PX This.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Manzo @ Eataly

What was your first impression?
Well, we got… fish… pasta… pizza… meat… and vegetables. Hmm. OK, meat it is.

Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Spacious, sort of welcoming, relatively comfortable.
Best of all it’s seat-yourself ("Excuse me, would you mind moving over one seat so we can sit down together? Thanks."), which is great, because apparently this small army of hostesses at the desk here is of absolutely no help at all.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Cocktails are N/A. As for the wine— oh, lookee here. Plenty of Bastianich varieties to choose from! What a surprise. And… huh… kind of expennnsive….

Please rate the Dining Room:
Uh… PASS. I mean: it’s in a grocery. What exactly are you expecting, anyway?

Please rate the BOH:
Sigh. Short version? It’s eh.
Good thing they don’t have like 10,000 other Italian commercial kitchens in down/mid-town to compete with! [/sarcasm]

How was the staff?
The waitress was nice. A little harried but nice. Seems like it’s been a long day for her. Too bad it’s only 6:30PM…

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Sweetbreads : Oi. Dry. A bit chewy. Pretty bland. Uh yea, if this is a high point, we’re in trouble…
Warm Ribeye Cap Salad : Better. Tender and succulent. Perfectly cooked. But really, $18 for these two tiny slices? I mean, you’ve got to be kidding.
Salumi Plate : Is that it? Seriously? Two paper-thin slices of four varieties? For $21? OK, all joking aside, how in the hell do they justify these prices? Because, correct me if I’m wrong, but are they not cutting out a decent amount of overhead? I mean at the very least, this is not a storefront space, and the meat has to be delivered from a distance of all about what— nine feet away?
And no, sorry— the quality definitely does not account for this pricetag.

What did you like?
That it’s so close to Nuela. Hey, what can I say? I’ve heard some very good things about it. And after spending $120 on three dishes and two glasses of wine here, yes, I’m still hungry.

What did you dislike?
Aside from just about everything?

What was your last impression?
Is she serious?!
No really, this hostess was of absolutely no assistance prior. She couldn’t be bothered to address us when we found seats for ourselves. She clearly couldn’t have cared less about our dining experience. And evidently was paying so little attention to us, she didn’t see us paying our bill despite our being situated three feet in front of the podium.
But she has the audacity to chase us halfway out the grocery to inquire if we’ve paid our check.
Mmhmp, oh yeah. I’m impressed all right.

Would you come back?
No.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Not unless you’re coming across the street with me.

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