G’Night, Australia!
Thank you so much! It was really a lot of fun.
(For more of a behind-the-scenes look at the live-via-satellite appearance of PX This on Australia’s The Morning Show with Larry Emdur and Kylie Gillies— you know where to go…)
G’day Australia!
Currently, PX This is only available for purchase via Amazon, Amazon Kindle, and Amazon UK. Regrettably, PX This is still currently not available throughout other countries.
Therefore, in anticipation of Abbe Diaz’s upcoming appearance on Australia’s The Morning Show, we are happy to re-instate our original "limited time only" offer of PX This – The Revised Edition as a FREE (.pdf) e-book.
Please click here for FREE online reading and/or download. Unfortunately, the PDF will not allow for font, typeface, size, and/or format changes generally permissible on most e-reader devices. We apologize for the inconvenience, and offer the PDF version of PX This completely complimentary.
This is a LIMITED TIME OFFER. So get your FREE e-book of PX This – The Revised Edition NOW!
PX Me – The Sequel to PX This (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire)
COMING SOON IN THE SUMMER OF 2011
Let’s try this again!
According to some emails, mobile texts, and Facebook messages, it would appear that several regular PX This visitors completely missed the memo. So here’s the revised edition:
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week). Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at:
[Full details are located here.]
Thank you!
Coming Soon: PX Me – The Sequel to PX This [How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire]
hi,
before anything else, i would just like to say thank you to everybody for all your continuing encouragement and support, i really appreciate it.
the next thing i guess i should do is clarify about the books, since i know there are a lot of new people here from the Daily News article and whatnot, looking for more information or elaboration. thank you for your interest!
from what i gather, some news/gossip outlets got it wrong; PX This (the book) actually came before PX This (the blahg), not vice versa.
also, if you want the stories mentioning the celebrities or whatever, that stuff is actually mostly in PX This (the book), and less here in the blahg or in PX Me (as was reported).
my next book, PX Me (How I Became a Published Author, Got Micro-Famous, and Married a Millionaire) is technically a sequel to PX This, and will chronicle the things that have happened since the first book was published. obviously, if you’ve read the first book, you’ll have a more profound understanding of the second.
but if you’ve never read PX This (and/or don’t intend to), that’s okay too— i sorta anticipate your interest in PX Me will stem from your curiosity about how to publish a book and possibly all the rest of it offered in the subtitle. that’s fine, that’ll work.
in any case, if you’re still reading this letter, wow i’m so grateful, that must mean you’re really intrigued. likely, you’re one of this blog’s regular readers (as opposed to the many inquisitive seekers led down this path by the google gods) and to you goes my deepest gratitude.
you know me well by now, better even than some of my closest friends (seriously! but more of that later, in PX Me). some of you (and you knooow who you are) have asked about "the fashion" — "where’s the fashion? what about the fashion? how come there’s no fashion?" — since clearly you’re well aware that PX This (the book) was, ironically, more about fashion than it ever was about restaurants, but it just so happens the dining-loving "audience" caught onto the book first.
you smart cookies, you.
well. incidentally, now is the time for me to really hunker down and get to the final editing of PX Me. as you’re perhaps aware, it’s been delayed several seasons already.
although this blog has a number of great contributors and exponents, they, as you’ve probably surmised, all still maintain full-time jobs within the F&B industry. and unfortunately, there’s simply no way i personally can edit this blog every day and also write my next book— it’s not just the amount of time involved, but also: trying to switch my brain from one type of writing to another every day is just too hard for me. sorry!
i’ve wracked my noggin for a solution and voilà! you, my beloved homies, inspired the bestest one. so, NOW you finally get "the fashion." hooray!
for the next several months while i work on PX Me, PX This (the blahg) will be updated less frequently, only about once or twice a week. hopefully that will amply satiate the restaurant-lovers and the scrutinizing googlies.
in the meantime, my daily blogging will consist mostly of photos— of— you got it. "the fashion." that way i can maintain my "brand’s momentum" (that’s book-marketing jargon, see) but still not have to switch my brain back and forth every day.
if you’re the type of visitor who comes for a daily "fix" of PX This and would like to take a gander at what comes next, please adjust your bookmarks and follow the white rabbit. you won’t have to visit two websites to stay informed of PX This, because i will gladly alert you every time it’s updated and offer up a handy hyperlink ladder from down in the rabbit hole.
are you ready? blue pill or red pill? if you want substance, well— i try. sometimes.
but if you want style— wooo child, have i got you covered.
here we go. please click here –> http://abbediaz.com
thank you so much again.
xoxo,
abbe
p.s. the "style blog" is currently in the process of being fully updated. hopefully by the time you see this, it will all be caught up to the present day.
hey, did you happen to see The Daily News this morning?
awesome, isn’t it?
well, if you happened to see the thingie on Hamptons.com the other day too, i just wanted to point out that my full statement was actually:
"Oh geez, why does it always boil down to Gwyneth Paltrow? …I’m far more fascinated by the logistics and implications of a multi-billion dollar food-and-beverage-as-entertainment industry that literally hoodwinks and exploits its most devoted followers and passionate patrons, not to mention what it does to its dedicated laborers. Or maybe the burgeoning self-sufficient sustainability of creative careers, what with the proliferation of personal technology and the Internet and all. Or even just plain life as comedy in general. But with this pervasive victory of triviality over substance, every time people mention my name, it’s stupid Gwyneth Paltrow. Can we move on already? Oh, no? Okay, then. Yes it’s true. Gwyneth Paltrow is a total creepface."
ha ha ha ahahaa. i’m just sayin.
thank you, Daily News! yay me!
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at: abbediaz.com
Thank you, Hamptons.com!
Damn, now that’s one of the bestest, intuitivest, most comprehensivest things about myself I’ve ever read. (Except maybe the title. But whatever!)
Thank you!
"Celebrities Stink (Mostly): Maître D To The Stars Names Names" – Hamptons.com
Ladies and Gentlemen, May We Have Your Attention
Christian Alexander‘s gatherings may have been heating up The Mulberry Project for the past couple weeks or so, but things are about to get even hotter. And we maybe don’t exactly mean that in a good way.
Now that its opening has been officially announced, chances are likely the diminutive venue will now be in far greater demand. This has the neighbors worried. According to sources who live nearby, the former establishment located within the space "practically closed itself," when persistent complaints from the area’s residents, about the noise emanating from the rear garden, had the city’s building departments incessantly breathing down its neck.
Here’s a valuable word of advice: If it’s very late at night (or rather, early in the morning) and you don’t see the doorman poised at the basement entrance of 149 Mulberry St, do the place a favor and just keep walking. Do not harass the neighbors, do not disturb the local shops/shopkeepers, and certainly do not go around ringing random buzzers or screaming into the void.
You’re not getting in. Let it go— that is, if you want the joint to survive long enough for you to try another day. Frustrated homebodies say they "don’t want to be enemies," but are losing patience quickly. Please consider this "fair warning."
This has been a PX This PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at:
We’re sure the tantalizing trailer for "My Brother Nancy" wasn’t enough to satiate your immense appetite for the totally awesome fantastic-ness that is Michele Brilliant. Don’t worry! We got more. (And it also includes a healthy dose of supermodel Jenny Shimizu! Yay!)
Check it out. You know you want to.
You’re welcome!
:)
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Huh. Well… it’s certainly no Juliet, ha ha ahaa.
Please rate the Bar:
Nice. Big, welcoming, commodious.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
They’re still in soft-open mode, so they haven’t quite settled in yet. But they have Belvedere! And fat juicy olives. What more do you need?
Oh but, my certified-sommelier friend hated her sauvignon blanc by the glass, so hopefully they’re working on that. I’m just sayin’.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Larger than you’d expect. There’s actually an anteroom, then a dining room, then a private dining room (seats about 20), then apparently another private private dining room beyond the first private dining room (still in the works).
Please rate the BOH:
Good. Simple but straightforward gastropubby type menu. Appetizers and entrees for now— bar menu, daily specials, and dessert "coming soon."
How was the staff?
Decent. Proficient and conscientious, but with just a dash of ennui. Ya know, hip and confident— imported from downtown.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Artichoke dip : Very good. Rich and delicious. A+
Burger : Top-notch. Perfectly cooked, hearty, juicy, and flavorful. Great presentation. Excellent fries (Sysco?).
Fish and Chips : Tasty. Crisp but fluffy. Not too greasy. Perfect portion. Same great fries.
Steamed mussels : Tender and succulent, but why such a congested little bowl? More broth, please!
Chicken wings : Eh, okay. Typical "buffalo" style. Sorry, but once you go Korean, there’s no coming back. (Generous serving, though.)
What did you like?
That dip was pretty slammin.
What did you dislike?
Nothing really. Oh wait sorry, my friend really did not like that wine.
What was your last impression?
Ha haa, seriously— I’m kinda curious what the story is here. Anyone who knows Artan Gjoni (and that’s just about everyone who’s anyone, yea?) knows that boy is impossible to talk to.
Would you come back?
Even though it’s kinda out of the way… probably.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, Artan! It was nice seeing you too.
* * * * *
For more on Artan Gjoni, read PX Me – The Sequel to PX This. Coming soon in the Summer of 2011.
* * * * *
Have you heard?
Until the release of PX Me (Summer 2011), this website will henceforth be updated only intermittently (approximately once or twice a week).
Abbe Diaz’s new (daily) blog is now at:
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
I dunno; it was around the holidays, it was snowing, New York felt Christmas-y… lunch at The Plaza just seemed oddly appropriate.
What was your first impression?
Geezus, where the fuck is this place? (In the basement— just roam around until you finally find it.)
Please rate the Bar:
Uh, N/A? It’s kinda all a "bar." Without the self-seating. Yea, even the actual bar bar (where the liquor is located) is host-seating only.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Opted for a Sauvignon Blanc recommended by the waiter, and it was good. Didn’t actually see the list though, he presented it by memory. But later when the check arrived, I was pleasantly surprised to find the wine was priced pretty reasonably at $12 per glass.
And oops hmm, come to think of it now, I’m not even entirely sure if they have a full ABC license. Sorry!
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s… different. It’s a bit odd and not particularly welcoming or comfortable, but for them it’s a smart decision and likely works efficaciously. All seats are stool-height and everything is communal.
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Better than I expected. Not exactly a raging Todd English fan here.
Great diversity— very impressive. Adventurous and creative but still simple and straightforward. However, the delivery system is consequently a bit messed up, what with the menu items coming from separate "kitchens" and whatnot. The dishes arrive sporadically, so be prepared to "share" everything or you may be left eyeing your companion’s dish longingly while you wait for your meal to arrive.
How was the staff?
The front desk is a bit harried and brusque, but the waiter was great.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Pork dumplings : Good. Big portion size. Love the (included) side of kimchee.
Pork ramen : Very delicious. And on a blistering wintry day like this, it really hits the spot.
Grilled pastrami : (See what I mean about diversity?) Quirky deconstructed presentation, but delicious. Too bad the special request of Swiss cheese on the side (not included— kosher, I guess) arrived after half the "sandwich" was already gone. The cheese comes from the cheese station, and the pastrami comes from the grill, you see.
What did you like?
Pretty much everything.
What did you dislike?
Wellll… you do feel sorta cramped…
What was your last impression?
What’s that in the "grocery" fridge? A jar of "Mother-in-law’s kimchee." Ha ha ahaa, hilarious. (Todd English has Yellow Fever, get it?)
Would you come back?
Sure.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was fun.
The Blabber in the Trenches
• Longtime operators Aymeric Clemente and Remi Laba have been ousted from Bagatelle, Kiss & Fly, and RDV. Apparently ejected on the night before Christmas, the duo, despite their partnership agreement and impressive track record (earnings at Bagatelle are estimated in the $8M per year range), have been summarily dismissed without warning or justification. The two are expected to pursue legal recourse.
Bagatelle, Kiss & Fly, and RDV are not affiliated with their other undertakings, Villa Pacri and La Petite Maison.
• Legendary F&B Superstar Artan Gjoni‘s new venture is in soft-open mode. Albert Hall Tavern is located at 508 9th Ave between 38th and 39th Streets. Tell ‘im we sent you. Ha ha haa, no actually—- don’t.
• Chronic cool dude and nightlife impresario Armin Amiri is slated to open his new enterprise someplace "in Chinatown." We’d tell you where, but then we’d have to kill you. (Stay tuned.)
• Which newest enterprise is the top contender for the industry’s famous and sagacious Dead In Eight [months] award? News is already trickling in from "Friends & Family," and the forecast isn’t pretty. (Don’t quit your day job.) Place your bets!
PX This presents THE "WORD OF MOUTH" REVIEW
We’re actually getting kinda sick of new restaurants; it’s a bit tedious pointing out the same types of flaws over and over and over again and ultimately being disappointed more often than impressed. (Here’s a novel idea: why don’t you try working to improve the shitty restaurant you already have, rather than opening a new one every nine months, you greedy egomaniacal bastard?) But hey, maybe that’s just us.
Anyhoo! It’s so nice to see you! We hadn’t planned on visiting your place, probably like— ever— but the "word of mouth" on this joint has been pretty outstanding. So, ya know— we’re intrigued. We’re hoping that good "word of mouth" is all genuine, and we can get us some of that good in our mouth. Word.
What’s that? You’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you’re hoping we’ll like it and help spread the news, since you fired your publicist long ago for not doing jack shit for you?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what obnoxious opinionated food-bloggers are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What exactly made you choose our restaurant?
I was craving sea urchin pasta, and yours is pretty famous.
What was your first impression?
Wow, it really is Japanese all right.
Please rate the Bar:
It’s okay. Kinda small and cramped, but that’s typically Asian. Asians tend to do their eating in one place and their drinking later, elsewhere, like in a bar/lounge/nightclub. They’ve never really fully grasped the concept of dining and imbibing all in the same place.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Oh shoot, come to think of it, is there even a full ABC license here? I don’t remember. Opted for wine— and the list is brief and simple. Decent and reasonbly-priced if not particularly sagacious or adventurous.
Please rate the Dining Room:
I love the open kitchen, but the dining room is a bit austere.
Please rate the BOH:
Technically the BOH is in the FOH, and it’s very good. Not exceptionally creative, but solid and straightforward.
How was the staff?
Good. Polite, attentive, and proficient.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Bagna Cauda : Delicious. Excellent dipping sauce, rich and flavorful. Maybe one of the best I’ve ever had.
Caesar Salad : Nice. Fresh, tasty. Classic.
Spaghetti ai Ricci di Mare : Here we go, the famous sea urchin pasta. Maybe just a touch too al dente for my tastes, but otherwise quite satisfactory. Score.
Spaghetti con Prosciutto e Parmigiano : Cute presentation what with the big cheese wheel and whatnot. And very scrumptious. Hearty and luscious. Two for two.
What did you like?
I think maybe I liked the prosciutto/parmigiano even better than the sea urchin.
What did you dislike?
Well… it is kinda bright in here.
What was your last impression?
Wouldn’t it be awesome if every good restaurant could stay open 20+ whatever years?
Would you come back?
Absolutely.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thank you, it was a pleasure.
Hug Cellars – Cedar Lane Vineyard, Arroyo Seco Syrah 2005 – California
Cost: 21.99/Bottle
This full-bodied behemoth of a wine has an amazing nose of charred embers, smoked meat, cedar, and awesome blackberry pie notes with just a touch of peppery spice. The great velvety texture is to die for, and the wine just gets more aromatic over dinner. A beautiful rich wine that just seems to grow on you. It is amazing how ripe a syrah from California can be, yet even more enchanting is its lasting impression. Hug Cellars— I’m a believer; whenever I see Hug Cellars on a store shelf, I’m a buyer. This is the second label I’ve had of this wine, and they really have some great fruit and great wine-making coming out of their vineyard.
Rating: 93
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Swanky!
But I’m not surprised; I looove The Setai hotels.
Please rate the Bar:
Beautiful, welcoming, spacious, and comfortable. (There are actually two bars/lounges in The Setai—- one on the main floor and another on the second floor past Ai Fiori’s glass doors.)
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The cocktails list is creative and diverse, but on the main floor they have a bit of a recipe problem. On two separate occasions, two different bartenders altered their mixology to accommodate their own whims rather than supply the drinks as described. One bartender attempted to substitute Beefeater for the Beefeater 24 offered in the recipe printed on the list, and the other added framboise and cranberry juice for no apparent reason to a special house "margarita" recipe that stated simply two types of premium tequila and fresh lime juice. Very odd.
In any case, if you’re a truly discerning drinker, keep your eye on those shifty fuckers.
The upstairs bartender seems more fastidious, but unfortunately, he’s slow. The wait time for your drink is then compounded by the fact he’s also servicing the entire dining room as well as all the patrons seated at the bar. Good thing the seats are so cozy.
And the wine list is as you’d expect— ample, diverse, and sagacious, but reasonably priced, all things considered.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s big. And luxurious without being stifling. It does kinda make you wonder, however, why they slapped that ugly POS monitor up on the wall smack in the center of the room.
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Vaaastly better than Morini, I’ll tell you that much.
This is likely why Morini sucks—- homeboy is busy, mmkay?
How was the staff?
Extremely polite and quite conscientious. Superbly professional (except maybe the downstairs bartenders, obvs).
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Crudo : Good, fresh, simple, tasty.
Black Truffle Risotto : Very good, luscious, flavorful. Delicious.
Lobster : A bit too underdone for my taste, but otherwise lovely. Oh well, better underdone than overdone. But, personally I would have preferred a bit more succulence and a bit less translucence.
Rack of Lamb : Tender, perfectly cooked, hearty but delicate.
Oh damn, I can’t remember dessert now: Not much of one for the sweets, so dessert was either sent from the kitchen or it was ordered when I wasn’t paying attention. And honestly, I can’t recall what the dishes were (one was chocolate— very rich), but I do recollect they were quite good— and reminded me of pastry chef Patrick Coston. (I’m sure they weren’t his, though.) Sorry!
What did you like?
Hey, if The Setai installed itself a fancy KFC, I’d probably still love it to death.
What did you dislike?
Framboise? And tequila? Gagh.
What was your last impression?
So, now I finally know where the fuck Ai Fiori is.
Would you come back?
The full dining experience is a tad turgid for me, but I’ll gladly return to the bar/lounge anytime.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was a pleasure.
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
So, what do you do in the industry?
Oh, this and that.
And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About three or four.
What made you choose Vieques for this vacation?
Advertising! Ha ahaa, I wish I were kidding, but really I’m not.
We’ve been to a bunch of other Caribbean islands before and we totally love the convenience of the short flight durations. Well, this time we wanted to try something new, and so naturally Puerto Rico came to mind because of its advantageous location. Unfortunately, although a visit to (Old) San Juan seemed appealing, it isn’t exactly known for its awesome beaches, and also the notion of the Ritz Carlton as the typical New Yorkers’ Caribbean playground just seemed a bit tired and kinda played-out.
That sorta narrowed it down to Islas Vieques and Culebra. And I gotta admit, one gander at the new W Resort’s promotional video had me completely sold at pressing "play." Seriously— check that shit out and see if you’re not packing your bags before the 4:49 minutes are all wrapped up.
So, we planned our vacation in Vieques with a one-night stay in San Juan on our way back home.
And where did you stay?
The W Retreat & Spa on Vieques Island, and the San Juan Water & Beach Club ("The Water Club") in Isla Verde.
How were the ambience, service, and amenities, etc?
The W was pretty awesome. Beautiful, chic, and contemporary with a creative ambience and a hip, stylish crowd. The service was mostly excellent— attentive and conscientious but casual— and the food was great nine times out of ten. They’re right on point with a lot of special little details that other high-priced hotels tend to overlook. I really liked it a lot.
The Water Club was okay. It was recommended by a pretty savvy friend, and it was perfect for the one night, but I couldn’t imagine enjoying it for any longer than that. But, for people who want that groovy Ian Schrager ambience at Howard Johnson prices, it’s a very good choice. They sure got their funky goin’ on, but the rooms are small and the walls are thin. I would imagine it was quite the little hotspot when it first opened, but at this point it’s starting to look a tad worse for wear. They are currently renovating the "famous" rooftop pool/bar though, so maybe it’s aiming for a comeback or something.
Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Sigh, welllll… there was the New Years Eve debacle. I mean, yeah yeaahh, I get it— it’s New Years Eve, so that means it’s Hose the Clientele Night, right? The W’s "Alain Ducasse‘s" Mix on the Beach was already fully booked for dinner, so we got sold the "Burgers and Bubbles" poolside package at $125.00 person, which was supposedly "all you can eat" and "all you can drink." Well, the drinks ended up being mostly pre-made cocktail crap-garbage and even if you could manage to eat three burgers a piece, it’s hardly worth 125 bucks.
Which, ya know, might have been fine anyways, except I had specifically inquired "So there’s nothing available à la carte here this evening?" and the mutherfukking manager LIED to me. He straight-up told me "no, nothing" to my face, but in fact the Living Room bar was open as usual and functioning regularly with its condensed Mix on the Beach "bar menu." Granted, it wasn’t a full dinner menu, but it sure as hell beat pre-paid fucking $125 burgers. So, the fact that I could have had a good bottle of wine and nibbles of my choice for $250.00 instead, needless-to-say really pissed me off.
But the midnight fireworks show was nice.
Oh and the one night we did opt for the full dinner at Mix, it sucked. But it was January 2nd, so I guess the head chef took the night off, probably worn out from working the height of the season the whole time straight through. I say that because all the other meals we had at The W were wonderful, so the contrast of that dinner (and actually come to think of it, breakfast the following day too) was really quite evident. It was so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised if the dishwasher was the only one left in the kitchen cooking.
The only other thing I can think of is drinks at the San Juan Ritz Carlton pool bar. Sour mix in the margaritas— rilly? And ordering the Chips with Salsa and Guacamole was a big mistake. Most of the corn chips were dyed red and green (so corny— haa, corny, get it?) and on top of that ridiculous nonsense, they were stale. Plus the guacamole was awful and I didn’t even touch the salsa because it looked gray, I am not even kidding.
Dude, it’s supposed to be the fucking Ritz! Come on now.
Any great standout experiences?
The trip was fantastic overall.
Oh but I should also mention the cute little restaurant in Esperanza called Trade Winds, though. Just simple and rustic, but with really terrific food (and a nice, but very reasonably priced wine list). Evidently, their lobster is famous (and it was delicious!) and they had the best mofongo I’ve ever eaten in my life (apparently, not to be confused with Dominican mofongo, though).
Later in Old San Juan, this nice saleslady in a sunglasses store recommended this seafood restaurant called Aquaviva and it was fantastic. We’d asked for "a good place, not a tourist place," and so she told us about this one, plus another one called Parrot Club. She also mentioned a French restaurant the name of which I can’t recall now, it was something something Onze, which makes me think it was maybe Neuf Dix Onze (?) but I tried googling it and got nothing. If you happen to be in the area and want to give it a try, it’s right up Calle Fortaleza from both Aquaviva and Parrot Club.
How much did you blow all week?
The hotel (suite, ocean view) was about $5000 including taxes, resort fees, etc, but not including meals and incidentals. Airfare from JFK to/from San Juan was about $700 each (booked only two weeks in advance) and additional $240 each from San Juan to/from Vieques. Meals and drinks for two were I dunno, I guess $200 to $300 per day including gratuities.
= "personne extraordinaire"