yah so
by now, yalls have heard all about how poor eric-goode couldn’t get home from europe cuz the big stupid volcano in iceland wouldn’t let him. well, did you even stop to think about all the forlorn europeans and scandinavians and whatnot stranded here for the very same reason? no. no, of course you didn’t.
imagine, say— you were stranded at THOR for days and days on end with absolutely no knowledge of how long it would be before you’re able to return home. and so you went out one night and got drunk and passed out on a new friend’s living room sofa. and then somebody stole your pants, but you didn’t discover it until you awoke the next morning? and thus you had to walk through the strange, crowded, unfamiliar streets of NYC all the way back to THOR without your pants?
wouldn’t you looove if it were all captured on video so you could relive this awesome experience time and time and time again? sure you would— i thought so!
and so, without further ado, PX This presents: The New York Blues with Markus Keller and Marc Swoboda
or ya know— you can also check out professional "snow rider" Marc Swoboda (for Nitro®, Volcom®, Red Bull®, and Nike®) in action—
and/or former Olympian Markus Keller— with his pants.
nyeeah. take that, Page Six.
**See also (earlier):
• Homegirl Meets Coolest Dude Ever
• Euro Gap
• SPOTTED:
***With very special thanks to Kummi "Bunny" Kim
What is this "dialogue" of which you speak?
Sure, he probably didn’t exactly mean to address the F&B industry when he used the phrase "dialogue of the deaf," but Sir Salman Rushdie has a message for you anyway.
(Or, y’know— apply it to the world too, if you must.)
"Writers are very obstinate creatures, and they don’t respond well to being to told to shut up, they tend to speak more loudly when told to shut up… we can rely on [them] to resist that intimidation…" – Sir Salman Rushdie, BBC World News
*See also (earlier): OMG SALMAN RUSHDIE IS MY "FAN"
Oi! So, you think you know what’s what, what? Well, let yer ol’ chum Mark Baker tell you the bloody score, chap. This nightlife business isn’t all jolly good fun ‘n games, innit. This is serious bloody business; you’d be positively knackered and gobsmacked if you’d ever seen some of thing ‘e’s been through. Bloody bollocks, some of it! So, sit yer arse down and ‘ave a lesson. Or bugger off, slag!
Pip pip, cheerio and all that rot.
*See also (earlier):
• Mark Baker’s wedding to Vicky Andren
• PX This presents: The Travel Series
** And, for even more on Mark Baker, read PX This – The Revised Edition (and PX This Too – Coming Soon in the Summer of 2010)
**SQUEEEEEEEE!**
eat that, bitches!
:)
i just had to screen capture that, in case he actually reads my book and then— aha ha haa ah argh augh uggh sob!— changes his mind.
but for now: yay! yay! yippee! hooray!
FREE E-BOOKS FOR EVERYBODY!
xoxo
p.s. if you would like to join the esteemed ranks of Salman Rushdie (and Fabio Trabocchi! booooya.) and be my "fan"— or even my lamp, or even my chair or whatever
please "fan" "like" me here —> http://www.facebook.com/pages/PX-This-by-abbe-diaz/40291641324
THANK YOU ♥
the shit i go through – #001
"see this retarded shit i have to go through? going places i don’t want and being forced to meet peoples just to prove i am real…" – abbe diaz, PX This, page 216.
MONDAY, APRIL 19, 2010. yah so here is today’s shit. beefin with kevin-smith‘s fanatics ha ha haa ahaa i am not even kidding. looong story, don’t even get me started.
but if you did read (or intend to read) PX This, it goes a little something like umm piglets —> ben-affleck —> kevin-smith —> beefin with fanatics.
don’t worry, it’s covered more fully in PX Me- The Sequel to PX This (coming soon in the Spring of 2011) and believe it or not, if you have no idea what i’m talking about right now, it’s not nearly all as mumbly jumbly in the end as it sounds. i think.
anyways if you’re bored and you need a giggle, here is an example of some of the shit i go through:
(click here) —> http://viewaskew.com/theboard/viewtopic.php?p=4310778#4310778
i’m just sayin. bitches
:)
SHALL WE PLAY A GAME ?
In honor of the just-released e-book (and the soon-to-be-released print version) of PX This – The Revised Edition and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This, let’s see if you’re knowledgeable enough to play Where Are They Now?
Winners will receive a FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition and an affectionate pat on the ass. Answers will be displayed at the bottom of this page (hey, no peeking!). If your answers are ‘close enough,’ click here to collect your e-book prize immediately! Yay! Just kidding about the pat on the ass, sorry.
Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to correctly identify the current whereabouts of some of the ‘characters’ in PX This. As always, should any member of the F&B force be caught or killed, pee ex this dot com will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This web page will not self-destruct, but shall remain in the cosmos internets from now until the end of the world. Good luck.
Where Are They Now?
• eric-goode and sean-macpherson
• brian-mcnally
• "emil the maiterdee"
• "kamil the maiterdee"
• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*
• Ferret
• "philippe the GM"
• "johnny the floor manager"
• marc-bagutta
• maxwell
• "laurent the GM"
• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee"
• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll
• Loser
[Scroll down for the answers.]
• eric-goode and sean-macpherson:
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where they are? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! Eric Goode is also loving on the turtles (go, Eric!) and Sean MacPherson is… around. No really, he’s everywhere. Check over your left shoulder; he might be there right now.
• brian-mcnally:
Uggh. Let’s not start this again, shall we?
• "emil the maiterdee":
Evidently, looking at The Fedora with Graydon Carter.
• "kamil the maiterdee":
Evidently, getting media attention just for falling down. Go, boy.
• ben-affleck aka the *mackdaddy*:
The future Senator Affleck is out saving babies and the world, thank you very much. What the hell are you doing with your life, creep?
• Ferret:
Oh, "Ferret." "Ferret" finally gets a ‘real’ name in the upcoming PX This Too. You’ll be happy to hear that abbe and "Ferret" have… umm… kissed and made up. Hooray!
Actually, we really have no idea what "Ferret" is up to these days, since his awesome, adorable boss just got promoted to Superstar Banker of Deutsche Bank / Tyra Banks Yummy Man Candy. When you bump into "Ferret" out and about (and you will), just ask him yourself.
• "philippe the GM":
We love you, Philippe! That is all.
• "johnny the floor manager":
Well like, duh, who doesn’t know where he is? Only in like the hottttest restaurant in the wooorld! We haven’t seen him lately though, because we can’t get past the doorman. Seriously.
• marc-bagutta:
Here. No further comment… until PX This Too of course.
:)
• maxwell:
Come on now.
• "laurent the GM":
After a brief stint as the GM on restaurant-based reality television show
Rocco’s, and then opening a restaurant of his own, Laurent can be found these days in a lovely place like this.
• "alina the Balthazar maiterdee":
Oh, just here.
• gwyneth-paltrow aka gwyneth-paltroll:
Rilly? Does anybody actually give a shit? We find that very hard to believe.
• Loser:
Ha ha ha ha wooo child. No further comment— what fun would that be? But, thanks for the new fans, homeslice! Godd bless the googles.
So, did you win, did you win?! Good for you, you smart little cookie, you. Get it, girl.
Former “Maitre d’ to the Stars” to Release Second Book
Here’s a "blind item" for you:
Which restaurateurs are none too pleased with the impending release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This? Worse yet, the timely upcoming launch of PX This – The Revised Edition just happens to coincide with the recent openings of two high-profile Manhattan restaurants. Anonymous e-mails sent to this website seem to indicate some ‘characters’ are indeed up to their old shenanigans. Some things never change!
But some things do change! For the better, even. Like for example: PX This – The Revised Edition! Now with enhanced content and photos!
And to celebrate the forthcoming launch of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This coming in the Summer of 2011 Spring of 2012, the e-book version of PX This – The Revised Edition is FREE! [Print version coming soon!]
This is a limited time offer— so get your FREE e-version of PX This – The Revised Edition for your iPad / Kindle2+ / netbook etc NOW! Hooray!
:)
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
"i can’t believe that bitch gets more press than i, by maybe-being-me" —abbe diaz, 8/24/07
Well! Hey, Abbe— you wish, Miss Thing! Looks like Ms. Butler has some lessons for you in the art of Media Hype & Hoopla Hustling.
"…the notorious Gwen Butler, after an incident that occurred after service Wednesday night. ‘She assaulted me,’ Skeen tells us. We’ve heard the chef was punched in the face…"
Wow! That’s hott. No wait— that’s better than hott. Hell, that’s gansta.
Anywho, just wanted to say, "Hi, Snax!" Lookin’ good, mami. Mrreeoowwr!
Thanks for making the food blogs fun again! We haven’t read anything this LOL inducing since… well… this.
Luv ya!
Your adoring fans at PX This.
*** See our latest UPDATE on Gwen Butler ***
**See also (earlier):
• SYMPATHY 4 THE RESTAURANT INDUSTRY
• Chef Roman à Clef: "I’m not Abbe"
• Is our mystery roman à clef writer Boston’s $2.45 Million Dollar Bartender?
• "I’ll punch somebody if it gets me in Page Six. Just kidding…"
• "Think of it – you would be so badass…"
** For more on this story, read PX Me – The Sequel to PX This – Coming in the Spring of 2011 **
Coming to Madison Square Garden – June 25, 2010
Aack! Reserve your PX Package today!
:)
**See also (earlier): "…HOW DID I FORGET U KNOW MAXWELL…?!!!"
We’ve always been leery of the boring, idiotic world of Josh Ozersky (and the numerous incarnations of his online bullshit), but a video segment from The Soup was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Ozersky— a "clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophant[ic]" blogger— was in fact pilloried by No Reservations (and subsequently, The Soup), a cringe-inducing event publicized by Ozersky’s food blogger peers and former colleagues. (All of Ozersky’s blog entries read like interminable clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophantic pontifications tapped out by the jittery, chubby fingers of a man who can’t wait to get his hands on his next donut-bacon-cheeseburger). We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you’re a trite, pathetic, snooze-inducing dweebshit, don’t go on national television.
** See also:
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
*********************************************
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
"eew, that’s gabriel-snyder" [UPDATE]
Right now, most of you are likely asking, "Who the hell is Gabriel Snyder?" Well, let me remind you!
Gabriel Snyder is the former managing editor of a website called Gawker. As you may or may not realize, PX This has a long, long, sordid history with Gawker. Well, to make a lengthy story short: Our founder, Abbe Diaz, was once a fan of Gawker. She was an early advertiser with them, a longtime avid, insightful "commenter" and even the subject of several of Gawker’s blog posts. Then one day, Gabriel Snyder effectively censored Abbe Diaz’s opinion by "banning" her without just cause or valid explanation, in a manner contrary and hypocritical to Gawker’s ostensible comment/discussion system.
This just in: Gabriel Snyder has been replaced as managing editor of Gawker.
I know what you’re thinking – "That’s so amazing, Dick Johnson! You’re so awesome!" [Thank you!]
But, you’re also thinking, "Really, though, who gives a shit about that dweeb? We actually don’t really care."
Yes, I know, I see your point. But, there is another point I wanted to make:
See the "[UPDATE]" in the title of this post up top?
Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
For more on this story, please read PX Me – Coming soon in the Spring of 2012
Here is Adam Wiercinski aka Adam Jamroz. He was employed as a part-time delivery person for over 20 years at Mangia corporation, where he recently attempted to defraud the company by twice filing fallacious lawsuits. The strategy for his attempted multi-million dollar extortion Read more…
Gottino’s Michael Bull is in Litigation with Partner/Chef Jody Williams
Members and/or followers of theForum @PX This might well recall chef Jody Williams’s long, convoluted history. Almost a year ago, speculation arose that things might not be all that verdant in Denmark. Much more recent rumors have been swirling that Michael Bull has indeed filed a lawsuit against Jody Williams, alleging (among other things) she may have illicitly misapproriated up to “$95,000.00 of company money.”
A source familiar with the story quotes Michael Bull as having stated, “The gloves are off and the fight is on… I will close [Gottino] down if I have to.” Some former employers of Williams have also been pre-informed they may be subject to court deposition. Williams might best hope Keith McNally is not one of them, as he recently remarked in an interview with Restaurant Girl that he “did not enjoy working with her.”
Williams was the opening chef for McNally’s first foray in Italian cuisine. She left Gusto Ristorante (located several blocks form Morandi) amid a flurry of unsubstantiated gossip in the Spring of 2007. She was fired from Morandi in the Spring of 2008.
Gusto proprietor Sasha Muniak, when asked to comment on the lawsuit, replies, “… I did briefly discuss it with Keith… I know how [Bull and McNally] feel… I guess [Williams's leaving] was a blessing all along.”
**********************************************************
For more information on Jody Williams, read PX This Too (the Sequel to PX This) – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
= "personne extraordinaire"