Word of Mouth: Japonica

March 1st, 2011 by Vanilla Ice

 

PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW

We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

 

Japonica

What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
I was craving good sushi, and your place was a closer walk than Blue Ribbon— it’s COLD outside! Obviously, your stellar reputation precedes you…

What was your first impression?
Holy cow it’s crowded.

Please rate the Bar:
N/A. Service for the dining room only.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Oh whoops, is there liquor here? Sorry, forgot to check. They definitely have beer, wine, and sake though. Not the most superb collection, but basic and satisfactory.

Please rate the Dining Room:
A little cramped and somewhat worse for wear, but fine. Straightforward— no fanciness, snazziness, or bells and whistles here.

Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Great quality, freshness, and particularly generosity.

How was the staff?
Good. Polite, attentive, and proficient, if not exactly effusive.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Yellowtail with jalapeño : Yea, the typical "classic." Lavish slices of fish.
Dragon Roll :
Another classic. Huge! Good.
Hot Alaskan Roll : Salmon and Tuna, not quite as spicy as the title suggests. But excellent. And again, huge.
Sea urchin sushi : Seems rather steep at $9.50 per serving— until you see how big they are. Very fresh and flavorful. Fantastic.
Kanpachi sashimi : Oh so good. These portion sizes are killing me.

What did you like?
Pretty much everything.

What did you dislike?
Nothing really, except I do find the old punch out clock (with cards!) on the wall smack in the center of the dining room kinda amusing.

What was your last impression?
Oh look, it’s Julianne Moore.

Would you come back?
Yes, for sure.

 

 

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, it was a pleasure.

 

 

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