PX This.

So! This is What Happened to Mason Reese

believe it or not, every once in a while some anonymous commentator on the interwebs actually says something nice about me. "Old Man" was one of those people.
after a few messages lobbed back and forth here and there between us in cyberspace, i discovered "Old Man" actually has a real name, it’s: mason-reese.

anyways, to make an interminable story long, i accidentally doublebooked my lunch(es) yesterday— one at 1PM and the other at 3:30PM. i scheduled the 1:00 at CentroVinoteca with my friend, tracey. the 3:30 was at BarPitti, to meet mason-reese in real live flesh and blood person for the very first time.
since tracey and i were having so much fun at our 1:00, i didn’t want it to end so abruptly so i asked her to join me for a stroll to BarPitti. and so she assented.

we get to BarPitti a few minutes early, so we decide to have a seat on the benches out front. suddenly tracey blurts out "hey, that guy looks just like mason reese!" i look over to where she’s pointing and i respond: "no, that’s richie-akiva."
she answers: "well, he looks like mason reese."
i say: "wait, what did you say? the guy i’m meeting is named mason reese!"
and the dude to whom richie-akiva is speaking immediately turns his head. lo and behold, it is indeed the person i recognize from my facebook friendships, mason-reese.
tracey asks: "you’re here to meet mason reese?! why didn’t you say so?!"

ha ha ha ha hahahahahahaa. the whole scenario was pretty bizarro. at the time. i guess you had to be there.

so dig this
it turns out mason-reese is this hugely famous actor from like the 70’s! i only know this cuz the way tracey was babbling away about her favorite childhood teevee shows and commercials and whatnot, you could have sworn it was like fucking lee-majors or some shit sitting across the table from her.

oh and it was so much fun, mason-reese had great stories!
like there was the one about how brett-ratner made a short film about mason-reese for his NYU graduation project called "Whatever Happened to Mason Reese?"
evidently this movie won some awards or whatever and even scored funding from steven-spielberg for brett-ratner’s film short. wow what a small planetoid.
then tracey had a notsogreat story about brett-ratner being a big creepie and sticking his hand down her shirt back when she used to work at Nell’s. oh but hahahaaa tracey got to bitchslap brett-ratner in the face, so there is that.

and there were other random fun tidbits too, like how mark-baker used to wear pink spandex leggings to busboy at ummm CafeParadiso (was it? i forget now) or someplace.
and how mason-reese used to own the famous NowBar (where apparently richie-akiva was once a promoter).

i felt really badly cuz i couldn’t remember any of the commercials tracey was talking about even though i totally should have, being such a teevee junkie myself back when i was just a wee tot.
so today i googled all the mason-reese commercials, and holy crap. i soooo recall that RaisinBran one, i musta seen that thing like a bazillion times.

anyhoo
mason-reese owns Paladar restaurant on ludlow street and Destination Bar and Grille (where all the bloggers go and get drunk in the middle of the day) on Ave A.

and so
to answer that decades old burning question—

that’s what happened to mason-reese, bitches.

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