Jennifer Aniston will BURY YOU, bitch.

September 21st, 2009 by The House


• Urban Daddy does all you losers a favor by letting you know how you can finally get into theJane. Then the comments section of Down by the Hipster reminds you all again why it is exactly you are such a fucking bunch of losers. -Vanilla Ice


• Speaking of reminders, Joshua David Stein grabs another opportunity to exhibit how he is such a knowledgable and insidery genius, and that Abbe Diaz is just a "batshit crazy, angry, petty" person— by graciously informing you pretty much the exact same shit Abbe Diaz already told you. -Vanilla Ice


Jennifer Aniston reports on Conan O’Brien that she wants to possibly maybe open a Mexican restaurant— because "usually a great night is had in a Mexican restaurant, no?" And also: "New York City needs a great [Mexican restaurant]."
OH SNAP! Ya hear that, La Esquina? All that hospitality you’ve been showing Jennifer (we’ve spotted her there with our very own eyes on two separate occasions, both times with John Mayer. And we hear she’s "there all the time") is only going to end up with her biting yer stilo and stealing your patrons, à la Graydon Carter and Ron Perelman.
So much for gratitude! -Vanilla Ice


• SPOTTED: Last week at BarPitti, all dining on the same evening— Tony Shafrazi (business), Carmen Kass (pleasure), and Mena Suvari (business/pleasure ?). Look out for the paparazzi pics of Mena Suvari somewhere (she was properly attired and bespackled for them) since the photogs were plentiful and relentless. (Carmen Kass they completely missed, however.)


• SPOTTED: Nightlife impresario Richie Akiva celebrating his birthday over Saturday (September 19th) brunch at Cercle Rouge— with three super-tall babes and one beefy bruiser in tow. And his little dog too.
Nobody sang for him (aww, booo!). And kudos to him for being the only at the table not too hungover and/or stoned to have to hide behind big bugeyed beblackened spectacles.
As they were departing after their meal, one model reprimanded Richie Akiva like his mom, "The waiter just said ‘Happy Birthday’ to you!" And Akiva retorted, "I said, ‘thank you’!"
Yes, he certainly did, and quite sweetly, too. So there.



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4 Responses to “Jennifer Aniston will BURY YOU, bitch.”

  1. wankers Says:

    all the coverage on the blogs completely ruined jane. back in the old day the places would be open and cool for months before the wankers would find out and come and trash it. it’s impossible to keep out the trash esp when the door people are stupid youngsters. all of nightlife sucks now because of this.

  2. Suggestion Says:

    Have you seen this

    Isn’t there some way the residents can petition the city to block off Jane St. and reroute the traffic to the highway? The cabs would have room to line up on 12th and the customers would just have to walk a few more steps to the door from the corner. Then all they would need are bouncers to cordon off the front and push the crowd to the highway. Problem solved at least somewhat.

  3. whatevs Says:

    boom boom is the nu spot n e way. trust.

  4. Inkslinger Says:


    So it seems! :D

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