A Day at the Mall

May 11th, 2010 by Vanilla Ice

Vanilla Ice: … And so, your little quote in New York magazine a couple weeks back inspired me to take you for a stroll through the mall…
abbe diaz: sigh. so sad, isn’t it? we’re all getting old…

VI: Have you seen it yet?
ad: not yet— so i appreciate the photos.

VI: And? So? Whattya think?
ad: well i did walk by on the 20th street side last week prior to the opening on friday, and i noticed what was once the former "employee entrance" is still under construction. that particular little entry foyer led up the stairs the back way to the bathrooms, and on the ground level leading off to the left side of the stairs used to be "chapel." so it would appear they’re still doing construction and aren’t quite utilizing the entire space. and that perhaps would explain why your photos make the space look so much smaller than i remember it.
anyway, it’s not like the renderings or the snazzy PR pics i’ve seen. all those looked so swanky and flashy, but this just looks kinda tacky.

VI: Oh, yeah. Having seen it with my own two eyes, I’d say "tacky" is an apt description… Does it even look familiar to you?
ad: well the overall basic structure is discernible, obviously— but i’m having a little difficulty making out which direction you’re facing. if i’m not mistaken, the arched stained glass would be the stage side of the main level aka "disco" and the big round stained glass would be the opposite end, which would have been directly behind "disco bar."
and evidently, they extended the widths of the mezzanine walkways…

VI: What do you think of the concept overall?
ad: well, from a purely practical and objective standpoint, i suppose it’s something of an astute way to generate income from a building that’s essentially obsolete otherwise. clearly, the city’s current (and likely, future) administrations would never have allowed another Limelight to exist in any way reminiscent of its former incarnation. i can’t exactly say i’m against resurrecting the space in a viably profitable way, but it’s really a shame they made no effort at all with this new venture to embody the former spirit of such a legendary entity.
the city is awash with talented (but struggling) artists, artisans, and craftsmen. to turn over the space to pretentious jellybeans and chocolate is something of a travesty.

VI: Oh, snap! They had Hunter® wellies and flipflops, too— if that’s any consolation?
ad: ha ahaa, hardly. oh but don’t mind me— i’m maybe just having bitter flashbacks or something. i mean—
MarieBelle chocolate? ugh christ. (oh haa christ… Limelight… no uhh pun intended.)
i guess what i’m trying to say is, maybe this is all striking just a little too close to home for me or something. cuz like— MarieBelle is owned/operated by maribel-lieberman, the wife of jacques-lieberman, my former commercial landlord when i once had a flagship boutique for geld-iaz. as you may or may not know, MarieBelle’s (first) store is located at 484 Broome St— all the (five) ground floor commercial spaces of which are owned by jacques-lieberman.
if it weren’t for this convenient little arrangement to which MarieBelle is uniquely privy, i’d imagine you’d be rather hard pressed to find an artisanal chocolatier who could succeed in a space with a current market value in probably the $30K+ per month range. you see my point?
i’m just sayin.

but i think what’s pissing me off even more, is that the new MarieBelle in the Limelight appears to be located in the mezzanine over what would have been "disco bar." it’s that very same mezzanine under which were once installed large spotlights to help illuminate the bar and dance floor. well, one night during work while i was bartending, one of those spotlights came loose from all the bouncing around and stomping up there, and fell down directly over me, bonking me right on the noggin. huey-morgan (currently of Fun Lovin’ Criminals) was my barback at the time, and even he couldn’t believe i didn’t pass out from the accident. i ended up with a mild concussion and aches in my neck and back for a week.

ha ha ahaa so ya know— fuck those chocolates.

VI: LOL! Huh, I think there may even be "a moral in there someplace." ‘Nuff said. Aaaand, that’s a wrap!
ad: good. i love a short interview.



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One Response to “A Day at the Mall”

  1. MILFweed Says:

    Abbs is there anything in NY you don’t have your hand in?

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