PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
Vine Street Cafe (Shelter Island)
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
A two-time Manhattan restaurateur (and local resident) recommended it as "the best of four decent restaurants on Shelter Island." So there you have it.
What was your first impression?
Cute. Very beach-towny all right. And: damn, it’s crowded.
Please rate the Bar:
OK. On the smallish side; not quite so accommodating and pretty cramped. The bartenders are rather harried subsequently.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
No idea. It’s so busy in here, I can’t be dicked to ask/wait for a cocktail and/or wine list. "I’ll take a bottle of… uh… riesling? Cool."
Please rate the Dining Room:
Seems large? There appear to be several different rooms, but again, not the type of place to take an unguided tour if you’re not trying to get smacked upside the head with a serving tray. Also, diners generally appreciate not having errant asses near their faces while they’re eating.
Please rate the BOH:
Pretty good. Fine, rather eclectic menu, if not exactly adventurous. My host has one suggestion, though: "Steer clear of the pasta dishes, but the fish and meat are great."
How was the staff?
Eh. But you know, these places usually have seasonal "temps," so there goes the job-longevity incentive. To be fair, the order came out correctly, and nothing got spilled?
Oh and here’s a tip: the steak comes with fries, so don’t bother ordering a side of it. You’re welcome— cuz lord knows your waiter wasn’t about to clue you in on that one.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Ahi tuna sashimi : Very good, fresh, tasty. Generous portions.
Crispy calamari salad : Decent. Flavorful, nice crisp calamari for good contrasting textures. Granted, it’s hardly mind-blowing, but come on now.
Rainbow "ceviche" : It’s in "quotes" cuz it’s not really traditional ceviche, you see. Odd "market" mishmosh of fishes, but whatever. It’s fine.
Miso-glazed salmon : Fresh, tender, and succulent. Boo, it’s a wee more medium than the medium-rare "the chef recommends," but yay, the miso glaze is pretty delicious.
NY strip steak : Fine. Perfectly cooked. And the fries are good. All three orders of them.
Grilled asparagus : Very good. Farm fresh and well-prepared.
What did you like?
The food’s pretty good.
What did you dislike?
Oh who cares? It’s a beautiful summer weekend on Shelter Island.
What was your last impression?
Yay, it’s a beautiful summer weekend on Shelter Island!
Would you come back?
Sure.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, and have a good night.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
Two friends from the industry recommended it. Women, no less— who are not even into sports. They’re very discerning; they’ve tried nearly every restaurant in their (West Village) neighborhood. (One works for Gottino, the other for Jeffrey’s Grocery.)
What was your first impression?
I’ve seen this space in nearly every carnation it’s been the last decade or so, and the layout never changes much. This one is no exception. I think they kept Charles’s wallpaper.
Please rate the Bar:
Same ole. Still pretty small. Still not so comfortable nor particularly accommodating.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The ambience doesn’t exactly inspire a wine hankering, so I totally forgot to even look at the list. Oopsie! Sorry. Also, I got so intrigued by the Happy Hour 1/2 priced cocktails, I forgot to look at the beer list too. OK, shoot me, sheesh!
Out of about a half-dozen (fairly-classic-with-a-bit-of-a-twist) selections, I opted for the margarita-esque one and the punchy vodka one. And they weren’t bad. The punchy one is very sweet, though.
Please rate the Dining Room:
The banquettes are nice and cozy. The rest of it is a wee haphazard and just a tad cramped.
Please rate the BOH:
Better than you’d expect. (Those women were right!)
Reminds me very much of chef Ian Russo‘s old work at Thunder Jackson’s. Actually, I meant to ask the waitress who’s the chef, but then I forgot (I was busy enjoying the burger!).
How was the staff?
Ovarall, satisfactory. Except the busboy; he was exceptionally conscientious.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Fried peperoncini : Wow, different. Battered and fried pickled peppers; very smart bar food, all right. Careful though— you know that vinegary fluid that often gets trapped inside the peppers when you pull them out of the jar? Well, evidently, when that stuff gets deep-fried, it becomes really hot (as in temperature, not spiciness). And it retains that heat a good long while. Don’t burn yourself [quite frankly, the whole thing is one little ole lady short a potentially painful lawsuit]. Personally, I loved them.
Tuna tartare : OK. Fresh and light, but just a bit of overkill on the soy sauce. Sort of disappointing; my friend from Jeffrey’s Grocery had raved about this dish.
Truffle grilled cheese : Decadent and delicious, but a little more gooey cheese would really have made this sandwich lay-awake-at-night crave-worthy.
Burger with Monterey Jack : Ohh, yeah. You know that way overhyped supposedly just-like-your-backyard Shake Shack burger on the squishy grocery bun? Well, this is what it’s supposed to taste like. Ya know, like if they used fresh red onions, non-anemic tomatoes, and actually cooked it properly at your desired temperature. Minus the irritating 45-minute wait in the blistering summer sun, that is.
Red velvet cake in a glass : Eh. Skip it. Way too much (and kind of bland) frosting; dry, boring, cake smushed in between.
What did you like?
The food’s pretty good.
What did you dislike?
Sports? Rilly?
What was your last impression?
Oh damn, I forgot to ask about the (consulting?) chef. Ah well, next time.
Would you come back?
I think so.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was delicious.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
I must admit, despite Cafe Gitane being a downtown institution, I’ve never had a meal here. I’ve dropped by, met friends, picked up friends, had drinks, and have even loitered at an outdoor table with a paper, a cigarette, and a cup of cafe creme— but never have I actually breakfasted, lunched, or dined.
Well, today I’m in the neighborhood, and my guest and I are hungry…
What was your first impression?
Ah, same ole Gitane…
Please rate the Bar:
Kinda N/A; it’s more like a lunch counter.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Beer and wine only, and a pretty sparse (but discerning enough) selection at that. Reasonably priced— but of course, that’s why it’s an institution.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s fine. Distinctly European, no frills, a wee kitschy, and maybe a tad cramped. Apparently, the hipsters dig it.
Please rate the BOH:
Good. Just the (Mediterranean) basics mostly, but artfully executed and well prepared.
How was the staff?
Okay. Cute and kind of jaded, but proficient enough. I mean, what were you expecting exactly?
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Spicy olives and oranges : Nice. Nicely balanced contrast between the spice, salty olives, and sweet fresh orange slices.
Baked feta : Good. Robust. Intense; not for salt-haters.
Smoked trout salad : Love it. Light but hearty and flavorful. Great texures. Huge.
Smoked chicken on cranberry-nut bread : Very good. Ripe mango and arugula add a noteworthy zest.
What did you like?
That’s it’s still going strong after all this time.
What did you dislike?
Am I getting older and more curmudgeonly, or are the hipsters getting uglier and more pretentious?
What was your last impression?
I’m stuffed.
Would you come back?
Sure, in probably another decade or so…
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks! Have a nice day!
Hello there! Aww, thanks so much for the lovely messages asking about the movie recommendations! And here I thought you just didn’t love me {sniffle}.
Speaking of love, have you ever had your heart broken? Don’t be afraid to admit it, of course you have. Well! Have you ever imagined it might have been intentional? Like, a conspiracy even? That would explain everything, right? After all, who would be stupid enough to dump you?!
There’s even a film about it! This fascinating documentary gut-wrenching real-life drama hilarious comedy will have you contemplating all your past relationships; you’ll be amazed at the blatant similarities between this movie and that time you really fell hard for that totally smoking guy that you really didn’t know that well but knew instantly he was your soulmate and you’d been destined to be together forever and you moved all your stuff into his apartment within weeks of meeting and started planning your gorgeous wedding and had all your future kids’ names picked out and then not long after couldn’t figure out why suddenly out of the blue he said he needed space and he packed all your stuff in a box and shipped it to your old roommate and defriended you on Facebook and claimed to never have received any of your voicemails or text messages or the fresh-baked cookies you left on his doorstep…
Oh! Ahem sorry, got carried away for a second there. Y’know— hypothetically speaking, I mean.
Anyhoo, watch Heartbreaker! Even if, like me, you’re some kind of anomolous freak and you simply can’t relate at all to ever having you heart broken, you will so love this movie. Fer shur. I did!
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
It was recommended by a friend whose opinion I value highly.
What was your first impression?
Oh wow, it really is tiny!
Please rate the Bar:
N/A. This place could very well be classified as a glorified takeout joint. There are maybe 18 or 19 seats in the whole place, which is actually kind of astounding considering how very small it is.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
They only have a few wine selections and not much else. They’re not bad— decent, drinkable and reasonably priced.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Like I said, impressive for what it is. But be prepared to share your conversation with your neighbors. Better yet, see if you can score the lone outdoor deuce; the view up and down Houston St can be pretty entertaining in that fishbowl kind of way.
Please rate the BOH:
Solid. Pizza, some pasta, a few salads and a random special entree here and there. Nothing too fancy, but it’s certainly no Famiglia’s, ha ha ha.
How was the staff?
She’s great. She works really hard.
:)
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Tricolore salad : Nice. Simple but fresh and flavorful.
Pollanca salad : Wow, a meal in itself. The white raisins add a touch of sweetness, but it’s pretty hearty nonetheless. Great summer dish.
Squid ink linguine with shrimp : Very good. Just a touch of spice. So piping hot, the pasta is cooking the shrimp in front of me; next time I’ll ask for the shrimp very rare.
Homemade spaghetti with bolognese sauce : Good! Straightforward and artless, but tasty and perfectly stick-to-your-ribs satisfying.
Piccante pizza : Ohhh yeah, that’s the stuff right there. Great crisp and thin but bubbly crust. Quality ingredients— just plain yummy.
What did you like?
I admire the lack of pretension despite all its charm.
What did you dislike?
Nothing really. Oh OK, the bathroom is claustrophobic.
What was your last impression?
Sooo… Houston St is the new restaurant row?
Would you come back?
Actually, I already have.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it’s a pleasure.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
OK, let’s face it— MeKong is a downtown institution. I know lots and lots of people who make MeKong their home away from home, from way back when it was still at its original location on Prince St in NoLita (even before NoLita bcame so hip and commercial). It was just a matter of time before I made it (back) here.
What was your first impression?
Ah, same ole MeKong. The vibe and the crowd, I mean.
Please rate the Bar:
Not quite as big as the original, but still sizeable and accommodating. Just a simple, no fuss no muss watering hole. Please don’t feed the denizens (they don’t bite, but sometimes they drool a little).
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
For such a down-home kind of Asian restaurant, they’re pretty solidly stocked on the booze. Good reasonable prices (as usual). Personally, I opted for the $38 bottle of Les Domaniers by Domaine Ott rosé. (See what I mean?)
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s big. And cozy enough. But, come on— everybody knows the sidewalk is where it’s at.
Please rate the BOH:
Solid and consistent after all these decades. Just good no-frills Vietnamese home cooking. Admittedly, some dishes fare better than others; you’ll just have to come often enough (like most of their patrons) to pick your faves, and then stick with those.
How was the staff?
Surprisingly conscientious, actually. Friendly, adept, and unpretentious— what more do you need?
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Chicken salad : Light, fresh, and summery with nice spicy bite and a hearty vinegary twang. Delicious.
Shrimp rolls : Very good. Crisp and tasty.
Filet mignon au beurre : Excellent. Tender and succulent. A great satisfying dish.
Chicken pad thai : Classic. Huge! (Share it.)
Soft shell crab : Very good. Batter-dipped and fried, but not greasy. Nice quality.
Sauteed spinach : Just slightly more cooked than I would have preferred, but good. Also maybe a tad salty for some tastes, but I liked it.
What did you like?
♪ ♪ Memmmorrriiieeess….. ♪ ♪
What did you dislike?
Well OK, the outdoor metal tables and chairs are a little ghetto… but maybe that adds to the charm.
What was your last impression?
Oh look, it’s Famke Janssen.
Would you come back?
Siempre, mang, siempre.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, Brian— It’s great to see you. You’re a legend, dude.
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
It came very highly recommended by a friend of the owners.
What was your first impression?
It’s cute. Cozy. Very Austrian all right.
Please rate the Bar:
It’s a bit cramped. Not the most accommodating of bars, but it’s nice. The bartender is proficient and knowledgeable, if not exactly amiable.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The hard stuff is N/A; beer and wine only. The selection is decent and relatively diverse, with most of the options hailing from the German/Austrian region. The prices are pretty reasonable, but I can see, in this neighborhood, how they might raise an eyebrow or two.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Charming, quaint, and rustic, but elegant. Smart and efficient use of the rather spare square footage. Very welcoming.
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Small and simple but deftly executed menu.
How was the staff?
Eh. Having visited several times already, my overall impression is that they need to get over themselves a bit. Sure, the place may be consistently busy— but it’s the LES, and they just ain’t that fabulous. They could use a little attitude adjustment.
Like for example, during one visit I was honored to have Wolfgang Ban stop for a chat at my table wherein he informed they were planning a "late night service." So not long afterward I did drop by for a very late dinner only to be rebuffed upon inquiry with the words, "Who told you that?" After they begrudgingly alighted from their comfortable perches atop the bar, that is.
So y’know— you’re either casual and breezy or haughty and pompous; which is it? Because you just can’t be both, sorry.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
White Tuna Crudo : Very good. Fresh, light, and tasty.
Landjäger : Nice, robust. Hey, who doesn’t love a fancy Slim Jim?
Baby back ribs : Excellent. Fall-off-the-bone tender.
Spätzle : Absolutely delicious. Creamy, flavorful, multi-textural. I practically licked the plate.
Slow-poached Farm Eggs : Good. Hearty and satisfying.
Wiener Schnitzel : Perfect. Classic straightforward presentation done exceptionally well.
Sauteed spinach : Very nice. Just good solid food.
What did you like?
Pretty much everything, but I must say that spätzle knocks my socks off every time.
What did you dislike?
Well, I’ve definitely had Austrian service warmer than this.
What was your last impression?
Should I grab another spätzle to go…?
Would you come back?
Already have.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, love it.
Earthquake – Petite Sirah 2006 – Lodi, California
Cost: $23.99/Bottle
This is pure, dark, opaque-purple, full-bodied, velvety smooth and rich, layered to be exact as it coats the palate with its creamy milky texture. The aromatics from initial opening (and for about 30 minutes) is phenomenal; its roasted coffee, caramel, and cocoa seduces you, transforming toward its black cherry and blackberry core, all the while offering hints of pure vanilla and coffee. Very full flavors where black cherry, cocoa and vanilla reigns supreme. An uncommon bottle with great appeal that is well-priced for the masses. Well bought indeed.
Rating: 94
= "personne extraordinaire"