NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or “Dumb”)
When we last visited the subject of Josh Ozersky, he was deservedly being ridiculed on national television. Well, it would appear his latest shameless attempt at self-aggrandizement has backfired as well. Some people never learn.
Ozersky, known in and amongst the industry as a "clueless, over-bloated, publicist-indentured sycophant" and "notorious freeloader," apparently penned a "self-centered and egomaniacal" editorial for Time magazine about his own recent wedding, wherein he "extolled the virtues of using restaurant chefs instead of caterers," "prais[ed] the food to the skies," and then failed to disclose all the goods and services he received for said wedding were completely gratis.
For all you non-Latin-speaking folks at home, that means Josh Ozersky engaged in a blatant breach of journalistic integrity.
LOL!
I know, I know, you’re arching your brow right now and wondering, "Sooo— where’s the newsflash, Dick? I may not speak Latin, but this here folk at home knows allll about this tool already. Isn’t this what PX This has been saying all along? I mean like, duh!"
Hey, I was being sarcastic in that title up there, OK? Plus, there is another point I wanted to make:
See all this pertinent new information in here I wanted to add to a previous story?
Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
** See also:
• “NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb”
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
THE HOSTESS DIARIES CONSPIRACY
Started: May 27, 2008. 12:47 PM by (Forum Administrator) *jo* • Closed: June 22, 2010 11:56PM • Archived at 15,935 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : New York Times article "My Year at a Hotspot" by Coco Henson Scales, July 11, 2004
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former gawker.com Managing Editor Choire Sicha, Former New York Times food critic Frank Bruni, Former Hue hostess Coco Henson Scales (and friend, William Diggs)
GIST OF TOPIC : Did Choire Sicha and/or Coco Scales (along with Frank Bruni) "conspire" to misappropriate the subject matter in PX This for their own glorification and/or personal gain?
SIGNIFICANCE: In June of 2004, Abbe Diaz purchases a short-running advertising spot within gawker.com to help publicize her book, PX This (Diary of the "Maitre d’ to the Stars"). Within several weeks of that advertisement, the aforementioned article in question, “My Year at a Hotspot,” appears in The New York Times, ostensibly written by former (prominent PX This "character" Karim Amatullah‘s) Hue hostess, Coco Henson Scales.
Gawker Editor Choire Sicha declares the article the "best celebrity venality exposé ever!" and goes on to exhort, "if Gawker had a required reading syllabus, it would consist entirely of this article." He then further exalts the article by declaring Coco Scales "The People’s Hero" on his personal blog as well, choiresicha.com (now semi-defunct).
Within hours, "fans" of PX This ("anywhere from 15 to 35 people") send e-mails to Sicha drawing attention to Diaz’s book, with at least one pointing out Diaz’s status as a former Gawker advertiser. Diaz herself forwards a mention of her book in the Daily News to Sicha. Sicha responds via e-mail to Diaz (and at least one "enthusiast") but, despite referring to himself as a “big fan,” fails to publicly acknowledge the existence of Diaz’s book in any way.
It is later discovered the climax of Scales’s riveting narrative is completely fictional.
Upon speculation as to how a fictional essay (by a previously unknown/unpublished writer) could possibly appear in the New York Times as a non-fictional feature in the first place, it is discovered Choire Sicha "dated Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni for a few months."
Scales has written nothing since.
RATING: ★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
* * * * *
*Pictured (from boston.com): Choire Sicha, Former Gawker blogger, Emily Gould
** See also:
• GAWKER.COM
• Gawker Loses "Ignorasshole"
• Nick Denton vs Leigh Haber
• Freelance Writer Wanted (for investigative piece on The Hostess Diaries Conspiracy)
For more on this subject, read PX Me – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Spring of 2012
GREATEST HITS: theForum@px.this
PX This hereby presents The Forum’s Greatest Hits, a thread-by-thread archive of the most fascinating discussions from "theForum@px.this" — our online F&B oriented community IP.Board (founded in 2007) made virtually obsolete by the re-launch of theBlahg, pxthis.com, on August 31, 2009.
[theForum@px.this will be fully and permanently dismantled upon the definitive completion of its archive.]
Started: Nov 21 2007, 01:58 PM by *what’s anorexia?* • Closed: February 17, 2010 12:10PM • Archived at 44,539 Views
PRIMARY SUBJECT : Former gawker.com blogger Joshua David Stein aka "the ignorasshole"
ADJUNCT SUBJECTS : Former gawker.com blogger Emily Gould. Gawker owner/publisher Nick Denton. Former NY Post journalist and gawker.com blogger Ian Spiegelman. Former Gawker managing editor Gabriel Snyder. Former Grubstreet blogger Josh Ozersky. Brian Grazer.
GIST OF TOPIC : Joshua David Stein is an ignorant asshole. Also, a hypocrite. And apparently, a bit of a horntoad who slept with his co-worker. Lots of links and quotes and whatnot provided. Some jabs at gawker.com too, because "they suck" in general.
And then everyone at Gawker who was ever a jerkface suddenly quits or gets fired. Riveting.
SIGNIFICANCE: Abbe Diaz and Joshua David Stein have serious beef from way back (Sept 2007). The guy is a tool; this thread pretty much proves it.
Also, *abbe* randomly drops a comment in a Gawker item, and houses owner Nick Denton’s ass. Fun times.
Gawker bans Abbe Diaz from commenting at Gawker [weak sauce!] because they’re immensely intimidated by her. Twice.
RATING: ★★★★
WHAT THE STARS MEAN: Ratings range from zero to five stars and reflect the discussion’s entertainment value, from amusing to hilarious, with edification taken into consideration. Hyperlinks contained within are subject to change.
The archives of theForum@px.this have been edited for the sake of clarity, brevity, and squeakiness. [If you require an original unedited copy of the discussion, please e-mail px.this@gmail.com]
***********************************************
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
The Devil Eats Jerk Pork. NOT.
The latest captivating chatter in and amongst the industry has Anna Wintour rumored to have already slapped Serge Becker‘s latest not-yet-open downtown "café" with a preliminary smackdown. As you may recall, one of Becker’s other establishments, La Esquina, was recently unjustly obstructed from doing business for three days, and some speculation seems to place an irate neighbor at the core of that unwarranted temporary shutdown. Unfortunately for said neighbor, La Esquina was quickly found to be "in compliance with New York City building codes," and the Department of Buildings is said to have "scrambled" to rescind their erroneous judgement after an attorney and judges from as far away as Washington DC were consulted (presumably to help expedite the matter faster and more efficiently than New York’s frustratingly backlogged bureaucracy) on the arguably distorted assessment of celebrity-haven La Esquina’s "imminent… peril… to life."
Well!
Here we go again? The recent salacious out-and-about tittle-tattle has Anna Wintour allegedly warning Serge Becker to refrain from throwing "parties" at his new currently-under-construction exotic eatery, located (perilously?) close to Ms. Wintour’s abode.
LOL! Silly Anna. Every night’s… ♪♪ a holiday at Huuurleeey’s! ♪♪ [Quick: name that movie.]
In any case, Serge Becker & Co. might best hope a set of new $10,000.00 soundproof windows can propitiate Ms. Wintour. But frankly, we can’t help but suggest they get down on their knees and pray she doesn’t decide to implement a strategy that could conceivably be classified a "C*ntyNasty," whereby she would perhaps exert her powerful influence to contribute to the restaurant’s undoing, only to open her very own ‘hotspot’ hash house located conveniently close to her residence.
Does Anna Wintour have 311 on speed dial? Would downtown NYC be better served by a more subdued bistro, with a menu based entirely on supermodel-satiating lettuce leaves and water, than a "café" offering up callaloo and whatnot? Stay tuned!
Ahh, so starts the wintour of our discontent…
*************************************************************
For more details on Graydon Carter and the strategic implementation of “the C*ntyNasty” read PX This – The Revised Edition and PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Coming Soon in the Spring of 2012)
** See our latest UPDATE on Serge Becker’s newest enterprise **
We’ve always been leery of the boring, idiotic world of Josh Ozersky (and the numerous incarnations of his online bullshit), but a video segment from The Soup was difficult to resist. As you might expect, Ozersky— a "clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophant[ic]" blogger— was in fact pilloried by No Reservations (and subsequently, The Soup), a cringe-inducing event publicized by Ozersky’s food blogger peers and former colleagues. (All of Ozersky’s blog entries read like interminable clueless, overbloated, publicist-indentured, sycophantic pontifications tapped out by the jittery, chubby fingers of a man who can’t wait to get his hands on his next donut-bacon-cheeseburger). We include it here entirely for purposes of education: Remember, if you’re a trite, pathetic, snooze-inducing dweebshit, don’t go on national television.
** See also:
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical (and/or "Dumb")
• “…had Josh Ozersky not made such a glaring jackass of his ignorant self prior….”
*********************************************
For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autumn of 2010
Underground parties land cool new Nolita club Kenmare in hot water [the Daily News]
"New A-list hot spot Kenmare wound up in hot water after State Liquor Authority officials read about underground parties there in the gossip pages, the Daily News has learned… But that’s not how the owners of Kenmare portrayed the spot to the State Liquor Authority when it was granted a liquor license in early February… ‘We are paying close attention to them,’ said SLA Deputy Chief Executive Officer Michael Jones. ‘They are supposed to be operating as a restaurant.’ …Kenmare could face penalties as severe as losing its liquor license."
Huh. Is that right?
Well, hmm— what was that you said again, Gawker? Something about our original breaking coverage on the transformation of the former Civetta being "not true," right after you misquoted us and incorrectly paraphrased our bulletin?
Oh but wait, we do admit perhaps we were somewhat remiss when we later mused, "…what does ‘the new Beatrice’ even mean?" and subsequently suggested you were "narrow-minded, short-sighted… ignorant" and "asinine" for creating such a nonsensical description of Kenmare née Civetta in the first place.
I guess we should apologize. We kinda totally ‘get it’ now.
Gee, it looks like Kenmare may very well be "the new Beatrice" after all.
**See also (earlier):
• Civetta Closing – "New Concept" to Come
"eew, that’s gabriel-snyder" [UPDATE]
Right now, most of you are likely asking, "Who the hell is Gabriel Snyder?" Well, let me remind you!
Gabriel Snyder is the former managing editor of a website called Gawker. As you may or may not realize, PX This has a long, long, sordid history with Gawker. Well, to make a lengthy story short: Our founder, Abbe Diaz, was once a fan of Gawker. She was an early advertiser with them, a longtime avid, insightful "commenter" and even the subject of several of Gawker’s blog posts. Then one day, Gabriel Snyder effectively censored Abbe Diaz’s opinion by "banning" her without just cause or valid explanation, in a manner contrary and hypocritical to Gawker’s ostensible comment/discussion system.
This just in: Gabriel Snyder has been replaced as managing editor of Gawker.
I know what you’re thinking – "That’s so amazing, Dick Johnson! You’re so awesome!" [Thank you!]
But, you’re also thinking, "Really, though, who gives a shit about that dweeb? We actually don’t really care."
Yes, I know, I see your point. But, there is another point I wanted to make:
See the "[UPDATE]" in the title of this post up top?
Well, that’s how you do an update, you fucking scumbags.
For more on this story, please read PX Me – Coming soon in the Spring of 2012
Lately, it has come to our attention that the link to the original “Good Night, Mr. Lewis” story on Abbe Diaz is permanently defunct, possibly due to Steve Lewis’s defection last year from Joonbug to BlackBook magazine. Due to popular demand, we hereby re-create the entire article but, for the sake of clarity, verity and comprehension, have taken the liberty of editing those portions in which the original was remiss (a copy of the article in its original un-edited state is currently hosted here).
Abbe Diaz: Talk Loudly And Carry A Big Stick…Too (Part Three)
Over the past two days I’ve spoken with Abbe Diaz (see part one and part two). Continue after the jump for the third and final part of my conversation with Abbe.
Steve Lewis: Did you miss me?
Abbe Diaz: Of course, I miss you everyday. Well not anymore, cuz now I can read all about you. That Down by the Hipster thing was so funny.
SL: Did you see what I wrote.
AD: I did.
SL: No, you didn’t, you saw what he made me write. I’m a mellow guy now. Josh was right, I took the high road. It did make me laugh. My girl teased me about it.
AD: Oh, you have it light. If you had any clue what people say about me, to me, at me.
SL: So you were talking about what people say about you. Tell me why anybody would attack you?
AD: Good fucking question.
OK, honestly I know the answer; it’s just a snowball thing.
SL: You attacked the powers that be. If you attack someone in his castle he will throw stones down upon you forever.
AD: Maybe.
SL: OK, you tell me, why? Why are you being attacked?
AD: I sort of narrowed it down to episodes here and there. They do snowball. It’s very small communities, these writer— blogger— shitheads.
JoonBug: People like Gawker and Eater.
AD: What happens is one of them says something bullshittish and I’m supposed to be like "Whatever." But, I’m not— I’m like, "Fuck you."
SL: Eater is this big website; Ben Leventhal is the guy’s name.
AD: Giant Ass. Apparently from what I gather there are a couple of partners. One guy is cool, he’s totally cool, but the other one, what is his problem?
SL: Good Cop, Bad Cop?
AD: No, he’s just an ass.
SL: What I meant was sometimes in business one guy’s really nice and one guy’s a real asshole, and the good guy can always say, "Hey, I’d love to do it, but my partner won’t." That’s good cop, bad cop. Maybe Ben is the bad cop in their relationship.
AD: Mmm… you know it’s kind of a misunderstanding, but not really a misunderstanding. I launched the forum on like March 14th, and the following day there was some stuff about some restaurant. It just so happened that that chef of that restaurant wants to come to the industry forum— and that’s what it’s there for— and vent, you know, about some shit. So that’s fine, vent— but it just so happened that she was venting about the man I’m dating. Check that shit out, isn’t that crazy? That’s like cosmic freakiness. So she goes and she spouts blah blah blah. Now just picture it, someone comes on your blog to your little comment section and says nasty things about your girlfriend. Wouldn’t you be upset?
SL: Not me, ‘cause I know my girl. She’s 5’11” and she will knock the motherfucker out.
AD: But he won’t knock someone out, that’s the problem, he’s a lover not a fighter… Then of course this whole thing gets blown up all out of proportion and it gets found out that that chef is friends with Ben Leventhal…
…What he does [with Eater] now, I don’t agree with… what we do is different, I don’t have ads on my site, I’m not a business, I am a "blog" in the purest sense. I don’t make any money on it, so if I use my blog as my voice then hey, that’s what it’s there for. But, he uses this supposedly objective website for his own personal agenda, and to me there’s just something not quite right about that. Or if you are going to do that at least have the balls to put it right out there and sign your name to it.
SL: I’m going to disagree with you. I say a blog is your personal agenda.
AD: OK, some. In yours, in mine.
SL: I’m saying, just because they’re making money at it doesn’t mean that they can’t have a personal agenda too.
AD: OK, that’s fine. Then be honest about it. Say, look, this is my problem, I don’t like you cuz such and such said this about so and so, and that person’s my friend.
SL: But, that’s your job, because you’re the one who exposes these things. Down By The Hipster, they’re the ones who are exposing these things. Guys like me, I don’t really expose too much, I try not to gossip. You can do it, you can bang back at him. Why don’t you bang back at him?
AD: Oh, I do. But that’s what so annoying— cuz it’s like he doesn’t just attack me, he attacks the people and the places and the events around me, which is not right. You don’t go and fuck with innocent people’s shit just because you have a fucking problem… Watch, I’m going to take so much shit for this. I know it.
SL: Well do you want us to print this or not?
AD: Oh I don’t know. On the one hand I don’t care, on the other hand, I’m so tired of this nonsense.
SL: Let me tell you something about you. I think you’re hot, I think you’re a beautiful girl. But, the hottest thing about Abbe Diaz is she’s got balls and she’s got brains and she’s never going to take shit.
AD: Who would? If somebody gets all in your shit, who’s gonna be like, "Eh."
SL: Most of the world, Abbe. Most of the world takes shit from other people. You get out there and write a book, that’s why you’re controversial because you don’t take shit. The rest of the world takes shit. I don’t take shit too much, well much more than I used to…
AD: I don’t think people take shit, I just think that they’re not up front about not taking their shit. What’s it called? Passive aggressive.
SL: But you get in people’s faces.
AD: You know— look, if someone attacks you, you’re going to slap them back, right across the face. That’s the part that I don’t understand— cuz, like— me, I slap back and they go, "Oh my god, we totally started it, but can you believe she slapped us back?! She’s awful, what a bitch crazy nut job."
SL: Abbe, you are a fighter, and that’s why you’re relevant and that’s why I’m interviewing you today.
AD: But you watch, mark my words. You’ve been doing so well and who’s this kid, the one on Gawker that likes you so much, Hamilton Nolan.
SL: I don’t know.
AD: He’s fucking in love with you. And then I’ve seen you on Grub Street, Josh Ozersky, whatever, I guess he kinda likes you too. Guaranteed, mark my words, this interview will never hit either one of those blogs. This interview, no fucking way.
SL: Because they don’t like you so therefore you’re irrelevant, is that what you’re saying? Look, if you said something Ghandi-esque, or incredibly beautiful, earth shattering, you don’t think it would appear anywhere?
AD: Are you joking? Totally… Josh Stein, that jerk face, do you know who that is?
JoonBug: No.
AD: He used to write for Gawker, and now he does cameos covering that Top Chef thing. He said the most awful thing about me with a full on post with my picture and everything, and all of it was untrue. So, I turn around and I’m like you mother fucker, none of that is true. Even New York magazine’s Grub Street proved him wrong.
SL: So you got your point across using your blog and your side was told.
AD: Basically, I guess. But then, essentially as an answer to what he said, I pulled out this beautiful Gabriel Garcia Marquez quote— do you ever think it saw the light of day? They should have retracted or updated or something.
SL: Now what did you do?
AD: They accused me of being another anonymous blogger… It turns out we’re friendly now, because it was just such a hilarious thing. So they accused me of being her, and it was flat out proven that that blogger was not me. In fact, her story is ten times more interesting than mine, she’s like the "three million dollar bartender" from Boston, you know.
SL: What is a three million dollar bartender?
AD: She got a three million dollar tip to go open her own place.
SL: She must have made a great drink.
AD: Ha haa, I ain’t going there… She’s a friend of mine, sorry… So they accused me of being that blogger, because she was blogging some hilarious things about some people. So they were like, "there goes bashit crazy Abbe Diaz again…" But then when it comes out in the open that it’s not me, you think they would be like, "My bad, it wasn’t Abbe Diaz after all," wouldn’t you?
SL: It’s not like the papers, which is a slower medium, this blog stuff moves fast.
AD: All they would have to do, like they do with so many other stories, is update. An "update" is a very standard thing for bloggers to do.
SL: Well let’s update it right now. Oh, I guess we did we just did.
AD: Do you really think this is going to be on Gawker tomorrow? No way! This is my point, my simple point. Your question, "What if I were to say something beautiful?" — Well, this is a prime example, I did say something beautiful— I was using somebody else’s words, but I was so proud of myself on that rebuttal, I was patting myself on the back. Did anyone ever see it? On my blog, sure.
SL: Let me say something. Abbe you’re an incredible person. I sweat you. I think you’re the coolest. You are beautiful, dynamic, unbelievable, and I’m really glad my readers will get to know you.
AD: Thank you Steve Lewis. But, it’s all for naught. You’ll see.
…
I am a neophyte in this world of blogs. I did get my dander up a few times when something said about me seemed unfair. Maybe I haven’t gotten big enough here to be attacked as Abbe seems to be attacked. The blogosphere fascinates me. I come from a different place. You booked an act or party, you printed an invite, and you had all these kids standing on corners near clubs handing them out, and then that night you opened the doors, the people come, you had a party, and at the end of the night you counted the money. Rinse and repeat. There was a physical connect with the consumer through that flyer and there was time to think, as events were promoted at least a week in advance. Pauses could be taken for breaths, reflections, or even diversions. It’s so fast now. I write this, press the send button, and in an hour you read it. Text messaging redirects consumers from one club to another in the middle of the party. Cell phone calls and emails reach countless masses instantly. I get fifty invites a day to parties happening tonight, tomorrow or sometimes in an hour.
Silicon and plastic have created a distance between the club operator and the consumer. Even if you wanted to punch someone in the nose it would just be an image on MySpace or Facebook and the impact and satisfaction just wouldn’t be the same.
Good Night,
Mr. Lewis
Interview conducted and written by Steve Lewis.
Interview has been edited and condensed.
Talk Loudly and Carry a Big Stick
Lately, it has come to our attention that the link to the original “Good Night, Mr. Lewis” story on Abbe Diaz is permanently defunct, possibly due to Steve Lewis’s defection last year from Joonbug to BlackBook magazine. Due to popular demand, we hereby re-create the entire article but, for the sake of clarity, verity and comprehension, have taken the liberty of editing those portions in which the original was remiss (a copy of the article in its original un-edited state is currently hosted here).
Abbe Diaz: Talk Loudly And Carry A Big Stick…Too (Part One)
I’ve known Abbe Diaz forever. She used to bartend at a couple of clubs where I used to be a big wig. Most employees of clubs that are run well are hired because they are either great to look at or are blessed with an undeniable charisma. Some of them actually have skills relevant to the jobs for which they are hired.
In the present hiring climate most owners demand lots of experience as the stakes are higher and the need for service with a million dollar smile (and often a $20,000 boob job) is more important than how cool you are. Today it is far more common to have a professional bartender or waiter serving up the Goose. Most of these ‘servers’ call themselves actors or models or artists and some of them actually are, and many spend a lot of time convincing themselves that they will be all that they can be. A nearness to massive amounts of booze provides much comfort when their dreams seem so far away.
The clubs, bars, restaurants, and hotels often referred to as the hospitality or service industry have always provided income to future celebrities in many artistic fields. Whether that fame lasts fifteen minutes or a lifetime, the biz helps pay the rent as they study, go on castings, and network. Some even leave, have a career, and return in some form or another. Many invest and are the ‘owners’ of places that remind them of less complicated days. A look at the club Plumm’s cast of celebrity owners ensures a Page Six mention at least twice a month. I can’t ever remember hiring a professional server. With me it was always the starving actress, model, artist, or writer, and it often bothered me when one of them was still working for me years later, long past the time when they answered that very New York question "So what do you do?" with "Actor." They had become bartenders or managers or such, and it was kind of sad. For every Debbie Harry, Bruce Willis, Keith Haring, or Dustin Hoffman who has climbed out of the biz to stardom there are thousands of lesser successes.
The multi-talented Abbe Diaz has worn many hats in the service industry and she still wears them once in a while, when her art doesn’t feed her. When we worked together it was only a hey or a nod. Years later we connected as friends. She left a comment on one of my earliest posts and my editor Josh, who I assume toils away here on his way to the New York Times Best Seller List or something like that, ran up on me with a "Abbe Diaz commented!" He was all excited and I couldn’t imagine why. It seems my old employee/new friend is a bit of a controversial figure and I, embarrassingly, was unaware of her work. I guess I had spent so many years superficially nodding hellos that when I became friends with her I didn’t pay enough attention to the substance…in my girlfriend’s words, I was listening with my mouth again. I let Josh sit in on my interview with Abbe, and he even wore a clean shirt.
Steve Lewis: What’s funny about this, of all the people I’ve interviewed, I know you probably as well, or even better then all of them, but I don’t know anything about the stuff that we are talking about. Josh called me up once, ‘cause you must have made some sort of comment on one of my posts, and said, ‘Steve, Abbe Diaz said something about what you wrote!’ And I went, ‘Abbe Diaz, I know Abbe Diaz,’ and I found out at that moment that you had a blog.
Abbe Diaz: Even though I told him like three years ago.
SL: I didn’t listen to a word you said; I just checked you out and said, ‘Wow, she’s hot.’ And then of course I read on some other website, it might have even been your site, there was something about me, and you said, oh Steve Lewis sweats me, which is absolutely true for the record… Abbe worked with me a long time ago, you were a bartender at Limelight was it? Palladium?
AD: Yeah Limelight, and the Palladium. I moved over with Rickey.
SL: Rickey Mercado was the manager.
AD: Then I left for a little while and went to Miami for like four months, and then came back.
SL: I was still at Tunnel at that point. The funny thing about it is I never had bartenders working for us, in our organization, unless they were super hot. We thought the girls had to be hot, it was one of those things. But, I never looked at them twice. Then one day I was going to Brooklyn, at that time I must have been going to Peter Luger, because I don’t really go to Brooklyn for any other reason and I still don’t. Anyway, so I’m on my way to Luger’s, I’m stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and you went by on a motorcycle.
AD: That’s how I got hired, you know…
SL: How?
AD: Someone sent me over to Palladium, I was advised to talk to the people at Palladium if I wanted to work for Peter Gatien, so that’s where I went. You remember Damir? Anyway Damir is at the front, and he sends me to the office. So, I give them my résumé… no call of course, so I come back like a week later. I see Damir again, and I say something like "just give me the deal, what’s the best time to meet the guy who can hire me." Where, who, what, when…?
Then— I mean of course I’m smart enough to come while they’re still setting up for the evening, not smack in the middle of service— they were literally just setting up the horses and ropes up front. And so I ask— ya know— what’s the proper protocol? And he replies, "You know what you should do, you should go over to the Limelight, that’s where they all are." So OK, I decide I’m going to go to the Limelight. I ride my bike over, pull up right in front. And Mark Murray was at the door with a bunch of other ‘doorperson’ type people.
SL: And Tom.
AD: No, not Tom— but I knew Tom from before though, as a patron…
So anyway— Mark Murray. So I ask, "Hi, are you hiring?" And he asks, "For what position?" So I say, "Bartender." And he looks at me and tells me to give him a minute and goes inside. Then he comes back and tells me, "Why don’t you park that thing across the street and come on in." So I did, and I guess it was a big scene… they were all standing around gaping, and of course later I realize Mark Murray has a thing for motorcycles. Anyway, I walked in and I met Rickey right on the spot— nice guy— and we sat down and talked. A few minutes later I had the job.
SL: Did you work that night?
AD: No, I worked the next night. And apparently Tom Buckley remembered me from when I used to come into Limelight.
SL: Well you’re an unforgettable, striking girl. So you starting working there and little did you know what you were getting into.
AD: That was a crew, huh?
SL: It was. I was saying though, I never really looked at the staff, ‘cause it was always in my mindset that you never ever hit on the staff, it’s like a golden rule. And there I was in a cab going to Peter Luger and you pulled up next to me on your bike. You just paused right next to my cab and I looked out the window and my jaw dropped. I was like— man, is she hot. ‘Cause on that motorcycle Abbe, you are one of the hottest girls around. And you look amazing today, and I’ve known you for a long time…
So, we know each other back from Limelight days. You were always on the periphery, being that you were in a different position than I was. I was basically management there, running a joint that was really notorious. I would say it was one on the most fun places that ever was.
AD: Definitely, no doubt about it.
SL: Tunnel was good and then there were the others…
AD: … they opened for the "runoff," like when you open a restaurant across the street from your own restaurant.
SL: It was way before bottle service. People were mixing: gays, straights, everybody was mixing, Uptown, Downtown, it was a mad house. I say it was the time that the inmates ran the asylum. I used that the other day, because I think it’s true. It just happened it was an organic thing.
AD: I think that’s true. I don’t know why.
SL: I mean the fact now that you can’t even smoke in a nightclub, the vibe isn’t really right. I talked about that in a story we did the other day. The atmosphere has changed. We are a society that does not embrace change. We are a society that represents homogeneity. Is that right, homogeneous? We have an editor here with us. So, Josh, after he told me, "Abbe Diaz posted a comment on the blog," he explained to me you’re actually a person of respect.
AD: I am?!
SL: Josh is a fan. He was happy that you came in. He actually prepared questions for me because there are things that I don’t know about you. I kind of knew that you wrote a book, but I didn’t know that the book was so ‘out there.’ It’s ‘out there’ in a sense that you went above the powers that be, and told the truth— or a number of truths— that really went against the mainstream. You outed this huge organization, Jean Georges.
AD: A place, not necessarily Jean Georges. Jean Georges-esqe.
SL: Everyone knows it’s Jean Georges, isn’t that true? Abbe, for the record, is not admitting that it’s Jean Georges. She was talking about a fictional character, what was the name of your character?
AD: johnny-g.
SL: Johnny-G. That’s clever.
AD: Well, you know what it is— while I was writing it was a diary, it was my diary. I mean that’s what I do when I think of people, I give them nicknames. Like superhero nicknames.
SL: What’s my nickname?
AD: You’re Mister Fabulous (laughter)…
… so say you’re writing in your diary and you hate your boss so you don’t want to type your boss’s name and see it all the time in front of your face every day. Like that. So instead I used a nickname and that’s what it was…
SL: So how does it leap from being the most personal thing someone has, a diary, to being a book, exposing yourself?
AD: What happened was I was at a dinner with a bunch of people, a lot of mutual friends… and they happened to be talking about The Devil Wears Prada— oh isn’t that interesting or whatever. Then the conversation turned to restaurants, who owns what, who works where, and then to like Jean-Georges and other big restaurateurs etc etc, and I was like, "Oh, I worked for him… oh, I worked for him too… oh yeah, I also worked for him…"
SL: To my readers…She’s waving her hand like the most fabulous drag queen in the world.
AD: So basically someone was like you should write a book blah blah blah. That’s how it started. And I was thinking hmm ya know maybe I could bust something out— cuz I had just written a screenplay for Project Greenlight in like three weeks— so I figured I could bust out a book in five maybe. Then I realized it’s ridiculous… I was going through my diaries and I realized it’s all there, why change it? So then a friend with a friend in a publishing house… she and her friend looked at it, but they decided there were some things that just weren’t commercial enough. Like, I mean— they wanted me to bold the names— you know, like in Page Six. Then they didn’t like my writing style, with the lower case letters for example… and I did try to change it. I tried to make it grammatically correct and change it, but it had no flow and it was no fun. It came off pompous and pretentious.
SL: So I’m sitting here with Josh, and Josh is my editor I guess. He really lets me flow, he’s a good editor. If it weren’t for him, I’d be making a million mistakes…
Yesterday, somebody said something about me, and if I were the old Steve Lewis, what I would do when someone said something about me, I’d punch him in the nose. You’re laughing, but I was a maniac.
AD: I hear you.
SL: But, we took the higher road and it was absolutely the right decision. But, the old Steve Lewis and the old Abbe… but you’re still that way, aren’t you?
AD: I am, but I have to be. I got one fan over here, but oh my lord, everyone else? They are so fucking mean to me, geezus christ.
SL: Let’s get the record straight— what martial arts are you trained in? The Filipino one?
AD: Jeet Kun Do, the Bruce Lee one.
SL: One summer night I was at La Esquina and you explained to me, emphatically, how you could absolutely kick my ass.
AD: I’m kind of a little out of training.
SL: But you could still kick my ass.
AD: Maybe— I’m thinking I could.
SL: ‘Cause I do sweat Abbe, just for the record. I have visions of the Williamsburg Bridge and this Filipina on a motorcycle.
AD: Whatever, I’ve seen your girl, give me a break, she’s so cute.
SL: Thank you very much, she is cute.
AD: My friend is a manager at La Esquina and we were sitting at dinner, sorry I digress, and for some reason you just popped into my head, and I swear to you like ten seconds later my friend said, "Steve Lewis was in the other night." So I was all, "what made you say that?" She answered, "I don’t know. Because he came in the other night?" and I was like, "Oh my god, he just popped into my head." And then she said, "He was with his girlfriend, some beautiful blonde girl…"
SL: Can you believe I’m dating a blonde?
AD: No, I can’t.
SL: It’s so ridiculous. Abbe knows that I was known, well in one club I operated, I only hired Asian women. And I didn’t do it on purpose, the interviews came in, and it just worked out that way.
AD: It’s cuz we’re the best.
SL: So this is the first white women I’ve dated in almost 30 years. It’s pretty shocking to people who’ve known me a long time.
AD: She’s very cute.
SL: She’s a very cute girl.
AD: Kind of quiet.
SL: I told him (Josh) that you were quiet, by the way.
AD: I am quiet.
Good Night,
Mr. Lewis
Interview conducted and written by Steve Lewis.
Interview has been edited and condensed.
Check back on Wednesday and Thursday for the rest of my conversation with Abbe Diaz. We talk about her art, PX This, the local blogosphere, and much more.
See Part 2 and Part 3 of Steve Lewis’s interview with Abbe Diaz…
Dick Johnson: Knock knock.
abbe diaz: just get on with it.
DJ: LOL. Sorry! Just trying to lighten the mood… OK, so you saw the Crain’s article?
ad: yah
DJ: What, no rampage in the Crain’s comments section from "Crazypants"? Your fan club must be so disappointed.
ad: what is there to "rampage" about? did you read the article? i thought it was good. it’s nice to see a bit of true, impartial news for a change. there’s nothing for me to refute.
DJ: Eater dotcom commenters are calling for your rebuttal. Or at least, one comment says it’s "surprised" you haven’t denied it on PX This.
ad: yah, i saw it. whatever. i only deny what ISN’T TRUE, duh.
DJ: So, you’re not going to comment? Enquiring minds want to know…
ad: want to know what? nobody asked me any questions.
DJ: OK, fine. I’m asking you.
ad: and i really appreciate that, thanks. but i still don’t see a question.
DJ: What’s going on with Mangia 57th and Centro Vinoteca’s filing for Chapter 11?
ad: is that what i’m supposed to comment on? i’m not their publicist you know. and i have neither the inclination nor the authority to discuss their business with anyone.
are you asking me my personal opinion? because that’s a different story.
DJ: But, by your own admission, you do consult with them occasionally. Word on the internet is you get "highly paid" to do so, right?
ad: Mangia and Centro, obviously, as a company, have plenty of attorneys and advisors. my advice wasn’t sought on this matter, but if it had been, i would have said i wholeheartedly agree with their latest course of action. hypothetically speaking.
DJ: Yes! Let’s play "Hypothetically Speaking"! This should be fun.
ad: loads.
DJ: Hypothetically Speaking: Restaurant Enterprise-101
ad: probably more like RestaurantEnterprise:410, but whatever.
DJ: Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on a company like Mangia57th filing Chapter 11?
ad: ooh. really? what a nice question! hmm, well let’s see—
first of all, let’s assume it’s a company juuust like Mangia57. well, according to the Crain’s article, it would "[owe] creditors less than $10 million."
okay, well let’s say— if i were simply an objective observer and not just some dumb idiot creepface looking to gleefully tapdance on somebody’s grave, i would say that seems like an awful little amount to file over. under $10M total? (i actually very much like how the Crain’s article almost seems to be scratching its head over this one, as well.)
i mean, i would think this would be relatively easy to confirm, but i would assume a company like Mangia takes in about $1M per WEEK.
also— a debt of $335,000 to the landlord and (a disputable) $260,000 to the state? that’s less than $600,000.
i mean… for example, i know of another company juuust like Mangia, and last year their BANK FEES ALONE were about $600,000.
which! brings me to another point.
hey did you see how some of the banks have been rahrah’ing lately because they’re apparently about to pay back billions of dollars in bailout money collected from unsuspecting taxpayers? isn’t it amazing how they were able to raise all that profit so quickly?
oh wait— maybe not so amazing? cuz peoples all over the country are complaining about how their fees have skyrocketed and how the banks do creepy things like intentionally approve all your debit purchases and withdraw monthly fees at random intervals so that when you happen to spend over your available balance because you had no cash on you but you bought a pack of gum at the deli, now suddenly that gum costs you $35 in overdraft fees?
and dumbass that you are, you also went to Kinko’s for your boss and charged another $3.00 on your debit card for copies (expecting to be reimbursed), but now the transaction for those copies have just cost you ANOTHER $35 overdraft fee? so now you just spent $70 on $3 worth of copies and a pack of gum?
now— if last year those banks made that kind of money off the average broke-assed citizen, what exactly do you think is happening to big companies like Mangia?
i mean, imagine instead of say your monthly $15 checking fee they automatically debited (which you thought you still had in your account and that’s why you bought the pack of gum at the deli and charged the copies at Kinko’s in the first place)— that monthly fee was ohhh like $40,000.00?
do you see how that could occasionally be kinda problematic?
now let’s say you went to the bank and you waited on line and you finally got to sit and talk to one of those peoples in the little desk cubicle thingies—
and you said, "hey banker dude. i’ve been your banking customer for dozens of years now and we’ve never had a problem like this before. why do i owe you $70 for a pack of gum and $3 worth of copies from Kinko’s? if you hadn’t taken out that $15 monthly fee… what’s that? it’s $25 now? that’s outrageous!… well you didn’t tell me the price went up and that it would be withdrawn so randomly… how do you expect me to pay an additional $80 in fees for a pack of gum and Kinko’s copies?"
and the bank dude replied, "yesssss, thank you so much for your patronage over the years. suck it. we have bailout funds to pay back cuz president-obama won’t let us get our multimillion dollar bonuses."
hmm.
i don’t know bout you, but if i had another option (and lots of attorneys and advisors!), i’d be damned if i’m paying that $80. i’m just sayin.
that was fun! next question?
DJ: LOL. I’m glad you asked, because I do have another question. What about Centro Vinoteca filing Chapter 11? Oh sorry, I mean HYPOTHETICALLY, what about a company LIKE Centro Vinoteca filing Chapter 11?
ad: wow. another great question!
well, HYPOTHETICALLY, let me ask you this. how does one prove, exactly, you know something?
DJ: Beg pardon? You’re not making sense.
ad: yah exactly, thank you.
okay
how about— let’s just say… i lost… an umbrella, for example. and then i said to you, "hey dick-johnson. where’s my umbrella?"
and you reply, "i don’t know." and i say, "yes you do." and you say, "no, i don’t." and i rebut, "but i told you where i left it." and you retort, "no you didn’t, are you smoking crack or something?" and i respond, "yes i told you where it was." and you insist, "no, you did not." and i dispute, "yes i did. well, at least, i told willie-wang where i put the umbrella and i’m sure he told you." and you assert, "willie-wang didn’t tell me shit. i don’t know where your stupid umbrella is."
and so i tell you, "well, i’m sure i told willie-wang to tell you where the umbrella is and now i can’t find it, so now you have to buy me a new umbrella."
and you answer, "what? i never knew where your jackassed umbrella was. i never saw it, i never touched it, you never told me where you put it, and willie-wang never said anything to me about it. period end of story."
and i say, "well, i don’t care what you say, you’re still buying me a new umbrella."
so you ask, "i had nothing to do with you losing your umbrella. why should i buy you a new umbrella?"
and i respond: "cuz it was a really really fancy expensive umbrella and YOU are the only one who can afford it."
i wonder— would you buy me a new umbrella or would you tell me to go fuck myself?
DJ: Oh, I would definitely tell you to go fuck yourself.
ad: i thought so. next question?
DJ: So, are you saying Leah Cohen didn’t leave Centro Vinoteca because of cashflow problems?
ad: as far as i know, she’s on her way to southeast asia and she’ll be traveling for nine months. does that sound like somebody who wasn’t making money to you? better yet, why don’t you just ask her.
DJ: Is the Gusto Ristorante townhouse for sale? Can I buy it?
ad: i think the only way to answer that question is to MAKE AN OFFER ALREADY. be sure to bring along a certified check.
DJ: OK, one last question. Can I blog about the you-know-what now? Seeing as the cat’s… kind of out of the bag and all?
ad: frankly my dear i don’t give a shit.
MORE on Sevigny & Khan (& Civetta. Sort of.)
When we broke the story on Civetta’s closing, little did we realize it would become the *Nightlife Bloggers’ SAT on Reading Comprehension. Or maybe that’s more like the Jellus Bloggers’ SAT on Integrity and Pettiness? Whatever! We digress.
This just in from a tipster: "Did you see your old buddy Steve [Lewis]‘s column today? Funny how Nur [Khan] supposedly denies working with Paul [Sevigny]… from what I hear, they maybe are looking into a space in SoHo together, and Brad Zipper is their money guy… I don’t know how (or if) he fits into Civetta, though."
Another source adds: "…I have seen Brad [Zipper] at Civetta a couple times — he does live around the corner and is quite friendly with the staff… but I wouldn’t say that he’s involved in Civetta…"
And yet a third ‘insider’ speculates: "If I had to make a semi-educated guess, I’d say it could be possible there are two deals in the works? If the so-called SoHo space with Zipper is a go, it might still be a ways off… the Civetta thing would be a way for them to start up now, get their feet wet, then move along to the next project once that’s in the swing of things…"
*By the way, what does "the new Beatrice" even mean? As far as we know, The Beatrice Inn is CLOSED, indefinitely— just as we predicted (despite various uninformed opinions throughout the blogosphere contrary to our deduction). When Eric Goode & Co opened MK, did they call it "the new" Area? When Peter Gatien built Club USA, was it called "the new" Limelight? Hmm, perhaps they were— by those who were narrow-minded, shortsighted and ignorant.
The Beatrice Inn was the name of the space at 258 W 12th St, long before Matt Abramcyk and Paul Sevigny took over. For anyone to take that very same name and apply it to another location would, in short, be asinine.
Might we suggest pulling your head out of your navel for a change, and try some real erudition on for size. You might be amazed at what you can learn about reality and our industry if you just freed your hands from that circle jerk, and say (for example)— picked up a book every once in a while.
Here is Adam Wiercinski aka Adam Jamroz. He was employed as a part-time delivery person for over 20 years at Mangia corporation, where he recently attempted to defraud the company by twice filing fallacious lawsuits. The strategy for his attempted multi-million dollar extortion Read more…
HEY I DID TRY TO POST THIS RESPONSE AS A COMMENT DIRECTLY AT EATER BUT THEY HAVE A "CHARACTER CUTOFF" AND AFTER TYPING ALL THIS GODDAMNED RIGMAROLE I DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE TO GO BACK AND SHAVE OFF 403 OF MY CHARACTERS. AND I HATE SENDING E-MAILS CUZ I CAN’T STAND BEING PARAPHRASED.
SIGH.
Aww, I’m flattered, thank you. Technically however, I am not the official spokesperson for Centro Vinoteca, nor am I directly employed within the company. But, as I do consult for them on occasion, I guess I’ll just go ahead and explain as best I can, with the stipulation that none of it is to be construed as an official statement by the company.
1) As for Leah Cohen quitting, this was actually not considered a "problem" as much as a consequence of doing business. People leave. It happens. A chef leaving a restaurant is as much a "problem" as paying the rent and the electric bill.
2) I did tell Centro’s “PR person” she could address Gusto’s "on the market" speculation “off the record only” with Eater, because it was not deemed an important enough issue to warrant the possibility of attracting more attention to the stupid matter. In the exact words told to me, "Who cares? Nobody gives a shit anyway."
Well. As best I know, neither 60 nor 62 Greenwich Ave is "on the market" for sale. I must admit the explanation of the "mortgage holder’s risk assessment to gauge interest, value, and anticipated turnover time" sounds kinda weird to me, but maybe only cuz I never heard of it before.
Alls I can think is: If you REALLY think those buildings are for sale, then go ahead and make an offer and see what happens. Who knows? If you can come up with a really impressive non-refundable deposit fast enough, maybe you CAN buy those buildings after all!
3) As for the "shuttering" of Centro Vinoteca: Well, we did address this ridiculousness once before, with Gusto Ristorante. Here at —> http://pxthis.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=501
If you recall, Gusto was shut down by the DCA (for three days) for putting smoking tables out IN DECEMBER while the sidewalk permit was technically still in the PROCESS of being renewed, because apparently merely setting out TWO tables with TWO chairs (IN DECEMBER) constitutes "an intent to serve."
The DCA instructed Gusto it was NOT ALLOWED to post signage of any kind in explanation to the patrons.
BRILLIANT "punishment," no? No monetary fine imposed, just a slap on the wrist and a timeout to go sit in the corner wearing a dunce cap. Three days of lost sales tax income to the state of NY (not to mention lost income/income-taxes for the staff) and then some (seeing as patrons were not entitled to know when the restaurant would re-open). It’s PURE GENIUS I tell you.
As far as I PERSONALLY can surmise, Centro will re-open tomorrow.
4) As for an "experienced operator" (with no partners or other such investors) having such “problems”: yes, it does indeed get to be a handful for one person running multiple locations at such high volume. Which is why one might need to hire— say, an "expeditor" for example, to handle such bureaucratic tasks like permit renewals and whatnot.
Too bad sometimes some employees such as "expeditors" are fucking dumbasses. Yah, even when they’re paid, believe it or not.
Hope that’s some decent "intel" for you?
Thanks again!
:)
Oh P.S. — That’s actually pxthis.com rather than abbe-diaz.com, but whatever. Thanks anyway.
okay well thanks to the peoples who forwarded along all the hoopla about MinettaTavern and former Gawker whatever jesse-oxfeld. at first i thought it was kinda amusing, but i wasn’t going to address it because— well quite frankly, who gives a shit. woooo somebody who is not a PX got treated like dog poop by a "hott" restaurant! wow that is such the newsflash, i’m amazed there isn’t a whole fucking book about it.
oh wait right, there is. dipshits.
but whatever. you want the astoundingly brilliant wisdom i have come to be known far and wide across the interwebs for distilling with such consistency and remarkable aplomb?
you got it, bitches.
yah so.
okay when i read alls about what (allegedly?) happened, my first instinct was:
aha ha ha ha ahaaah i aint buyin it.
oh i mean— of coooourse i buy the part about some geeky writer dude getting dissed by MinettaTavern. i mean like, DUH.
but sorrrry, i don’t believe the keith-mcnally responsive "excuse" for one second.
you’re dying to know why, aren’t you?
well. lots of reasons!
but mainly cuz i feel like "oh child, i have BEEN THERE, honey."
see, i never had the (assuredly awesome) experience of working for keith-mcnally, but i have worked for his brother brian-mcnally (as you’re all well aware).
anyways one time, a former manager of Pastis told me it’s pretty much "the same" situation. and i believe it cuz even keith-mcnally’s beautiful and enchanting wife alina-johnson.mcnally a whiles ago remarked to me how she and her hubby used to "have screaming matches at the front desk" back when she was a maiterdee (wow that’s just like me and brian! without the ring, the house, and the babies). and then later a former manager of Balthazar confirmed all this with a little anecdote of his own. oh but i digress.
anyhoo
when i attempt to re-enact the whole scenario in my imagination, this is how i envision (with all the vast knowledge and undeniable insight i possess) the whole rigmarole musta gone down:
- geeky writer dude phones in, can’t get his rezzie, blah blah, pitches a hissy fit.
- reservationist "hannan" puts him on hold, checks his name in the OpenTable database and voilà— just as she suspected— he aint shit.
but wait! maybe there’s no OpenTable? fine. so okay she does the next best (and smartest) thing: she checks with big dawg himself. just in case. cuz ya know— some of the most obnoxious peoples on the telephone are often the most important peoples in the wooooorld, no?
- keith-mcnally replies to her inquiry: "jesse ox what? who the fuck is he?"
- and unfortunately, hannan doesn’t have an answer. tsk tsk bad hannan bad hannan. (that’s why you’re just a reservationist and not a maiterdee where all the big money and prestige is, hannan! start keeping up with that PageSix/GothamMag/blogger-circle-jerk, girl! unless of course this is just some stupid side gig to you, because you are too busy working on that PhD— in which case, you GO. carry on. just ignore me.)
- and so keith-mcnally decides: "i would throw out any peasant in the place…!" oh whoops, sorry! wrong restaurateur. i meant
– and so keith-mcnally decides: "eh. i’m too sexy for that clown." or something like that.
- and so hannan goes back to the telephone to inform jesse-ollyollyoxenfree he is not welcome EVERRRR. unless he wants to come at 6 or 11pm.
THEN! OMG IT’S ALLS OVER THE INTERWEBS A GEEKY WRITER DUDE GOT DISSED AAACK GAAGGH ARRRGGH SOUND THE CIRCLE JERKY ALARMS IT’S ANARCHY IT’S CHAOS AND WTF ARE THOSE BLONDE STREAK THINGIES HIS ACTUAL HAIRDO OR IS THAT SOME KIND OF BIZARRO LENS DISTORTION???!!!!
- so keith-mcnally responds to all the blogga blogga drama the only typically unimaginative way he can— he blames it all on poor stupid idiotic hannan. he claims:
"…Mr. Oxfeld was so pushy and aggressive on the telephone that she took it upon herself to distort the reservation policy to ensure that someone as unpleasant-sounding as Mr. Oxfeld would not be eating at Minetta Tavern…"
mmmm… hmm?
BULLSHIT i say.
riiiiight. hannan gives a rat’s ass WHO comes to MinettaTavern, WHY again? cuz i mean, it’s not like she CLOCKS OUT and GOES THE FUCK HOME after her shift working the phone lines or anything.
and she "took it upon herself" to brandish her sword and become the official guardian of the sanctity of the restaurant, cuz i’m sure they’ve NEVER HAD AN OBNOXIOUS PATRON BEFORE, and she really really really felt she wanted to EARN that $7.00 per hour, boy— cuz answering the neverending ringadings and saying the same exact shit a bazillion times a day simply isn’t exhibiting enough dedication to her field. right?
and let’s never mind that if mcnally’s excuse were true, hannan would soooo be FIRED right now. at least, that’s what would have happened at a brian-mcnally establishment. no wait, i’m sorry. she would be FIRED, unless she was really gorgeous and coquettish, and then she would be ‘FIRED with the option of re-employment.’
in short:
come on now. GET SERIOUS.
gawd you people are silly.
But you probably aready knew that from experience, right? Well, here’s even more confirmation.
Recently, former nightlife impresario Steve Lewis blogged about one of his many friends and acquaintances (as is his wont). Normally, his work is of the ‘take with a grain of salt’ nature – most preposterous and controvertible to those in and around the nightlife industry (comprehensibly), and most credible and tenable to – well, everyone else, I suppose (perceivably).
GoldBar’s Jon Lennon was the subject of the day on July 15, 2009. Steve Lewis’s article starts, "Nightclub 101: the door is everything." LOL! Yea, as you can well imagine, it only goes downhill from there.
The column proceeds with Lewis’s typical flotsam and bullshit jetsam, most notably in the precise words "consummate pro" to describe Doorman Lennon. It culminates with these sentiments, expressed by Lennon himself in a Q&A interview:
SL: Tell me how you educate a person.
JL: I just have a brief conversation with them. I even have taken people to the side to do it, where I say, I know you’re a nice guy, your girlfriend is very beautiful, your two friends I can’t do….
SL: You wake up in the morning and you’re doing the door, and you’re thinking…
JL: Always. That’s my personality anyway, thinking about it. I try to remember, “you’re a doorman, as much as you’re in a powerful position, you’re still just a doorman, you’re everyone’s equal.” It never gets to my head because I’d rather be a rock star…
From what I gather, this is where a certain reader (we happen to know) lost her shit. She addresses Steve Lewis via Facebook, stating:
[Abbe Diaz at 5:42pm July 15]
um, excuse me? "consummate pro"– OH RILLY.
sorry, i would never ever ever ever in a million years define telling a prospective patron [at 10PM]: "well, if he owns seven restaurants in manhattan then he can afford to take care of ME. is he asking ME for a favor? then he needs to take care of ME."
(and yes that’s a DIRECT QUOTE)
as the act of a "consummate pro."
The rest of the exchange, including Lennon’s (pedestrian and idiotic) response is here.
Yeah yeah, OK. A doorman is a stupid idiot. It’s because you couldn’t get in, right? Loser! What’s your point, Vanilla Ice? I’ve got the Media holding on Line 1, and they want to know where’s the newsflash already.
Hey, did you read the title? My point is Jon Lennon is a Tool Box. I just wanted to brag again about how brilliant I am (I’m also the "Trollai Llama" in case you didn’t know) and point out how absurdly, hilariously (and contemptibly) it all played out [scroll down the comments, starting with abbe diaz's on July 29, 2009 4:54PM].
L O fucking L. God bless teh internets.
OMG the hipsters are taking over. ugh. gagh. blergh. BLECCCH.
last night was dinner at one of my favoritest places. and can you fucking believe it– one of my most UNfavoritest creepfaces on the planet was there. what the fuck. shouldn’t he be on a stoop or a rooftop or in some internet cafe or some shit in brooklyn somewheres? i mean– SURELY the west village is too bourgeois for him, no? GO AWAY JERKHEAD.
yah so
there i am trying to enjoy my dinner at my regular weekly haunt when, lo and behold, who should come and plop his dorky ass at the table right behind me. gabriel "dweebface" snyder. nice sneakers, scrotumhead. whassa matter– Goodwill was out of Hush Puppies?
so right away (after i suppress the bile bubbling forth and ingurgitate my cud and overcome my gag reflex and roll my eyes into my head) i say to my date: "eew. that’s gabriel snyder." and then i explain who gabriel snyder is.
my date responds: "ohhhh… should i say something to him?" and starts to rise out of his seat.
but i stop him.
why?
because (aside from the fundamental axiom he shouldn’t fight my battles for me) gabriel-snyder just happens to be sitting with richard-johnson, paula-froelich, corynne-steindler, chris-wilson, tom-sykes, and a half dozen other gawd only knows who elses. in other words, ya know– i was suddenly overwhelmed by visions of an imperial shihtzu in a pool of piranhas, if you hear what i’m sayin.
some other time, gabriel-snyder.
BITE ME, BITCH.
** See also: The UPDATE on Gabriel Snyder**
= "personne extraordinaire"