PX This.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

Restaurant i @ The Charles Hotel

What was your first impression?
Uh, there were so many things at once, I don’t even know where to begin. But okay, my very very first impression was: What is this? But in a good way, I think.

Please rate the Bar:
Wellll… let’s just say I’d have done it differently. Otherwise we’d be here all day, and then I’d have to invoice it.
The bartender is amicable and proficient enough though, I suppose. But he really needs to re-think his technique or something. Look, with 15+ years of bartending under my own belt, I ‘get it,’ I’m neither naive nor anal. Sure, there was many a night I stuck my hand in the jar of olives or fingered the limes and lemons. But the very germane difference was I never did it front of the customer. Or if I did, it was too damned dark in the club (or you were too damned drunk) to see anything anyways. Plus, the DOH wasn’t as pervasive and stringent back then. This was also long before patrons even realized you could contract Hepatitis-A from a bartender (and my mama taught me to always wash my hands after a visit to the loo).
So, alls I can say is: thank your lucky stars I paid you a visit first, and get a fucking set of tongs, can you? (In the meantime, I’ll keep doing my best to strengthen my immune system and pray my personal hypothesis that strong alcohol kills cooties indeed holds true.)

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
It’s a hotel, and it shows. The drink list is typical (one look at the "calls" mentioned in the house-cocktail recipes gives a pretty good indication of the anticipated clientele), but relatively well-priced at $12 each. Decent beer list, and the wine-by-the-bottle selections are of the "safe" variety. I think you get the picture.

Please rate the Dining Room:
Not bad. Especially if you like rainbows.
Spacious and comfortable, but maybe a tad austere. Let’s just cross our fingers the kaleidoscopic color scheme works better for you than it did for Duvet, shall we?

Please rate the BOH:
Better than I expected. Particularly since the totally flavorless fried noodle "amuse" (paired with ketchup, of all things) didn’t exactly portend much promise.

How was the staff?
Overall, eh. Okay. But if you really want my honest opinion, the four owners or investors (or whatever they are) with the palpable overbearing presence— I think they’re just making everybody way too nervous or something. All the aura and fungshooey up in this muhfuh is just screaming for mercy, christ almighty.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Aforementioned Fried Noodle "Amuse" / Bar Snack : Bleah. Okay, free tip here, bitches: SHRIMP CHIPS. Come on, with all this psychedelic color in here, why not colorful shrimp chips instead? How fun. And unique. And better tasting than these shits.
Butternut Squash / Coconut Milk Soup : Mm, not great. Way too sweet, and I knooow me some yummy coconut soup, honey (Kittichai, Double Crown, Republic, in that order). Also, kinda watery.
Short Rib Steamed Bun : Good! But where’s the spicy? This is more like pickled cabbage than "typical" kimchee. So either stop being so scared and wishy-washy or I dunno, stop calling it kimchee maybe.
Seared Salmon and Tuna Salad : Very good. Great presentation. Tasty, fresh, light— delicious. Too bad the tuna being so refrigerated is kinda killing the flavor a bit (yeah yeah, the DOH, I know).
Lamb Burger with Feta and Yogurt Sauce : Outstanding. Succulent, juicy, and beautiful. But I mean, how come so determined with the burger temperature (nobody offered me an option, i.e.) but so gutless with the kimchee? It’s kinda confusing.

What did you like?
The burger was my favorite.

What did you dislike?
Uhh… the idea of people persistently pouring vast amounts of money into venues that make no fucking sense? But ya know, that’s just me.

What was your last impression?
Ha ha ahaa. Well, I really was kinda very tempted to offer the four poor antsy dudes some help on my way out, but the honest straightforward approach never works. Everybody wants to learn the hard way.

Would you come back?
Siiigh…

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you and best of luck.

3 Responses to “F&F: Restaurant i @ The Charles Hotel”

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