Oi! So, you think you know what’s what, what? Well, let yer ol’ chum Mark Baker tell you the bloody score, chap. This nightlife business isn’t all jolly good fun ‘n games, innit. This is serious bloody business; you’d be positively knackered and gobsmacked if you’d ever seen some of thing ‘e’s been through. Bloody bollocks, some of it! So, sit yer arse down and ‘ave a lesson. Or bugger off, slag!
Pip pip, cheerio and all that rot.
*See also (earlier):
• Mark Baker’s wedding to Vicky Andren
• PX This presents: The Travel Series
** And, for even more on Mark Baker, read PX This – The Revised Edition (and PX This Too – Coming Soon in the Summer of 2010)
Rumors swirling within the industry have Chef Akthar Nawab slated to take over the kitchen at a very popular downtown Mexican eatery. Which begs the question, "what about Zengo?" True, Zengo’s early populace reviews on the internet and word-of-mouth have been mixed at best, but even the most insightful, jaded veterans of the industry are raising their eyebrows over a move that practically takes transience to a whole new level. And let’s never mind the head scratching over why this particular downtown "classic" Mexican eatery (which remains one of the hottest spots in town despite its persistent lack of a boldface-worthy chef) would court a media darling like Nawab in the first place. Some insiders speculate its plans to expand by opening its first offshoot in Miami (ambitiously but tentatively scheduled for the next Art Basel) may have something to do with its new foodieblog-gratifying outlook, but others insist Nawab’s superficial popularity has little or nothing to do with this latest (alleged) development, noting, "he’s just a downtown dude… ya know… with friends in the restaurant." And still others feel fit to surmise the Miami location’s impending opening is still very much on precarious footing anyway, as potential investors continue to engage in the ol’ Subsidizers’ Shuffle.
[But, on a semi-related note: this famous Mexican restaurant is said to be aggressively advancing on its goal to establish a new Jamaican counterpart.]
Whatever? We’re just sayin’.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Salman Rushdie hearts PX This – The Revised Edition by abbe diaz
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
oh, here we go. another one of these…
Please rate the Bar:
okay. small, but comfortable. nice enough. and the bartender is sweet— poor child, in that hideous awful uniform.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
ugh i’d already started my evening elsewhere so i completely forgot to look to the wine list. sorry! but one of my guests this evening is a wine aficionado, and she opted for glass of wine, so the offerings can’t be all bad. there’s a pretty sparse selection of liquor though— the bartender did say they’re "working on" the inventory and was kind enough to make note of my request for don-julio blanco. but they did have chopin, so— somebody’s thinking.
also: SoHo prices. of course.
but yet: stoli bev naps. whatever, kids.
Please rate the Dining Room:
it’s okay but personally i think the front dining area is sightly nicer than the back. i would have done it differently, but hey— to each his own. actually i thought it was better than the photo i’d already seen, but my wine snob buddy commented something along the lines of: "was some of this shit here already [in its prior incarnation]? cuz i can’t imagine anyone would throw this look together on purpose." oh snap.
i didn’t think it was that bad— on the contrary, i can well imagine someone did throw this look together very much on purpose (and probably got paid for it too). but i mean, really— i’ve seen worse. (i kinda like the "chandeliers"!)
really bad acoustics, however.
Please rate the BOH:
pretty good. seriously, better than i expected— especially from one of these joints. yesss, Beba is so totally jumping face forward into the whole tired assed nightclub posing as restaurant trend. you just have to take one look at all the lovely staff ladies in those hideous awful uniforms to know this— Hooters® by marc-jacobs (or some shit).
so, i feel a little bad for the poor, sure to be underappreciated BOH. but maybe they’re making such great salaries in the club business they really couldn’t care less.
How was the staff?
sweet. lovely. very pretty. and friendly. those poor girls in those hideous awful fucking uniforms.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
i just tried a bunch of the smaller things cuz, like i said, i wasn’t expecting the food to be that good. there was the "selection of spreads," calamari salad, salmon and tuna tartar, keftedes (meatballs), and grilled sausages. and it was all quite good. a bit fancy (there’s the whole bit with the ice cream scoop presentation for the hummus and taramosalata etc, e.g.) but certainly not cloyingly so. and really very tasty. clean, quality execution. a great twist on greek classics, made with an undoubtedly accomplished, artful hand.
but who cares, right? i know i know, you’re a little too busy right now ogling the Hooters® by marc-jacobs.
What did you like?
the food was really a very pleasant surprise.
What did you dislike?
did i mention how i feel for those poor lovely ladies? i’d rather work for lois-freedman than don one of those atrocious things. and you knooow i mean that shit literally.
What was your last impression?
well, it was sweet of fellow diner matt-levine to say "nice meeting you!"— but uhh, we didn’t actually meet. duh.
Would you come back?
bar, drinks, nibbles— sure, i think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
thank you, and best of luck to you.
Rarely has a restaurant-themed movie been as hilarious, moving and sagacious as Spain’s Fuera de Carta aka Chef’s Special. Watch it for the uproarious laughs— and to behold one of the most gorgeous commercial kitchens you’ve ever seen in your life! But, keep watching it to appreciate what happens to Xantarella, the movie’s Michelin-star-obsessed chic and sophisticated eatery, as protagonist "Maxi" strives to live happily ever after.
Brava, Fuera de Carta! As quoted from PX This – The Revised Edition: "You know your shit…" (Oh, wouldn’t it be nice if everyone did?)
It’s Friday, let’s dance! In keeping with New York Magazine‘s upcoming article on the legendary Limelight and its impending transition into a shopping mall— PX This urges you to: WORRRK.
(If Madonna calls, I’m at "Boom Boom.")
Quintessa 2004 – Bordeaux blend – Napa Valley, California
Cost: $250/bottle restaurant retail or app. $125 store retail
A bit of a splurge on the Quintessa 2004, a wine made predominantly of cabernet sauvignon, but with dollops of other red varietals. Nose of liquid Snickers, and mocha-java coffee that lingers above the blackberries and blueberries, with mild oak, anise spice, and just a touch of underbrush. The wine was carefully decanted to allow maximum air and it was worth it. In the mouth, so creamy smooth, decadent and alive, powerful lush dark berries with chocolate ganache. This is a voluptuous wine, and perhaps the finest Quintessa I have ever been privileged to enjoy. I will look for this wine, and lock down a couple of bottles to relive the moment. It’s just that good.
Rating: 97
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Flashy!
Please rate the Bar:
Nice. Small, but comfortable. Clean. And the bartender is friendly and enthusiastic.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
OK. Nice selections by the glass, but not exactly eclectic. Slightly expensive. Ditto on the cocktails— fine, but hardly imaginative or creative.
Please rate the Dining Room:
A bit austere and ordinary. Very corporate, very Trump (read: ugly). And nonsensical. No knowledgeable restaurateur would ever build an HVAC system like this.
Please rate the BOH:
Sigh. I have a feeling we’re not in Miami anymore, Toto. So, yeah. Like that.
How was the staff?
Very good. Amiable, proficient, conscientious (especially the hotel doorman). Warm and welcoming and perfectly adept.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
I had the Parmigiana di Melanzane, the Arancino di Riso and the Ravioli di Casa— and it made me glad I didn’t order any more (as I’d initially intended). Aside from taking 40 minutes for my first course to reach me, it was all keenly pretentious yet thoroughly pedestrian. To put it in the blunt words of my guest, "Did it take this long for the food to come out because it was defrosting?" Need I say more, because I’d rather not waste the energy. Thank you.
What did you like?
The hotel lobby is rather nice, actually.
What did you dislike?
The food.
What was your last impression?
Why do skyscrapers still insist on slapping "Trump" on the facade as if it’s a good thing?
Would you come back?
Sorry, I don’t think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks and good luck to you. Believe me, you’re gonna need it.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Cute. Industrial.
Please rate the Bar:
Capacious, if not exactly comfortable. Fine. The bartenders aren’t exactly the warmest bunch, but they’re knowledgeable and proficient.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Cocktails are N/A. The wine list OK— decent and somewhat eclectic, but I did rather expect a bit more diversity from a wine bar. Prices are reasonable but skewed more toward the higher end. Some fine choices though; the quality is there.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Easy, imaginative. The bar-height seating gets the point across well.
Please rate the BOH:
Satisfactory; maybe a C+ or B-. Simple and hearty, if not particularly creative— an every day spot. Nice neighborhood concept.
How was the staff?
Fine. Perfectly adept, but not especially amiable.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Fried Mozzarella Balls : OK. Tasty enough, but not extraordinary. Piping hot.
Fried Pork Patties "Special" : Eh. Pretty trite. Like Weaver® frozen breaded-nuggets trite. Weak.
Dandelion Salad : Fine, but again, very rustic. Hard-boiled egg is just blah; an over-easy one would have been better.
Reuben Sandwich : Pretty good. It’s no 2nd Ave Deli, but maybe that’s not what you’re looking for anyway? Small, but flavorful. Dainty, almost.
Bone Marrow Bruschetta : Delicious. Personally, I would have preferred a deconstructed presentation, but I get the feeling this place was built to please the ladies (and/or the Hipsters and the Emo’s).
What did you like?
The nonchalance.
What did you dislike?
The fried pork-patty ‘silver dollars.’
What was your last impression?
That was easy.
Would you come back?
It’s something of a haul, but maybe.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks and have a good night.
**SQUEEEEEEEE!**
eat that, bitches!
:)
i just had to screen capture that, in case he actually reads my book and then— aha ha haa ah argh augh uggh sob!— changes his mind.
but for now: yay! yay! yippee! hooray!
FREE E-BOOKS FOR EVERYBODY!
xoxo
p.s. if you would like to join the esteemed ranks of Salman Rushdie (and Fabio Trabocchi! booooya.) and be my "fan"— or even my lamp, or even my chair or whatever
please "fan" "like" me here —> http://www.facebook.com/pages/PX-This-by-abbe-diaz/40291641324
THANK YOU ♥
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Yeah, it’s big all right.
Please rate the Bar:
Nice, spacious, commodious, clean, comfortable. And the bartenders are friendly and adept.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Ugh, sorry— OK, there’s two types of restaurants I always never think to look at the wine list… and one of them is Indian. Ooops. Anyway, the cocktail list is creative, lots of fresh ingredients here. And used well— the lychee daiquiri (with pureed lychees) is delicious; refreshing and not too sweet. A bit on the expensive side, but I suppose that’s to be expected on the new "power asian restaurant row" (Tamarind, Nobu, Mr. Chow).
Please rate the Dining Room:
Large. Slick, somewhat "corporate"— not my style, personally. But, not bad– probably quite appealing to discerning Indian bankers and ballers.
Please rate the BOH:
Uh, needs work. It seems as though the "power asian" mentality has greatly influenced the menu, but I guess— who can blame them? Clearly, both Nobu and Mr. Chow have succeeded tremendously in expensive asian "fusion." Tamarind, however, still blatantly needs to get in their own groove.
How was the staff?
Very good. Warm, amiable, knowledgeable, proficient, and conscientious. Not one missed step (quite the contrary, actually) by anyone.
What did you eat?/ How was the food? Well, I can’t recall the official Indian names so pardon my descriptions—
Duck wrapped in crepe-something? : which turned out to be more like a big duck spring roll. Trite presentation— and execution not so good either. Rather bland and wholly unexciting.
Spinach with broccoli rabe and corn : Sounds pretty weird, right? I though so too, so I was intrigued enough to order it.
Oh boy. It turns out it’s corn "balls"— no really— drowning in some kind of spinach/rabe puree? Or is the rabe supposed to be in my balls? I have no idea. In any case, not so appetizing. Flavorless— and yeah: weird.
Lamb simmered in some stuff with "masala curry" : It’s difficult, based on the menu descriptions, to distinguish one lamb dish from the others. So I just picked one. This one is not as spicy as the waitress suggested, and the lamb is overcooked. So maybe I should have chosen another instead.
Garlic nan : Excellent. Flavorful, aromatic, supple with just a very slight crispness on the surface. Delicious. (See? Why mess with the classics?)
What did you like?
The waitress was incredibly sweet and went above and beyond… (long story).
What did you dislike?
The food can be vastly improved upon.
What was your last impression?
Make it work, Tanto. (Oh, lighten up.)
Would you come back?
As is— for a drink, yes. But, if they can make the food better, I’d gladly give it another shot.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, and best of luck.
the shit i go through – #001
"see this retarded shit i have to go through? going places i don’t want and being forced to meet peoples just to prove i am real…" – abbe diaz, PX This, page 216.
MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010. yah so here is today’s shit. beefin with kevin-smith‘s fanatics ha ha haa ahaa i am not even kidding. looong story, don’t even get me started.
but if you did read (or intend to read) PX This, it goes a little something like umm piglets —> ben-affleck —> kevin-smith —> beefin with fanatics.
don’t worry, it’s covered more fully in PX Me- The Sequel to PX This (coming soon in the Spring of 2011) and believe it or not, if you have no idea what i’m talking about right now, it’s not nearly all as mumbly jumbly in the end as it sounds. i think.
anyways if you’re bored and you need a giggle, here is an example of some of the shit i go through:
(click here) —> http://viewaskew.com/theboard/viewtopic.php?p=4310778#4310778
i’m just sayin. bitches
:)
If you’re as fabulous as you think you are, then this little cutie pie needs no introduction.
Her father, however, may need a baseball bat in just a few more years.
:)
***Featuring Belinda Becker and Willow Becker – with special thanks to LaRon Batchelor for shustir.com
SHALL WE PLAY A GAME ?
In honor of the just-released e-book (and the soon-to-be-released print version) of PX This – The Revised Edition and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This, let’s see if you’re knowledgeable enough to play Where Are They Now?
Winners will receive a FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition and an affectionate pat on the ass. Answers will be displayed at the bottom of this page (hey, no peeking!). If your answers are ‘close enough,’ click here to collect your e-book prize immediately! Yay! Just kidding about the pat on the ass, sorry.
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to correctly identify the current whereabouts of some of the ‘characters’ in PX This. As always, should any member of the F&B force be caught or killed, pee ex this dot com will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This web page will not self-destruct, but shall remain in the cosmos internets from now until the end of the world. Good luck.
Where Are They Now?
• eric-goode and sean-macpherson
• brian-mcnally
• "emil the maiterdee"
• "kamil the maiterdee"
• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*
• Ferret
• "philippe the GM"
• "johnny the floor manager"
• marc-bagutta
• maxwell
• "laurent the GM"
• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee"
• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll
• Loser
[Scroll down for the answers.]
• eric-goode and sean-macpherson:
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where they are? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! Eric Goode is also loving on the turtles (go, Eric!) and Sean MacPherson is… around. No really, he’s everywhere. Check over your left shoulder; he might be there right now.
• brian-mcnally:
Uggh. Let’s not start this again, shall we?
• "emil the maiterdee":
Evidently, looking at The Fedora with Graydon Carter.
• "kamil the maiterdee":
Evidently, getting media attention just for falling down. Go, boy.
• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*:
The future Senator Affleck is out saving babies and the world, thank you very much. What the hell are you doing with your life, creep?
• Ferret:
Oh, "Ferret." "Ferret" finally gets a ‘real’ name in the upcoming PX This Too. You’ll be happy to hear that abbe and "Ferret" have… umm… kissed and made up. Hooray!
Actually, we really have no idea what "Ferret" is up to these days, since his awesome, adorable boss just got promoted to Superstar Banker of Deutsche Bank / Tyra Banks Yummy Man Candy. When you bump into "Ferret" out and about (and you will), just ask him yourself.
• "philippe the GM":
We love you, Philippe! That is all.
• "johnny the floor manager":
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where he is? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! We haven’t seen him lately though, because we can’t get past the doorman. Seriously.
• marc-bagutta:
Here. No further comment… until PX This Too of course.
:)
• maxwell:
Come on now.
• "laurent the GM":
After a brief stint as the GM on restaurant-based reality television show
Rocco’s, and then opening a restaurant of his own, Laurent can be found these days in a lovely place like this.
• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee":
Oh, just here.
• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll:
Rilly? Does anybody actually give a shit? We find that very hard to believe.
• Loser:
Ha ha ha ha wooo child. No further comment— what fun would that be? But, thanks for the new fans, homeslice! Godd bless the googles.
So, did you win, did you win?! Good for you, you smart little cookie, you. Get it, girl.
Former “Maitre d’ to the Stars” to Release Second Book
Here’s a "blind item" for you:
Which restaurateurs are none too pleased with the impending release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This? Worse yet, the timely upcoming launch of PX This – The Revised Edition just happens to coincide with the recent openings of two high-profile Manhattan restaurants. Anonymous e-mails sent to this website seem to indicate some ‘characters’ are indeed up to their old shenanigans. Some things never change!
But some things do change! For the better, even. Like for example: PX This – The Revised Edition! Now with enhanced content and photos!
And to celebrate the forthcoming launch of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This coming in the Summer of 2011 Spring of 2012, the e-book version of PX This – The Revised Edition is FREE! [Print version coming soon!]
This is a limited time offer— so get your FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition for your iPad / Kindle2+ / netbook etc NOW! Hooray!
:)
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
It’s busy!
Please rate the Bar:
Cute. Small, but comfortable enough, considering. And the bartender is friendly and adept.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Ugh, sorry— I never to think to look at a wine list in a Mexican restaurant; I always forget. The cocktail list is typical, lots of margaritas in various incarnations. Decent selection of beer, and prices reasonable overall.
But don’t let ‘em fool ya— the "Happy Hour" margarita ‘special’ is decidedly less impressive than its full-price compadre. To quote the little lady sitting at the table behind me, "I’ve had four of these and they’re doing nothing for me!" (She did, however, almost stumble and fall down right after that, so— maybe keep that in mind.)
Nice spicy Bloody Mary.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Small and simple, but charming. An astute use of the spare square footage. Warm and welcoming, a great neighborhood joint.
Please rate the BOH:
Good. A healthy mix of the authentic classics, plus a few of the gringo favorites— something for everybody. And, tableside guacamole– hooray! olé!
Good timing, ingenuous presentation, proficient execution. Not particularly inventive, but— so what. Here, have another margarita.
How was the staff?
Very good. Warm, hospitable, casual yet deft. Our waiter was especially endearing— even though he was "probably drunk" (his words). Just kidding.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Guacamole Spicy : Excellent. Hellooo, other Mexican joints? This is how you make guacamole. I mean, ya know— it’s not rocket science, come on now.
Ceviche "Special" : OK. Different; more shrimp than fish. Flavorful, though. And the shrimp (although small) is fresh and well-prepared.
Elotes : Delicious. Fire-grilled. Tender, juicy, yummy. Yes, aioli— but not slathered with it, thank goodness.
Quesadilla "Mexican Style" – Spicy Pork : Good. Tasty. Love the ‘deconstructed’ presentation.
Taquitos – Beef : For the die-hard gringo in me. Nice. Better than Taco Bell! Is that side of mole sauce for me or the quesadilla? Whatever, it’s delightful.
What did you like?
The guacamole was my favorite.
What did you dislike?
The table was really small.
What was your last impression?
Aww, good for them!
Would you come back?
Yes.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, and have a good night.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of lucks[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
i Tre Merli (SoHo) – The Remix
What was your first impression?
My very first impression? It looks great!
My very next impression? It looks… OK.
Please rate the Bar:
Much smaller than before, about half the size actually. Also, I’ve never quite been a fan of bars you have to traverse the dining room to reach, but that could just be a personal preference.
The bartender is friendly enough, if not particularly attentive— warm and enthusiastic, though.
Overall, I’d say it could use a little tightening here and there, especially for a bar that’s very newly built.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The wine list is brief and mediocre. To put it bluntly, it’s a lot like SoHo— so maybe it’s fine. Ditto the cocktails list— mostly classics, not exactly inventive. And kind of pricey…
Please rate the Dining Room:
Cozier than previously; the restaurant is now flanked by large banquettes running up the entire length of the dining room. Still has that late-80′s/early-90′s vibe in a way— well, maybe it’s retro. Still somewhat austere and not exactly inviting.
Please rate the BOH:
Much has changed on the menu; it’s now "italian version of tapas" oriented. And slightly expensive. In a nutshell, I’d say the food needs work— whether the food is their primary focus remains to be seen.
How was the staff?
Fine. At ease, comfortable— likely veterans of i Tre Merli’s former incarnation. Adept and proficient if not remarkably amiable.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Tuna Crudo : Odd. Overcooked (yes, it’s supposed to be crudo) and covered in cream sauce (that’s not even flavorful).
Langoustine Crudo : Very overcooked. And then re-refrigerated to almost the point of frozenness. Plus, call me crazy, but I’d swear this is shrimp. Not good.
Sauteed Mushrooms : Tasty, but extremely oily. And a very small portion for $10.
"Special" Piccante Sausage Pizza : OK. Again, very oily. But not very piccante. The crust doesn’t exhibit any benefits of the wood-burning oven. Can’t quite hold its own against the enormous competition out there.
What did you like?
Reminiscing about the golden years of i Tre Merli, SoHo.
What did you dislike?
That it still isn’t living up to my memory of it.
What was your last impression?
Ah, the good ol’ days…
Would you come back?
That would depend on a lot of things… I’m keeping my eye on it for now.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, and best of luck.
= "personne extraordinaire"