The industry of Fashion, as you might presume, is plagued by pretty much the same kind of politics, opportunism, machinations, and bullshit as just about every other high-stakes form of capitalism in the world (including F&B, natch). So, far be it for us to advocate Anna Wintour‘s upcoming big annual whoopdedoo, Fashion’s Night Out. (Please, don’t even get us started…)
We would, however, like to strongly encourage you to do whatever the hells you please. Blind ignorance and stoic incomprehension is what fuels the economy after all! (♪♪ Got to have a J.O.B. if you wanna roll with me… ♪♪)
To that end, we bring news of a nice fusion (fooshion) between food and fashion (get it?) event for this momentous evening— namely:
The BondSt – Fashion Night Out Black Carnival
BEWITCHING HOUR BEGINS ON BOND STREET!
BONDST restaurant joins designers and friends including ROGAN, OAK, The Smile, Archetype Showroom & Hester Street Fair to be a part of the first annual Black Carnival, an outrageous neighborhood celebration sponsored by 42Below vodka in support of Fashion’s Night Out, on Friday, September 10, 2010. Between 6PM‐11PM, when all of New York’s most stylish denizens roam the city in search of fashion, fun and retail therapy, Bond Street between Bowery & Lafayette will be transformed into a celebration of the dark (& humorous) side of fashion – a carnival of black tents with games, music, cocktails and revelry. Noho friends and neighbors will all be present, providing unique experiences to be discovered up and down the street and throughout the dark bazaar. BONDST will set up in a tent in the carnival to sell Spicy Crispy Shrimp and Sushi Hand Rolls. The new Japanese restaurant will also stage a ring toss game with sake bottles. The prize for getting a ring on is a free drink in the BONDST lounge. 3 rings for $1 – come join us!
"A celebration of the dark (& humorous) side of fashion," ha ahaa. Awesome! How can you resist?!
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For a factual, in-depth, and uniquely insightful peek into the world of high-fashion, read PX This – The Revised Edition featuring true-story encounters with such luminaries as Calvin Klein, Marc Jacobs, Azzedine Alaïa, Mohamed al-Fayed, Graziano de Boni, Ann Demeulmeester, Marc Bagutta, and so much more…
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
They’re open? Ohhh, smart sneaky bastards…
Please rate the Bar:
Not quite open yet ("Friday… maybe… hopefully…")— but it’s nice. Looks great, spacious, comfortable. True, the location (2nd floor, through the dining room) is a bit odd, but hey it worked for Freemans just fine, so what the hells do you know.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The ‘by the glass’ list looks good. Decent selections, fine diversity, nice price point. The cocktails list is creative but grounded. Tried the Fizz Something (with champagne and St. Germain, was it?) and the one with the Aperol. Both very tasty and refreshing.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Very nice. Great banquettes. Apparently, it supposed to be "the opposite of Freemans," so— yeah. That would explain the lack of dead animal ornamentation.
Please rate the BOH:
Solid. No, really. Aint nobody green up in this muhfuh…
How was the staff?
Very good. And it’s pretty much everybody you already know, so what’s not to love about that.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Turkey/Avocado Sandwich (Guacoturkey, was it called? Something like that) : Mmmm, delicious. Fresh, and hearty but light. And I really looove the homemade chips.
Burger : Very good. Perfectly cooked, succulent, juicy. Good fries, too. There goes my low-carb diet.
Mini Corn Dogs : Love it.
Romaine with Buttermilk and Lardons : Not such a fan of buttermilk dressing usually, but this one’s not bad. Pretty heavy, though. Oh and I’ve been around enough French peoples in my lifetime to have cultivated a considerable disdain for cutting lettuce with a knife. So when I get full hearts like this, I usually prefer them separated from the stalk (or whatever) so I can just pick the leaves up with my fingers instead. But ya know, don’t mind me. I’m just sayin.
Apple Walnut Crumble : Ohh my…
Pineapple Upside Down Cake : Ack! Stop. Overload.
What did you like?
The simplicity.
What did you dislike?
Well, there’s the thing with the stools, but I think I ‘get it’… (Restaurant Psychology: 210)
What was your last impression?
Just as I was thinking about moving into this neighborhood…
Would you come back?
Yes.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
No no, thank YOU.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Well, we got… fish… pasta… pizza… meat… and vegetables. Hmm. OK, meat it is.
Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Spacious, sort of welcoming, relatively comfortable.
Best of all it’s seat-yourself ("Excuse me, would you mind moving over one seat so we can sit down together? Thanks."), which is great, because apparently this small army of hostesses at the desk here is of absolutely no help at all.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Cocktails are N/A. As for the wine— oh, lookee here. Plenty of Bastianich varieties to choose from! What a surprise. And… huh… kind of expennnsive….
Please rate the Dining Room:
Uh… PASS. I mean: it’s in a grocery. What exactly are you expecting, anyway?
Please rate the BOH:
Sigh. Short version? It’s eh.
Good thing they don’t have like 10,000 other Italian commercial kitchens in down/mid-town to compete with! [/sarcasm]
How was the staff?
The waitress was nice. A little harried but nice. Seems like it’s been a long day for her. Too bad it’s only 6:30PM…
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Sweetbreads : Oi. Dry. A bit chewy. Pretty bland. Uh yea, if this is a high point, we’re in trouble…
Warm Ribeye Cap Salad : Better. Tender and succulent. Perfectly cooked. But really, $18 for these two tiny slices? I mean, you’ve got to be kidding.
Salumi Plate : Is that it? Seriously? Two paper-thin slices of four varieties? For $21? OK, all joking aside, how in the hell do they justify these prices? Because, correct me if I’m wrong, but are they not cutting out a decent amount of overhead? I mean at the very least, this is not a storefront space, and the meat has to be delivered from a distance of all about what— nine feet away?
And no, sorry— the quality definitely does not account for this pricetag.
What did you like?
That it’s so close to Nuela. Hey, what can I say? I’ve heard some very good things about it. And after spending $120 on three dishes and two glasses of wine here, yes, I’m still hungry.
What did you dislike?
Aside from just about everything?
What was your last impression?
Is she serious?!
No really, this hostess was of absolutely no assistance prior. She couldn’t be bothered to address us when we found seats for ourselves. She clearly couldn’t have cared less about our dining experience. And evidently was paying so little attention to us, she didn’t see us paying our bill despite our being situated three feet in front of the podium.
But she has the audacity to chase us halfway out the grocery to inquire if we’ve paid our check.
Mmhmp, oh yeah. I’m impressed all right.
Would you come back?
No.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Not unless you’re coming across the street with me.
Matanzas Creek Sauvignon Blanc 2007 – Sonoma County California
Cost: $22.99/Bottle
Light pewter in color, medium-bodied, nice genuine notes of grapefruit, wet stones, and lemon rind on the nose. In the mouth, tart and dry, good balance, refreshing and light on the palate with slightly diluted but consistent flavors of grapefruit and minerals.
Rating: 86
Simi Chardonnay 2007 – Sonoma California
Cost: 19.99/Bottle
A dry chardonnay that hints at juiciness— with its buttery oak, honeydew, pear, and tropical fruit aromas. It’s moderately full-bodied with consistent pears, fruity flavors, and minerals that flow quite nicely with a zingy acidity that puckers the upper section of your mouth. A slightly short and dry finish, but that’s fine for the value of this Sonoma chardonnay.
Rating: 87
GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"What’s the deal with New York Magazine / GrubStreet’s "Two for Eight"? Is it all just bullshit or what?"
TUESDAY, JUNE 9, 2009. 11:18AM
okay so
this is the THIRD time i’ve caught a discrepancy in their uhhh "reporting."
as you may or may not recall, i previously posted about the other two times in the [private, password-protected, soon-to-be-defunct] "members’ only forum"–
specifically, i said this:
May 29, 2009, 11:18 AM
… last night was dinner at CentroVinoteca. and the place was slammed.
and that made me think "huh." cuz the day before, i had called the restaurant to try and make a reservation for friends of mine (who had tried themselves, but couldn’t get a table). and even though the hostess was very sweet saying they could accommodate me, i could tell it was going to be a bit of a nightmare for them so i told them never mind. and then i made arrangements with my friend to dine together with them another time instead, and so that made everybody happy and satisfied.
lo and behold i look yesterday morning and i see on grubstreet: "Tables Available at Centro Vinoteca" for two at 8pm.
and i was all: 
— but then i brushed it off thinking i guess it’s possssible (?) they had a cancellation? but didn’t call me? hmm. okay.
and so last night i mentioned this to one of the managers in charge of the reservationists. and he personally told me: "it’s IMPOSSIBLE. there was no way grubstreet was offered an 8pm table at 4pm. WE WERE BOOKED."
i also happpen to know there was also another time grubstreet had the same "Centro… Tables Available…" title but when you clicked on the link, it stated there was in fact "no" table available.
but when i pointed the discrepancy out in the comments section, they merely crossed out their previous entry and changed it to suit their title.
now
yesterday i happen to look and AGAIN i see: "Tables Available at Centro Vinoteca and Trestle on Tenth; Allen & Delancey Mostly Booked"
and i think to myself: "really? REALLY?! if Allen&Delancey is AGAIN ‘mostly booked’ with a ‘nearest availability at 6:45pm’ on a MONDAY night with RAIN in the forecast, then that is pretty incredible. as a matter of fact, it’s so incredible, i would like to see this for myself. obviously they are doing something right, and perhaps i should go and see it with my own eyes and then i can LEARN something about what they are doing so right."
mmhmp. yah– oh i learned something all right.
– firstly i phoned Allen&Delancey myself at 6pm. and SOMEHOW i managed to score a reservation for two at a time much MUCH closer to an 8PM time slot than the reported "earliest availability" at "6:45." i was even told "it would be a pleasure" to accommodate me (twice even). and in case you were wondering whether it was my totally awesome PXness that got me the table— no. sorry. i booked it under a pseudonym.
– i (and my guest) then arrived at Allen&Delancey a tad early– at 7pm.
there was ONE couple at the bar and two deuces in the dining room.
– i promptly phoned CentroVinoteca and inquired "heyyyy… just curious… how many people are at your bar right now (at 7PM)…?"
i was told: "18 people at the bar. and 4 deuces in the dining room."
– so then i asked: "and are you booked at 8pm by any chance?"
the answer: why yes! they are! (imagine that!) but they have an availability later in the evening if i’d like, but sorrrrry– not quite at 8pm.
hmm. really. well that’s interesting.
by the time 8:05pm rolled around, Allen&Delancey had seated one 8-top, and two more deuces. plus one other couple at the bar (totaling 6 covers in the front bar area, and 16 in the dining room).
does that sound like "mostly booked" to you?
(by the way– A&D, much like Centro, has approximately 12 seats at the bar and about 70 seats in the dining room.)
ya know
it’s no secret i have disagreed with Eater many times in the past. but AT LEAST their resy-whateverthefuck thing they run (which grubstreet, arguably, did bite off Eater) has the number of ring-a-dings, and the exact response given, and sometimes even the name of the person who answered the phone and whatnot.
i must admit– it DOES add a bit of plausibility (not to mention entertainment value) to the whole sordid exercise.
which brings me to my point:
– what IS the point, do you think, of this whole "two for eight" bit, hmm?
i mean– OSTENSIBLY, they are trying to do the restaurants and patrons some kind of favor or something, yes?
but, having inquired over and over again– it seems there is, in fact, no value in this for the restaurant OR patrons, as CentroVinoteca (for example– look ! "all grub street posts tagged ‘Centro Vinoteca + two for eight’ **— all 50 times — a good 2 to 3 times MORE than any other restaurant on that list!) has confirmed that NEVER since its inception has ANY customer EVER expressed their last-minute reservation and/or arrival was due to the awesome efficiency and convenience of grubstreet’s "Two for Eight."
[in contrast however, "Top Chef" is invoked innumerable times, as are leah-cohen‘s recent appearances on the cover of the NY Times City section and CBS’s weekend Morning Show.]
yah so— incidentally, my dining companion while all this was happening last night, just happens to be a restaurateur.
his take on the matter (?):
"i don’t get it. what’s the point of this? it doesn’t make me happy to hear other restaurants aren’t doing so well."
mmhmmm. well
maybe it doesn’t make HIM happy
but i guess it makes SOMEONE happy.
doesn’t it?
at the very least, as an avid and devoted reader (and fan!) of grubstreet, i would kinda looove to hear them explain what’s going on here.
but hey, maybe that’s just me.
** UPDATE: Well, lookee here— the hyperlink provided no longer allows viewers to see how many times a particular restaurant has been featured in Grubstreet’s "Two for Eight." Imagine that! Good thing we’ve got a screen capture!
Click to enlarge —> 
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pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on June 9, 2009, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
NOTE: Unless otherwise dated, the comments listed below reflect the discussion that occurred in the Forum @ PX This subsequently, at the time of the original entry. They have been re-created here. If you require an un-edited copy of the original discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
What—? What did she say??
Okay, I admit, I walked into this place because it was mildly intriguing, but I have no idea what the hostess just muttered to me at warp speed. Thanks for the funky ATMish card though, Sweetie, whatever it is! I guess.
Aaand, after a quick, vaguely confused lap around the perimeter… I’m outta here. It’s either too hi-fi or utilitarian or Socialist or something for me. Thank goodness we found someone smart/willing enough to put that Food ATM Automat Charge Card Whatever Thingie to work. Hooray!
Take it awaaay, Gastrochic!
Please rate the Bar:
They have a liquor license! (Dean & DeLuca didn’t, so… nyeah.) And, it’s spacious.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
But, uh… yea… not much of a drinker here… so let’s just move it along…
Please rate the Dining Room:
The light-filled interior, with soaring ceilings and sleek Italian design throughout, sets the stage for what’s actually a very back-to-basics dining experience, though at first glance it seems high tech. After picking up a key card at the door, you take a tray and collect your meal yourself, selecting panini, salads, pizza and pasta from various food stations, where they prepare each dish in front of you and scan the card. If your college dining hall went gourmet, this is what it would be like.
Please rate the BOH:
While the Italian food here doesn’t compare to the city’s best Italian dining establishments, it’s very good for the price. Choose from a number of freshly made pastas and pair it with one of a variety of sauces… Other American “tells” include the huge serving size, which is about twice the amount of food you’d be served in Italy, containers of Parmesan, oregano and chili flakes near the pizza station and the staff’s weird insistence that I must want bread with my pasta… Though it doesn’t exactly conform to the slow food-esque motto “chi va piano, va sano e lontano” (roughly “he who goes gently/slowly goes healthfully for a long time”), Vapiano pays much more attention to the food itself than other fast casual chains.
(… More alarming is the menu of “signature” pastas, one of which includes chicken, orange-chili sauce and bok choi, a blasphemous combination that would surely would be banned in Italy.)
How was the staff?
Umm, they’re kinda… N/A? Ya know, what with the EZ Pass thingie and whatnot. They’re so DIY that when I asked for the rest of my meal to be wrapped up to go, they just brought me these space-age containers and just had me pour the pasta in myself.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Though pasta is Vapiano’s specialty, they were out of three of them on the day we visited, so the ravioli with ricotta and spinach was not an option. Penne with Bolognese sauce ($11.95) would have to be the litmus test, even though it’s too wintry a dish for this time of year. Vapiano’s is a classic bolognese with crumbled pork and beef stewed in tomato sauce with carrots, celery, fresh rosemary and basil. This is no Babbo or Lupa version – it’s missing the depth and subtlety – but it’s very fresh and pleasing.
Caprese Salad : arrives beautifully presented on the plate, and the chef asks if you would like balsamic vinegar before adding it – it’s not always part of a true caprese salad. Unfortunately the mozzarella itself is only so-so: it doesn’t have the tang of bufala mozzarella or the creaminess of burrata.
What did you like?
They really have a knack for marketing? (Also, it seems to be a chick-magnet.)
What did you dislike?
The food at Vapiano (handled by a CIA grad) may be radically different, with a focus on fresh, natural ingredients, but there’s a certain manufactured quality to the atmosphere, which strikes a balance between stimulating but comforting, familiar but exotic. And every Vapiano looks just like the 70 other locations around the world, so you always know exactly what your experience will be. Perhaps more insidiously, this place targets a market that believes itself to be above chains. As the website boasts, “Vapiano is a very urban concept for young professionals, consisting of over sixty percent female clientele.”
What was your last impression?
Vapiano is enjoyable while it lasts, but when you leave, you may feel a nagging sense of fast-casual remorse. The target market gets up from Don Draper’s bed, adjusts her dress and heads for the door.
Would you come back?
I’ll let you guess…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Ciao! Peace out.