PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
WTF? No really though, this has got to be one of the oddest layouts for a restaurant I’ve ever seen. Way to break all the standard rules! (The hostess that’s supposed to greet you upon arrival is hiding somewhere way off in the corner… behind you, e.g.)
Please rate the Bar:
Uh, is this a bar? It seems more like a domestic-kitchen "island" outfitted with liquor. Gotta admit— you’ve seen homes that try to incorporate a professional commercial kitchen (for die-hard foodies), but I bet you’ve never seen it done the other way around before, ha ha aha!
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
I guess the drinks are still a work-in-progress, since as of now they only have one kind of vodka, for example. (Then again, it doesn’t seem like much else is going to fit behind that "bar.") They don’t have much in the wine department yet either— but if you opt for wine, you may just want to spring for a full bottle.
See, sometimes the problem with these newfangled trendy stem-less wine glasses, is that the bartender maybe thinks he’s pouring a cognac or something. I mean like for instance, our wine-by-the-glass was poured woefully short (just above where the outward curve of the glass starts to angle inward again) but ten minutes later I looked over at the table across the way, and somehow they got healthy "full" by-the-glass pours (above the "halfway" mark).
I’m just sayin’.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s small, but kind of cute I suppose. But again— by commercial dining room standards, it’s pretty nonsensical.
Please rate the BOH:
Lots of potential, but… (see: "How was the food?" below)
How was the staff?
They try hard, but they clearly need to work on their system or something. Also, the total lack of buspersons/backwaiters becomes sort of a glaring oversight when it starts to seem like nobody knows what the hell is going on.
Additionally, they’ve evidently been trained to utter the most bizarre food descriptions when delivering the dishes: "…with walnuts to add flavor" (get out) and "…fennel to aid digestion" (thanks, Doc). If that’s they way they really want to go on this, then they probably need to employ just a little levity to make it sound less pretentious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Shrimp Ceviche : Good. Fresh. Sweeter than your traditional ceviche, but not cloying or overwhelming.
Goat chees, Crab, and Mushroom/Truffle Pizzette : Very good! Especially since: who ever thought crab and goat cheese would go so well together? The crust is fantastic too. Flaky and light, like phyllo. Delicious.
Foie gras with rasberry compote : Fine, tasty.
Ribeye with Fennel : Excellent. Tender, juicy, perfectly cooked— and although the fennel is quite dominant, it complements the steak really well. Impressive.
Pop Rock Oysters : Ohhh, god no! What is this mess? Oh right, it’s fucking Pop Rocks. Yes, the stupid candy from your youth that you’d happily thought had been banished forever. It’s on your raw oysters. Gah! Uggh, the nasty artificially-sweet chemical after-taste of those things stay on your tongue far longer than any funky raw oyster ever could. I repeat: WTF?!
But hey, you know, maybe it’s just me. If you’re one of those freaks who actually enjoy the taste of St. Joseph’s aspirin (mixed with raw oyster), go for it. According to the oddball description, it’s "to add a crackle on the tongue." (‘Cos yeah, that’s juuust what I want a raw oyster to do in my mouth.)
What did you like?
That pizzette was pretty great.
What did you dislike?
Take a wild guess.
What was your last impression?
Oh look, it’s Zaha Hadid.
Would you come back?
It’s not exactly in my ‘hood…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks and best of luck to you.
Tags: F&F REVIEWS, HOTELS, TRIBECA
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