PX Me. (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
When Abbe Diaz published her journal, PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" [née Diary of the Potted Plant] in 2004, she’d had no idea Read more…
PX Me. (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
When Abbe Diaz published her journal, PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" [née Diary of the Potted Plant] in 2004, she’d had no idea what she was in for. Sure, she expected the process would be difficult and she might never work in the fine dining restaurant industry ever again, but she never imagined the truth could be so controversial— in a book that’s essentially about HAVING DINNER.
Despite PX This being lauded by most of her colleagues (and some of the most illustrious names in the business) as "the bible of the [NYC] industry," Diaz soon learned the politics of Food and/or "Culture" Media & PR is a game that’s dirtier than last night’s dishes. Finding herself under unjustified fire from various vastly popular and influential periodicals, news blogs, food press, online foodie communities, and other professional and aspiring writers, Diaz (a textbook Scorpio/Monkey) quickly realized [again] there were two things in her life she would never be willing to do: 1) Take unmerited bullshit, and 2) Kiss spiteful pretentious ass.
As you can probably imagine, that went over reeeally well. Mistruths, mudslinging, manipulation, misappropriation, corruption, censorship, and the tarnishing of her character— as well as the livelihoods of her friends and loved ones— are just some of the things she subsequently endured.
This is that story.
"This writing stuff is HARD." – Salman Rushdie (to friends on Facebook®)
"If you think the writing is hard, wait ’til you try the selling part. Oh, wait…" – Abbe Diaz (in response to friend, Salman Rushdie, on Facebook®)
PX Me – The Sequel to PX This
(How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous,
and Married a Millionaire)
- COMING SOON IN THE SPRING OF 2012 -
DP/Videographer: Jim Turner
Composer: Amir Salem aka Azeem
Production Assistant: Eric S. Smith
Voiceover: Brad Aldous
New Blogger: Kevin Coyle
Friend: Katina Carrao
Head Honcho: Brady Bryson
Co-Worker: Amir Salem
With cameos: Gabriel Snyder, Emily Gould, Josh Ozersky, Choire Sicha, Joshua David Stein, Ben Leventhal
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Abbe Diaz is a freelance commercial-artist, designer/dressmaker, and restaurant consultant. She has worked in the restaurant/bar industry for nearly 25 years, with numerous stints throughout the New York dining/party scene that include: Limelight, Palladium, Tunnel, Club USA, Coffee Shop, Spy, Cafe Tabac, The Strand (Miami Beach), Mercer Kitchen, Ilo, Lotus, and Theo. She served as the opening maître d’ for The Park, Smith, and 66.
She is proud to have had the opportunity to work under such nightlife arbiters as: Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Brian McNally, Jonathan Morr, Peter Gatien, Eric Goode, and Sean Macpherson.
Diaz gained a B.A. in Economics from Rutgers College, Rutgers University – New Brunswick. She was further educated as a non-matriculate Design student at the Fashion Institute of Technology, in NYC, where she currently resides.
• “The New York service industry’s Norma Rae, Abbe Diaz… the Service Industry’s Nikke Finke…” – BlackBook
• “…pure unbridled crazy batshitness…” – gawker.com
• “That is genius.” – Joel Stein, Time
For more information about PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" visit http://pxthis.com/thebook
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
MY rant.
Hey, did you see this? It’s Steve Cuozzo "ranting" about how no "good restaurants" opened in 2010. And then Keith McNally "ranted" in retaliatio… zzzzZZZzzzzzzzZZZzzz…
Huh, wha–? Sorry, I dozed off for a second there. Oh yeah, I was just about to rant my rant in retaliation to those two ranty rants. Why, you ask? Good question— seeing as DUH– nobody gives a fucking rat’s ass about anybody’s stupid, self-important, self-indulgent, sophmoric, idiotic fucking rant.
But hey, I’m just gonna throw my two cents out there, ‘cuozz— well, why not? It’s the internet age! That’s just how we roll. CLEARLY, any two-bit douchebag dipshit with a keyboard and a free Starbucks WiFi connection can pontificate superfluously about whatever the hell they please. And today, FINALLY, is my turn. Hooray!
Firstly, to Steve Cuozzo. Shut the hell up, you clueless, ignorant, obnoxious, pompous, obsequious, slimy TOOL SHED. Oh my Lord, reading your articles (on those very very very rare occasions which I do) makes me want to put a gun to my head, realizing that you actually still have a job as a journalist, because there genuinely remains a substantial contingent of morons out there who buy into your dim-witted drivel.
Not that I give a damn about a single thing or person you mentioned, but did you seriously just criticize certain chefs and restaurateurs for being in too many places at once, while extolling the virtues of not one, but two Jean-Georges restaurants that he opened within weeks of each other while simultaneously overseeing multiple outlets all over the world? Do you not see how hypocritical and downright laughable you sound?
Also, as a looongtime laborer within the NYC Food & Beverage industry, I can inform you (yeah, that’s right— you’re so ignorant you probably have yet to apprehend this) the fine dining industry in NYC for the most part, HATES NY POST-READING DINERS. Ask anybody. A bad review from the NY Post is like a gift from heaven; if it keeps out the arrogant, unsophisticated, self-entitled jerkoffs who read the NY Post, then Hallelujah! That’s half the bane of running a restaurant in NYC extinguished right there.
Pssst, Cuozzo. Oh, if you could only be "on the inside," as I am, and could hear the things that are said about you and your ilk, by the very same people who run to shake your hand upon your arrival. You’d probably be so traumatized, you’d need lithium for life. Do yourself a favor and "retire" to go write your great American novel already, could you? You make us sick, you freak.
Next, to Keith McNally. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Really? Don’t you have anything better to fucking do? Shouldn’t you be out scavenging distressed mirrors and wall tiles for the inevitable Chinese next-incarnation of your "genius-brilliance" or something? As a person who once used to work for you (Yeah, that’s right. Boo!) I can assure you that Frank Bruni got at least ONE thing right in his entire ill-conceived food-writing career, and that’s: You are not a nice man.
Your greatest skill is comprised wholly of your astoundingly systematic ass-kissing of those you deem worthy. Your second greatest skill is merely the fact that you’re only about half as maniacal as your loopy, rampageous brother. And the notion that you think these asinine indignant blusterings of yours are actually beneficial to your business as a whole is mind-blowing. Newsflash, idiot: The reason Pulino’s sucks such a fat dick is because you brought that cheezy icky clientele of yours to yourself.
Ha ha hah— go on now, Keith, run along and pen some other retaliatory unctuous rant e-mail that panders to those pizza-loving clowns. Just remember before you waste your energy— it’s still not going to bring Anna and Sir Anthony Hopkins looking for a banquette in that shithole.
Yours Truly and Sincerely,
*Dick Johnson*
For want of a better title to depict today’s issue, I’ve decided to start a new PX This feature, wherein we address all the overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel we’re totally sick of.
Why, you ask? As in— if we’re sick of it, why are even discussing it? Well, that’s a very good point. However, I’ve spent some time lately familiarizing myself with the search engine keywords guiding our fair visitors (in an effort to be a more informative "blah-grrr"), and I’ve deduced there are indeed a whole lot of people out there in need of our unique and keenly knowledgeable insight, particularly to assist in weeding through all that misleading overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel out there.
Yes, it’s a rough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
You’re welcome!
Are We Sick of Josh Ozersky Yet?
The answer is naturally: Yes, of course we are. We’re sick to death of him.
But, we still couldn’t help but be eye-rollingly amused by tools-of-a-feather, circle-jerk-brethren, ethics-lacking "journalist" Joshua David Stein‘s hare-brained defense of his pal, Josh Ozersky— titled (or rather, mis-titled), "Why People are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky."
In it, Stein unleashes a staggering god-knows-how-many words in some kind of spurious attempt to elucidate the reader with an answer to his superfluous question. And yet somehow still fails to surmise the obvious:
People Are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky Because He is a Glaringly Clueless, Over-Bloated, Publicist-Indentured, Sycophantic, Unethical, Freeloading Tool.
Luckily! — The comments section of said article provide ample (hilarious) enlightenment.
To wit:
"Pretty good but a major reason (probably THE major reason) for people dogpiling on Ozersly is that he just isn’t that great at what he does (his fact-checking is horrific, which suggests that his depth of knowledge of his subject matter is shallow), but he’s a cocky bastard. He’s also an utterly shameless self-promoter. And he goes way beyond a free meal or a free bottle of booze here and there. The guy has elevated, or dropped pay-for-press to a new level. The La Frieda and Hanson stuff is especially egregious. He makes himself extremely easy to hate and all of this is his own fault."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605684
"Most internet food writing (blogging, whatever) is just the regurgitation of press releases. That’s why they’re always talking about the same things at the same time and why so many of them publish the same error-riddled stories. It’s basically block-save "writing" (don’t call it journalism, because it isn’t) by callow people who know very lttle about their subject. The worst cases, like Ozersky, actually believe that they are expert in their field. And they’re easily bought off, usually for cheap. Ozersky just upped the ante in the low-rent, freeloading game with this $50,000 or so boondoggle. He’s the shit king of turd mountain now."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605786
Yeah, of the 32 or so comments attached (not to mention the pretentious, verbose article) that essentially pretty much sums up the solution to the conundrum right there. And we didn’t even have to write it! (Neither, apparently, should have Stein.)
We’re just sayin’ elaboratin’.
**********************************************************
** See also (earlier):
• Grubstreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant (& Stupid)
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical
• Gawker Loses “Ignorasshole”
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb
• Abbe Diaz vs Gawker
*** For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autmn of 2010 ***
NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or “Dumb”)
When we last visited the subject of Josh Ozersky, he was deservedly being ridiculed on national television. Well, it would appear his latest shameless attempt at self-aggrandizement has backfired as well. Some people never learn.
Ozersky, known in and amongst the industry as a "clueless, over-bloated, publicist-indentured sycophant" and "notorious freeloader," apparently penned a "self-centered and egomaniacal" editorial for Time magazine about his own recent wedding, wherein he "extolled the virtues of using restaurant chefs instead of caterers," "prais[ed] the food to the skies," and then failed to disclose all the goods and services he received for said wedding were completely gratis.
For all you non-Latin-speaking folks at home, that means Josh Ozersky engaged in a blatant breach of journalistic integrity.
LOL!
I know, I know, you’re arching your brow right now and wondering, "Sooo— where’s the newsflash, Dick? I may not speak Latin, but this here folk at home knows allll about this tool already. Isn’t this what PX This has been saying all along? I mean like, duh!"
Hey, I was being sarcastic in that title up there, OK? Plus, there is another point I wanted to make:
See all this pertinent new information in here I wanted to add to a previous story?
Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
** See also:
• “NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb”
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
This photograph is dedicated to our fan, “Blah.” I think I stole it off of someone’s Facebook page, but I can’t even say for sure, because I don’t remember.
Happy Thursday!
:)
**SQUEEEEEEEE!**
eat that, bitches!
:)
i just had to screen capture that, in case he actually reads my book and then— aha ha haa ah argh augh uggh sob!— changes his mind.
but for now: yay! yay! yippee! hooray!
FREE E-BOOKS FOR EVERYBODY!
xoxo
p.s. if you would like to join the esteemed ranks of Salman Rushdie (and Fabio Trabocchi! booooya.) and be my "fan"— or even my lamp, or even my chair or whatever
please "fan" "like" me here —> http://www.facebook.com/pages/PX-This-by-abbe-diaz/40291641324
THANK YOU ♥
We’ve always been leery of the boring, idiotic world of Josh Ozersky (and the numerous incarnations of his online bullshit), but a video segment from The Soup was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Ozersky— a "clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophant[ic]" blogger— was in fact pilloried by No Reservations (and subsequently, The Soup), a cringe-inducing event publicized by Ozersky’s food blogger peers and former colleagues. (All of Ozersky’s blog entries read like interminable clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophantic pontifications tapped out by the jittery, chubby fingers of a man who can’t wait to get his hands on his next donut-bacon-cheeseburger). We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you’re a trite, pathetic, snooze-inducing dweebshit, don’t go on national television.
** See also:
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
*********************************************
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
"eew, that’s gabriel-snyder" [UPDATE]
Right now, most of you are likely asking, "Who the hell is Gabriel Snyder?" Well, let me remind you!
Gabriel Snyder is the former managing editor of a website called Gawker. As you may or may not realize, PX This has a long, long, sordid history with Gawker. Well, to make a lengthy story short: Our founder, Abbe Diaz, was once a fan of Gawker. She was an early advertiser with them, a longtime avid, insightful "commenter" and even the subject of several of Gawker’s blog posts. Then one day, Gabriel Snyder effectively censored Abbe Diaz’s opinion by "banning" her without just cause or valid explanation, in a manner contrary and hypocritical to Gawker’s ostensible comment/discussion system.
This just in: Gabriel Snyder has been replaced as managing editor of Gawker.
I know what you’re thinking – "That’s so amazing, Dick Johnson! You’re so awesome!" [Thank you!]
But, you’re also thinking, "Really, though, who gives a shit about that dweeb? We actually don’t really care."
Yes, I know, I see your point. But, there is another point I wanted to make:
See the "[UPDATE]" in the title of this post up top?
Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
For more on this story, please read PX Me – Coming soon in the Spring of 2012
MORE on Sevigny & Khan (& Civetta. Sort of.)
When we broke the story on Civetta’s closing, little did we realize it would become the *Nightlife Bloggers’ SAT on Reading Comprehension. Or maybe that’s more like the Jellus Bloggers’ SAT on Integrity and Pettiness? Whatever! We digress.
This just in from a tipster: "Did you see your old buddy Steve [Lewis]‘s column today? Funny how Nur [Khan] supposedly denies working with Paul [Sevigny]… from what I hear, they maybe are looking into a space in SoHo together, and Brad Zipper is their money guy… I don’t know how (or if) he fits into Civetta, though."
Another source adds: "…I have seen Brad [Zipper] at Civetta a couple times — he does live around the corner and is quite friendly with the staff… but I wouldn’t say that he’s involved in Civetta…"
And yet a third ‘insider’ speculates: "If I had to make a semi-educated guess, I’d say it could be possible there are two deals in the works? If the so-called SoHo space with Zipper is a go, it might still be a ways off… the Civetta thing would be a way for them to start up now, get their feet wet, then move along to the next project once that’s in the swing of things…"
*By the way, what does "the new Beatrice" even mean? As far as we know, The Beatrice Inn is CLOSED, indefinitely— just as we predicted (despite various uninformed opinions throughout the blogosphere contrary to our deduction). When Eric Goode & Co opened MK, did they call it "the new" Area? When Peter Gatien built Club USA, was it called "the new" Limelight? Hmm, perhaps they were— by those who were narrow-minded, shortsighted and ignorant.
The Beatrice Inn was the name of the space at 258 W 12th St, long before Matt Abramcyk and Paul Sevigny took over. For anyone to take that very same name and apply it to another location would, in short, be asinine.
Might we suggest pulling your head out of your navel for a change, and try some real erudition on for size. You might be amazed at what you can learn about reality and our industry if you just freed your hands from that circle jerk, and say (for example)— picked up a book every once in a while.
But you probably aready knew that from experience, right? Well, here’s even more confirmation.
Recently, former nightlife impresario Steve Lewis blogged about one of his many friends and acquaintances (as is his wont). Normally, his work is of the ‘take with a grain of salt’ nature – most preposterous and controvertible to those in and around the nightlife industry (comprehensibly), and most credible and tenable to – well, everyone else, I suppose (perceivably).
GoldBar’s Jon Lennon was the subject of the day on July 15, 2009. Steve Lewis’s article starts, "Nightclub 101: the door is everything." LOL! Yea, as you can well imagine, it only goes downhill from there.
The column proceeds with Lewis’s typical flotsam and bullshit jetsam, most notably in the precise words "consummate pro" to describe Doorman Lennon. It culminates with these sentiments, expressed by Lennon himself in a Q&A interview:
SL: Tell me how you educate a person.
JL: I just have a brief conversation with them. I even have taken people to the side to do it, where I say, I know you’re a nice guy, your girlfriend is very beautiful, your two friends I can’t do….
SL: You wake up in the morning and you’re doing the door, and you’re thinking…
JL: Always. That’s my personality anyway, thinking about it. I try to remember, “you’re a doorman, as much as you’re in a powerful position, you’re still just a doorman, you’re everyone’s equal.” It never gets to my head because I’d rather be a rock star…
From what I gather, this is where a certain reader (we happen to know) lost her shit. She addresses Steve Lewis via Facebook, stating:
[Abbe Diaz at 5:42pm July 15]
um, excuse me? "consummate pro"– OH RILLY.
sorry, i would never ever ever ever in a million years define telling a prospective patron [at 10PM]: "well, if he owns seven restaurants in manhattan then he can afford to take care of ME. is he asking ME for a favor? then he needs to take care of ME."
(and yes that’s a DIRECT QUOTE)
as the act of a "consummate pro."
The rest of the exchange, including Lennon’s (pedestrian and idiotic) response is here.
Yeah yeah, OK. A doorman is a stupid idiot. It’s because you couldn’t get in, right? Loser! What’s your point, Vanilla Ice? I’ve got the Media holding on Line 1, and they want to know where’s the newsflash already.
Hey, did you read the title? My point is Jon Lennon is a Tool Box. I just wanted to brag again about how brilliant I am (I’m also the "Trollai Llama" in case you didn’t know) and point out how absurdly, hilariously (and contemptibly) it all played out [scroll down the comments, starting with abbe diaz's on July 29, 2009 4:54PM].
L O fucking L. God bless teh internets.
OMG the hipsters are taking over. ugh. gagh. blergh. BLECCCH.
last night was dinner at one of my favoritest places. and can you fucking believe it– one of my most UNfavoritest creepfaces on the planet was there. what the fuck. shouldn’t he be on a stoop or a rooftop or in some internet cafe or some shit in brooklyn somewheres? i mean– SURELY the west village is too bourgeois for him, no? GO AWAY JERKHEAD.
yah so
there i am trying to enjoy my dinner at my regular weekly haunt when, lo and behold, who should come and plop his dorky ass at the table right behind me. gabriel "dweebface" snyder. nice sneakers, scrotumhead. whassa matter– Goodwill was out of Hush Puppies?
so right away (after i suppress the bile bubbling forth and ingurgitate my cud and overcome my gag reflex and roll my eyes into my head) i say to my date: "eew. that’s gabriel snyder." and then i explain who gabriel snyder is.
my date responds: "ohhhh… should i say something to him?" and starts to rise out of his seat.
but i stop him.
why?
because (aside from the fundamental axiom he shouldn’t fight my battles for me) gabriel-snyder just happens to be sitting with richard-johnson, paula-froelich, corynne-steindler, chris-wilson, tom-sykes, and a half dozen other gawd only knows who elses. in other words, ya know– i was suddenly overwhelmed by visions of an imperial shihtzu in a pool of piranhas, if you hear what i’m sayin.
some other time, gabriel-snyder.
BITE ME, BITCH.
** See also: The UPDATE on Gabriel Snyder**
= "personne extraordinaire"