not.]
Le Ti is big (with three separate dining rooms) and it’s all red and velvet and really loud music, it even has its own boutique that carries "sexy" type clothing all in like fur and leather. [yes i said fur and leather. in the caribbean. whatevs!]
evidently the boutique has a fashion show every saturday night and then around midnight peoples start to go crazy dancing all over the place, even on the tabletops.
anyways that was our first night.

the next day was sunday it rained all day so we went into Gustavia and we had lunch at Nikki Beach. Nikki Beach is cute and fabulous, it’s right on the Baie de St.Jean and it’s all white with beds and drapes just like you’d expect. i’ve noticed the boudoir thing is really popular these days (Bed, Duvet, Shore Club, etc) but personally i can’t stand it. i mean i get it, it’s supposed to be "hot" and "sexy" and comfy and all, but really when i see peoples all lounged about with their feet and limbs and asses and whatnot sprawled all out like roadkill while they are dining out in public i think it just looks kinda hideous.
like for example, when acquaintances visit you in your home you don’t generally receive them in your private quarters unless maybe you’re sick in bed or something, yes? so when i see this eating-in-bed fad becoming all the rage i just have to wonder what comes next— dining while squatting on toilets maybe.

yah so, then that night we had dinner at K’fé Massaï which from what i gather, is the favorite restaurant of all the native st.barthelemese. the menu is simple, just three prix fixe menus (at €29, €39, and €49) consisting of three courses each and the food is very good.

then it was monday and the sun was shining so we chilled at the beach. and it was great, billy-joel came over and plopped to chitchat. and he told us all about how he and his wife are going to donald-trump‘s wedding, but he "wouldn’t have realized" he was expected to sing at the reception had he not picked up a newspaper one morning and read all about it. so then apparently billy-joel decided to make up a song about The Donald, he even busted out with part of the little ditty for us.
it was really amusing and i would love to tell all about it but i don’t want some gossip rag to come along and read this and "scoop" the story and print billy-joel’s song lyrics and ruin the wedding surprise. maybe i will google the wedding date and then i will tell about the lyrics that day instead.

anyhoo billy-joel also said how his wife katie is an "incredible chef" and a "real foodie," so i gave her a copy of PX This (hee ehee i didn’t tell her i wrote it, of course) and she told me all about how she is working on some teevee pilot thingie with david-rosengarten called "A Matter of Taste," and she is thinking of doing some sort of book thingie too.

anyways so then later that night johnny-podell, marc-bagutta, and i went for dinner at Maya‘s because katie & billy-joel raved about it, they said they’d dined there last saturday night.
Maya’s was very quaint and provincial. and we just happened to run into billy-joel and katie in the parking lot on their way out after dinner, so apparently they liked it so much they dined there again. katie recommended "the fig and mozzarella salad" and "the salmon" to me so that’s what i ordered. johnny-podell remarked he’s been there a few times already and he always sees lots of stars like chevy-chase and jack-nicholson and harvey-weinstein and other peoples like that all the time.

on tuesday it was windy so we decided to go to a different beach called Saline (pronounced suh-leen not say-leen). and we had lunch at a really cute cafe that had great burgers but i can’t remember its name now. which is really terrible of me, so if you happen to be in st.barth and you want to try it, it’s right next door to L’Esprit Salines.
during lunch we met the nice woman who runs the Vintage store in Gustavia and she told us Saline Beach is windy too, so she sent us to a different beach instead called Governeur which is way up the mountain and back down again and the beach was very pretty indeed but unfortunately we almost got killed on the drive back. twice.

then on wednesday we shopped in Gustavia all day and drove all over the island. that’s the thing in st.barth, you see. driving driving and more fucking driving. we stopped for a drink at the hotel Carl Gustaf. very pretty.

then marc-bagutta and i had a sunset cocktail back at the Isle De France and billy-joel came over to join us and ordered a "mojito sans sucre avec swit and lo." i vaguely recall he mentioned something about performing at The Beacon soon. and he also commented something about singers getting old and losing their pipes, i can’t remember exactly because i was a little nervous and starstruck and drunk.
but i did notice billy-joel spoke with a cute little european accent so i think maybe he is learning french now or something, he has that strange "assimilation" affliction that peoples who speak perfect english sometimes get when they are conversing with foreigners.

then later we had dinner at La Vela which came highly recommended by the Hotel St.Barth. it was okay. it was designed to look kinda like a boat inside with little portholes and everything.
thursday we had lunch at Dõ Brazil on Shell Beach. i had ribs and fries and a "bailey’s colada."

later that evening during our new st.barth sunset cocktail tradition, we met carlos-sandoval who is a filmmaker and Sundance award winner. he’s really nice. a bit later johnny-podell sat down to join us and then so did billy-joel and katie-lee. billy-joel said "jimmy-buffet is in town" and so they were on their way to meet him for dinner at Maya’s.

finally friday night was dinner at L’Esprit Salines with johnny-podell, marc-bagutta, and a group of friends from NYC we’d run into on the beach earlier in the week— one of them was scooter-weintraub who manages sheryl-crowe. that night was the most fun of all, they took us to see the big beautiful house they always rent whenever they visit st.barth and then they gave me a tiny polka dotted bobble headed turtle as a gift, just because they could tell i really liked it.

the next morning we heard we totally missed an impromptu billy-joel concert at Le Gaïac at Hotel Le Toiny, he performed Georgia On My Mind, evidently because the house piano singer had already sung New York State of Mind.

fri 01.28.05: … thanks for reminding me about billy-joel’s trump wedding song lyrics.

i noticed the donald/melania wedding pictures on lots of covers of papers and magazines and stuffs but i didn’t really read the pages upon pages and pages of articles so i have no idea whether billy-joel’s wedding surprise was written about anywheres or if he even did get to sing it after all. well it’s been over week now so i don’t remember the words so clearly but i do recall billy-joel saying when he discovered he would be singing at the reception he decided to write a little ditty to perform called That’s Why the Donald is a Trump. and the part he performed for us went a little something like this (sung to the tune of That’s Why the Lady is a Tramp):

if he likes you/ maybe he’ll hire you
but watch your back/ he might turn around and fire you.
that’s why the donald is a trump.

what’s with that hair/ and that crazy combover
and smack in the middle is this clump
that’s why the donald is a trump.

* * * * *

pxthis.com archives

This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on January 16 and 18, 2005, for web archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account may be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Coming Soon in the Spring of 2011)

* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Weekend Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And how often do you travel on weekends, generally?
It varies, but my goal is every eight weeks.

What made you choose Miami Beach for this getaway?
It’s the sixth borough of NYC!

And where did you stay?
The W. I’ve already tried most of South Beach’s better hotels; it was next on the list.

How were the ambience, service, and amenities, etc?
Very good. Better than I expected. The rooms are spacious, sagacious, and chic.
And unbelievably quiet. So many of the "hip" hotels in this area have loud, rowdy weekend parties all night long— great if you’re a butcher looking for some meat; horrible if you’d just like to get some sleep.
The W is no exception; their poolside bar/lounge is pumpin til the wee hours. But the really impressive thing is that you just slide those massive glass doors shut and you don’t hear a single sound. No joke, I slept better this weekend than I have most places in my lifetime. Yes, even my own current apartment.

The other great thing is the balconies are huge and beautifully furnished. Even the ones in front of the building that face the parking lot are angled toward the ocean. I mean, how come nobody ever thought of that before?
It used to be The Setai (and then maybe The Fountainbleu, after renovation) was the only truly top-notch world-class hotel in South Beach. Well, believe it or not, The W in Miami Beach comes really really close. Generally, I’m not a fan of W hotels (although I remember the one is Seoul is pretty kick-ass). But I must admit this particular W has definitely got its shit together.

Even the service all over was excellent.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Well, does it kinda irk me you pay about $600/night for a room, and they can’t even give you free WiFi? Sure it does; trifling nickel-and-diming bitches. Fortunately I’m always packin my own travel hotspot, so it wasn’t a major issue— but ya know, it’s the principle.

Also, I don’t understand why the lobby has to be below 40 degrees all the goddamned time. I guess it’s to keep all the meat fresh.

Any great standout experiences?
I did go to a new restaurant this time. Normally it’s all the usual suspects— The Restaurant at The Setai, Nobu, Mr. Chow, etc— but this time one of the beach-valet-whatever dudes recommended a Japanese place I’d never tried before called Daraku. Apparently it’s some sort of Rocky Aoki endeavor, and it was pretty good. Similar to Nobu but at half the price, I am not even kidding.

We were told the Ahi Poke was "to die for," but it actually turned out a wee too salty (drowning in soy sauce), but the Hamachi Tiradito was exceptional. The Rock Shrimp was okay (Nobu style, except with sauce on the side instead) and the Red Dragon Roll was very delicious. The rest of it was decent, and the ambience wasn’t bad either (if you don’t mind it kinda clamorous).
Supposedly it’s a big hit with the locals (read: the Miami Beach F&B industry) and it must be true, because it’s the only place I can recall in recent memory that didn’t include the gratuity automatically.

Oh! And I got to swim with the sardines!
I guess it’s the season for the Great Sardine Migration, and on the first day we watched from the balcony as a massive school of sardines traveled along the shoreline. The coolest part was when it looked like they were about to overtake this pelican that was just chillin on the surface of the ocean, but at the very last second, the sardines swam completely around the pelican!

Well, that’s exactly what happened to us too, the following day the sardines overtook us, they seemed close enough to just reach out and touch. There must have been millions of them— and right when it seemed a wave was headed straight for you and you were just about to get smacked in the face with a tide of flippery fish, they would all abruptly change direction and miss you entirely. It was one of the neatest things I’ve ever seen.
Oh but I don’t know if the poor sardines were lost or what, because one day they were heading north, but the very next day they were swimming south. So, figure that one out.

How much did you blow all weekend?
It was a four-day weekend so I guess about $4500-$5000 including airfare.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[Continued from "My Week Off: Portofino / Camogli"]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About four or five.

What made you choose Paris for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez, continued on to Cap d’Antibes, Cap Ferrat, Monte Carlo, Portofino and Camogli. Rather than fly directly from New York to Paris to Nice in one trip, an overnight stay in Paris at the start seemed like a good idea.

And where did you stay?
At The Four Seasons George V. But only because I figured, "Why not?"
I’ve visited Paris numerous times and have already experienced many of the most popular choices— The Ritz Carlton, Plaza Athenee, Hotel Crillon, Hotel Costes, and Hotel Vendôme – Place Vendôme. And although Mama Shelter and Hotel Artus seemed like intriguing options, for a one night stay they would simply have been impractical for their distances from the "center" of Paris. So, that left Le Meurice and George V, and for the lack of substantial price disparity, George V won my decision due to their renowned reputation for superlative service.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Very good. Obviously, Four Seasons generally isn’t for everyone, as it does have a tendency toward pomposity or stuffiness. But the service certainly did live up to its stellar prestige. Even though we arrived a full five hours before official check-in time, they bent over backward to accommodate us and make us feel welcomed. Absolutely every person we encountered from the front desk to the dining room to room service was as warm, affable, and professional as could be. It’s not hard to see why for discerning travelers of a certain taste, George V ranks among the top in the world. (And believe me, the "five star" rating really has nothing to do with it— I’ve visited many a so-called "five star" before, only to be repulsed by glaring shortcomings.)

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Ha ha ha ahaa oh my lord. This one has got to be up there as a traveling glitch of a lifetime.

Yah so— okay, I knew I was spending one night in Paris. Well, I wanted to pick a nice restaurant for dinner, duh.
So I tried to do a little research beforehand, because I wanted to dine "like a hip and savvy local." I thought I found several that seemed alluring (Yam’Tcha, Thomieux, Frenchie, e.g.), but then a friend of a friend who resides in Paris suggested something else.
Now, I never pick a restaurant based merely on what I’ve read. EVER. Come on, that would be like the antithesis of PX This. So, when this suggestion came via a resident of Paris, I assumed I was safely in the clear— of having to dine like some kind of oblivious, misinformed, rabid, incognizant, stupid lemming-like Foodie. Hah! As it turns out, the restaurant proposed to me was Le Chateaubriand— because it’s "hot." Ranked No.11 of "The World’s 50 Best Restaurants" no less!
Well, alls I can say is: ugh, christ. I don’t know whether it’s sad or comforting to know NYC doesn’t hold the monopoly on idiotarded "food press."

Also: I didn’t realize "hot" was meant literally, otherwise I surely would not have gone. It was about 100 degress in that restaurant (no exaggeration) and they have neither an air conditioner, ceiling fan, table top oscillator, or manual fucking palm frond. I can assure you its ranking amongst the "Best Restaurants in the World" is a brazen slap across the face to restaurateurs everywhere— particularly to those who are ignorant enough to spend hundreds of thousands (or millions) of dollars on ridiculous amenities and services that pander to the fruitless comfort of their patronage.

When we first arrived at 9PM (because I was told reservations are not accepted for "second seating, but you are allowed to wait") we were informed it’s "too early" and to "come back at 9:30" (despite our asking if we could order a drink and stand at the seatless bar instead). So we took a stroll around the block and returned at 9:25, only to find five full parties now ahead of us on line. (Yah, that’s right— there’s no host nor waiting list nor any door management of any kind). Were we not so far away from our hotel and not spent nearly €20.00 on cab fare to get here, we would have just left. But, we didn’t. Instead, we stayed and stood and sweated like animals. I’m not kidding. And it was of little consolation that all the English speaking tourists all around us (fresh from having plucked their noses off the internet) were sweating like hairy beasts too.

About an hour later, we finally sat down. (Evidently, the genius "first and second seating" system had the kitchen solidly slammed. Best restaurants! My ASS.) But whatever—
Fish, bean puree (that, actually, was pretty tasty— the best thing all night), fried fish, fish, fish, and pigeon. Yes, I said pigeon. Tough, cartilagey, gamey, flavorless, pedestrian, bloody, pigeon. (Oh, did I mention you don’t get to choose what you eat? They only make "one meal" a day. Mmhmmp, BEST restaurants! You stupid, overspending, budget-allocating, chef-indulging, micro-managing asshole, you!)
But that didn’t stop the customers at three tables surrounding me from snapping photographs of their food. Yes, that’s right, I’ve died and gone to Foodie-Blogger Hell.
On top of all that, the cheap rosé (from Spain?) by the glass gave me a splitting headache.

Okay, don’t get me wrong— was the food horrible? No, it wasn’t horrible. But it wasn’t extraordinary either— certainly nowhere near remotely deserving of a title that ranks it No.11 in the world. Top 50 Concepts ("highly trained chef wants to open inexpensive accessible restaurant blah blah blah") maybe, but Top 50 Restaurants? Oh, hells no.
By my (knowledgeable, insightful, sagacious) standards, it doesn’t even rate a recommendation to a local resident, much less one traveling from outside the country.

In short, yah— that was a disappointment.

Oh but— you wanna hear something kinda crazy?
On one of my nights in St Tropez, my hosts were invited to dine at a friend’s home, and so I got to tag along. Wow, it was one of the most gorgeous summer estates I’ve ever seen, and the owners were sweet, and kind, and gracious, and positively scintillating. Anyhoo—
as we’re sitting down to dinner, they inform us their live-in chef at their summer home was once a contestant on the very first season of Top Chef M6 (the French version of Bravo’s American Top Chef). Actually, what I could swear they said was "the winner" of Top Chef, but later when I googled Romain Tishcenko, I can’t exactly say for sure that was the guy I met that night, whose name I can’t remember, especially since I never got his surname. I mean, maybe it is (it’s possible), but I’m just not entirely sure.
In any case, he served a nice seasonal salad and penne with bottarga. It was pretty good!
Oh but my point is: apparently Romain Tischenko used to work guess where! Uh huh, Le Chateaubriand. I mean— is that kinda freaky or what. Imagine if I’d sat at the dinner table and recounted my Parisian escapade to all the Parisiennes? Ha ha aha hah ugh.
I did tell the chef however, that I know at least one American "top chef" very well, and then I invited him to visit NYC. Maybe he’ll come!

Any great standout experiences?
I did stop in for drinks at Bar228 at Le Meurice. That was nice, I suppose.
Oh but, be forewarned they have something of an exclusivity policy in case you ever decide to go. I mean— I was seated immediately (and so was the puppy right behind me), but then I overheard a party arriving five minutes later being told the tables "are all reserved." It’s probably a dress code and/or beautiful people thing.

The only other really great standout experience I want to mention was the flight itself!
I distinctly recall a couple years ago blogging about a trip to London or something, wherein I vehemently pronounced "British Airways sucks dick." And then I went on to rave my head off over Virgin Atlantic.
Well! I don’t know if British Airways heard me or what, but evidently they went and launched this "all business class" subsidiary airline called Open Skies. Open Skies kicks ass! They only have two sections, Business Bed and Business Seat— and both are extremely comfortable but cost far less than a regular business class seat on the other airlines I attempted to book. [Also, supposedly the food is by Michel Richard if you care about that sort of thing.] It was seriously awesome and made the flight just whizzzz by.
Whatever, I’m just saying.

How much did you blow all week?
Eh. Whatever it was, it was well worth it.

**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
• My Week Off: Monte Carlo
• My Week Off: Portofino / Camogli

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[Continued from "My Week Off: Monte Carlo"]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About four or five.

What made you choose Portofino for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez, continued on to Cap d’Antibes, Cap Ferrat, Monte Carlo, and then Portofino and Camogli…

And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera, Ligurian, and Amalfi Coasts as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Sigh. From here Black Sea travels onward to Corsica and Sardinia. Sadly, without me. Sob!

Any great standout experiences?
Uh, dude, I’m in Portofino! How much greater can it get?
But, okay— I must say the shopping is pretty terrific. Portofino has all the usual inveiglements (Dior, Vuitton, and Missoni… oh my!) but for some reason, everything is only about 2/3 the price of everywhere else in the world. And yah, that’s with taking the euro/dollar exchange rate into account, too. I’m not sure why exactly, but I surmise it may have something to do with a distinct dearth of wealthy shoppers frequenting Portofino (it’s not exactly 5th Ave or Place Vendôme, you see).

The other wonderful fortuitous thing was there just happened to be a live public concert taking place right on the port this evening. Pagliacci, no less! Yes, imagine sitting outdoors having dinner on the banks of Portofino being serenaded by the beautiful strains of the opera on this lovely balmy evening as the stars twinkle in the sky and the coastal breeze caresses your face. Waiter, un altro strega, per favore.

Speaking of dinner, it was at The Chuflay at Splendido Mare (but only because La Terrazza was already fully booked). And I must say it was fantastic. Undoubtedly the best meal all week, and on par with some of the most outstanding in my lifetime. The pasta service was especially impressive— Italian fine dining with a flair of French exhibition. Even the wine, Vie de Romans (Chardonnay from Friuli), turned out to be a great discovery for me at a very reasonable asking price. All in all, a truly flawless evening.

[For all the yachters out there however--- be forewarned. The Marina di Portofino, as amiable and welcoming to the vessels as they are, leave much to be desired in terms of basic services (particularly for the docking costs). Like water and electricity for example. I'm just saying.]

The following day was a short cruise to Camogli La Spiaggia, which had some of the most gorgeous swimming waters I’ve ever encountered.

How much did you blow all week?
Pssh. At this point, who cares?

**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
• My Week Off: Monte Carlo
• My Week Off: Paris

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[Continued from "My Week Off: Cap d'Antibes/Cap Ferrat"]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a businessman [and entrepreneur] with substantial financial interests in the F&B Industry.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
I try as best I can to get away, even if briefly, every eight to ten weeks. It doesn’t always work out that way.

What made you choose Monte Carlo for this vacation?
Actually, I was invited. I’ve been to Monaco before, so it probably wouldn’t have been my choice for this particular getaway. It ended up working out advantageously though, because I was able to meet with a potential business associate I’d previously met in NYC, who happens to have his primary residence in Monte Carlo.

And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Everything was as perfect as it could possibly be. ["The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels 'like an Ian Schrager hotel,' which is precisely the way I've heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I've witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes..."]

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
I probably should have made my business meeting shorter or planned it differently? But, that’s a whole other story…

Any great standout experiences?
Sadly, not really.
The overall experience of traveling aboard Black Sea is incredibly gratifying. Unfortunately, however, I can’t say this particular visit to Monte Carlo was equally remarkable. Aside from my meeting being ill-timed and ill-conceived, the dining experience for our one evening in Monte Carlo was a bit disappointing as well.

I’m not exactly sure where the recommendation originated, but it was initially suggested we dine at La Trattoria— a new Italian restaurant by Alain Ducasse, located at Le Sporting Monte-Carlo. As you might imagine, the concept of this alone, as an experienced NYC-based restaurateur, is somewhat amusing at best. Too bad we couldn’t get a reservation.

So, the next option on the list was Fuji, a "pop-up" version of its regular venue that takes up residence at Le Sporting Monte-Carlo during the summer months. Apparently, the staff is flown in from Japan right before the season starts, which would explain why they seem to be much more proficient at foreign English than Monaco’s native French. It likely also sheds light on its conspicuous disorganization. And even perhaps its particularly exorbitant prices, which woefully, are not reflected in either the quality of the food, service, or ambience.

[Rather ironically, you must literally traverse the entire length of La Trattoria's interior in order to reach the entrance to Fuji.]

Afterward, a short stop at Hotel de Paris for a digestif did not fare any better. We ended up there, because the numerous people of varying tastes within our party could not agree on our next locale. It was "too early" for Jimmy’z, and hot spot Sass Café was deemed "too political" for its conduciveness to encountering disagreeable acquaintances and/or other social banes. Ultimately, Hotel de Paris was chosen for its proximity to the casino.
And what a mistake that was. I can’t speak for everyone, but sipping espresso in Times Square, for example, is not my idea of fun. (Clearly, the Russians don’t agree with me.)

How much did you blow all week?
This was in fact only one night within the week. Luckily, I didn’t spend that much in total, but regrettably, this night’s experience still could not vindicate the cost.

**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

[ Continued from "My Week Off : St. Tropez..." ]

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Okay, as a certain somebody pointed out to me yesterday, I guess it’s really more like four or five.

What made you choose Cap d’Antibes and Cap Ferrat for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez; Cap d’Antibes and Cap Ferrat were simply two more stops along the voyage…

And where did you stay?
Still aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.

And its crew is unbelievably gracious, diligent, and hospitable. (Not bad to look at, either. Haaa.)

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Aside from the trip being far too short? No.
Oh, there’s the food thing— there’s way too much of it. Breakfast, a meal I never eat, is the most problematic. Where I’d much prefer simply three consecutive cups of coffee, there is instead a daily sumptuous buffet of European delectables. And in the company of generous Turkish hosts, to decline is practically an insult. Thank goodness for the available selection of fresh fruits and juices, or I likely would have gained ten pounds.

Any great standout experiences?
I’m getting to be so much better a swimmer! No, really.
See, evidently, boating/yachting is so ingrained in Turkish (and Greek) cultures that everybody swims like dolphins in the sea practically from the day they’re born, I am not even kidding. The first time I traveled aboard the Black Sea, I was a vastly pitiful swimmer in comparison— it was really embarrassing. I mean, even though my form is fine, I have very little stamina in the water. Therefore, this time the mere idea of swimming smack out there in the middle of the Mediterranean again at plunging depths of god-knows-what was still a downright harrowing experience to me. I am not at all exaggerating when I say my hosts (and their friends) dive right into water at nearly every port and swim for miles on end with nary a care in the world. So, you either have to keep up at some semblance of competence, or forever be labeled the histrionic, unworldly city-dweller who would drown in a puddle of saliva.

Well, the truly amazing thing about the Mediterranean is it resembles our Atlantic and Pacific Oceans not a wee bit. It’s fantastically placid and, in some places, as warm as your bath. You’d have to be an histrionic, unworldy city-dweller who would drown in a puddle of saliva to not appreciate and take advantage of its splendor.
Believe it or not, two summers ago I swam from the shores of the island of Symi to the Black Sea, at a distance approximately equal to 3/4 the way across the Hudson River to New Jersey (even though I was pretty much kinda scared to death). Later, in retrospect, I realized it was an utterly stupid thing for me to attempt at my skill level and vowed never to do it again.
So okay, I didn’t accomplish that same feat during this expedition, but I do dare say I came pretty close!

Anyway, my point is: Wow, Cap Ferrat was a really great place to swim— overall of all the places I’ve bobbed in the Mediterranean by now, I’d probably rank it tied for second or third.
(Also: I think Brigitte Bardot lives here and Bill Gates has a home here too or something.)

As for Cap d’Antibes— apparently, from what I surmise, it’s a huge hit with travelers who love the South of France, but "detest St Tropez" (that’s a direct quote). Sooo, it’s kinda like people who hate the Meatpacking District but love the West Village. I guess.

Unfortunately, it was a short visit so I only tried one restaurant. It was called L’Oursin and came highly recommended to us by a friend of my hosts. It a had a great outdoor dining area in the plaza (next to the carousel) as well as a large indoor restaurant. Primarily seafood— grilled fish and shellfish, with meat and pasta dishes available too. Personally, my moules avec frites were delicious and fresh, but the serving size was gigantic— which was kinda weird to me, because I thought the French weren’t into that sort of thing. Also, the escalope avec pasta bolognese was pretty good too, but again, enough to feed at least two people. Don’t even get me started on the salade de fruits de mer. (The one thing I can’t quite comprehend though, is why lobster is so expensive everywhere you go with the Mediterranean right outside the doorstep.)

How much did you blow all week?
Wait, we’re still not quite done yet!
But to answer the question: believe me, still not anywhere remotely as much as its worth.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Maybe around two or three.

What made you choose St. Tropez for this vacation?
I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).

And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Besides the trip being entirely too short? No.
Oh, there’s the food thing— there’s way too much of it. Breakfast, a meal I never eat, is the most problematic. Where I’d much prefer simply three consecutive cups of coffee, there is instead a daily sumptuous buffet of European delectables. And in the company of generous Turkish hosts, to decline is practically an insult. Thank goodness for the available selection of fresh fruits and juices, or I likely would have gained ten pounds.

Any great standout experiences?
Oh, where do I even begin. Aside from the accommodation of traveling the entire time in the most supreme and blissful way imaginable? Well— there were the restaurants.

Of course St Tropez has its renowned and illustrious "hotspots"— Nioulargo, Club 55, and Nikki Beach. They’re all pretty much exactly as you’d expect. I’m sure almost anything I would describe would merely sound redundant. So, I’ll just skip over the incontrovertible and recount the pointless trivialities.

Nioulargo is hot, and I don’t just mean its popularity. It’s literally hot— and very crowded. The neat thing is they spray a fine mist of cold water throughout the atmosphere intermittently.
From what I can infer, Nioulargo is the jumpoff either one step above Club Cinquante Cinq or one step below, depending on how played-out you think Cinquante Cinq is. In any case, it’s tres chic, my dear. A visit to St Tropez without a stop a Nioulargo essentially makes you a cretin.

Cinquante Cinq is, of course, St Tropez’s most famous destination. You must go, dahling. (By boat, I mean. Because the street traffic, even in a requisite Bentley or Lamborghini, is unbearable.)
Oh, look— there’s Hugh Grant (no, really). Ah look, there’s Mischa Barton. And see that swanky (albeit chartered) motor yacht over yonder in the Mediterranean? That’s where Andrea Bocelli is staying. If you’re charmed enough to be moored closeby, you can hear him practicing his scales in the morning (no, seriously).

And what would a visit to St Tropez be without a drink at Nikki Beach? You may as well drop by; it will negate and/or counterbalance your humiliation at ever having patronized the one here in New York.

Aside from all that, one day we had lunch at La Plage de Salins. It’s a short cruise away from St Tropez’s prominent Plage Pampelonne. Its primary attraction, naturally, is its location directly on the beach "where your feet touch the sea." It’s a bit more tranquil than the aforementioned "hotspots," so scoring a great table is less daunting of a feat.
The food is decent; it may not be culinarily extraordinary, but that’s not why you’re here anyway. They have some familiar staples— caesar salad, cheeseburger, moules frites… but also some wonderful grilled fresh fish. Don’t forget to order a bottle of rosé! To drink anything else in this region would make you decidedly un-Tropézienne, even perhaps nothing short of "un animal."

Another splendid day was late lunch at Le Club de Cavaliere, also a short way from Pampelonne at Le Lavandou. What a gorgeous place.
First and foremost, the service is remarkably stellar. Immediately upon dropping anchor at Le Lavandou, you will find a nice multilingual young man approaching in an immaculate white dinghy to invite you for lunch at Le Cavaliere— and of course, more than willing to personally escort you ashore avec plaisir.
But here’s a little secret: the full lunch menu (offered only until 2:00 PM, unless you have reserved otherwise) is actually rather rich and conceivably too lavish for some tastes, especially in 85+ degree weather on a balmy sunny day. Contrastingly, the midday "snack" menu is effortless and accessible and is really quite ample despite the waiters’ profound apologies. Lots of international favorites here— club sandwich, croque monsieur, tuna niçoise, omelette du jour, etc etc… more than enough to make you a very happy camper. And please don’t forget the tarte-tropézienne (their’s is made with a dash of Cointreau). The quality and execution of everything is superbe.

The other fun thing was shopping at the bi-weekly St Tropez Bazaar. If you can stand the crushing crowds, that is. Everything you can possibly imagine is available at the bazaar. But the most enthralling things to me were the poultry/paella stand and the pizza truck. The pizza truck has a full wood-burning oven inside! Yes, in the truck.

How much did you blow all week?
All week? This is just the first few days— we still got a little ways to go!
But to answer the question: believe me, not anywhere remotely as much as its worth.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
i’ve done a lot of things in the industry over the years— waitress, cocktail waitress, bartender, floor Read more…

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I currently own three restaurants in NYC.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
I try to take off at least twice a year, for about a week to 10 days each time.

What made you choose la República Dominicana for this vacation?
It came highly recommended to me by a good friend of mine.

And where did you stay?
Tortuga Bay at the Puntacana Resort. My friend told me great things about it, and it sounded right up my alley. So I took a chance, and I’m glad I did.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Wonderful. Actually better than I had expected.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Major glitches? No, none. The food could have been a little better, but it wasn’t bad. As a food professional in NYC, sometimes you have to learn not to be so spoiled by the standards we keep.
Oh, and the outdoor jacuzzi on our balcony didn’t look entirely clean to me, but I tend to avoid public jacuzzis and hot tubs in general, anyway. Nasty.

Any great standout experiences?
Wow, where do I begin? First of all, I love the fact that they pick you up right on the airport tarmac and whisk you past the immigration line and you’re off and away and in your room in what feels like 10 minutes. And the little golf cart they give you is so great. I love that you can feel as private or as social as you like, because you have access to the bigger and more bustling Puntacana Resort. So all you have to do is drive your golf cart over, and it feels like a night out on the town. The little restaurant all the way over by the marina was our favorite.
And the beach is incredible. Is that the whitest sand I’ve ever seen in my life? Could be! The current kicked up the sand so the sea wasn’t quite as clear as I would have liked, but still, pretty nice. The ecological trail is fantastic, too. My kid went crazy in those lagunas. How does that water stay so unbelievably clean and clear? It was amazing.
And the fact that you have all this less than 4 hours away is incredible. I would definitely come back here.

How much did you blow all week?
Less than I would have thought. Flight: About $550 each. Room: About $750 per night. Meals/drinks daily: About $200 to $250 averaged.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I was a floor manager and beverage director for a [very popular] 110+ seat restaurant in SoHo, but I recently left. I’m currently on hiatus to travel until March.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
It seems to vary a lot from year to year. This year I took off about 11 weeks.

What made you choose Las Vegas and Santa Monica for this vacation?
It was a last minute trip. I just decided I didn’t want to stay in NYC for the New Years holiday, because so many of my friends were going out of town. I have friends living in both Las Vegas and Santa Monica, so I decided to visit before I flew to San Francisco where my family lives.

And where did you stay?
In Vegas, at The Wynn. I think I would have preferred to stay at THE Hotel at Mandalay Bay, but my friend booked this stay through his company somehow, and that’s where we ended up. In Santa Monica, I stayed at The Viceroy.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
The Wynn was fine, but a little cheesy— like almost everything in Vegas. I thought The Viceroy was beautiful and I really liked it a lot, but then toward the end of my stay, I started to get this sort of "swinger" vibe— like it seemed as though people were leaving their room doors open as some kind of sex invitation. I mentioned this to my friend who lives in Santa Monica and he just laughed at me like I’m so naive or something. I don’t know, maybe I am! That’s not quite my scene, sorry!

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Well, since you asked— Oh my god, why is the service so bad in Las Vegas? I mean, I guess that’s just Vegas, but the service was so bad. Ugh, we went to Alex and that was awful. Sooo awful. And Bar Masa? What a joke. I mean seriously— if you’re going to charge $80 for a bowl of risotto, you’d better get your shit together, what the fuck. OK, it was a $48 sea urchin risotto, but then they put truffle on it for an extra charge. Well, why wasn’t the truffle freshly shaved at the table? It’s supposed to be shaved last minute. But this was like they shaved it in the kitchen and then stuck it the window under the lamps or something. It was all messed up on top. And personally I thought the space was so ugly. Granted, not as ugly as the one in NY, but probably even uglier because you know they got millions of dollars to build this huge ugly place.
Ugh, we would have been so much better off just having dinner at Dos Caminos (where my friend is a manager)… and that’s saying a lot.

Any great standout experiences?
We did to go to Guy Savoy, too. And that was amazing. Really great.
Also, my friend works for Blue Plate Oysterette in Santa Monica so I tried dinner there. It was so good I went back a second time a day later.

How much did you blow all week?
Umm, well, I didn’t blow much. My friend paid for nearly everything in Las Vegas; I think he feels guilty because he makes so much more money than I. And I was "a guest" to my friends in Santa Monica so they took care of a lot of the expenses there, too. Right now I’d say I’m less than a $1000 down total.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a chef. [And commercial kitchen consultant for several popular restaurants worldwide].

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Total? About 5 or 6.

What made you choose the Turks & Caicos for this vacation?
I’ve been hearing nice things about it for a while now. A good friend of mine has been there several times already, and I trust her judgment when it comes to stuff like this, because her tastes are similar to mine.

And where did you stay?
Amanyara. I love Aman hotels. If there’s an Aman wherever I’m traveling, I’m there.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Excellent as always. That’s why I always choose Aman whenever possible.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Well, funny enough— my friend, who’s also stayed at Amanyara before, tried to warn me about the "glassed up windows." Apparently, the bungalows used to have "windows" that were merely screens with adjustable louvers to block out the sun/wind if necessary. She was very disappointed to find on her last visit that they had closed up the louvers by replacing the screen with glass, apparently because of a "sand fly" problem; the tiny little flies were passing through the screens. This, in effect, makes it impossible to open the bungalow up to any fresh air at all; if you leave the sliding doors open, then of course you allow mosquitoes and other flying insects inside. My friend had tried to warn me about this prior to my booking the arrangements, but, as a person who’s partial to air conditioning anyway, I didn’t think it would be a problem. Well, it turns out my wife hated not being able to open the windows; she loves the sound of the surf at night while she’s sleeping. Plus, she would have preferred fresh air to AC, and I would have gladly given up the AC to make her happy. In this case, we didn’t have any choice.
I also don’t know why there seems to be such a noticeable fly problem at their smaller, casual restaurant near the beach. Obviously outdoors, a few flies can’t be helped. But an overabundance of flies is generally not a good sign; it usually indicates uncleanliness somewhere.

Any great standout experiences?
I did think this specific Aman hotel was particularly beautiful. And the beach was quite extraordinary.

How much did you blow all week?
For everything? About $12 grand.

Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"

So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a real estate investor, developer and entrepreneur with considerable financial interest in the F&B industry.

And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
I tend to take a lot of shorter trips throughout the year, about every 8 to 10 weeks.

What made you choose Costa Rica for this vacation?
My wife has a very good friend in Costa Rica (who also happens to be a restaurateur). She’d been planning a visit for several months, but I convinced her to postpone it for the holidays so we could travel there together. I’d been to Costa Rica several years ago and was curious to see how it had changed and/or developed. Plus, since we were planning to be away for the New Year, I thought it best she be able to celebrate with her friend, as that can make all the difference for the holidays.

And where did you stay?
Since my wife’s friend is based in Tamarindo, we chose the best hotel we could find closest to her friend’s home, which was Tamarindo Diria. It turned out very well, because we were a mere two blocks from her restaurant, and only five blocks from her home. It’s also quite centrally located, directly on the beach, with a lot of places within walking distance.

How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
OK. For the price however, it was extraordinarily impressive. Any traveler would be hard pressed to find those accommodations at that astoundingly low price (especially during the holidays) anywhere in the world— except perhaps in Las Vegas (where the rooms in all the luxury hotels are essentially loss leaders).
Also, the food at the hotel wasn’t very good, so luckily there are numerous commendable places to dine very close by: Wok ‘n Roll, Carolina’s, Le Beach Club and El Coconut were all exceptional.

Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
The only major disappointment was that the two (other) restaurants our friend recommended to us (Paola’s and Nogui) were both closed on New Years day, and we weren’t able to rearrange our schedule to fit them in to try them. Oh, and for some reason, Tamarindo Diria was forever running out of towels.
Plus, we did have one incident where an errant forceful wave pushed my wife onto a rock and she scraped her foot and leg. She’s a trooper though, and thankfully she wasn’t hurt badly. It was a pretty good reminder that one must always be very mindful of the power of the ocean.

Any great standout experiences?
I think the trip overall was a standout, one of the best we’ve ever had. We got to meet another new friend on this trip too, and it was really wonderful and special to spend the time with them.
We also rediscovered a great modest little restaurant I first found years ago on my previous trip (Hotel Las Tortugas), and we absolutely loved its simplicity and rustic charm. We had two perfect lunches there (even though it was a good four mile walk down the beach to Playa Grande).

How much did you blow all week?
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to plan the trip far enough in advance, and the last minute booking cost us pretty dearly. We barely managed to snag two available seats at $1200 each (economy; business was unavailable), which didn’t include a small domestic return flight from Liberia Guanacaste to San José ($115 each). The hotel was about $200 per night (including breakfast), and food/drink per day was probably about $200 averaged (including some dinners with friends). Other activities (sailing, equipment rentals, etc) was perhaps another $600 total.