• Which "scoop" are we dying to disclose, but our Head Editor won’t let us (lest it alter the course of destiny)? Well, we’ll just sit back and wait for the story to play itself out. If history is any indication, it should be soon— and quite entertaining.
• Which law-breaking restaurateur is currently talking out of his ass? In a very thinly-veiled attempt at saving face (and business), he’s underplaying the severity of his organization’s latest situation. The simple, basic (and legal) truth is: they have far, far, far less options than they publicly assert. Despite ample precedents (and the law), some people never learn. But they soon will! The hard way.
• Which well-known restaurateur was so burned by a past endeavor, he’s currently "slave-driving" his newest chef? In spite of the chef’s resentment, however, relations remain ostensibly congenial. The chef isn’t willing to lose face any more than the restaurateur; job offers are slim out there. Just ask the predecessor.
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Wow, the hostesses (an army of them!) are really friendly.
And also: Huh, this is… different? Especially for this part of town.
Please rate the Bar:
Not bad. Spacious, clean, commodious. If I lived and/or worked in the area, I’d come here.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Fine, I suppose. The cocktails list is relatively diverse, if not exactly inventive. Odd choice of "calls" mentioned in the recipes, though. Then again, it’s a W— so there is that.
Oh damn, I forgot to look at the wine list (the space isn’t quite conducive to it). Then again, it’s a W— so I’m sure I’ve already seen the list in some other hotel.
Please rate the Dining Room:
I gather there must be a whole other dining room upstairs, because the "dining room" downstairs is rather small (the bar takes up most of the expanse).
But as for downstairs, I rather like it. Personally, I find the artwork doodles on the walls really appealing (very Mama Shelter. Or ya know, Trattoria Bagutta maybe).
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Sorry, Laurent! I was wondering if I’d detect your umm "absence," but uh… no, I don’t. Granted, the menu is hardly creative, but the execution is outstanding (particularly for a place that just opened). It’s probably not everybody’s cup of tea— if you only dine out once a month or less, it’s likely not the place for you. If, however, you eat out nearly every day, it’s perfect. Any place that has the balls to serve sandwiches for dinner is OK by me. (Then again, it’s a hotel… and a W no less, so maybe I’m giving the BOH too much credit for their courageousness). But seriously though, I don’t know how many nights I’ve said to myself, "I wish there were a nice quality place where I could go and just have a really good sandwich (and no, I don’t mean a fucking burger) and a solid first-rate drink. In a cool environment." I defy you to come up with a place. E-mail me if you think of one.
How was the staff?
Very good. Overall, enthusiastic, proficient, and conscientious. Everyone. Even the busboy.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Deviled Eggs with Tabasco : Scrumptious. Fresh. Flavorful. And not a bad price at all for three (overstuffed) halves.
Caesar Salad : Oh, be quiet. Caesar Salad is a great way to evaluate a BOH’s standards. You would be amazed (or not) how many places can fuck up a Caesar Salad, and badly. Especially hotels.
But, this one passes the test with flying colors. I mean, are those actually finely chopped white anchovies mixed into the dressing? I was starting to think they threw out that recipe in all the culinary schools.
Even the croutons are good.
Tuna Tartare : Yah, are you seeing the pattern in the menu here? Whatever, it’s delicious. Very fresh. A little overkill on the ice platter maybe, but I can live with it.
Strip Steak : Very good. Nice quality, tender, perfectly cooked. Tasty "cognac green-peppercorn sauce." Pretty fairly priced at $34.
Sauteed Creamy Spinach : Not so creamy actually. The only item that didn’t quite impress me. Decent flavor but too-mushy texture. I mean, come on— anybody who orders creamed spinach is obviously not afraid of cream, butter, or calories. Don’t get all scaredy-cat and wishy-washy with the stuff. Better to offer the options of "with cholesterol" or "without" instead.
What did you like?
It was pretty much all satisfactory.
What did you dislike?
It’s sooooo far away! What the hell is Albany Street?
What was your last impression?
Oooh, Paul Liebrandt! Third time now…
Would you come back?
If it weren’t so far away, I’d probably come once a week. No, seriously.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was a pleasure.
Bangin Red 2006 – Napa Valley, California
Cost: $11.99/bottle
Shopping at one of my favorite liquor stores, the manager recommended an $11.99 bottle of Bangin Red, made of a blend of 6 grape varietals: cabernet sauvignon, merlot, cabernet franc, malbec, petit verdot, plus a scant 2% of zinfandel— a blend I couldn’t help but find intriguing. And I’m glad I succumbed to the temptation.
An amazing nose of red berries and cherries greeted me immediately, and in another 20 minutes or so emerged a wonderful scent of rosemary— yes that sweet smelling nose. A slight hint of eucalyptus (but mostly rosemary) accompanied, with a twinge of cherries and berries. Very impressive. In the mouth, the 14.2 % alcohol seemed tamed (but it’s there), taking a back seat to the fruit and supple tannin textures. Very juicy, ripe, and quite nice, perfect for an easy relaxing night.
Rating: 90
Hartley Ostini – Generation Red 2006 Central Coast – Santa Maria, California
Cost: $20.99/bottle
An interesting red combination of cabernet franc, merlot, syrah, and refosco grape varietals. Santa Maria is best known for their pinot noir and chardonnay; this Hartley Ostini red blend pulls no punches. Big, with its 14% alcohol and plenty of complexities, including hickory smoke barbeque sauce, herbal tea that blends nicely into cherries and blueberries, and a subtle hint of pepperiness thanks to the syrah. It’s silky smooth on the palate with plenty of juicy glycerine and fruitiness at the middle and back of the mouth. Good finish (and fairly priced at just over a $20).
Rating: 89
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Cute. Oops, and… hot. Opening pains, no AC. But the jumbo industrial fans seem to be doing a decent job, considering. (Or ha ha, maybe I’m just grateful for the effort. Come on, Paris— get your shit together. These guys are European; now you really have no excuse.)
Please rate the Bar:
Decent. On the small side, but accommodating enough. Clean, organized, and the bartender is proficient if not particularly effusive.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Good. Usually, I’m a vodka/rocks kind of guy, but lately this interminable heatwave has me really appreciating outdoor cafés in the midday hours. What’s more refreshing than an aperitivo when the sun starts to subside? You’re throroughly wilted; now you need a pick me up.
Anyway, my point is: I’ve gained a fondness for the various Aperol/Cynar concoctions around town— and La Gazzetta’s ‘La Gazzetta’ is no exception. Made with rum and crushed wild cherries, it won me over at the first sip. The fresh watermelon margarita was good, too. Nice ingredients on the list overall, and the price range is suitable if not especially a bargain. The wines "from the barrel" however, are a bit more accessible.
Please rate the Dining Room:
Well done. Comfortable. Simple but creative. Definitely some ample experience in restaurant design at work here. All the little details are just right (save for the "temporary glitch" with the HVAC, I mean. Apparently, that will be "fixed by next week.")
Please rate the BOH:
Very good. Better than I’d expected actually. The menu is hardly imaginative— just a reflection of the very numerous Italian trattorias already dotting the area below 14th St. But, there’s obviously a very skilled and meticulous hand at work here. The freshness, deliciousness, and conscientiousness more than make up for the dearth of ingenuity. (Ha, sometimes ingenuity can be your worst enemy.) Lots and lots of potential here.
How was the staff?
Enthusiastic and amiable. And clearly of the more international variety.
It’s cute and kind of endearing; it just adds to the authenticity.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Prosciutto Cotto and Fontina Paninetti : Uh, it’s delicious, but did somebody get my order wrong? Because this tastes a little more like the "San Daniele and Mozzarella" selection. Oh well, at least it’s good, and I’m too lazy to send it back and wait for another. Also, I was expecting more of a flatbread— but only because the menu states the "paninetti" is served on "flatbread," contrary to say, the "panini" for example.
But again, whatever. If I weren’t enjoying it, I could be a bit annoyed. To their credit, I’m not at all.
Lentil Salad : Very good. But somehow, I must have completely missed the diminutive "cotechino" elaborative description underneath, because I was very (pleasantly) surprised to find a big sausage on top. Just a warning— to a meat eater it was bliss; to a vegan, maybe not so much.
But the execution was delectable, and in retrospect, a good offering for the price.
Chicken and Pepperoni Tramezzini : Good, but I don’t quite detect the pepperoni, which is what I found slightly intriguing. But still yummy and good for nibbling. (Excuse me, I’ll have another La Gazzetta, please…)
Polpette : Very good. Tasty, hearty, scrumptious. But I mean, really— who doesn’t love a good meatball?
I really wanted to try the "Eggs Benedict" next : But urgh, I’m stuffed. The description of "pizza bianca, cotto, and fonduta" sounds really alluring though, especially given the quality I’ve experienced thus far. I’m jumping ahead, but yeah, I’ll be back for that one.
What did you like?
It was pretty much all satisfactory.
What did you dislike?
I don’t normally care much for AC, but in 95+ degree weather…
What was your last impression?
Finally, this one might actually have a good shot at working here.
Would you come back?
Mmmm bennnediiict….
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, it was a pleasure.
Question from the inbox: "Would you classify this as an "F&F"?
Answer: Sometimes!
No OK, seriously though— that may not be an "F&F," but it sure is an LOL!
We present it here "entirely for purposes of education": Remember, if you’re a hungry, belligerent, idiotic dumbass, keep on walking and get your burrito someplace else, lest you get smacked upside your stupid head with an aluminum folding chair.
[Blockheads. Oh, the irony.]
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
[Continued from "My Week Off: Portofino / Camogli"]
So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.
And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About four or five.
What made you choose Paris for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez, continued on to Cap d’Antibes, Cap Ferrat, Monte Carlo, Portofino and Camogli. Rather than fly directly from New York to Paris to Nice in one trip, an overnight stay in Paris at the start seemed like a good idea.
And where did you stay?
At The Four Seasons George V. But only because I figured, "Why not?"
I’ve visited Paris numerous times and have already experienced many of the most popular choices— The Ritz Carlton, Plaza Athenee, Hotel Crillon, Hotel Costes, and Hotel Vendôme – Place Vendôme. And although Mama Shelter and Hotel Artus seemed like intriguing options, for a one night stay they would simply have been impractical for their distances from the "center" of Paris. So, that left Le Meurice and George V, and for the lack of substantial price disparity, George V won my decision due to their renowned reputation for superlative service.
How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Very good. Obviously, Four Seasons generally isn’t for everyone, as it does have a tendency toward pomposity or stuffiness. But the service certainly did live up to its stellar prestige. Even though we arrived a full five hours before official check-in time, they bent over backward to accommodate us and make us feel welcomed. Absolutely every person we encountered from the front desk to the dining room to room service was as warm, affable, and professional as could be. It’s not hard to see why for discerning travelers of a certain taste, George V ranks among the top in the world. (And believe me, the "five star" rating really has nothing to do with it— I’ve visited many a so-called "five star" before, only to be repulsed by glaring shortcomings.)
Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Ha ha ha ahaa oh my lord. This one has got to be up there as a traveling glitch of a lifetime.
Yah so— okay, I knew I was spending one night in Paris. Well, I wanted to pick a nice restaurant for dinner, duh.
So I tried to do a little research beforehand, because I wanted to dine "like a hip and savvy local." I thought I found several that seemed alluring (Yam’Tcha, Thomieux, Frenchie, e.g.), but then a friend of a friend who resides in Paris suggested something else.
Now, I never pick a restaurant based merely on what I’ve read. EVER. Come on, that would be like the antithesis of PX This. So, when this suggestion came via a resident of Paris, I assumed I was safely in the clear— of having to dine like some kind of oblivious, misinformed, rabid, incognizant, stupid lemming-like Foodie. Hah! As it turns out, the restaurant proposed to me was Le Chateaubriand— because it’s "hot." Ranked No.11 of "The World’s 50 Best Restaurants" no less!
Well, alls I can say is: ugh, christ. I don’t know whether it’s sad or comforting to know NYC doesn’t hold the monopoly on idiotarded "food press."
Also: I didn’t realize "hot" was meant literally, otherwise I surely would not have gone. It was about 100 degress in that restaurant (no exaggeration) and they have neither an air conditioner, ceiling fan, table top oscillator, or manual fucking palm frond. I can assure you its ranking amongst the "Best Restaurants in the World" is a brazen slap across the face to restaurateurs everywhere— particularly to those who are ignorant enough to spend hundreds of thousands (or millions) of dollars on ridiculous amenities and services that pander to the fruitless comfort of their patronage.
When we first arrived at 9PM (because I was told reservations are not accepted for "second seating, but you are allowed to wait") we were informed it’s "too early" and to "come back at 9:30" (despite our asking if we could order a drink and stand at the seatless bar instead). So we took a stroll around the block and returned at 9:25, only to find five full parties now ahead of us on line. (Yah, that’s right— there’s no host nor waiting list nor any door management of any kind). Were we not so far away from our hotel and not spent nearly €20.00 on cab fare to get here, we would have just left. But, we didn’t. Instead, we stayed and stood and sweated like animals. I’m not kidding. And it was of little consolation that all the English speaking tourists all around us (fresh from having plucked their noses off the internet) were sweating like hairy beasts too.
About an hour later, we finally sat down. (Evidently, the genius "first and second seating" system had the kitchen solidly slammed. Best restaurants! My ASS.) But whatever—
Fish, bean puree (that, actually, was pretty tasty— the best thing all night), fried fish, fish, fish, and pigeon. Yes, I said pigeon. Tough, cartilagey, gamey, flavorless, pedestrian, bloody, pigeon. (Oh, did I mention you don’t get to choose what you eat? They only make "one meal" a day. Mmhmmp, BEST restaurants! You stupid, overspending, budget-allocating, chef-indulging, micro-managing asshole, you!)
But that didn’t stop the customers at three tables surrounding me from snapping photographs of their food. Yes, that’s right, I’ve died and gone to Foodie-Blogger Hell.
On top of all that, the cheap rosé (from Spain?) by the glass gave me a splitting headache.
Okay, don’t get me wrong— was the food horrible? No, it wasn’t horrible. But it wasn’t extraordinary either— certainly nowhere near remotely deserving of a title that ranks it No.11 in the world. Top 50 Concepts ("highly trained chef wants to open inexpensive accessible restaurant blah blah blah") maybe, but Top 50 Restaurants? Oh, hells no.
By my (knowledgeable, insightful, sagacious) standards, it doesn’t even rate a recommendation to a local resident, much less one traveling from outside the country.
In short, yah— that was a disappointment.
Oh but— you wanna hear something kinda crazy?
On one of my nights in St Tropez, my hosts were invited to dine at a friend’s home, and so I got to tag along. Wow, it was one of the most gorgeous summer estates I’ve ever seen, and the owners were sweet, and kind, and gracious, and positively scintillating. Anyhoo—
as we’re sitting down to dinner, they inform us their live-in chef at their summer home was once a contestant on the very first season of Top Chef M6 (the French version of Bravo’s American Top Chef). Actually, what I could swear they said was "the winner" of Top Chef, but later when I googled Romain Tishcenko, I can’t exactly say for sure that was the guy I met that night, whose name I can’t remember, especially since I never got his surname. I mean, maybe it is (it’s possible), but I’m just not entirely sure.
In any case, he served a nice seasonal salad and penne with bottarga. It was pretty good!
Oh but my point is: apparently Romain Tischenko used to work guess where! Uh huh, Le Chateaubriand. I mean— is that kinda freaky or what. Imagine if I’d sat at the dinner table and recounted my Parisian escapade to all the Parisiennes? Ha ha aha hah ugh.
I did tell the chef however, that I know at least one American "top chef" very well, and then I invited him to visit NYC. Maybe he’ll come!
Any great standout experiences?
I did stop in for drinks at Bar228 at Le Meurice. That was nice, I suppose.
Oh but, be forewarned they have something of an exclusivity policy in case you ever decide to go. I mean— I was seated immediately (and so was the puppy right behind me), but then I overheard a party arriving five minutes later being told the tables "are all reserved." It’s probably a dress code and/or beautiful people thing.
The only other really great standout experience I want to mention was the flight itself!
I distinctly recall a couple years ago blogging about a trip to London or something, wherein I vehemently pronounced "British Airways sucks dick." And then I went on to rave my head off over Virgin Atlantic.
Well! I don’t know if British Airways heard me or what, but evidently they went and launched this "all business class" subsidiary airline called Open Skies. Open Skies kicks ass! They only have two sections, Business Bed and Business Seat— and both are extremely comfortable but cost far less than a regular business class seat on the other airlines I attempted to book. [Also, supposedly the food is by Michel Richard if you care about that sort of thing.] It was seriously awesome and made the flight just whizzzz by.
Whatever, I’m just saying.
How much did you blow all week?
Eh. Whatever it was, it was well worth it.
**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
• My Week Off: Monte Carlo
• My Week Off: Portofino / Camogli
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
[Continued from "My Week Off: Monte Carlo"]
So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.
And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
About four or five.
What made you choose Portofino for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez, continued on to Cap d’Antibes, Cap Ferrat, Monte Carlo, and then Portofino and Camogli…
And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.
How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera, Ligurian, and Amalfi Coasts as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.
Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Sigh. From here Black Sea travels onward to Corsica and Sardinia. Sadly, without me. Sob!
Any great standout experiences?
Uh, dude, I’m in Portofino! How much greater can it get?
But, okay— I must say the shopping is pretty terrific. Portofino has all the usual inveiglements (Dior, Vuitton, and Missoni… oh my!) but for some reason, everything is only about 2/3 the price of everywhere else in the world. And yah, that’s with taking the euro/dollar exchange rate into account, too. I’m not sure why exactly, but I surmise it may have something to do with a distinct dearth of wealthy shoppers frequenting Portofino (it’s not exactly 5th Ave or Place Vendôme, you see).
The other wonderful fortuitous thing was there just happened to be a live public concert taking place right on the port this evening. Pagliacci, no less! Yes, imagine sitting outdoors having dinner on the banks of Portofino being serenaded by the beautiful strains of the opera on this lovely balmy evening as the stars twinkle in the sky and the coastal breeze caresses your face. Waiter, un altro strega, per favore.
Speaking of dinner, it was at The Chuflay at Splendido Mare (but only because La Terrazza was already fully booked). And I must say it was fantastic. Undoubtedly the best meal all week, and on par with some of the most outstanding in my lifetime. The pasta service was especially impressive— Italian fine dining with a flair of French exhibition. Even the wine, Vie de Romans (Chardonnay from Friuli), turned out to be a great discovery for me at a very reasonable asking price. All in all, a truly flawless evening.
[For all the yachters out there however--- be forewarned. The Marina di Portofino, as amiable and welcoming to the vessels as they are, leave much to be desired in terms of basic services (particularly for the docking costs). Like water and electricity for example. I'm just saying.]
The following day was a short cruise to Camogli La Spiaggia, which had some of the most gorgeous swimming waters I’ve ever encountered.
How much did you blow all week?
Pssh. At this point, who cares?
**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
• My Week Off: Monte Carlo
• My Week Off: Paris
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
[Continued from "My Week Off: Cap d'Antibes/Cap Ferrat"]
So, what do you do in the industry?
I’m a businessman [and entrepreneur] with substantial financial interests in the F&B Industry.
And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
I try as best I can to get away, even if briefly, every eight to ten weeks. It doesn’t always work out that way.
What made you choose Monte Carlo for this vacation?
Actually, I was invited. I’ve been to Monaco before, so it probably wouldn’t have been my choice for this particular getaway. It ended up working out advantageously though, because I was able to meet with a potential business associate I’d previously met in NYC, who happens to have his primary residence in Monte Carlo.
And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.
How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Everything was as perfect as it could possibly be. ["The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels 'like an Ian Schrager hotel,' which is precisely the way I've heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I've witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes..."]
Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
I probably should have made my business meeting shorter or planned it differently? But, that’s a whole other story…
Any great standout experiences?
Sadly, not really.
The overall experience of traveling aboard Black Sea is incredibly gratifying. Unfortunately, however, I can’t say this particular visit to Monte Carlo was equally remarkable. Aside from my meeting being ill-timed and ill-conceived, the dining experience for our one evening in Monte Carlo was a bit disappointing as well.
I’m not exactly sure where the recommendation originated, but it was initially suggested we dine at La Trattoria— a new Italian restaurant by Alain Ducasse, located at Le Sporting Monte-Carlo. As you might imagine, the concept of this alone, as an experienced NYC-based restaurateur, is somewhat amusing at best. Too bad we couldn’t get a reservation.
So, the next option on the list was Fuji, a "pop-up" version of its regular venue that takes up residence at Le Sporting Monte-Carlo during the summer months. Apparently, the staff is flown in from Japan right before the season starts, which would explain why they seem to be much more proficient at foreign English than Monaco’s native French. It likely also sheds light on its conspicuous disorganization. And even perhaps its particularly exorbitant prices, which woefully, are not reflected in either the quality of the food, service, or ambience.
[Rather ironically, you must literally traverse the entire length of La Trattoria's interior in order to reach the entrance to Fuji.]
Afterward, a short stop at Hotel de Paris for a digestif did not fare any better. We ended up there, because the numerous people of varying tastes within our party could not agree on our next locale. It was "too early" for Jimmy’z, and hot spot Sass Café was deemed "too political" for its conduciveness to encountering disagreeable acquaintances and/or other social banes. Ultimately, Hotel de Paris was chosen for its proximity to the casino.
And what a mistake that was. I can’t speak for everyone, but sipping espresso in Times Square, for example, is not my idea of fun. (Clearly, the Russians don’t agree with me.)
How much did you blow all week?
This was in fact only one night within the week. Luckily, I didn’t spend that much in total, but regrettably, this night’s experience still could not vindicate the cost.
**See also (earlier):
• My Week Off: St. Tropez
• My Week Off: Cap d’Antibes / Cap Ferrat
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
[ Continued from "My Week Off : St. Tropez..." ]
So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.
And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Okay, as a certain somebody pointed out to me yesterday, I guess it’s really more like four or five.
What made you choose Cap d’Antibes and Cap Ferrat for this vacation?
As I explained before, I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
My journey with them started in St Tropez; Cap d’Antibes and Cap Ferrat were simply two more stops along the voyage…
And where did you stay?
Still aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.
How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.
And its crew is unbelievably gracious, diligent, and hospitable. (Not bad to look at, either. Haaa.)
Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Aside from the trip being far too short? No.
Oh, there’s the food thing— there’s way too much of it. Breakfast, a meal I never eat, is the most problematic. Where I’d much prefer simply three consecutive cups of coffee, there is instead a daily sumptuous buffet of European delectables. And in the company of generous Turkish hosts, to decline is practically an insult. Thank goodness for the available selection of fresh fruits and juices, or I likely would have gained ten pounds.
Any great standout experiences?
I’m getting to be so much better a swimmer! No, really.
See, evidently, boating/yachting is so ingrained in Turkish (and Greek) cultures that everybody swims like dolphins in the sea practically from the day they’re born, I am not even kidding. The first time I traveled aboard the Black Sea, I was a vastly pitiful swimmer in comparison— it was really embarrassing. I mean, even though my form is fine, I have very little stamina in the water. Therefore, this time the mere idea of swimming smack out there in the middle of the Mediterranean again at plunging depths of god-knows-what was still a downright harrowing experience to me. I am not at all exaggerating when I say my hosts (and their friends) dive right into water at nearly every port and swim for miles on end with nary a care in the world. So, you either have to keep up at some semblance of competence, or forever be labeled the histrionic, unworldly city-dweller who would drown in a puddle of saliva.
Well, the truly amazing thing about the Mediterranean is it resembles our Atlantic and Pacific Oceans not a wee bit. It’s fantastically placid and, in some places, as warm as your bath. You’d have to be an histrionic, unworldy city-dweller who would drown in a puddle of saliva to not appreciate and take advantage of its splendor.
Believe it or not, two summers ago I swam from the shores of the island of Symi to the Black Sea, at a distance approximately equal to 3/4 the way across the Hudson River to New Jersey (even though I was pretty much kinda scared to death). Later, in retrospect, I realized it was an utterly stupid thing for me to attempt at my skill level and vowed never to do it again.
So okay, I didn’t accomplish that same feat during this expedition, but I do dare say I came pretty close!
Anyway, my point is: Wow, Cap Ferrat was a really great place to swim— overall of all the places I’ve bobbed in the Mediterranean by now, I’d probably rank it tied for second or third.
(Also: I think Brigitte Bardot lives here and Bill Gates has a home here too or something.)
As for Cap d’Antibes— apparently, from what I surmise, it’s a huge hit with travelers who love the South of France, but "detest St Tropez" (that’s a direct quote). Sooo, it’s kinda like people who hate the Meatpacking District but love the West Village. I guess.
Unfortunately, it was a short visit so I only tried one restaurant. It was called L’Oursin and came highly recommended to us by a friend of my hosts. It a had a great outdoor dining area in the plaza (next to the carousel) as well as a large indoor restaurant. Primarily seafood— grilled fish and shellfish, with meat and pasta dishes available too. Personally, my moules avec frites were delicious and fresh, but the serving size was gigantic— which was kinda weird to me, because I thought the French weren’t into that sort of thing. Also, the escalope avec pasta bolognese was pretty good too, but again, enough to feed at least two people. Don’t even get me started on the salade de fruits de mer. (The one thing I can’t quite comprehend though, is why lobster is so expensive everywhere you go with the Mediterranean right outside the doorstep.)
How much did you blow all week?
Wait, we’re still not quite done yet!
But to answer the question: believe me, still not anywhere remotely as much as its worth.
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Week Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider"
So, what do you do in the industry?
I used to do lots of things. Now I do other things.
And you have how many weeks off a year, generally?
Maybe around two or three.
What made you choose St. Tropez for this vacation?
I didn’t exactly choose it; I was just lucky. A couple of years ago, I was invited to sail the Turkish Riviera to Greece aboard the Black Sea, a 110′ sailing yacht owned by an incredibly lovely family I was fortunate enough to have been able to do some very miniscule favors for, once or twice. Evidently, I was such “a good guest,” they invited me back this year to cruise the Cote d’Azur with them all the way to the Ligurian Coast. Obviously, I would have been a total idiot to refuse. It was one of the most amazing trips of my lifetime (and despite the danger of sounding crass, I must say I’ve been blessed to have experienced some pretty fantastic journeys all right).
And where did you stay?
Aboard the Black Sea. It has four separate guest chambers (all with full bathrooms), as well as a Master Chamber and sleeping quarters for a crew of five.
How was the ambience/service/amenities etc?
Magnificent, impeccable, luxurious. The Black Sea was entirely custom-built according to the stringent specifications of its owner. It looks and feels "like an Ian Schrager hotel," which is precisely the way I’ve heard at least several visitors aboard describing it. From what I’ve witnessed and gathered, the Black Sea is famous along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and apparently, Croatia. It would be far from a stretch of the imagination to assert that surely it has now made its mark on the French Riviera as well. It turns heads (and camera lenses) absolutely everywhere it goes.
Any major glitches and/or disappointments?
Besides the trip being entirely too short? No.
Oh, there’s the food thing— there’s way too much of it. Breakfast, a meal I never eat, is the most problematic. Where I’d much prefer simply three consecutive cups of coffee, there is instead a daily sumptuous buffet of European delectables. And in the company of generous Turkish hosts, to decline is practically an insult. Thank goodness for the available selection of fresh fruits and juices, or I likely would have gained ten pounds.
Any great standout experiences?
Oh, where do I even begin. Aside from the accommodation of traveling the entire time in the most supreme and blissful way imaginable? Well— there were the restaurants.
Of course St Tropez has its renowned and illustrious "hotspots"— Nioulargo, Club 55, and Nikki Beach. They’re all pretty much exactly as you’d expect. I’m sure almost anything I would describe would merely sound redundant. So, I’ll just skip over the incontrovertible and recount the pointless trivialities.
Nioulargo is hot, and I don’t just mean its popularity. It’s literally hot— and very crowded. The neat thing is they spray a fine mist of cold water throughout the atmosphere intermittently.
From what I can infer, Nioulargo is the jumpoff either one step above Club Cinquante Cinq or one step below, depending on how played-out you think Cinquante Cinq is. In any case, it’s tres chic, my dear. A visit to St Tropez without a stop a Nioulargo essentially makes you a cretin.
Cinquante Cinq is, of course, St Tropez’s most famous destination. You must go, dahling. (By boat, I mean. Because the street traffic, even in a requisite Bentley or Lamborghini, is unbearable.)
Oh, look— there’s Hugh Grant (no, really). Ah look, there’s Mischa Barton. And see that swanky (albeit chartered) motor yacht over yonder in the Mediterranean? That’s where Andrea Bocelli is staying. If you’re charmed enough to be moored closeby, you can hear him practicing his scales in the morning (no, seriously).
And what would a visit to St Tropez be without a drink at Nikki Beach? You may as well drop by; it will negate and/or counterbalance your humiliation at ever having patronized the one here in New York.
Aside from all that, one day we had lunch at La Plage de Salins. It’s a short cruise away from St Tropez’s prominent Plage Pampelonne. Its primary attraction, naturally, is its location directly on the beach "where your feet touch the sea." It’s a bit more tranquil than the aforementioned "hotspots," so scoring a great table is less daunting of a feat.
The food is decent; it may not be culinarily extraordinary, but that’s not why you’re here anyway. They have some familiar staples— caesar salad, cheeseburger, moules frites… but also some wonderful grilled fresh fish. Don’t forget to order a bottle of rosé! To drink anything else in this region would make you decidedly un-Tropézienne, even perhaps nothing short of "un animal."
Another splendid day was late lunch at Le Club de Cavaliere, also a short way from Pampelonne at Le Lavandou. What a gorgeous place.
First and foremost, the service is remarkably stellar. Immediately upon dropping anchor at Le Lavandou, you will find a nice multilingual young man approaching in an immaculate white dinghy to invite you for lunch at Le Cavaliere— and of course, more than willing to personally escort you ashore avec plaisir.
But here’s a little secret: the full lunch menu (offered only until 2:00 PM, unless you have reserved otherwise) is actually rather rich and conceivably too lavish for some tastes, especially in 85+ degree weather on a balmy sunny day. Contrastingly, the midday "snack" menu is effortless and accessible and is really quite ample despite the waiters’ profound apologies. Lots of international favorites here— club sandwich, croque monsieur, tuna niçoise, omelette du jour, etc etc… more than enough to make you a very happy camper. And please don’t forget the tarte-tropézienne (their’s is made with a dash of Cointreau). The quality and execution of everything is superbe.
The other fun thing was shopping at the bi-weekly St Tropez Bazaar. If you can stand the crushing crowds, that is. Everything you can possibly imagine is available at the bazaar. But the most enthralling things to me were the poultry/paella stand and the pizza truck. The pizza truck has a full wood-burning oven inside! Yes, in the truck.
How much did you blow all week?
All week? This is just the first few days— we still got a little ways to go!
But to answer the question: believe me, not anywhere remotely as much as its worth.
It’s July! You know what that means: We’re outta here!
We are taking a week off for a much needed deserved wanted respite.
We shall return Monday, July 19, 2010.
Please feel free to utilize this down time to catch up on your reading!
Enjoy!
and Ciao!
For want of a better title to depict today’s issue, I’ve decided to start a new PX This feature, wherein we address all the overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel we’re totally sick of.
Why, you ask? As in— if we’re sick of it, why are even discussing it? Well, that’s a very good point. However, I’ve spent some time lately familiarizing myself with the search engine keywords guiding our fair visitors (in an effort to be a more informative "blah-grrr"), and I’ve deduced there are indeed a whole lot of people out there in need of our unique and keenly knowledgeable insight, particularly to assist in weeding through all that misleading overemphasized, overembellished, over-hyped drivel out there.
Yes, it’s a rough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
You’re welcome!
Are We Sick of Josh Ozersky Yet?
The answer is naturally: Yes, of course we are. We’re sick to death of him.
But, we still couldn’t help but be eye-rollingly amused by tools-of-a-feather, circle-jerk-brethren, ethics-lacking "journalist" Joshua David Stein‘s hare-brained defense of his pal, Josh Ozersky— titled (or rather, mis-titled), "Why People are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky."
In it, Stein unleashes a staggering god-knows-how-many words in some kind of spurious attempt to elucidate the reader with an answer to his superfluous question. And yet somehow still fails to surmise the obvious:
People Are Really Pissed at Josh Ozersky Because He is a Glaringly Clueless, Over-Bloated, Publicist-Indentured, Sycophantic, Unethical, Freeloading Tool.
Luckily! — The comments section of said article provide ample (hilarious) enlightenment.
To wit:
"Pretty good but a major reason (probably THE major reason) for people dogpiling on Ozersly is that he just isn’t that great at what he does (his fact-checking is horrific, which suggests that his depth of knowledge of his subject matter is shallow), but he’s a cocky bastard. He’s also an utterly shameless self-promoter. And he goes way beyond a free meal or a free bottle of booze here and there. The guy has elevated, or dropped pay-for-press to a new level. The La Frieda and Hanson stuff is especially egregious. He makes himself extremely easy to hate and all of this is his own fault."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605684
"Most internet food writing (blogging, whatever) is just the regurgitation of press releases. That’s why they’re always talking about the same things at the same time and why so many of them publish the same error-riddled stories. It’s basically block-save "writing" (don’t call it journalism, because it isn’t) by callow people who know very lttle about their subject. The worst cases, like Ozersky, actually believe that they are expert in their field. And they’re easily bought off, usually for cheap. Ozersky just upped the ante in the low-rent, freeloading game with this $50,000 or so boondoggle. He’s the shit king of turd mountain now."
http://eater.com/archives/2010/07/02/why-people-are-really-pissed-at-josh-ozersky.php#comment-605786
Yeah, of the 32 or so comments attached (not to mention the pretentious, verbose article) that essentially pretty much sums up the solution to the conundrum right there. And we didn’t even have to write it! (Neither, apparently, should have Stein.)
We’re just sayin’ elaboratin’.
**********************************************************
** See also (earlier):
• Grubstreet (& Gridskipper): Ignorant (& Stupid)
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is Unethical
• Gawker Loses “Ignorasshole”
• NEWSFLASH: Josh Ozersky is a Dweeb
• Abbe Diaz vs Gawker
*** For more on this subject, read PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This – Coming Soon in the Autmn of 2010 ***
Welcome to: Where I Spent My Day Off —by a NYC Restaurant "Insider" – BY SPECIAL REQUEST
From the inbox: "Hey… planning an upcoming trip that includes two days in NYC. Don’t want to end up at the tourist spots, I wanna eat like a hip/savvy local! What do you suggest, please? Like, where would you go if you only had one day? And how hard is it to get reservations or get in? … You’re like the Adrian Moore of NYC, [where] I got some great tips on dining when I first moved to Paris… Thanks! – D.B.
So, what do you do in the industry?
it’s me, bitches! or rather — for our Parisian friends— c’est moi, salopes!
And you have how many days off a week, generally?
let’s say 2
What did would you do for breakfast yesterday?
i don’t generally do breakfast, but if i did (or if i were entertaining, e.g.), i’d likely go to SantAmbroeus in the west village. boom— it’s only breakfast and already you’re a “hip and savvy” local. try not to stare at liv-tyler.
breakfast is a bit more sedate than lunch or dinner, so just walk right on in.
Lunch?
if it’s a beautiful sunny day, BarPitti.
after 2pm is best, but do plan on the possibility of a short wait unless you arrive after 4pm. they don’t take reservations, and they don’t take credit cards either.
And afterward?
as you’re already in that vicinity, perhaps some shopping in SoHo or the WestVillage?
and since you’re on vacation, after that, you’ll of course need a nice apértif. personally, when in SoHo, i like LaEsquina or CafeSelect. if i’m in the WestVillage, it’s CentroVinoteca or GustoRistorante e BarAmericano.
either/all are nice and relaxing in the hours from 4pm to 7pm, no reservation/waiting required.
Dinner?
this is where it gets a little tricky. firstly, because you asked where i would go if i only had one night (or had guests from out of town), and secondly because the answer to the question "is it hard to get in?" would likely be a yes oui. but here goes anyway:
at the top of my list would be LaEsquina.
unfortunately, it can be difficult to get a reservation even for a local. a good alternative since you’re coming in the summertime is to sit outdoors, provided you don’t mind dining early (around 7pm). tables outside are first come first served, but do not offer the full cellar dining room menu. however, the "scene and/or people watching" (one of LaEsquina’s primary attractions) is stellar from this vantage point.
also at the top of the list is MinettaTavern, mostly because whenever friends of mine visit from across the country or overseas, dinner at MinettaTavern is usually a principal request. i believe reservations at this juncture are still a bit difficult, so a decent strategy is to dine at the bar. i normally suggest people go early (around 6pm), check with the maitre d’ for any cancellations or sudden availabilities, but be prepared to have full dinner at the bar if necessary. of course, late dinner (around 11pm) is always an option too, but it’s not the choice i would make.
[i wanted to re-iterate however, these are selections i would make under the provision of one night in NYC as a "hip/savvy local." if you're one of those die hard foodie types, send your hate mail elsewhere, i'm not even remotely interested. then go get yourself a Michelin guide or something.]
And afterward?
sigh. if i had to? the BoomBoom. but yes it’s true, you’re not getting in. but since you must go home and tell everyone you’ve been there— go early, in the hours from 4pm to 9pm.
please do not ask me where you can "go dancing" after 10pm without a hassle at the door, because any pragmatic suggestion i would make would only serve to publicly embarrass myself. [okay here's a tip: you can go absolutely anywhere else you please if you're willing to "buy a bottle" and/or bribe the doorperson.]
How much did would you [have to] blow today?
with the exception of "BoomBoom Room," none of my recommendations are exorbitantly expensive. but, since it’s vacation, and i assume you mean to have a nice time— i would approximate the total cost for a day out like this (for two people) at about $550.00
i hope you have a nice visit!
*** See our latest UPDATE on La Esquina ***
Landmark Chardonnay 2006 – Napa Valley, California
Cost: $22/bottle
Nice light-gold color, clear and crisp, notes of lemon, honey, oak, and oatmeal. Full-bodied, smooth and rich on the palate. Gobs of fruit with forgiving acidity. Fills the mouth so much, it can be enjoyed on its own just sipping away at happy hour. Personally, I enjoyed it with a summery seared tuna, and it was just the right ticket.
Rating: 92
PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW
Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !
What was your first impression?
Huh. This is… different.
Please rate the Bar:
The bar itself? Is a little odd. But maybe only because when you’re sitting at the "bar" that just looks like the bar and is located across the bar, but really is actually a dining counter, you can get a bit confused. So basically, from where I was sitting, which I thought was the bar, which was not actually the bar, the actual bar looked pretty good. I guess.
Except the seats are very poorly built and a wee nonsensical.
Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Well, apparently the fancy shmancy cocktails already got some hoopla in some sort of newspaper, so I was already warned about their fancy-shmanciness. So, I suppose I wasn’t disappointed!
Pretty creative presentation all right, and the recipes are somehwat intriguing if you’re the type that’s into that sort of thing. Me— I’m a vodka/rocks kinda guy— so the genuine rock in place of my "rocks" was uh… amusing at best. (Vermouth "soaked" rock, huh? Squeeze some blood out of that thing, then maybe I’ll be impressed.)
Otherwise, A for effort! Or maybe A-, because all that rigmarole is expensive (app. $15 per drink).
Please rate the Dining Room:
Is it finished?
No really, I’m really truly not quite sure whether all that exposed plywood on the banquettes is intentional or not. However, considering the poor design of the bar/"bar" stools, I wouldn’t be surprised.
So, yeah— it’s… different. Not exactly the design choices I would make personally, but hey. I didn’t have to pay for it— and diversity is what makes the world go round! Right?
Please rate the BOH:
I admit I don’t know anything at all about the chef; I didn’t bother to do any research before or after my dining experience. But if I had to guess, I would say it’s probably a true-blood Italian trained in French culinary techniques. Am I right? Did I win?
There’s a lot to appreciate about the menu, and certainly the artful presentation, but the execution could maybe use just a little more time and/or work. The potential is definitely there; it’s the conception that might need a tad more revisiting. If I said anymore than that, I’d need a consultation fee.
How was the staff?
Good. Friendly, adept, and conscientious. Also, very European.
What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Baby Artichoke Croquettes : Very good. Easily my favorite of all the dishes I tried. Tasty, aromatic, rich in flavor but delicate. (But now in retrospect, I’m not sure whether it was good or bad to start, rather than end, on a high note.)
Steamed Octopus and Potato : Ah, a very Italian dish, but at this point I’m really starting to see the French coming out. Also very good, tender succulent octopus (especially for such a big old creature). The little bit of pesto turns out to be a nice touch. Eat it fast, though— once it cools down, not so appealing.
Pork Belly with Head On Shrimp and Chickpea Puree : Sounds weird, right? And yeah, it kind of is. The shrimp is tender but slight too salty (and for a salt lover like me, that’s saying a lot). But the pork belly is eh. Is it boiled? The flavor isn’t awful, but the texture is… not so good. Give me a great caramelized pork belly, and I’ll eat it ’til the pig screams for mercy. But not in this bizarre cube-like rubbery style.
Porcini, Arugula and Avocado Salad :Cold mushrooms? Bleeah. And the cauliflower, too— over-refrigerated. ‘Shame.
Tuna tartare : OK. Decent. Pretty to look at.
What did you like?
Those artichoke croquettes were slammin’.
What did you dislike?
The ambience is not for me.
What was your last impression?
People and their ideas…
Would you come back?
I’ll let you guess.
Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Thanks, and best of luck.
Finally! Yay!
The Amazon page is currently under construction (and God only knows how long that’s going to take to complete), but PX This – The Revised Edition is finally available for sale in the medium of dead trees. Hooray!
Now, before you go criticizing the insanely exorbitant price tag of $29.99, please bear in mind:
a) Neither Abbe Diaz, Pee Ex This Dot Com, nor any of its subsidiaries/affiliates have any control over said price tag. It was calculated by the publisher and printer, based entirely on page count.
b) The price is a reflection of the print version’s "short run" process. This means, unlike in "traditional" publishing, PX This is printed, distributed, and sold in small batches, contrary to the (previously) conventional practice of mass printing books in the thousands, tens-of-thousands, or hundreds-of-thousands of units and dispersing them widely, nationally or internationally, just so said units can eventually end up on bookstores’ forlorn discount tables at 90% off the "suggested retail price."
In other words, yes, you are paying out the wazoo for the print version of PX This – The Revised Edition so you can save trees— and thus subsequently, the world.
The trees and the world thank you. And likewise, so do we.
c) In an effort to offset this insanely exorbitant price tag, PX This – The Revised Edition is currently being offered for FREE in a digitized e-book Portable Document Format. The PDF is compatible with iPad (with GoodReader), Kindle2+, any Mac/PC, or netbook.
What’s the catch, you ask? No catch. Just iterating the deducible obvious: PX This is not in it for the benjamins, homeslice. We’re fucking artists, goddammit!
d) Eventually, PX This – The Revised Edition (and PX This Too – The Sequel to PX This) will be available via Amazon’s Kindle Store and Apple’s iBookstore as well— as soon as either or both realize it is an author’s inherent right to publish an e-book in the font style of his/her choice.
Sure, go ahead and argue if you want, you indignant fascist font anal control freak— but would daVinci allow a museum to exhibit the Mona Lisa with purple hair?! We think NOT. (Also, e.e.cummings is sooo rolling over in his grave right now over this shit, bitches. Shame on you! For shame, for shame.)
In any case, we anticipate the price of those e-versions will be $8.00 — a reflection of the current cost of e-conversion, the gray hairs and wrinkles accrued from fighting the good fight, and the percentage share for Apple/Amazon who, ya know, could both really use the money, evidently.
The PDF version will remain free of charge— yeah, not so jazzed about the funky "page-turning" and the font choices now, are ya?
** PX This is also proud to present, by popular demand, The Ministry of Speed © by Abbe Diaz (as referenced in PX This) for your curiosity and/or reading pleasure. **
Thank you for your kind encouragement and continuing support.
= "personne extraordinaire"