F&F: Fat Radish

November 5th, 2010 by Guest Contributor

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

 

Fat Radish

What was your first impression?
OK frankly, it was Pichet Ong who first told us of this place. So that piqued our curiosity. Unfortunately, after a wee bit more scrutiny, we realized we simply don’t have the motivation to bust out the GPS and make the trek alls the way over to the Lower East Side for this. (Just not our thing, sorry!)

So thank goodness we found somebody percipient enough to fill-in for us! Hooray! Take it awaaay, GastroChic!

Please rate the Bar:
Oh. Hmm. Well… you can see a corner of it in the photograph! Looook, hipsters! Or… something. Yay!

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Whoops— not much of a drinker here, but: "…Fortunately, the Fat Radish serves a good Pinot Noir – even if it is biodynamic."
[Yeah, you didn’t need that martini anyways; weren’t you thinking of starting your liver-cleanse right about now? So, let’s just move it along…]

Please rate the Dining Room:
"[An] important consideration for fashion people when selecting a restaurant is that other fashion people dine there. Otherwise, one may be in the wrong sort of place, or worse, a place that no one cares about. Thus, my friend and I were immediately put at ease by the crowd of models, dandies, and fashionably dressed women with artfully disheveled hair that had flocked to this new restaurant on the border of the middle of nowhere. Ecru-washed, perfectly distressed brick walls formed the basis of an urban rustic interior with communal tables, leaded glass windows and a roomy bar area. Everyone looked fabulous in the candlelight."

Please rate the BOH:
"[This is] a restaurant endorsed by fashion people and vegetarians, [but] I was not going to leave hungry, as at horrid Zen Palate on Union Square, which, in a twist of fate that could only be its rightfully deserved karma, became a TGI Friday’s… There’s nary a pig’s foot in sight. Instead the array of greens and legumes on the menu speaks to the fact that that the Brits were into this organic, locally-sourced thing way before we were. Look at Prince Charles and his cute little vegetable garden!"

How was the staff?
"When fashion people heartily endorse a restaurant, one’s suspicions are immediately aroused… Owned by the people behind Silkstone, a catering company that caters largely to – surprise! – the fashion industry…" [Ah ha. So the staff is fabulous, got it. And clearly they didn’t suck, so… good.]

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Duck Rillette (Special) : "… a paté of shredded duck served with toasts, onion jam and whole grain mustard… slightly gamey, gratifyingly chewy."
Raw Vegetables in Olive Tapenade (Amuse Bouche) :
"Calorie count; approximately -6"
Cauliflower Salad with Curried Yogurt Dressing : "… like inspired vegetarian restaurant Dirt Candy [without] the butter… part-raw, part-roasted… Just tasting it made me feel like Gwyneth Paltrow on a really fat day."
Monkfish Vindaloo : "looked intriguing, and indeed, it was a classic Indian dish that had been tricked into being good for you. Fat Radish’s version has all the heady spice of the original, but without any of the oil in actual Indian food. What you lose in the bargain, however, is the binding agent that pulls all the flavors together. The choice of proteins was apt, since monkfish is one of the few fish strong enough to stand up to vindaloo’s pungency. Nubbly whole grain rice added nutty flavor, texture and the satisfying sensation of actually eating carbs. The other accoutrements were severely lacking, however: stale pita toasts and thick, gummy yogurt raita."
Day Boat Scallops : "Their natural sweetness was enhanced by the bed of pureed squash underneath, offset by the bracing healthfulness of beet greens. Though I can’t be sure, I detected a note of actual butter on their pan-seared exterior… [But] a straight male on a date here would probably throw himself towards the life preservers of the large burgers circulating around the room, which I looked after longingly as they headed to other tables."
Beet Root Chocoalte Cake : "begs the question: is it really necessary to put pureed beet root in chocolate cake? Though certainly sweet, the cake had as much beet taste as it did chocolate, two tastes that do not go great together. This is the Jessica Seinfeld school of cooking, like sneaking spinach into a milkshake. And like the toddlers that are her intended target, I resented it."

What did you like?
"Rest assured, the “fat” in name is merely playful, so you can still wear your skinny jeans here."

What did you dislike?
"… as everyone knows, there is no fashion without pain. Just as you must endure the pinch of stilettos through a whole night of posh parties, you must suffer through the virtue of fastidious plates of vegetables to arrive at the farm-to-table freshness of the Fat Radish."

What was your last impression?
"As the plates of carrots land at tables of models, just make sure you always order the fattiest thing on the menu – skinny jeans be damned."

Would you come back?
? ? ?

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, and have a good night!

 

 

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