PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Oh, how did I not realize it’s across the street from Tao? Competing with yourself— nice.
Please rate the Bar:
OK. Not very welcoming (there’s an odd nightclubesque dearth of seats) and small, considering. How/why there are three people squeezed back there is completely beyond me (the dining room has its own "service" bar in the back). It makes them look about as graceful as three rats in a breadbox.
It’s also very, uh… Las Vegas?
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
The cocktail list is decent, about a dozen classics with a just twist or two (Tanteo Jalapeño Tequila, e.g.) and priced on the higher side at $14 each. The wines by the glass are fine and fair if not particularly adventurous. Didn’t manage to get a look at the wines by the bottle, because they grabbed the list away so quickly (maybe they needed it for someone else), but I would bet it’s relatively typical. Carnac the Magnificent says: Expect a range of "safe" selections skewed toward the $50 and up range.
Please rate the Dining Room:
It’s actually pretty cramped for such a sizeable room. Way to wedge thoses asses in there!
Please rate the BOH:
Not bad. The menu looks pretty expensive until you’re informed the plates "are all meant for sharing." And yeah— the’re huge.
All the steakhouse basics with "traditional" Italian thrown in. It’s very, uh… Las Vegas.
How was the staff?
Our waitress was good. A lot more adept than her minidress and big hoop earrings insinuate. Everyone else is very, uh… Las Vegas?
(Can’t help but notice the three hatcheckers are the cutest girls in the place. I’m just sayin’.)
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Meatball with Whipped Ricotta : Good. Huge. Simple but succulent and tasty.
Tuna Tartare : Not bad. Also huge. Layered over avocado. Very reminiscent of uh… Las Vegas, actually. Decent quality but not extraordinary.
Eggplant Parmigiano : Whoa, it’s gigantic, enough for three people. Or maybe, ya know, two people from Las Vegas. Other than that, it’s… OK.
Sauteed Wild Mushrooms : Just a bit overcooked but flavorful enough. Anomalously, its portion size doesn’t quite live up to its $10 pricetag.
What did you like?
The meatball?
What did you dislike?
Umm, overall, it’s just not my… style?
What was your last impression?
This is sort of what I would have imagined Morandi would look like. Except with male bartenders.
Would you come back?
Wellll, I’ve only ever been to Tao once, and it’s right across the street.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, have a good night.
= "personne extraordinaire"