Despite some vague reports to the contrary, PX This has learned that the latest incarnation of "The Room Formerly Known as Boom Boom" on the 18th floor of The Standard Hotel will (as of tomorrow) officially be named The Bon Bon, and will begin admitting "the general public" from 4PM to 9PM for Supper (an extended version of their current Preview menu). The room will then be "cleared out" from 9 to 9:30PM, and (its current policy of) "exclusive" admittance will begin from 10PM onward.
BOOM.
Bon Bon Apetit!
The Boom Boom Room
(or whatever it’s called) at The Standard Hotel
yah so by now you’ve heard so much about the BoomBoom, you probably feel like you’ve already been there, yes?
slow down, skippy. it’s worth a real live flesh and blood visit anyways. that shit is hott.
sigh. if you can get in.
but fear not, bitches. it’s actually not as hard as everybody makes it out to be. not for YOU, anyways. cuz gawd knows you wouldn’t even be here reading this right now if you weren’t fabulous, am i right?
don’t get me wrong, it CAN be a bit of a chore if you don’t have the skinny, of course. so here’s the 411 google.
it aint open at 4PM, 6PM, or even 8PM. anymore. (for now.)
apparently it opens at 9PM. you’re welcome.
cuz fer sure you were not about to get that information by asking anybody working inside the hotel or the restaurants. holy oh my shit— they are so fucking cryptic about it (ugh bloggers ruin everything!), it’s like fucking fort knox up in that mutherfukker. nobody knows what the hells is going on. or at least they don’t want to tell you what the hells is going on. even the really nice doorman who goes and asks three different peoples on your behalf what the hells is going on will only come back to tell you he doesn’t know whether or not anybody knows what the hells is going on.
and when somebody finally offers up the morsel of information "if the red light is on, it’s open"— that’s a lie.
and to top it all off, no joke— the DOZEN OR SO peoples employed at theStandard you’re very well acquainted with personally— all have the fucking night off.
GAAUGH.
but it’s okay it’s all good.
cuz when you eventually figure out IT OPENS AT 9PM, you will subsequently suddenly find people at the side entrance who are more than happy to accommodate you, and your ass will breeze right through like it was never a damned problem in the first place.
ha ha ahaa umm if you "belong" that is?
siiiigh what can i tell you. if you are even bothering to wonder right now whether or not you "belong" then maybe save yourself the hassle and stay yer ass at home.
oh but here’s a little bit of a tip for you (even if you do "belong"):
see, supposedly even agyness-deyn was turned away last week. now—
if you’ve ever seen agyness-deyn runnin round town as is her wont, then you know homegirl dresses like a typical brooklyn broke assed homeless hipster street urchin.
well, sorry bitches. supermodel or no supermodel, BoomBoomRoom clearly aint feelin your st.mark’s place fedora. they don’t think your canvas converse are cute OR ironic.
all you have to do is take one look at the room to know this. every man who works there is wearing a tie. yah even kamil-parchomienko— and i would bet cash money he never even OWNED a necktie before the BoomBoomRoom opened.
so ya know. if you really wanna go, work it out.
oh and by the way. contrary to popular belief, "knowing" kamil-parchomienko aint gonna help you get in AT ALL. cuz you can’t get that boy on the horn for anything, i don’t care how many times he’s called you "baybee."
once you get inside though, oh! it’s so so nice to see him.
and everybody else too. seriously, that crowd is fierce.
anyhoo. i left right when it started to get really boisterous around 11:30PM, but i still got to see owen-wilson sitting at the bar. (okay fine— HE can dress like shit if he wants to. but he’s owen-wilson and you’re not.)
**check the latest UPDATE on “the BoomBoom.”**
i’ve only ever been to one other one in my life. but that was totally different cuz it was on a fancy french island way out in the caribbean so it wasn’t such a "scandal" or any such thing. that beach was called "saline" (that’s suh-leen not say-leen like the eyedrops) and it wasn’t very crowded at all— the only naked peoples there were a couple of (beautiful) women off in a quiet corner. with their boyfriends. the boys weren’t naked, just the girls.
see? no biggie.
but this visit was pretty different all right.
oh! before i elaborate—
did you know this beach is considered one of "new york’s best kept secrets" ? even though it’s technically 35 minutes outside of new york city.
well, apparently— it is. so i don’t want to be the one to ruin the secret (my friends will get mad at me).
alls i can say is: if you don’t know "the secret," i guess you’d better ask somebody.
ANYHOO
so yah. there’s this nude beach about 35 minutes away. it’s pretty umm dope? uhh, yah sure— dope!
i’m sorry, maybe i’m a prude or whatever, but
eeheee hahahahaa that is just some of the bugged outtest shit i have ever seen (in real life, i mean. not just like on teevee and whatnot). and i have seen some pretty bugged out stuff. i used to work at ClubUSA so believe me when i tell you i have seen some things. i have seen a row of gay men fucking in a TRAIN that’s how much stuff i’ve seen.
yah so. they even play naked volleyball at this beach. and they did naked dancing. and naked drinking. and naked singing. and naked body surfing.
A TWO MILE STROLL DOWN THE WAY IS ANOTHER PLAIN OLE REGULAR BEACH WITH A RESTAURANT/BAR GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTERS YOU BITCHES!
= "personne extraordinaire"