PX This.

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !

The Crosby Bar

What was your first impression?
Cute! Very colorful.

Please rate the Bar:
Very clean and unusually spacious. Neat, professional bar staff. Kind of cumbersome that they have to lean over the terminal to take orders and/or serve, and the drinks are expensive.

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Very extensive fresh-ingredient cocktail list, but the wine by the glass options are a joke. $20 for a Belvedere on the rocks, and you don’t even get decent olives. Sorry, but at these prices, it ain’t no Rose Bar.

Please rate the Dining Room:
Appealing at first glance, but then you start to notice the little things — like the wallpaper. Also, it’s inelegant having to walk through the dining room to access the bar. There are a couple of tables very awkwardly located, and it’s difficult to even determine where the bar area starts and the dining room ends. The trite but overpriced menu is completely at odds with the quirky decor and the stiff, austere, pompously uniformed staff. It feels like a corporate hotel.

Please rate the BOH:
Even though I was starving, the menu was completely unappealing and the prices were formidable enough to have me yearning to go elsewhere. Obviously, it’s not their fault, but the thoroughly unimaginative ‘hotel fare’ won’t be inspiring visits from many locals. This is purely ‘room service’ shlock meant strictly for weary travelers. I’m not quite sure why I even came here in the first place.

How was the staff?
Fine enough in that very corporate hotel union kind of way. Detached, standoffish, but adequately efficient.

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Duck Spring Rolls (Bar Menu) : Pretty awful. And at $8, a total travesty. The bartender asked if I’d like "two orders, because they’re kind of small," and he wasn’t kidding. I have no idea why it’s even called Spring Rolls plural, because it’s really just one medium-sized spring roll sliced into three bite-sized pieces. Cold, bland, flavorless and dry. I would eat my shoes before I order another dish here, especially at these prices.

What did you like?
The glass ‘chandelier’ balls hanging from the ceiling, the cow painting over the bar and the antique telephones arranged on the wall. The glassware is nice, and the bar seats are comfortable.

What did you dislike?
The spring roll, the tiny cheap olives in my vodka and the utterly pretentious prices.

What was your last impression?
I can’t believe my friend told me this is a good place. He probably likes it just because it’s English.

Would you come back?
If ever I needed a quiet, comfortable convenient place to meet for business over coffee/tea, maybe.

Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you and good night.

4 Responses to “F&F: The Crosby Bar”

Leave a Reply