GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"Beyonce @ Cipriani 55 Wall"
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2005. 11:18AM:
… so last night was the official finale for this season’s Wall Street Concert Series at Cipriani55Wall featuring beyoncé! holy cow she’s gorgeous. i got to sneak in earlier and watch her rehearse and everything, she was all dressed down like she just rolled out of bed, and still she was so beautiful. actually i think she looked better without all the pancake and glitter and whatnot. don’t get me wrong, she was stunning during the concert, but just in her jeans without any makeup— no joke, she looked ten years younger.
anyways, it was a great extravaganza, beyoncé really put on quite the show. she sang and danced and changed her outfit so many times.
eheee at one point she handed her microphone down to alex-rodriguez standing in the audience so he could sing-along, and omygoodness. that poor boy couldn’t carry a tune if it was shaped like a baseball bat.
and the performance in the audience was almost better than the show onstage. all the big ballers (shot-callers and brawlers) were in da house, everybody was glossin and flossin, on and on’in, till six in the mawnin. or something like that.
i saw damon-dash & piddy-diddy & harvey-weinstein & vivi-nevo & flavio-briatore & of course giuseppe-cipriani. i think jay-z arrived late, i didn’t spot him at all until almost the very end of the concert, he was backstage watching from the sidelines and it seemed even beyoncé was surprised to see him there, she looked over when the jumbotron abruptly caught him lurking in the wings and she suddenly beamed and blushed like lovestruck teenager. aww.
oh and harvey-weinstein was totally sweating my dress. i’m just sayin.
… yah so aside from that
last monday (october 31) was a… halloween dinner at Matsuri
… and it was lots of fun everybody was all dressed up in funny costumes. eric-goode was a boyscout. sean-macpherson was a totally convincing jesus-christ. sante-d’orazio was an archbishop. rachel-williams was ummm heidi? saint-paulie girl? something like that. and fisher-stevens was himself.
oh and valentino-garavani & his homeboy giancarlo-giametti were themselves too. do they have halloweenie in italy? i guess not.
… afterward was another party at Crobar…
mark-baker was a pirate. and the lovely vicky-andren was a stepford wife. oliver-stone was some kind of military soldier or veteran or something, i think.
and then later i heard was heidi-klum & seal & usher but i didn’t see any of them because we left by midnight.
finally was a stop at LaEsquina… serge-becker was dressed as a gimp which was totally the best costume all night.
pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on February 22, 2005, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
Greatest Hits: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This). If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX This Too (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"PX This Mercer Lobby Screaming"
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2005. 11:38AM
omygawd i got thrown out of theMercerHotel yesterday!
aha hah hahaa aah
oh okay that’s not ENTIRELY true. actually i left quietly of my own accord— because i am more than sufficiently aware lois-freedman (director of operations for jean-georges restaurants) doesn’t even HAVE the fucking authority to kick me out of theMercerHotel.
yah so anyways it was a real scene oh you should have been there— the best part was when lois-freedman started screaming at marc-bagutta at the top of her lungs "GET YOUR GIRLFRIEND OOOUT OF HEEERE! I’LL CALL THE COPPPS! IF JEAN-GEORGES WAS HERE, HE WOULD THROW HER OUTTT PERSSSONALLY!" i swear i thought her head was going to start spinning all around like that demonically possessed chick in that spooky exorcist movie.
and there were lots of other peoples (like dean-winters for example) sitting in the hotel lobby too trying to quietly enjoy their wine and tea and whatnot so they got some free entertainment. oh! i am sooo BUMMED i didn’t have any pxthis business cards on me to pass around like "thank yooou, we’ll be here all week."
by the way if you’re wondering why in the world lois-freedman would suddenly just bust out with her bestest impersonation of large-marge the lady truckdriver in Peewee Herman’s Big Adventure— alls i can say is: hmm. beats me!
so then anyways today we called ABhotels corporate office trying to understand why we are supposedly "NOT WELCOME EVVVERRR!"
they were very surprised to hear the news and so sweet saying this is not the case at all since we are such good and frequent patrons of theRaleigh in miami (and plus cuz we’re so faboolous) we are welcome "ANYTIME… ANYWHERE…" they even offered to send me a written apology.
yay!
[they also said something along the lines of "lois who..?" but oh never mind.]
anyhoo. oh yah so that same day after we’d left MercerHotel my pal "bunny"kim (who also used to work for jean-georges) and i went over to CiprianiDowntown to have some bellinis, because the poor thing needed a drink since she was so suddenly and unexpectedly subjected to lois-freedman’s freaky ballistic apeshit episode—
and hee eheee it was great, when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.
then afterward since we were in the area, we decided to pop into Kittichai around the corner.
and it was great, it just so happens dwayne-collins who also used to work with us for jean-georges is now the general manager of Kittichai. so when we recounted to everybody what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, they were so amused and felt so sorry for us they comped our drinks and sent an entire meal from the kitchen too.
and right then chef cedric-tovar happened to walk in, and it was great, when we recounted to him what just occurred in theMercerHotel lobby, he was so amused and felt so sorry for us he invited us over to Django (so he could comp our drinks and send an entire meal from the kitchen too).
geezus if we had kept going, we probably could have eaten for free all week long all over downtown NYC! ha ahaah
… but we were totally stuffed and couldn’t handle any more food so instead we decided to head over to Butter to check out the new monday night party thingie by richie-akiva & scott-sartiano & ronnie-madra.
it was really bunny-kim who wanted to go, so i was kinda totally prepared to despise every last minute of the experience. but actually, it wasn’t bad!
and i saw liev-schreiber & drea-dematteo & andre-harrell & sean-lennon & vincent-gallo & (of course) the olsen-twins. and that was just in the mere 40 minutes we stayed, a whole mess of other faboolous peoples were pouring in just as we were trying to get the fuck out. maybe i’m just too old fer that shit…
pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on February 22, 2005, for archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX This Too (The Sequel to PX This) – Coming in the Autumn of 2010
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
Ya know, just in case you were wondering.
Go, Heikki Sorsa! ♡
** See also (earlier):
• Homegirl Meets Coolest Dude Ever
• SPOTTED: Heikki Sorsa and Paris Hilton…
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
Started: October 1, 2007. 3:49 PM by *Ferret-n-Chicken!* • Closed: June 24, 2010 11:28AM • Archived at 17,670 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : Who would play the "lead character" in the TV/Cable/Web extravaganza PX This – The Series ?
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Actress Marja Allen-Vongerichten, Thandie Newton, Gary Dourdan, Michelle Malkin, eater.com
GIST OF TOPIC : "DANG. DAT BE A LITTER A’ FINE BITCHEZ! WORD."
SIGNIFICANCE: "DANG. DAT BE A LITTER A’ FINE BITCHEZ! WORD."
Also: PX This – The Revised Edition is about (among other things)… a certain chef, see. Who just happens to have this wife. Who just happens to be an actress. Who just happens to look a lot like Abbe Diaz.
Do you seeee the possibilities? Freaky.
Oh, and also: Who would play YOU ? Mwuahahahahahahahahahaaaa
RATING: ★★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
*Pictured: Abbe Diaz, Marja Allen-Vongerichten, Thandie Newton
** See also (earlier): Abbe Diaz gets Personal
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
but if you’re really bored, feel free to entertain yourself by familiarizing yourself with some of pee ex this dot com’s history before you read PX This Too (the Sequel to PX This).
look— you can start here! and then just keep following all the links backward until you can’t stand it anymore. it’ll be oodles of fun!
oh and by the way, PX This Too is going to be a bit behind schedule. obviously the printed (and official Kindle and iBook, etc) version[s] of the Revised Edition are running late and so that kinda pushes the whole rest of the mess back too.
thank you.
:)
** See also (earlier): The Dog Ate My Homework
Happy Unoffiical Start of Summer! It is now time to [un]officially stop whining about the interminable cold and gloom and start bitching about the unbearable heat and humidity! Hooray!
Or— you can cool off for a minute with this (and umm, a RedBull®, I guess).
[Did we say "See you Tuesday"? We lied; we're still on vacation. See you tomorrow.]
:)
**See also (earlier):
• Homegirl Meets Coolest Dude Ever
• Euro Gap
• SPOTTED: [Volume 15]
**SQUEEEEEEEE!**
eat that, bitches!
:)
i just had to screen capture that, in case he actually reads my book and then— aha ha haa ah argh augh uggh sob!— changes his mind.
but for now: yay! yay! yippee! hooray!
FREE E-BOOKS FOR EVERYBODY!
xoxo
p.s. if you would like to join the esteemed ranks of Salman Rushdie (and Fabio Trabocchi! booooya.) and be my "fan"— or even my lamp, or even my chair or whatever
please "fan" "like" me here —> http://www.facebook.com/pages/PX-This-by-abbe-diaz/40291641324
THANK YOU ♥
the shit i go through – #001
"see this retarded shit i have to go through? going places i don’t want and being forced to meet peoples just to prove i am real…" – abbe diaz, PX This, page 216.
MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010. yah so here is today’s shit. beefin with kevin-smith’s fanatics ha ha haa ahaa i am not even kidding. looong story, don’t even get me started. but if you did read (or intend to read) PX This, it goes a little something like umm piglets —> ben-affleck —> kevin-smith —> beefin with fanatics. don’t worry, it’s covered more fully in PX This Too (coming soon in the summer of 2010!) and believe it or not, if you have no idea what i’m talking about right now, it’s not nearly all as mumbly jumbly in the end as it sounds. i think.
anyways if you’re bored and you need a giggle, here is an example of some of the shit i go through:
(click here) —> http://viewaskew.com/theboard/viewtopic.php?p=4310778#4310778
i’m just sayin. bitches
:)
PX This – The Revised Edition – FREE E-BOOK HERE
Former “Maitre d’ to the Stars” to Release Second Book
Here’s a "blind item" for you:
Which restaurateurs are none too pleased with the impending release of PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This? Worse yet, the timely upcoming launch of PX This – The Revised Edition just happens to coincide with the recent openings of two high-profile Manhattan restaurants. Anonymous e-mails sent to this website seem to indicate some ‘characters’ are indeed up to their old shenanigans. Some things never change!
But some things do change! For the better, even. Like for example: PX This – The Revised Edition! Now with enhanced content, photos, and a preview excerpt from PX This Too!
And to celebrate the forthcoming launch of PX This Too [The Sequel to PX This]— coming in the Summer of 2010, the e-book version of PX This – The Revised Edition is FREE! [Print version coming soon!]
This is a limited time offer— so get your FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition for your iPad / Kindle2+ / netbook etc NOW! Hooray!
:)
Jonny Cruz performing for Heartthrobs&Friends at The Hammerstein Ballroom.
To hear more music from former F&B/Nightlife Superstar, Jonny Cruz, visit ReverbNation.
You better worrrk.
Renowned chef Philippe Chow demonstrates his technique for the world-famous chicken satay— for a ’standing room only’ crowd at Macy’s Herald Square, Thursday, April 1st.
Mmmmm, sataaay…
Aaaand, now we have to kill you.
* with special thanks to Stratis Morfogen
Chef John deLucie of the famous Waverly Inn cooked papardelle with roasted butternut squash and mushrooms at Bloomingdales on Lexington Ave, and you totally missed it. Doesn’t he look cute?
By the way, have you read The Hunger yet? What are you waiting for?
Dick Johnson: Knock knock.
abbe diaz: just get on with it.
DJ: LOL. Sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood… OK, so you saw the Crain’s article?
ad: yah
DJ: What, no rampage in the Crain’s comments section from "Crazypants"? Your fan club must be so disappointed.
ad: what is there to "rampage" about? did you read the article? i thought it was good. it’s nice to see a bit of true, impartial news for a change. there’s nothing for me to refute.
DJ: Eater dotcom commenters are calling for your rebuttal. Or at least, one comment says it’s "surprised" you haven’t denied it on PX This.
ad: yah, i saw it. whatever. i only deny what ISN’T TRUE, duh.
DJ: So, you’re not going to comment? Enquiring minds want to know…
ad: want to know what? nobody asked me any questions.
DJ: OK, fine. I’m asking you.
ad: and i really appreciate that, thanks. but i still don’t see a question.
DJ: What’s going on with Mangia 57th and Centro Vinoteca’s filing for Chapter 11?
ad: is that what i’m supposed to comment on? i’m not their publicist you know. and i have neither the inclination nor the authority to discuss their business with anyone.
are you asking me my personal opinion? because that’s a different story.
DJ: But, by your own admission, you do consult with them occasionally. Word on the internet is you get "highly paid" to do so, right?
ad: Mangia and Centro, obviously, as a company, have plenty of attorneys and advisors. my advice wasn’t sought on this matter, but if it had been, i would have said i wholeheartedly agree with their latest course of action. hypothetically speaking.
DJ: Yes! Let’s play "Hypothetically Speaking"! This should be fun.
ad: loads.
DJ: Hypothetically Speaking: Restaurant Enterprise-101
ad: probably more like RestaurantEnterprise:410, but whatever.
DJ: Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on a company like Mangia57th filing Chapter 11?
ad: ooh. really? what a nice question! hmm, well let’s see—
first of all, let’s assume it’s a company juuust like Mangia57. well, according to the Crain’s article, it would "[owe] creditors less than $10 million."
okay, well let’s say— if i were simply an objective observer and not just some dumb idiot creepface looking to gleefully tapdance on somebody’s grave, i would say that seems like an awful little amount to file over. under $10M total? (i actually very much like how the Crain’s article almost seems to be scratching its head over this one, as well.)
i mean, i would think this would be relatively easy to confirm, but i would assume a company like Mangia takes in about $1M per WEEK.
also— a debt of $335,000 to the landlord and (a disputable) $260,000 to the state? that’s less than $600,000.
i mean… for example, i know of another company juuust like Mangia, and last year their BANK FEES ALONE were about $600,000.
which! brings me to another point.
hey did you see how some of the banks have been rahrah’ing lately because they’re apparently about to pay back billions of dollars in bailout money collected from unsuspecting taxpayers? isn’t it amazing how they were able to raise all that profit so quickly?
oh wait— maybe not so amazing? cuz peoples all over the country are complaining about how their fees have skyrocketed and how the banks do creepy things like intentionally approve all your debit purchases and withdraw monthly fees at random intervals so that when you happen to spend over your available balance because you had no cash on you but you bought a pack of gum at the deli, now suddenly that gum costs you $35 in overdraft fees?
and dumbass that you are, you also went to Kinko’s for your boss and charged another $3.00 on your debit card for copies (expecting to be reimbursed), but now the transaction for those copies have just cost you ANOTHER $35 overdraft fee? so now you just spent $70 on $3 worth of copies and a pack of gum?
now— if last year those banks made that kind of money off the average broke-assed citizen, what exactly do you think is happening to big companies like Mangia?
i mean, imagine instead of say your monthly $15 checking fee they automatically debited (which you thought you still had in your account and that’s why you bought the pack of gum at the deli and charged the copies at Kinko’s in the first place)— that monthly fee was ohhh like $40,000.00?
do you see how that could occasionally be kinda problematic?
now let’s say you went to the bank and you waited on line and you finally got to sit and talk to one of those peoples in the little desk cubicle thingies—
and you said, "hey banker dude. i’ve been your banking customer for dozens of years now and we’ve never had a problem like this before. why do i owe you $70 for a pack of gum and $3 worth of copies from Kinko’s? if you hadn’t taken out that $15 monthly fee… what’s that? it’s $25 now? that’s outrageous!… well you didn’t tell me the price went up and that it would be withdrawn so randomly… how do you expect me to pay an additional $80 in fees for a pack of gum and Kinko’s copies?"
and the bank dude replied, "yesssss, thank you so much for your patronage over the years. suck it. we have bailout funds to pay back cuz president-obama won’t let us get our multimillion dollar bonuses."
hmm.
i don’t know bout you, but if i had another option (and lots of attorneys and advisors!), i’d be damned if i’m paying that $80. i’m just sayin.
that was fun! next question?
DJ: LOL. I’m glad you asked, because I do have another question. What about Centro Vinoteca filing Chapter 11? Oh sorry, I mean HYPOTHETICALLY, what about a company LIKE Centro Vinoteca filing Chapter 11?
ad: wow. another great question!
well, HYPOTHETICALLY, let me ask you this. how does one prove, exactly, you know something?
DJ: Beg pardon? You’re not making sense.
ad: yah exactly, thank you.
okay
how about— let’s just say… i lost… an umbrella, for example. and then i said to you, "hey dick-johnson. where’s my umbrella?"
and you reply, "i don’t know." and i say, "yes you do." and you say, "no, i don’t." and i rebut, "but i told you where i left it." and you retort, "no you didn’t, are you smoking crack or something?" and i respond, "yes i told you where it was." and you insist, "no, you did not." and i dispute, "yes i did. well, at least, i told willie-wang where i put the umbrella and i’m sure he told you." and you assert, "willie-wang didn’t tell me shit. i don’t know where your stupid umbrella is."
and so i tell you, "well, i’m sure i told willie-wang to tell you where the umbrella is and now i can’t find it, so now you have to buy me a new umbrella."
and you answer, "what? i never knew where your jackassed umbrella was. i never saw it, i never touched it, you never told me where you put it, and willie-wang never said anything to me about it. period end of story."
and i say, "well, i don’t care what you say, you’re still buying me a new umbrella."
so you ask, "i had nothing to do with you losing your umbrella. why should i buy you a new umbrella?"
and i respond: "cuz it was a really really fancy expensive umbrella and YOU are the only one who can afford it."
i wonder— would you buy me a new umbrella or would you tell me to go fuck myself?
DJ: Oh, I would definitely tell you to go fuck yourself.
ad: i thought so. next question?
DJ: So, are you saying Leah Cohen didn’t leave Centro Vinoteca because of cashflow problems?
ad: as far as i know, she’s on her way to southeast asia and she’ll be traveling for nine months. does that sound like somebody who wasn’t making money to you? better yet, why don’t you just ask her.
DJ: Is the Gusto Ristorante townhouse for sale? Can I buy it?
ad: i think the only way to answer that question is to MAKE AN OFFER ALREADY. be sure to bring along a certified check.
DJ: OK, one last question. Can I blog about the you-know-what now? Seeing as the cat’s… kind of out of the bag and all?
ad: frankly my dear i don’t give a shit.
= "personne extraordinaire"