Well, we hate to say we told you so…
Oh who we are kidding, we looove it. Told ya so. Told ya so! TOLD YA SO, MUTHERFUKKERS.
We know, we know, PX This is accurate in its predictions so often, it’s hard to keep track. So let’s re-cap shall we?
Sometime in early November, Marc Epstein, owner of Milk Street Cafe located at 40 Wall St in the Financial District, blamed the failure of his previously "booming" business on the protesters of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Unfortunately for Mr Epstein, he completely failed to take into account the sagacity and perspicacity of downtown New York City’s own Food & Beverage authority, PX This.
The ridiculousness, hyperbole, and bombast of the story that appeared in The New York Post (and subsequently other news outlets) was enough to raise the hairs on our neck, resulting in our rebuttal. Which (as our general modus operandi demonstrates) may have been enough to satiate our enthusiasm for avid bullshit unveiling— EXCEPT that some dumbass had the temerity to try and refute our confutation with, get this— idiocy and lies.
Wooo, child. If there’s one thing regular readers of PX This know by now, it’s: Homey don’t play that.
Therefore, please excuse or join us as you see fit, as we revel in our little jig of joy right now. Suck it, Milk Street Cafe.
Oh and P.S.
That "former occupier" that went "bankrupt in the middle of the night"? Well, it just so happens they’ve already been informed by a concerned "recruiter" that all worthy employees of Milk Street Cafe will be referred to them for employment.
Oh, the irony.
[P.P.S. Don't even get us started on the karmic implications of all that ill-gotten bright shiny equipment that was utilized during that woeful six months of operation, bitches.]
WTF?!
This just in via Facebook® from Salman Rushdie: "Facebook deactivated my account because they thought I wasn’t me. Now they insist I call myself by the first name I have never used. What a bunch of morons…
As I don’t and will never recognize myself as ‘Ahmed Rushdie’ I will be reducing FB activities to just about zero and cutting back my list of friends to actual friends or at least acquaintances, just to keep in touch. I’m done." – Ahmed Rushdie née Salman Rushdie
Now, part of me is really pretty scared that Salman Rushdie will un-friend me for publicizing his sorta private Facebook® status update (even though obviously, I’ve done it before), but the other part of me can’t help but think this whole thing is seriously ridiculous— but I think if I had asked him first, he likely wouldn’t have allowed me to make a fuss about it or anything. It’s kinda like that time awhile back I saw the cocktail waitress at Marquee shoo Maxwell and his friends away from a table in an entirely empty room, because he didn’t want to buy a whole bottle. Maxwell decided to leave rather than assert himself, he said he didn’t “want to read about it” on like Page Six or whatever the next day.
But I mean, rilly? Salman effin Rushdie can’t just call Mark Zuckerberg to straighten this mess out, but Julia fucking Allison can use her connection to his sister to be the only person ever allowed to convert her friends to "fans" without their knowledge/permission?
(Sigh, this is just another reason why Facebook® kinda sucks, even though I do actually like it for a bunch of other reasons.)
And, it isn’t exactly a secret that Salman Rushdie is diggin on the Twitter® now. Not so long ago he asked his Facebook® friends to join him on Twitter® should they be so inclined, and then a bit afterward remarked how not many at all had done so. Myself included; sorry, I just don’t twit, it’s not my thing.
Now Salman Rushdie is threatening to leave Facebook® altogether. Whaaat? No more poems, no more limericks, no more jokes, no more updates about his new projects and awesome travels and lovely family and whanot? NOOOOoooooo!
Oh dear Zuck, if you can hear me— please don’t screw up whatever reverence your minions have mustered for you, mostly due to a probably fictitious but totally awesome couple lines in The Social Network.
Please please pleeease fix this. And then all will be right with the universe, please lord, thank you, amen.
(Also, I don’t want to have to contend with this when I’m finally famous. I aint calling myself "Mary" for nobody, fuck that.)
UPDATE (2 hours later): Oh. Well, that was quick. Evidently it’s fixed, and Salman Rushdie is “Salman Rushdie” again. Apparently he didn’t mind asserting himself after all; he started talking smack about Facebook® on Twitter®, eheee.
Well, he’s happy so that’s good.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
The Blabber in the Trenches
• The latest riveting rumors swirling within the industry have restaurateur Keith McNally "livid" over the news that the lease on Meatpacking District mainstay, Pastis, will not be renewed. Although there’s some disagreement as to the exact date of the lease expiration (Pastis opened in the Fall of 1999), speculators have the restaurant’s impending denouement pegged anywhere from "by the end of this year" to "sometime next year." As long suspected, the air rights over Pastis have proven far too valuable to its owners to extend Pastis’s entitlement, which simply cannot fulfill the estimated cost of retaining its space at its current market value, even if offered the option.
This comes on the heels of the cognition that the latest of several nightlife impresarios to have been offered the Pravda space on Lafayette St, within the last year or so, has also declined.
• And speaking of the latest move in NYC’s fast-paced Tenancy Twirl, sagacious speculators have Andre Balazs waiting in the wings for his crack at the Tony Turf Two-Step. Although his turn still "may be about a couple years" away, insiders say there’s already "talk" of the prime basement level space in Balazs’s perennially posh Mercer Hotel (currently Mercer Kitchen) and are rubbing their hands in glee over the inevitable "infusion" of new blood a Balazs self-owned/operated venue could bring.
And let’s face it; given Balazs’s smashing success at self-sufficient F&B in The Standard New York (and the, ahem— lack of love lost, so to speak), in our percipient minds this prudent rumor practically confirms itself.
• Aaand speaking of the habitual Hotel Hippity Hop, this just in reminded us: Former General Manager Lana Trevisan is no longer at Hotel Americano. She’s at Gansevoort Park now. (You’re welcome, googlie gods.)
• Which! also reminds us: Former Executive Chef Jonnatan Leiva is no longer manning the kitchen at 10 Downing (which also not-so-recently lost three of its managing partners, duh). He’s up the street at John deLucie‘s The Lion now.
• And now that we have chef on the brain, yes it’s true what you’ve heard— Josh Eden‘s Shorty’s .32 is indeed closed for good, and not simply "for renovations" as you’d all hoped. After failing to secure the "roughly $186,000.00" in this troublesome economy that Eden had sought to "buy out" his decisive principal partners and make minor reparations, Eden then accepted one of several major offers for his tremendous talent.
• Finally, as for the you-know-who and the you-know-what due in you-know-when: come on now, peoples. What are we, his mother?
That is all. And we really really mean it; THAT IS ALL. What the hells do you want, a pool or something? christ.
Hope you’re happy now, sheesh. [Thanks, we missed you too.]
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX Me. (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
When Abbe Diaz published her journal, PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" [née Diary of the Potted Plant] in 2004, she’d had no idea what she was in for. Sure, she expected the process would be difficult and she might never work in the fine dining restaurant industry ever again, but she never imagined the truth could be so controversial— in a book that’s essentially about HAVING DINNER.
Despite PX This being lauded by most of her colleagues (and some of the most illustrious names in the business) as "the bible of the [NYC] industry," Diaz soon learned the politics of Food and/or "Culture" Media & PR is a game that’s dirtier than last night’s dishes. Finding herself under unjustified fire from various vastly popular and influential periodicals, news blogs, food press, online foodie communities, and other professional and aspiring writers, Diaz (a textbook Scorpio/Monkey) quickly realized [again] there were two things in her life she would never be willing to do: 1) Take unmerited bullshit, and 2) Kiss spiteful pretentious ass.
As you can probably imagine, that went over reeeally well. Mistruths, mudslinging, manipulation, misappropriation, corruption, censorship, and the tarnishing of her character— as well as the livelihoods of her friends and loved ones— are just some of the things she subsequently endured.
This is that story.
"This writing stuff is HARD." – Salman Rushdie (to friends on Facebook®)
"If you think the writing is hard, wait ’til you try the selling part. Oh, wait…" – Abbe Diaz (in response to friend, Salman Rushdie, on Facebook®)
PX Me – The Sequel to PX This
(How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous,
and Married a Millionaire)
- COMING SOON IN THE SPRING OF 2012 -
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Abbe Diaz is a freelance commercial-artist, designer/dressmaker, and restaurant consultant. She has worked in the restaurant/bar industry for nearly 25 years, with numerous stints throughout the New York dining/party scene that include: Limelight, Palladium, Tunnel, Club USA, Coffee Shop, Spy, Cafe Tabac, The Strand (Miami Beach), Mercer Kitchen, Ilo, Lotus, and Theo. She served as the opening maître d’ for The Park, Smith, and 66.
She is proud to have had the opportunity to work under such nightlife arbiters as: Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Brian McNally, Jonathan Morr, Peter Gatien, Eric Goode, and Sean Macpherson.
Diaz gained a B.A. in Economics from Rutgers College, Rutgers University – New Brunswick. She was further educated as a non-matriculate Design student at the Fashion Institute of Technology, in NYC, where she currently resides.
• “The New York service industry’s Norma Rae, Abbe Diaz… the Service Industry’s Nikke Finke…” – BlackBook
• “…pure unbridled crazy batshitness…” – gawker.com
For more information about PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" visit http://pxthis.com/thebook
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
Hey, has anyone ever had a "horrible boss" by any chance? We know we know— it’s like, sooo totally unlikely in the F&B industry!— but we’d just thought we’d ask. Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Diaz?
Oh, there I am! Lookit that: "Abbe Diaz, a 42-year-old living in Greenwich Village, had so many bad experiences working in New York City restaurants that she wrote a book about it, PX This. (Diary of the ‘Maître d’ to the Stars’)…"
Aww maaan, did they leave out the part about the boss that would undermine potential business/customers simply to… oh forget it never mind. (Thanks, Daily News!)
However, if by some chance you’d like to know more about my crazy contemptible crackheaded mutherfukkers "horrible" bosses (and sooo much more), you know where to go! You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! It’s the… oh you get the picture.
Yay, me!
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me- The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
• This just in: The awesome team behind Miss Lily’s has beaten Subway® Sandwiches to the punch, and have taken over the corner storefront next door. The commodious adjacent space will house an extension of Miss Lily’s fresh juice bar, a record store, and Miss Lily’s To-Go. It is expected to be in operation by late Summer / early Autumn of this year.
• Longtime F&Bulous operator Jean-Marc Houmard (Indochine, Bond St, Kittichai, Republic) has joined forces with former BlackBook magazine publisher and Black Book List author Evan L. Schindler to open a new eatery in the former Acme Bar & Grill location at 9 Great Jones St just west of Lafayette St.
We’d tell you more, but then we’d have to… oh for fuck’s sake you know how it goes. I dunno— maybe try checking the The Post tomorrow or something.
Let’s just leave it at: we know all about the food (not Italian, thank gawd), the tentative name (not complicated/exotic), and the anticipated opening (not until maybe at least the Fall) but as usual, we’re not allowed to say anything about it. Why mention it all then, you ask? Ha ha aha hah duh, are you kidding? P X THIS 4 EVA BITCHEZ
(Sigh, now we’re in trouble.)
• Here’s a blind item for you: What "very private" hospitality executive allegedly very quietly gave birth to her second child at 3AM on a weekend morning at The Standard Hotel? Sssh, you didn’t hear that from us.
Following relatively recent news of shakeups at The Box, EMM, and Bagatelle, PX This has learned that Managing Director Ian Nicholson is the latest executive to decamp The Standard Hotel here in NYC. Following the earlier but unrelated departure of F&B Director of Operations Lana Trevisan (currently GM of soon-to-open Hotel Americano), Nicholson resigned from Hotels AB to forge a partnership deal with hotelier Alan Faena, most notably of Philippe Starck designed Faena Hotel+Universe in Buenos Aires.
Prospective projects of Faena and Nicholson include the somewhat beleaguered Cipriani Ocean Resort & Club location at 3201 Collins Ave in Miami Beach, as well as a future NYC site, currently still in its early stages of development. They are backed by Russian-American billionaire, Len Blavatnik who also, mere weeks ago, purchased Warner Music Group for a reported $3.3 billion.
Nicholson has served as The Standard’s Managing Director since May 2007 and as Vice President – Hotel Operations of Andre Balazs Properties since January 2010. Prior, he maintained the General Manager position at The SoHo Grand, Tribeca Grand, and The Hudson Hotel.
Hey, have you ever wondered whatever happened to Matt Levine? Oh, no? Well, we’re gonna update you anyway. (It’ll be fun, you’ll see.)
Apparently, Matt Levine "sold" his once uuuüber-hott Eldridge and then went on to undertake some bar/lounge something something at The Hotel on Rivington and then some other stuff happened with some other project he was endeavoring to— oh, whatever— pretty much his whole history is here if you want it. (Hang in there, it gets better.)
Anyhoo, PX This hears Levine was recently ejected from Mister H. We only mention it because: har har aharr, the irony is just killing us.
Evidently, not long ago Levine visited Mister H with actors Bryan Greenberg and Eddie Kaye Thomas of HBO’s How to Make It in America. According to a source from within, despite being seated at "the best table in the house," Levine soon became irate with the waitress who offered him a "bottle menu," speaking rudely and condescendingly to her. The frustrated waitress then summoned the host, whom Levine allegedly manhandled (by grabbing his elbow) and berated with the words, "Look into my eyes. I own three clubs in New York, and I don’t buy bottles. People send me bottles." Unmoved, the inured and apathetic host in turn summoned the manager, aaand "… within about three sentences, she was over him," too.
Levine and his guests were then summarily shown the door.
Another source who chooses to remain anonymous sums it up thusly: "Mathematically, if A is arrogance, and B is bottles, then two C-list actors is definitely not equal or greater than A minus B."
Or rather: 2 x C ≠ or > A – B
Got it? (See, fun and educational!)
We’re just sayin’.
UPDATE: Matt Levine responds via e-mail and has this to say:
"I have nothing but respect for… people in the industry… but come on – this story is bogus and wacky. Not sure where you got your information, but it is completely inaccurate and completely false… Isn’t even an inkling of facts or truth. Even the "quotes" — that is nothing close to what I would ever say, and I never even interacted with a waitress. It’s amazing how a story can be completely made up…"
Matt Levine also graciously requested we remove this narrative from our website. And we would (because, quite frankly, it just doesn’t matter that much to us), but since Eater has already more widely spread our little anecdote, the point just seems kinda moot now. And removing it altogether would probably just serve to increase the curiosity about what the report entailed, possibly fueling even more outlandish "fabrications" in the end.
In any case, the bottom line is this: sometimes stories like this need to be taken with a grain of salt— by ALL parties involved, including our audience. Had this been an account of Levine blowing rails in a banquette or banging hookers in the bathroom, perhaps we would have "fact check[ed]" first, as Levine would have "appreciate[d]." However, in this particular circumstance, we simply didn’t believe anybody would have a reason to make up a tale as absurd as this— nor a "quote" as utterly fabulous as "Look into my eyes…"
This is simply an amusing anecdote, meant to entertain— about an endlessly faaascinating industry, about a person within that industry who, like it or not, has successfully captivated and retained your decidedly limited attention span. So ya know— I guess yalls should ponder that one for a minute, bitches.
In short: We wholeheartedly thank Matt Levine for his courteous and heartfelt response. (And perhaps humbly suggest that next time, he more advantageously train his stupid fucking door people.)
God bless New York, God bless America and the First Amendment, and God bless us all, everyone. We would further venture to ask: Can’t we all just get along? But ha ha ahaa that would just be retarded.
Carry on, mutherfukkers.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
MORE on Nightlife
Following yesterday’s news of a shakeup at The Box, we hear nightlife fixture Aalex Julien has left EMM Group’s Simyone Lounge (aka SL). In a somewhat ironic twist, partners Mark Birnbaum and Eugene Remm have evidently required all operatives to sign a Non-Compete Agreement— a move Remm might possibly have appropriated from Steve Hanson‘s BR Guest, having once overseen BR Guests’s very first foray in nightlife, Level V, formerly housed in the basement space under (defunct) Meatpacking District restaurant Vento (currently Dos Caminos), located mere blocks from EMM properties, SL and Tenjune.
Apparently, the rigid Non-Compete includes provisos on non-employment with rival entities for designated extended periods, and allegedly bars impresarios from further related employment in NYC at any time. Obviously, this proves problematic for Julien, who once openly admitted to surveying "other projects," at least one of which was situated in "the Meatpacking."
Julien has worked with EMM for several years, manning the entrance to Tenjune since its inception in September of 2006.
photo: Melissa Hom for Grubstreet, New York Magazine
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
This just in: Nightlife impresario and Calvin Klein play pal, Nick Rytting, has decamped from The Box, where until last week he retained the title of General Manager. He currently joins co-owners and (longtime F&Bulous operatives) Larry Poston and Johnny Swet at Hotel Griffou.
The move is a logical one for Rytting, some of whose friends and followers within the industry raised eyebrows and expressed skepticism when Rytting departed F&B for Nightlife’s notoriously tumultuous Team Hammerstein, following his years-long stint at La Esquina.
Hotel Griffou, which recently replaced original beleaguered chef Jason Giordano with Bouley and Per Se alum David Santos, now seems perfectly poised to reclaim its initial über-hot status, as Poston (formerly of The Waverly Inn and Pastis), Swet (formerly of Freemans and The Park), and Rytting must surely constitute downtown’s F&B Power-Pulchritudinous A-Gay trifecta.
Stay tuned.
This has been a PX This PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
See also (earlier): On Nick Rytting
photo by Kristin Brown
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
Coming Soon: PX Me – The Sequel to PX This [How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire]
hi,
before anything else, i would just like to say thank you to everybody for all your continuing encouragement and support, i really appreciate it.
the next thing i guess i should do is clarify about the books, since i know there are a lot of new people here from the Daily News article and whatnot, looking for more information or elaboration. thank you for your interest!
from what i gather, some news/gossip outlets got it wrong; PX This (the book) actually came before PX This (the blahg), not vice versa.
also, if you want the stories mentioning the celebrities or whatever, that stuff is actually mostly in PX This (the book), and less here in the blahg or in PX Me (as was reported).
my next book, PX Me (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire) is technically a sequel to PX This, and will chronicle the things that have happened since the first book was published. obviously, if you’ve read the first book, you’ll have a more profound understanding of the second.
but if you’ve never read PX This (and/or don’t intend to), that’s okay too— i sorta anticipate your interest in PX Me will stem from your curiosity about how to publish a book and possibly all the rest of it offered in the subtitle. that’s fine, that’ll work.
in any case, if you’re still reading this letter, wow i’m so grateful, that must mean you’re really intrigued. likely, you’re one of this blog’s regular readers (as opposed to the many inquisitive seekers led down this path by the google gods) and to you goes my deepest gratitude.
you know me well by now, better even than some of my closest friends (seriously! but more of that later, in PX Me). some of you (and you knooow who you are) have asked about "the fashion" — "where’s the fashion? what about the fashion? how come there’s no fashion?" — since clearly you’re well aware that PX This (the book) was, ironically, more about fashion than it ever was about restaurants, but it just so happens the dining-loving "audience" caught onto the book first.
you smart cookies, you.
well. incidentally, now is the time for me to really hunker down and get to the final editing of PX Me. as you’re perhaps aware, it’s been delayed several seasons already.
although this blog has a number of great contributors and exponents, they, as you’ve probably surmised, all still maintain full-time jobs within the F&B industry. and unfortunately, there’s simply no way i personally can edit this blog every day and also write my next book— it’s not just the amount of time involved, but also: trying to switch my brain from one type of writing to another every day is just too hard for me. sorry!
i’ve wracked my noggin for a solution and voilà! you, my beloved homies, inspired the bestest one. so, NOW you finally get "the fashion." hooray!
for the next several months while i work on PX Me, PX This (the blahg) will be updated less frequently, only about once or twice a week. hopefully that will amply satiate the restaurant-lovers and the scrutinizing googlies.
in the meantime, my daily blogging will consist mostly of photos— of— you got it. "the fashion." that way i can maintain my "brand’s momentum" (that’s book-marketing jargon, see) but still not have to switch my brain back and forth every day.
if you’re the type of visitor who comes for a daily "fix" of PX This and would like to take a gander at what comes next, please adjust your bookmarks and follow the white rabbit. you won’t have to visit two websites to stay informed of PX This, because i will gladly alert you every time it’s updated and offer up a handy hyperlink ladder from down in the rabbit hole.
are you ready? blue pill or red pill? if you want substance, well— i try. sometimes.
but if you want style— wooo child, have i got you covered.
here we go. please click here –> http://abbediaz.com
thank you so much again.
xoxo,
abbe
p.s. the "style blog" is currently in the process of being fully updated. hopefully by the time you see this, it will all be caught up to the present day.
Thank you, Hamptons.com!
Damn, now that’s one of the bestest, intuitivest, most comprehensivest things about myself I’ve ever read. (Except maybe the title. But whatever!)
Thank you!
"Celebrities Stink (Mostly): Maître D To The Stars Names Names" – Hamptons.com
Uh-oh. Ugh… oh!
(sigh.)
from: Hollywood Professional/Producer Dude <***@***.com>
to: px this <px.this@gmail.com>
date: Tue, Dec 21, 2010 at 10:47 AM
subject: RE: ***
Hey there,
Yeah, I read that story… a while back. Sucks. But that’s Hollywood. A while back, *** and I were pitching a motion picture treatment I wrote with *** called ***, which was about a guy who ***. Two weeks after we met with some big players, *** (director of ***) announces he’s doing a movie called *** that had roughly the same plot. Suddenly, no one’s returning calls.
Sigh.
Anyway, if I may (now, this is a preface phrase that obsequious assholes use before they convey a contrary opinion, but I mean it in the best possible way here), I think you might be approaching TV the wrong way. Here’s my thought:
Episodic television is expensive and largely unprofitable, unless you’re among the top 20 shows on TV. It can cost upwards of $1 million per episode to produce a new show from scratch, and then the networks have to pray they get their money back before the show gets canceled in the first season. ABC’s biting the big one this season. I think only one or two of their new shows are making any headway in the ratings. The rest will likely be canceled by season’s end.
Reality TV (as much as I hate uttering the phrase) is far less risky, and can cost as little as $100,000 per episode to produce. That makes it almost instantly profitable, even if the show is only pulling a .1 or a .2 in the Nielsens. Moreover, look at what MTV was able to accomplish with that collection of STD-ridden train wrecks on Jersey Shore. I mean, ye gods. I wouldn’t touch Sooki to push her away, let’s be serious. But there they are, making money hand over fist (no pun intended) with the most insufferable group of TV personalities this side of the cast of Sex and the City (quick joke – Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”).
But here’s where you could shine, because you’re actually smart and witty and you have an attitude that is nothing short of a force of nature. In that context, I think you could offer a show that’s always unpredictable and interesting, because you just don’t give a shit what people think about you. You wear you integrity like a Vera Wang with body armor as an accessory. And frankly, in the context of episodic television, I doubt you’d be able to find an actress who could capture your personality well enough to portray you. I think most of the actresses who might audition for the role would, at best, come off as a conceited bitch, because your personality is more complex than I think television can capture through a scripted series.
David Chase (creator of the Sopranos and one of my favorite TV writers because of his long run on The Rockford Files) once said the TV is a prisoner of dialogue, because there is no budget for action. Honestly, I don’t think your life and experiences can be captured through talking heads on a screen. It’s situational, chaotic and goes from the ridiculous to the sublime in a matter of seconds. I can’t think of too many TV writers who could capture that without trivializing it.
So, my suggestion for you is to think about a reality show that can capture your life as it is, maybe even revisiting some of the people and places from your blogs and your book. Good TV is about conflict, and you don’t have to look too far to find it. Like you, I am convinced that Darwin was wrong. The unfit have survived, and we have allowed them to breed at an alarming rate. Putting someone like you out there, I mean really out there, could make for some really good TV – better than any shit some pothead TV writer could concoct…
… Signed,
Hollywood Professional/Producer Dude
* * * * *
(sigh.)
• See also (earlier/related): Who Would Play You?
The Blabber in the Trenches
If the recent flurry of new restaurant openings (at a dizzying pace of approximately a half-dozen per week) hasn’t satiated your dining-out ennui yet— rest assured, there are a lot mooore coming. Longtime operatives from all over the industry continue to vie for spaces, investors, and the all-important SLA OP license. With impressive pedigrees from such popular venues as: The Box, Rose Bar, La Esquina, Balthazar, Mercer Kitchen, and 66, these seasoned veterans of the F&B industry are sure to keep you wooing reservationists (or mooing in "cattle-calls") through 2011 at the very minimum.
We’d love to give you all the details, but as usual, we promised to keep it "off the record."
Oh but wait! Here’s one bible we didn’t swear on:
Unconfirmed reports have surfaced that historically perilous chef Jody Williams is on track to open another venue on her old stomping grounds, this time at the diminutive former Pink Tea Cup space at 42 Grove St, possibly partnered with rumored companion Rita Sodi (of neighboring West Village eatery, I Sodi).
That is all.
GREATEST HITS: PX This [The Blahg]
Hi! Thank you for your "search"!
This website is currently undergoing changes as it continually progresses, so the entry for which you are seeking has likely been archived within "The Greatest Hits – PX This [The Blahg]". It was removed from its original location in preparation for the upcoming release of PX Me -The Sequel to PX This. If you would like more information and/or further clarification on this particular narrative, please read PX This – The Revised Edition and/or PX Me (coming soon).
And so without further ado— by popular (search engine) demand, we proudly present THE GREATEST HITS of PX This [The Blahg]
[*** warning: Eats, Shoots and Ladders Leaves freaks, please CLICK HERE* and HERE before reading any further. then take that favorite book of yours and stick it up your ass. thank you! ***]
"Nick Denton vs Leigh Haber"
thu 01.18.07: oh my gawd last night is without a doubt going down in my own little personal history as one of the FUNNEST nights i have had (or will have) ever in my whole fucking lifetime
eeheeheheee haha hahaaa check this shit out:
yah so last night was dinner at WaverlyInn. i invited leigh-haber to join me for a nice evening out because i was having a really shitty week and i totally deserved a respite (and i wanted to celebrate leigh-haber’s Modern Times).
anyways
somewhere amidst the bottle of Montagny and the fantastic conversation and the massive pot pies and the jon-bon.jovis and karolina-kurkovas and andre-harrells and graydon-carters and brian-mcnallies and eric-goodes and sante-d’orazios and sean-macphersons and jimmy-mccaffreys etc etc etc i tap leigh-haber on the elbow and declare, "hey look it’s nick-denton."
leigh-haber takes one glimpse at nick-denton and responds, "oh. hmm. should i say something?" and before i even have a chance to completely execute my shrug, leigh-haber is out of her seat and across the room ohmygoodness i was so fucking proud of her she’s like totally my hero.
apparently leigh-haber said to nick-denton [right there in front of his entire dinner party-of-six GO GIRL]: "ya know, last week i was promoted (because i worked my ass off and i’m finally getting some dues) and it should have been a nice day for me, but instead of feeling good about it, i had to feel miserable, because i was both promoted and eviscerated on the very same day, by a bunch of people who have absolutely no inkling who i am."
[or something like that, i admit i'm paraphrasing but i know the word "eviscerate" was definitely in there.]
nick-denton then evidently replied: "i didn’t see the item."
so then leigh-haber retorted something like: "well as the owner of Gawker, i believe you bear a certain level of responsibility."
nick-denton conceded.
and then leigh-haber came back to the table and i was positively BEAMING for her no joke i was totally the [hot. smokin] freaky asian chick GLOWING in the corner.
a little whiles later, as we were strolling out of the restaurant, theWaverly higher-powers decided they wanted to buy us a round of drinks [because i am so fucking fierce like that], they insisssted we sit down again at a front bar table and enjoy a cordial or digestif. so leigh-haber and i accepted, we got nice and cozy in the corner by the fireplace and let them kiss our fucking rings.
so then of course leigh-haber and i were afforded a lovely view of nick-denton leaving after dinner, but pausing for a minute (after a quick glance thrown our way) to tap at his Blackberry(?)Treo(?)Sidekick(?)whatever.
i turn to leigh-haber and i guffaw: "look, maybe nick-denton is texting his editor about you right now aahahahahaahaa"
and then nick-denton was out the door.
so then leigh-haber and i sat for a while and enjoyed our drinks and the sparkling witty banter of The Little Dog Laughed‘s douglas-carter.beane (who just happened to be seated next table over) and right as leigh-haber was lamenting that perhaps being called "the next judith-regan" wasn’t "exactly the best compliment"—
GUESS who walked into the restaurant.
judith fucking regan i SWEAR TO GAWD. ha ha hah hahhahh ahahahhahahaa you think i can make this shit up, i can’t.
so. today i just want to extend a really warm and heartfelt thank you to leigh-haber. for making my evening just the bestest night ever.
and also to say i’m sorry, but i just couldn’t resist.
even though leigh-haber sent me a gracious and lovely e-mail this morning asking me to please not comment on our night out together on my silly little blahggety blahg thingie—
sweetie you’re smoking crack there was NO WAY IN HELLS i was going to keep this one to myself.
ANYHOO
the other thing for which i wanted to thank leigh-haber (and i bet she doesn’t even realize this) is that last night she really opened my eyes and helped me with something of a little internal dilemma.
see, i have been sorta struggling with this here blahg thingie lately. it just so happens i am lucky enough to have been offered a couple of small investments from some very nice (and apparently brilliant, with astoundingly remarkable foresight) peoples who, for some reason, think possibly there is some $$ to be made here somehow (selling ads or some shit). but
i have been ruminating to myself just HOW in gawd’s name will this be possible— i mean
do this EVERY DAY? how could i possibly, i’m not that fucking interesting.
and so lately, my inner turmoil has been:
should i use the mountains and mountains and mountains of nightlife industry "insider" 411
[ahahaa scratch that. 411? bitch please, i got Google all up in this mutherfukker. no joke]
that is fed and spread to me incessantly— the kind of stuffs i think other interweb bloogie thingies would kill for—
[like for example how Morandi is set to open like any millisecond now but already there's a shade of drama in the kitchen, i can't wait to see how that shit plays out... and how BoweryHotel is lookin gooood... and how LafayetteInn is looking even better, and all their "pre-opening" guests are faaabooolous... and how ChinatownBrasserie had better make that dimsum shit work, boy... and how masaharu-morimoto and stephen-starr just might be beefin with each other and maybe they'll get divorced pretty soon... and how alan-yau is making ian-schrager's life a little bit of hell... and how theCoreClub is ummm maybe not exactly impressing their members so so much... and ya know. stuff like that. oh but i digress.]
—but are told to me unwittingly. in casual conversation. by my friends and acquaintances and "colleagues" and other peoples i love and admire and respect.
i don’t want to be frank-bruni or adam-platt or alan-richman or steve-cuozzo with their frikkin (obnoxious) one-star three-star go-here don’t-go-there they’re-worthy/unworthy let’s-shut-this-fucking-place-down bullshit.
i don’t want to go peeking in the cracks of the plywood trying to expose projects that haven’t even fucking started yet.
i don’t want to go sticking my fat obtrusive face in peoples’ businesses just to say mean things about them, because it’s "funny."
and i definitely don’t want to go clamoring for ugly photographs of "celebrities" [hell, everybody takes a bad photo sometimes yes even someone as totally smokin as me] just so i can make them look stupid and then exploit them.
well
last night with leigh-haber i realized i don’t have to. hells, my life is pretty darned amusing sometimes. and no i’m not a "business," i’m an ARTIST goddammit.
(eeheee geezus, i really can take anything in the universe and make it all about me)
thanks leigh-haber. and thanks to you too BigHomey
:)
*** Gawker’s next-day response to this narrative is here –> “Leigh Haber Takes Her Complaints Straight to the Top” ***
* * * * *
**pictured: Nick Denton, former Gawker blogger Emily Gould
pxthis.com archives
This is an abbreviated version of Abbe Diaz’s diary/blog entry on January 18, 2007, for web archival purposes only. A far more detailed, thorough, and incisive account is to be included in Diaz’s upcoming second book, PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Coming Soon in the Spring of 2011)
* "…The intellectual community, as usual, showed itself to be timid and divided, and even the most unexpected graphologists engaged in controversies regarding their inconsistent analyses of my handwriting. It was they who divided opinions, overheated the polemic, and made nostalgia popular…. Make no mistake: peaceful madmen are ahead of the future." – Gabriel García Márquez
= "personne extraordinaire"