Best, Pee Ex This Dot Com

October 16th, 2009 by The House


• Admit it, you couldn’t have cared less about Juliet, the new Todd English helmed restaurant/lounge reportedly opening someplace in Chelsea.
Well, it turns out your hosts are Mark Baker and Artan Gjoni. All of a sudden you care just a little bit now, don’t you?


• Speaking of Todd English— for fuck’s sake, enough already. But, since the inbox here at PX This clearly won’t get a reprieve until it’s addressed, we’ll go ahead and finally fucking address it—

Dear Todd,
Personally, we think you come off as a bit of a tool. Quite frankly, we are so utterly discerning, insightful and knowledgeable, that your culinary antics (and/or entire career) usually fall way below our reproachful radar. Thus, the entirety of our commentary can best summarily be expressed in the sagacious words of our founder (coincidentally, a striking Asian woman, in case you didn’t know):

"I bet that cures him of his Yellow Fever Malaria HA HA HA AHAH HAHAHAHAHAAA."

Pee Ex This Dot Com


• Yoo hoo, Foster Kamer! We "MENSA[sic] -level Vikings" are still waiting for you to come and show us how intellectually deficient we are. We’re quivering in our boots! Please, oh mighty blogger cum twice-fired reservationist cum semi-employed "journalist"— impart upon us all the wisdom your vast experience of a couple years of professional blogging and briefly working as a telephone answerer for Keith McNally has bestowed upon you. We await your brilliance and enlightenment with heaving bosom and bated breath!


• Uh oh. Are the producers of "The Real Houswives of New York" just a bunch of big backdoor bigots? Hmmm maybe?



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4 Responses to “Best, Pee Ex This Dot Com”

  1. Giant Head Says:

    Seriously, both Todd and Erica both sound like assholes. And yeah, he definitely has yellow fever. They’ve all been busted though. None of it is surprising if you’ve ever met him.

  2. LOL Says:

    Mark Baker, Artan and Todd English? That sounds like a match made in heaven… Cracksmoker’s Heaven.

  3. Please Says:

    Todd English is just Rocco Dispirito without the reality show.

    Can’t wait to see you and Erica on “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here!” Todd.

  4. Inkslinger Says:

    Hey Abbester, didn’t you say something once about how it’s funny, because the press never cared about the GM’s and Maitre D’s before?
    (Dated 3 days after us)


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