GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"Beyonce @ Cipriani 55 Wall"
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2005. 11:18AM:
… so last night was the official finale for this season’s Wall Street Concert Series at Cipriani55Wall featuring beyoncé! holy cow she’s gorgeous. i got to sneak in earlier and watch her rehearse and everything, she was all dressed down like she just rolled out of bed, and still she was so beautiful. actually i think she looked better without all the pancake and glitter and whatnot. don’t get me wrong, she was stunning during the concert, but just in her jeans without any makeup— no joke, she looked ten years younger.
anyways, it was a great extravaganza, beyoncé really put on quite the show. she sang and danced and changed her outfit so many times.
eheee at one point she handed her microphone down to alex-rodriguez standing in the audience so he could sing-along, and omygoodness. that poor boy couldn’t carry a tune if it was shaped like a baseball bat.
and the performance in the audience was almost better than the show onstage. all the big ballers (shot-callers and brawlers) were in da house, everybody was glossin and flossin, on and on’in, till six in the mawnin. or something like that.
i saw damon-dash & piddy-diddy & harvey-weinstein & vivi-nevo & flavio-briatore & of course giuseppe-cipriani. i think jay-z arrived late, i didn’t spot him at all until almost the very end of the concert, he was backstage watching from the sidelines and it seemed even beyoncé was surprised to see him there, she looked over when the jumbotron abruptly caught him lurking in the wings and she suddenly beamed and blushed like lovestruck teenager. aww.
oh and harvey-weinstein was totally sweating my dress. i’m just sayin.
… yah so aside from that
last monday (october 31) was a… halloween dinner at Matsuri
… and it was lots of fun everybody was all dressed up in funny costumes. eric-goode was a boyscout. sean-macpherson was a totally convincing jesus-christ. sante-d’orazio was an archbishop. rachel-williams was ummm heidi? saint-paulie girl? something like that. and fisher-stevens was himself.
oh and valentino-garavani & his homeboy giancarlo-giametti were themselves too. do they have halloweenie in italy? i guess not.
… afterward was another party at Crobar…
mark-baker was a pirate. and the lovely vicky-andren was a stepford wife. oliver-stone was some kind of military soldier or veteran or something, i think.
and then later i heard was heidi-klum & seal & usher but i didn’t see any of them because we left by midnight.
finally was a stop at LaEsquina… serge-becker was dressed as a gimp which was totally the best costume all night.
pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on February 22, 2005, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
OK yea, so by now I’m suuure you’ve heard all about how stupid Miss Philippines totally blew her chances at the Miss Universe crown, by being such a dumbass.
Well, the only thing I can add to the continual running commentary currently pervading every single Puertochino household, clique, Nurses’ Lounge, and JollyBee, is this —>
Ha ha ha aha haah.
Get over it, homies. She was probably just a drag queen anyways.
Happy Friday!
:)
** With special thanks to Rachel Dagdagan
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Well, it looks "Moroccan," all right.
Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Welcoming. Spacious enough. Pretty comfortable. And the bartender is very nice, if not entirely adept (could use a little more time getting used to the POS system).
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Evidently, it was their "first day" with liquor— so that meant ix-nay on the arnishes-gay, as in no muddled grapes for that "St Tropez." (No olives for a martini, either.) They do however, have limes for their margarita so ha aha… olé!
Prices are reasonable at about $10 per cocktail and similarly averaged for wines by the glass. Plus the wine list is relatively diverse (if not particularly adventurous) with a pleasantly fine value in most of the selection.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s… okay. Hardly imaginative, but maybe that makes it more umm… authentic?
Please rate the BOH:
It’s quite good. But I admit I came in with pretty high expectations. I mean after all, I’m verrry familiar with the three-star work of Chef Rick Laakonen. You might even say I’m a fan. So I always did kinda wonder whatever happened to Rick Laakonen? It’s like he poof! vanished off the face of the earth or something.
Well! Now he’s… back?
How was the staff?
Fine. Wholly proficient in that "authentic" kind of way. Yah, let’s just say it’s much more Mediterranean and sorta much less "bistro."
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Chicken Briwatt : Very good. Delicate yet hearty— but, I am a total sucker for phyllo. Great yogurt sauce too.
Crepe with ham, chicken, some kind of cheese, etc etc : Delicious. Exotic yet approachable. Despite its somewhat overwrought appearance, the flavors are actually distinctive in their congruence— if that makes any sense.
Grilled Octopus and Manila Clams Ragout : Also very good. Perfectly tender seafood. Savory and flavorful. Rustic but intricate all at the same time.
Beet and Goat Cheese Salad : Good. The least exciting/creative dish, but still a cut above most. Two kinds of beets, two types of prep. Fresh and tasty.
Black Kale with Pancetta : Fine. Expertly prepared, but the pancetta doesn’t quite add all the saltiness that’s likely intended. Just a wee bland.
What did you like?
The food was good. Maybe not as mind-blowing as I’d hoped, but really very solid and appealing.
What did you dislike?
Well, a really great martini would have hit the spot…
What was your last impression?
Actually, I wonder if Rick Laakonen is even here tonight. Everything was perfectly satisfactory, but there’s like a "spark" missing…
Would you come back?
The burger and the lamb— I already know what I’m going to order next time.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Oh, you will.
:)
Greatest Hits: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"PX This Mercer Lobby Screaming"
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2005. 11:38AM
omygawd i got thrown out of theMercerHotel yesterday!
aha hah hahaa aah
oh okay that’s not ENTIRELY true. actually i left quietly of my own accord— because i am more than sufficiently aware lois-freedman (director of operations for jean-georges restaurants) doesn’t even HAVE the fucking authority to kick me out of theMercerHotel.
yah so anyways it was a real scene oh you should have been there— the best part was when lois-freedman started screaming at marc-bagutta at the top of her lungs "GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND OOOUT OF HEEERE! I’LL CALL THE COPPPS! IF JEAN-GEORGES WAS HERE, HE WOULD THROW HER OUTTT PERSSSONALLY!" i swear i thought her head was going to start spinning all around like that demonically possessed chick in that spooky exorcist movie.
and there were lots of other peoples (like dean-winters for example) sitting in the hotel lobby too trying to quietly enjoy their wine and tea and whatnot so they got some free entertainment. oh! i am sooo BUMMED i didn’t have any pxthis business cards on me to pass around like "thank yooou, we’ll be here all week."
by the way if you’re wondering why in the world lois-freedman would suddenly just bust out with her bestest impersonation of large-marge the lady truckdriver in Peewee Herman’s Big Adventure— alls i can say is: hmm. beats me!
so then anyways today we called ABhotels corporate office trying to understand why we are supposedly "NOT WELCOME EVVVERRR!"
they were very surprised to hear the news and so sweet saying this is not the case at all since we are such good and frequent patrons of theRaleigh in miami (and plus cuz we’re so faboolous) we are welcome "ANYTIME… ANYWHERE…" they even offered to send me a written apology.
yay!
[they also said something along the lines of "lois who..?" but oh never mind.]
anyhoo. oh yah so that same day after we’d left MercerHotel my pal "bunny"kim (who also used to work for jean-georges) and i went over to CiprianiDowntown to have some bellinis, because the poor thing needed a drink since she was so suddenly and unexpectedly subjected to lois-freedman’s freaky ballistic apeshit episode—
and hee eheee it was great, when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.
then afterward since we were in the area, we decided to pop into Kittichai around the corner.
and it was great, it just so happens dwayne-collins who also used to work with us for jean-georges is now the general manager of Kittichai. so when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.
and right then chef cedric-tovar happened to walk in, and it was great, when we recounted to him what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, he was so amused and felt so sorry for us he invited us over to Django (so he could comp our drinks and send an entire meal from the kitchen too).
geezus if we had kept going, we probably could have eaten for free all week long all over downtown NYC! ha ahaah
… but we were totally stuffed and couldn’t handle any more food so instead we decided to head over to Butter to check out the new monday night party thingie by richie-akiva & scott-sartiano & ronnie-madra.
it was really bunny-kim who wanted to go, so i was kinda totally prepared to despise every last minute of the experience. but actually, it wasn’t bad!
and i saw liev-schreiber & drea-dematteo & andre-harrell & sean-lennon & vincent-gallo & (of course) the olsen-twins. and that was just in the mere 40 minutes we stayed, a whole mess of other faboolous peoples were pouring in just as we were trying to get the fuck out. maybe i’m just too old fer that shit…
pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on February 22, 2005, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
MY rant.
Hey, did you see this? It’s Steve Cuozzo "ranting" about how no "good restaurants" opened in 2010. And then Keith McNally "ranted" in retaliatio… zzzzZZZzzzzzzzZZZzzz…
Huh, wha–? Sorry, I dozed off for a second there. Oh yeah, I was just about to rant my rant in retaliation to those two ranty rants. Why, you ask? Good question— seeing as DUH– nobody gives a fucking rat’s ass about anybody’s stupid, self-important, self-indulgent, sophmoric, idiotic fucking rant.
But hey, I’m just gonna throw my two cents out there, ‘cuozz— well, why not? It’s the internet age! That’s just how we roll. CLEARLY, any two-bit douchebag dipshit with a keyboard and a free Starbucks WiFi connection can pontificate superfluously about whatever the hell they please. And today, FINALLY, is my turn. Hooray!
Firstly, to Steve Cuozzo. Shut the hell up, you clueless, ignorant, obnoxious, pompous, obsequious, slimy TOOL SHED. Oh my Lord, reading your articles (on those very very very rare occasions which I do) makes me want to put a gun to my head, realizing that you actually still have a job as a journalist, because there genuinely remains a substantial contingent of morons out there who buy into your dim-witted drivel.
Not that I give a damn about a single thing or person you mentioned, but did you seriously just criticize certain chefs and restaurateurs for being in too many places at once, while extolling the virtues of not one, but two Jean-Georges restaurants that he opened within weeks of each other while simultaneously overseeing multiple outlets all over the world? Do you not see how hypocritical and downright laughable you sound?
Also, as a looongtime laborer within the NYC Food & Beverage industry, I can inform you (yeah, that’s right— you’re so ignorant you probably have yet to apprehend this) the fine dining industry in NYC for the most part, HATES NY POST-READING DINERS. Ask anybody. A bad review from the NY Post is like a gift from heaven; if it keeps out the arrogant, unsophisticated, self-entitled jerkoffs who read the NY Post, then Hallelujah! That’s half the bane of running a restaurant in NYC extinguished right there.
Pssst, Cuozzo. Oh, if you could only be "on the inside," as I am, and could hear the things that are said about you and your ilk, by the very same people who run to shake your hand upon your arrival. You’d probably be so traumatized, you’d need lithium for life. Do yourself a favor and "retire" to go write your great American novel already, could you? You make us sick, you freak.
Next, to Keith McNally. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Really? Don’t you have anything better to fucking do? Shouldn’t you be out scavenging distressed mirrors and wall tiles for the inevitable Chinese next-incarnation of your "genius-brilliance" or something? As a person who once used to work for you (Yeah, that’s right. Boo!) I can assure you that Frank Bruni got at least ONE thing right in his entire ill-conceived food-writing career, and that’s: You are not a nice man.
Your greatest skill is comprised wholly of your astoundingly systematic ass-kissing of those you deem worthy. Your second greatest skill is merely the fact that you’re only about half as maniacal as your loopy, rampageous brother. And the notion that you think these asinine indignant blusterings of yours are actually beneficial to your business as a whole is mind-blowing. Newsflash, idiot: The reason Pulino’s sucks such a fat dick is because you brought that cheezy icky clientele of yours to yourself.
Ha ha hah— go on now, Keith, run along and pen some other retaliatory unctuous rant e-mail that panders to those pizza-loving clowns. Just remember before you waste your energy— it’s still not going to bring Anna and Sir Anthony Hopkins looking for a banquette in that shithole.
Yours Truly and Sincerely,
*Dick Johnson*
Uh oh:
"A former cook at celeb chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s JoJo Restaurant said she had to endure heaping helpings of sexual harassment… Arlene Keith says she went to work as a meat cook… and was subjected to vile, sexually explicit remarks and advances by another cook… When the alleged victim complained to her boss, he began being abusive to her as well, the lawsuit says…
Vongerichten, named as a defendant but not accused of any harassment, called the suit ‘frivolous.’" [The NY Post]
Hmm.
Well, the last time the Jean Georges organization faced a "frivolous" (or whatever) lawsuit, it cost them $1.75M. (We’re just sayin’.)
I mean, sure, $1.75M may seem like a lot of money to you, but that’s just like spare change or ‘tip money’ to them. Thanks for all your concern sending this news to us and everything, but fret not— apparently, they can afford it!
P.S. Oh yeah, see the "UPDATE" in the title up there? Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
**See also (earlier):
• Jean Georges Enterprises – Shit, meet Fan. Fan, meet Shit. [Part 1 and Part 2]
For more on this story, read PX This – The Revised Edition [and PX This Too (Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010)]
Finally! Yay!
The Amazon page is currently under construction (and God only knows how long that’s going to take to complete), but PX This – The Revised Edition is finally available for sale in the medium of dead trees. Hooray!
Now, before you go criticizing the insanely exorbitant price tag of $29.99, please bear in mind:
a) Neither Abbe Diaz, Pee Ex This Dot Com, nor any of its subsidiaries/affiliates have any control over said price tag. It was calculated by the publisher and printer, based entirely on page count.
b) The price is a reflection of the print version’s "short run" process. This means, unlike in "traditional" publishing, PX This is printed, distributed, and sold in small batches, contrary to the (previously) conventional practice of mass printing books in the thousands, tens-of-thousands, or hundreds-of-thousands of units and dispersing them widely, nationally or internationally, just so said units can eventually end up on bookstores’ forlorn discount tables at 90% off the "suggested retail price."
In other words, yes, you are paying out the wazoo for the print version of PX This – The Revised Edition so you can save trees— and thus subsequently, the world.
The trees and the world thank you. And likewise, so do we.
c) In an effort to offset this insanely exorbitant price tag, PX This – The Revised Edition is currently being offered for FREE in a digitized e-book Portable Document Format. The PDF is compatible with iPad (with GoodReader), Kindle2+, any Mac/PC, or netbook.
What’s the catch, you ask? No catch. Just iterating the deducible obvious: PX This is not in it for the benjamins, homeslice. We’re fucking artists, goddammit!
d) Eventually, PX This – The Revised Edition (and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This) will be available via Amazon’s Kindle Store and Apple’s iBookstore as well— as soon as either or both realize it is an author’s inherent right to publish an e-book in the font style of his/her choice.
Sure, go ahead and argue if you want, you indignant fascist font anal control freak— but would daVinci allow a museum to exhibit the Mona Lisa with purple hair?! We think NOT. (Also, e.e.cummings is sooo rolling over in his grave right now over this shit, bitches. Shame on you! For shame, for shame.)
In any case, we anticipate the price of those e-versions will be $8.00 — a reflection of the current cost of e-conversion, the gray hairs and wrinkles accrued from fighting the good fight, and the percentage share for Apple/Amazon who, ya know, could both really use the money, evidently.
The PDF version will remain free of charge— yeah, not so jazzed about the funky "page-turning" and the font choices now, are ya?
** PX This is also proud to present, by popular demand, The Ministry of Speed © by Abbe Diaz (as referenced in PX This) for your curiosity and/or reading pleasure. **
Thank you for your kind encouragement and continuing support.
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
Started: October 1, 2007. 3:49 PM by *Ferret-n-Chicken!* • Closed: June 24, 2010 11:28AM • Archived at 17,670 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : Who would play the "lead character" in the TV/Cable/Web extravaganza PX This – The Series ?
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Actress Marja Allen-Vongerichten, Thandie Newton, Gary Dourdan, Michelle Malkin, eater.com
GIST OF TOPIC : "DANG. DAT BE A LITTER A’ FINE BITCHEZ! WORD."
SIGNIFICANCE: "DANG. DAT BE A LITTER A’ FINE BITCHEZ! WORD."
Also: PX This – The Revised Edition is about (among other things)… a certain chef, see. Who just happens to have this wife. Who just happens to be an actress. Who just happens to look a lot like Abbe Diaz.
Do you seeee the possibilities? Freaky.
Oh, and also: Who would play YOU ? Mwuahahahahahahahahahaaaa
RATING: ★★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
*Pictured: Abbe Diaz, Marja Allen-Vongerichten, Thandie Newton
** See also (earlier): Abbe Diaz gets Personal
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
THE HOSTESS DIARIES CONSPIRACY
Started: May 27, 2008. 12:47 PM by (Forum Administrator) *jo* • Closed: June 22, 2010 11:56PM • Archived at 15,935 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : New York Times article "My Year at a Hotspot" by Coco Henson Scales, July 11, 2004
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former gawker.com Managing Editor Choire Sicha, Former New York Times food critic Frank Bruni, Former Hue hostess Coco Henson Scales (and friend, William Diggs)
GIST OF TOPIC : Did Choire Sicha and/or Coco Scales (along with Frank Bruni) "conspire" to misappropriate the subject matter in PX This for their own glorification and/or personal gain?
SIGNIFICANCE: In June of 2004, Abbe Diaz purchases a short-running advertising spot within gawker.com to help publicize her book, PX This (Diary of the "Maitre d’ to the Stars"). Within several weeks of that advertisement, the aforementioned article in question, “My Year at a Hotspot,” appears in The New York Times, ostensibly written by former (prominent PX This "character" Karim Amatullah’s) Hue hostess, Coco Henson Scales.
Gawker Editor Choire Sicha declares the article the "best celebrity venality exposé ever!" and goes on to exhort, "if Gawker had a required reading syllabus, it would consist entirely of this article." He then further exalts the article by declaring Coco Scales "The People’s Hero" on his personal blog as well, choiresicha.com (now semi-defunct).
Within hours, "fans" of PX This ("anywhere from 15 to 35 people") send e-mails to Sicha drawing attention to Diaz’s book, with at least one pointing out Diaz’s status as a former advertiser. Diaz herself forwards a mention of her book in the Daily News to Sicha. Sicha responds via e-mail to Diaz (and at least one "enthusiast") but, despite referring to himself as a “big fan,” fails to publicly acknowledge the existence of Diaz’s book in any way.
It is later discovered the climax of Scales’s riveting narrative is completely fictional. Upon speculation as to how a fictional essay (by a previously unknown/unpublished writer) could possibly appear in the New York Times as a non-fictional feature in the first place, it is discovered Choire Sicha "dated Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni for a few months."
Scales has written nothing since.
RATING: ★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
*Pictured (from boston.com): Choire Sicha, Former Gawker blogger, Emily Gould
** See also (earlier): Gawker Loses "Ignorasshole"
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
As you’re probably well aware by now (or more likely, soon will be), occasionally PX This receives ‘fan letters’ and/or encouraging e-mails from people who love the book, inquiring as to why it hasn’t yet been made into "a movie" or "HBO series." Well, I’m right there with you, Mary!
I, Vanilla Ice, longtime PX This fanatic and current part-time PX This blogger / contributor, would also like to know when the hell everyone is going to get their shit together already. Hey, Brian Grazer, get your face out of that chicken pot pie, and let’s make this happen! (Stop worrying about Graybee Baby; he’ll get over it!)
Look, I’ve even taken the liberty of assembling the perfect, awesome, award-winning Hollywood trailer. That’s 90% of the work done, right? I know— I watch Entourage.
You’re welcome, dude!
yah so
by now, yalls have heard all about how poor eric-goode couldn’t get home from europe cuz the big stupid volcano in iceland wouldn’t let him. well, did you even stop to think about all the forlorn europeans and scandinavians and whatnot stranded here for the very same reason? no. no, of course you didn’t.
imagine, say— you were stranded at THOR for days and days on end with absolutely no knowledge of how long it would be before you’re able to return home. and so you went out one night and got drunk and passed out on a new friend’s living room sofa. and then somebody stole your pants, but you didn’t discover it until you awoke the next morning? and thus you had to walk through the strange, crowded, unfamiliar streets of NYC all the way back to THOR without your pants?
wouldn’t you looove if it were all captured on video so you could relive this awesome experience time and time and time again? sure you would— i thought so!
and so, without further ado, PX This presents: The New York Blues with Markus Keller and Marc Swoboda
or ya know— you can also check out professional "snow rider" Marc Swoboda (for Nitro®, Volcom®, Red Bull®, and Nike®) in action—
and/or former Olympian Markus Keller— with his pants.
nyeeah. take that, Page Six.
**See also (earlier):
• Homegirl Meets Coolest Dude Ever
• Euro Gap
• SPOTTED:
***With very special thanks to Kummi "Bunny" Kim
What is this "dialogue" of which you speak?
Sure, he probably didn’t exactly mean to address the F&B industry when he used the phrase "dialogue of the deaf," but Sir Salman Rushdie has a message for you anyway.
(Or, y’know— apply it to the world too, if you must.)
"Writers are very obstinate creatures, and they don’t respond well to being to told to shut up, they tend to speak more loudly when told to shut up… we can rely on [them] to resist that intimidation…" – Sir Salman Rushdie, BBC World News
*See also (earlier): OMG SALMAN RUSHDIE IS MY "FAN"
Oi! So, you think you know what’s what, what? Well, let yer ol’ chum Mark Baker tell you the bloody score, chap. This nightlife business isn’t all jolly good fun ‘n games, innit. This is serious bloody business; you’d be positively knackered and gobsmacked if you’d ever seen some of thing ‘e’s been through. Bloody bollocks, some of it! So, sit yer arse down and ‘ave a lesson. Or bugger off, slag!
Pip pip, cheerio and all that rot.
*See also (earlier):
• Mark Baker’s wedding to Vicky Andren
• PX This presents: The Travel Series
** And, for even more on Mark Baker, read PX This – The Revised Edition (and PX This Too – Coming Soon in the Summer of 2010)
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
oh, here we go. another one of these…
Please rate the Bar:
okay. small, but comfortable. nice enough. and the bartender is sweet— poor child, in that hideous awful uniform.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
ugh i’d already started my evening elsewhere so i completely forgot to look to the wine list. sorry! but one of my guests this evening is a wine aficionado, and she opted for glass of wine, so the offerings can’t be all bad. there’s a pretty sparse selection of liquor though— the bartender did say they’re "working on" the inventory and was kind enough to make note of my request for don-julio blanco. but they did have chopin, so— somebody’s thinking.
also: SoHo prices. of course.
but yet: stoli bev naps. whatever, kids.
Please rate the Dining Room:
it’s okay but personally i think the front dining area is sightly nicer than the back. i would have done it differently, but hey— to each his own. actually i thought it was better than the photo i’d already seen, but my wine snob buddy commented something along the lines of: "was some of this shit here already [in its prior incarnation]? cuz i can’t imagine anyone would throw this look together on purpose." oh snap.
i didn’t think it was that bad— on the contrary, i can well imagine someone did throw this look together very much on purpose (and probably got paid for it too). but i mean, really— i’ve seen worse. (i kinda like the "chandeliers"!)
really bad acoustics, however.
Please rate the BOH:
pretty good. seriously, better than i expected— especially from one of these joints. yesss, Beba is so totally jumping face forward into the whole tired assed nightclub posing as restaurant trend. you just have to take one look at all the lovely staff ladies in those hideous awful uniforms to know this— Hooters® by marc-jacobs (or some shit).
so, i feel a little bad for the poor, sure to be underappreciated BOH. but maybe they’re making such great salaries in the club business they really couldn’t care less.
How was the staff?
sweet. lovely. very pretty. and friendly. those poor girls in those hideous awful fucking uniforms.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
i just tried a bunch of the smaller things cuz, like i said, i wasn’t expecting the food to be that good. there was the "selection of spreads," calamari salad, salmon and tuna tartar, keftedes (meatballs), and grilled sausages. and it was all quite good. a bit fancy (there’s the whole bit with the ice cream scoop presentation for the hummus and taramosalata etc, e.g.) but certainly not cloyingly so. and really very tasty. clean, quality execution. a great twist on greek classics, made with an undoubtedly accomplished, artful hand.
but who cares, right? i know i know, you’re a little too busy right now ogling the Hooters® by marc-jacobs.
What did you like?
the food was really a very pleasant surprise.
What did you dislike?
did i mention how i feel for those poor lovely ladies? i’d rather work for lois-freedman than don one of those atrocious things. and you knooow i mean that shit literally.
What was your last impression?
well, it was sweet of fellow diner matt-levine to say "nice meeting you!"— but uhh, we didn’t actually meet. duh.
Would you come back?
bar, drinks, nibbles— sure, i think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, and best of luck to you.
= "personne extraordinaire"