Matt Levine: Ejected from Mister H

April 20th, 2011 by Dick Johnson


Hey, have you ever wondered whatever happened to Matt Levine? Oh, no? Well, we’re gonna update you anyway. (It’ll be fun, you’ll see.)


Apparently, Matt Levine "sold" his once uuuüber-hott Eldridge and then went on to undertake some bar/lounge something something at The Hotel on Rivington and then some other stuff happened with some other project he was endeavoring to— oh, whatever— pretty much his whole history is here if you want it. (Hang in there, it gets better.)

Anyhoo, PX This hears Levine was recently ejected from Mister H. We only mention it because: har har aharr, the irony is just killing us.
Evidently, not long ago Levine visited Mister H with actors Bryan Greenberg and Eddie Kaye Thomas of HBO’s How to Make It in America. According to a source from within, despite being seated at "the best table in the house," Levine soon became irate with the waitress who offered him a "bottle menu," speaking rudely and condescendingly to her. The frustrated waitress then summoned the host, whom Levine allegedly manhandled (by grabbing his elbow) and berated with the words, "Look into my eyes. I own three clubs in New York, and I don’t buy bottles. People send me bottles." Unmoved, the inured and apathetic host in turn summoned the manager, aaand "… within about three sentences, she was over him," too.

Levine and his guests were then summarily shown the door.


Another source who chooses to remain anonymous sums it up thusly: "Mathematically, if A is arrogance, and B is bottles, then two C-list actors is definitely not equal or greater than A minus B."

Or rather: 2 x C ≠ or > A – B

Got it? (See, fun and educational!)


We’re just sayin’.



UPDATE: Matt Levine responds via e-mail and has this to say:

"I have nothing but respect for… people in the industry… but come on – this story is bogus and wacky. Not sure where you got your information, but it is completely inaccurate and completely false… Isn’t even an inkling of facts or truth. Even the "quotes" — that is nothing close to what I would ever say, and I never even interacted with a waitress. It’s amazing how a story can be completely made up…"

Matt Levine also graciously requested we remove this narrative from our website. And we would (because, quite frankly, it just doesn’t matter that much to us), but since Eater has already more widely spread our little anecdote, the point just seems kinda moot now. And removing it altogether would probably just serve to increase the curiosity about what the report entailed, possibly fueling even more outlandish "fabrications" in the end.

In any case, the bottom line is this: sometimes stories like this need to be taken with a grain of salt— by ALL parties involved, including our audience. Had this been an account of Levine blowing rails in a banquette or banging hookers in the bathroom, perhaps we would have "fact check[ed]" first, as Levine would have "appreciate[d]." However, in this particular circumstance, we simply didn’t believe anybody would have a reason to make up a tale as absurd as this— nor a "quote" as utterly fabulous as "Look into my eyes…"
This is simply an amusing anecdote, meant to entertain— about an endlessly faaascinating industry, about a person within that industry who, like it or not, has successfully captivated and retained your decidedly limited attention span. So ya know— I guess yalls should ponder that one for a minute, bitches.

In short: We wholeheartedly thank Matt Levine for his courteous and heartfelt response. (And perhaps humbly suggest that next time, he more advantageously train his stupid fucking door people.)
God bless New York, God bless America and the First Amendment, and God bless us all, everyone. We would further venture to ask: Can’t we all just get along? But ha ha ahaa that would just be retarded.

Carry on, mutherfukkers.




* * * * *


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9 Responses to “Matt Levine: Ejected from Mister H”

  1. Anonymous Says:


  2. D'oh! Says:

    Hah! What a douche.

  3. Vanilla Ice Says:

    yea but are you sure that’s not Arrogance SQUARED?


  4. myron goldfinger Says:

    someone should have given him a free empty bottle shoved up his arse

  5. Inkslinger Says:

  6. Zainab Says:

    Myron, that’s just brilliant!

  7. Mr. Bad Says:

    This guy is such a DOUCHE! He didn’t sell his club, he got the BOOT! I don’t understand how this guy hasn’t been chased out of NYC already…He needs to take his @$$ back to LongBeach, Long Island…POSER!

  8. Anonymous Says:

    Actually Matt got asked to leave when he started arguing with Armin. The guys from HTMIIA were not kicked out with him. They stayed and left awhile later with a couple of girls, they are actually cool nice guys.

  9. Kwavon Says:

    Funny. A little dramatic on both sides. I should know. i was the secuirty that escorted him out.

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