PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Ooh, snazzy. Bienvenidos a Las Vegas.
[Also: Where the fuh-? The googles tells you the address is 346 W 17th, but the entrance is really on 16th St, right next door to The Maritime.]
Please rate the Bar:
Pretty good. Also snazzy. The stools aren’t too comfortable, however, and the very frigid air conditioner blows right in your face. The lounge might be a better option; it’s spacious, commodious, and those massive silver sofas are way more welcoming to your derriere. (There’s another bar upstairs by the pool, but it’s standing room only. And the tables are "for guests of the hotel only," wink wink.)
The bartenders are amiable enough and perfectly proficient (read: Better than Lavo).
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Typical, pretty much what you’d expect— except for maybe the price, which is decidedly un-Strategic Group in its noteworthy reasonable-ness. Recessions, what are they good for? Lower-priced booze, that’s what. Good robust glassware and healthy-ish portions.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s uh… snazzy. And big.
Please rate the BOH:
Better than you’d expect. I mean, granted, I don’t know much abot that Top Chef dude, but I don’t exactly eat at Avenue (or Tao or Lavo) if you get what I’m saying. Kinda expensive, though! Bring your corporate card— ya know, if your company still lets you do that sort of thing, that is.
How was the staff?
Haa, well, they’re very experienced/competent all right! You might catch a familiar face or two up in there…
And from what I gather, they like it here. A happy server is a pleasant server.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Yellowfin Tuna Tartare : Good. Fresh. Nice little twist on a classic.
Peekytoe Crabcakes : Very good. Tender and tasty. Nicely done.
Raw oysters : Excellent. Very fresh and expertly shucked. If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a butchered oyster. Impressive.
Carne Asada : Outstanding. Perfectly cooked, succulent, juicy, and flavorful. This "chef’s specialty" is a winner for sure.
Wild mushrooms : Great. Hearty and delicious. Pretty big portion too.
Creamed spinach : Mmm, delectable. Nothing wrong with this dish.
What did you like?
The food was good.
What did you dislike?
Well, overall, it’s not really my stilo. I’m sure the bankers and the steno pool (what’s left of them) love it, though.
What was your last impression?
Umm, I’m sorta surprised the hotel went with the circular motif on the facade? It almost looks like it’s just the newest attachment to the Maritime next door.
Would you come back?
Wellll, it’s not exactly in my neighborhood…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was yummy.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
OMG, did you feel that?! The earth moved, the walls trembled, the chandeliers swayed… it was an earthquake! Here, in New York City! Wow.
We mean, on the one hand, it’s a little scary. On the other, it’s a relief, because we thought maybe we were going crazy— we looked out the window, and nobody out on the street even seemed to notice a thing. And on the third hand (just roll with it), we thought maybe watching this first episode of Brosephs was JUST. THAT. GOOD. It rocked our world, literally!
Har har aharr. Ready for even more laughs?
Then watch it.
:)
Hilarious, wasn’t it? It was co-written by awesomely talented F&B superstar, Kevin Coyle. Does he, uhh— look familiar, by any chance? (Aside from his numerous big television commercials and whatnot, we mean.) Well, soon you’ll be seeing even more of him, so stay tuned. Yay!
** See also (earlier): Introducing: Brosephs
PX Me. (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
When Abbe Diaz published her journal, PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" [née Diary of the Potted Plant] in 2004, she’d had no idea what she was in for. Sure, she expected the process would be difficult and she might never work in the fine dining restaurant industry ever again, but she never imagined the truth could be so controversial— in a book that’s essentially about HAVING DINNER.
Despite PX This being lauded by most of her colleagues (and some of the most illustrious names in the business) as "the bible of the [NYC] industry," Diaz soon learned the politics of Food and/or "Culture" Media & PR is a game that’s dirtier than last night’s dishes. Finding herself under unjustified fire from various vastly popular and influential periodicals, news blogs, food press, online foodie communities, and other professional and aspiring writers, Diaz (a textbook Scorpio/Monkey) quickly realized [again] there were two things in her life she would never be willing to do: 1) Take unmerited bullshit, and 2) Kiss spiteful pretentious ass.
As you can probably imagine, that went over reeeally well. Mistruths, mudslinging, manipulation, misappropriation, corruption, censorship, and the tarnishing of her character— as well as the livelihoods of her friends and loved ones— are just some of the things she subsequently endured.
This is that story.
"This writing stuff is HARD." – Salman Rushdie (to friends on Facebook®)
"If you think the writing is hard, wait ’til you try the selling part. Oh, wait…" – Abbe Diaz (in response to friend, Salman Rushdie, on Facebook®)
PX Me – The Sequel to PX This
(How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous,
and Married a Millionaire)
- COMING SOON IN THE SPRING OF 2012 -
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Abbe Diaz is a freelance commercial-artist, designer/dressmaker, and restaurant consultant. She has worked in the restaurant/bar industry for nearly 25 years, with numerous stints throughout the New York dining/party scene that include: Limelight, Palladium, Tunnel, Club USA, Coffee Shop, Spy, Cafe Tabac, The Strand (Miami Beach), Mercer Kitchen, Ilo, Lotus, and Theo. She served as the opening maître d’ for The Park, Smith, and 66.
She is proud to have had the opportunity to work under such nightlife arbiters as: Jean-Georges Vongerichten, Brian McNally, Jonathan Morr, Peter Gatien, Eric Goode, and Sean Macpherson.
Diaz gained a B.A. in Economics from Rutgers College, Rutgers University – New Brunswick. She was further educated as a non-matriculate Design student at the Fashion Institute of Technology, in NYC, where she currently resides.
• “The New York service industry’s Norma Rae, Abbe Diaz… the Service Industry’s Nikke Finke…” – BlackBook
• “…pure unbridled crazy batshitness…” – gawker.com
For more information about PX This – Diary of the "Maître d’ to the Stars" visit http://pxthis.com/thebook
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a friend of theirs who’d visited Panarea the summer prior.
What was your first impression?
Ho-lee cow. Is this the most beautiful restaurant I’ve ever seen in my life? Could be.
Please rate the Bar:
It’s nice. Very hip. But quite frankly, to opt for the bar over the lounge and turn your back on these incredible views, you’d really have to be kind of out of your mind.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The wine list is decent, and more diverse than you’d expect in a rather remote place like this. But it’s really expensive, of course.
Sorry, forgot to note anything about the cocktails, but I’m sure they’re expensive too. But what was it I’d said about the place in Salina with the other amazing view? Oh right, "with an ambience like this, I might very well have been quite happy drinking hooch and Boone’s Farm." Yea, that.
Please rate the Dining Room:
There are a few, and they’re all gorgeous, but closest to the fresh air is best. (After the sun goes down though, the view ceases to matter as much; it’s nothing but pitch out there.)
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Far better than I’d expected, cuz the gratutitous lounge snacks really sucked. They should really rethink those— they’d fare much better with simple nuts and crackers than the bad crostini, the breadsticks that go stale, and the sad wilted fruit on a skewer. Less prep time, too. (Oh crap, I hate when I give out too much free advice, dammit!)
The food in the dining room’s good though, but really really expensive (€35.00 for an appetizer, hello). Plus they seem to run out of the more popular items pretty quickly.
How was the staff?
Great. They were very sweet and accommodating. Ha ha haa, you won’t even believe it, but our waitress used to work here in New York City— for a restaurateur in our party. How CRAZY is that.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Amberjack fresh from the sea : Delicious, perfect. Better than Blue Ribbon, which is a good thing cuz it’s double the price of Blue Ribbon, too. I mean, yes, that’s the sea yonder a stone’s-throw away, but oh forget it never mind. (By the way, I’d originally wanted the lobster and avocado— yah, at €35— but they were 86ed. Just sayin.)
Grilled squid : Decent. Could have been just a tad more tender, but fresh and tasty.
Pasta (with melanzane e funghi, was it? I forget now) : It was okay. But shut up, who cares? Come on, you can get food anywhere…
Biscotti e malvasia : This is my favorite new thing. How am I going to live without Malvasia now?
Nobody else let me try their dishes : Can you believe it. Maybe they figured the food’s so expensive, they’d better hoard every last bite.
What did you like?
This place is like paradise.
What did you dislike?
That it’s so far away from home :(
What was your last impression?
Seriously, how fucking cool am I right now. I’m not even sure how I got here.
Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
‘Piacere. Buona giornata, grazie e arrivederci.
More photographs of Panarea, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a concierge at the Grand Hotel Timeo in Taormina, Sicily (and again by a taxicab driver in Malfa, Salina).
What was your first impression?
Cute. Love it.
Please rate the Bar:
Come to think of it, I’m not finding many bars in Italy at all— do they have such a thing? Cuz I mean like technically, if you go to Ristorante Alfredo in Cucina, then the entire Da Alfredo (in the front) is actually considered their "bar."
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Uh, N/A? From what I gather, wine and spirits just aint the thing around here. When people come to Alfredo, they drink granite, period end of story. And I must admit, that stuff is gooood.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Oh it’s pretty cramped and haphazard and sorta butt-assed ugly. But who the heck cares, when you have that view.
Please rate the BOH:
It’s perfectly decent at making their specialty, which is pane cunzato. But again, I get the distinct impression it’s the granite that really matters.
How was the staff?
Proficient and amiable. What more do you need?
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Pane Cunzato con tonno : Good. Nice fresh tasty ingredients, but personally I find the pane part a wee too rustic (i.e. thick). Like I mean for example, if a chef decided to make this dish in New York, it’d probably be with a much finer more delicate "crust," and then that‘d be the ticket.
Pane Cunzato con ricotta infornata : Yea, see above.
Pane Cunzato con melanzane : Eh, probably my least favorite.
Pane Cunzato con pomodoro e acciughe : Pretty good, hearty flavors.
Pane Cunzato con mozzarella e pomodoro : Nice and simple. I like this one best of all.
Almond, chocolate, white fig, peach, strawberry, and cafe granite : All pretty damned yummy, with the white fig, almond, and peach (in that order) being the greatest standouts. So fresh and unadulterated. But the cafe granita was the least appealing.
What did you like?
Mmmm… graniiita…
What did you dislike?
Oi, too much bread, I can’t breathe.
What was your last impression?
Seriously, how fucking cool am I right now. I’m not even sure how I got here.
Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
‘Piacere. Buona giornata, grazie e arrivederci.
More photographs of Da Alfredo, Salina-Lingua, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Actually, my hosts chose it; I think it came highly recommended to them by a friend who’d visited the Aeolian Islands the summer prior.
What was your first impression?
Wow. Holy cow.
Please rate the Bar:
N/A? If there’s a bar, I didn’t see one. But they do have an extraordinary outdoor patio/lounge overlooking the Tyrrhenian Sea that’s "for drinks and dessert only." In which case, who needs an effin bar?
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Opted for wine (a Chardonnay I didn’t choose, which was very good) so I have no idea about the cocktails, sorry. But quite frankly, with an ambience like this, I might very well have been quite happy drinking hooch and Boone’s Farm, I’m not sure.
Oh okay, on a more serious note, my friend’s Campari and soda looked appealing, respectable, and refreshing— and it had a beautiful fresh orange slice in it. So I’m willing to bet the majority of their cocktails really don’t suck at all.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Beautiful. Rustic yet incredibly elegant. And again, that view…
Please rate the BOH:
Outstanding. Really truly excellent, no exaggeration.
As a person of my — ahem — "noted" expertise, I am often asked where I’ve had the most phenomenal dining experience. Well, now I finally have an answer I needn’t think that hard about nor elaborate with justifications and explanations. Ha ha ha ahah, I can’t wait to tell the next person that inquires that one of my favoritest restaurants everrr is in Malfa on Salina the Aeolian Island in the Tyrrhenian Sea just off the coast of Sicily ("you muuust go by boat, dahling"). It sounds even more awesomely pretentious than "al Moro in Rome."
How was the staff?
Wonderful. Very congenial and accommodating, especially considering we arrived without a reservation (it soon became much more crowded than the photos would suggest).
In all honesty, the waiter seemed a bit agitated at first when he mistakenly thought our (large-ish) party was going to skip appetizers, but he got a lot more amicable when the food and wine orders started rolling in heartily.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Raw fish ("cruditá") fresh from the sea : Amazing. Without a doubt the best I’ve had in my whole entire life. The shrimp especially was of a buttery texture and flavor that’s damned near indescribable. I am not kidding when I say I feel like I’ve had some kind of crudo epiphany. If seafood is shipped in from eh-nee-where, it will never ever ever ever EVER taste like this.
Grilled octopus : You know that pretty general perception that if an octopus is fully grown or older or whatever (as opposed to the cute whole little babies), then it’s inevitably going to be a bit firm (i.e. "tough," i.e. "chewy")? Well, that’s a straight-up LIE, evidently. Cuz this one was as tender, succulent, and tasty as a cute little baby octopus’s ass. So now that’s two epiphanies.
Some kind of tiny ravioli-like pasta, the name of which I can’t recall, with something "pork ragu" and fresh tomato : Omylord, so delicious. And I really looove how the portion size was just exactly perfect and sufficient (for a late-night pasta dinner the evening before you have to don a bikini early the very next day). This is how Italians (in Italy) stay so slim.
Panna cotta : Oi. I’m generally not a dessert person, but I ate the whole thing. Just the right amount of dolce with a consistency like gelatinous air.
Biscotti and Malvasia : Somebody call my moms cuz I musta died and gone to heaven.
What did you like?
Are you kidding?
What did you dislike?
It’s a helluva trip to get back here.
What was your last impression?
Can this place possibly really exist?
Would you come back?
Oh please please please please please gawd pleeeease….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Buona notte, grazie mille. Che bellissima sorpresa.
More photographs of Signum, Salina-Malfa, and/or the rest of Isole Eolie are at abbediaz.com
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (Spring 2012), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
= "personne extraordinaire"