F&F: The Lion

June 15th, 2010 by Vanilla Ice

PX This presents THE F&F REVIEW

Hey, sorry we couldn’t make it to "Friends&Family," we were out of town/ had to work/ not invited. We’re really glad we finally managed to come by, though— it’s so nice to see you!
What’s that? You would still like us to take the time to fill out the F&F survey, because you’d love to take advantage of all our vast experience, knowledge, insight, and expertise as long as we’re already here? Because you invited 75 people to F&F, and afterward all you got was 41 "Congrats[es]!" 22 "Awesome[s]!" 3 "Ciao[s]!" and 9 "Best of luck[s]!" ?
Of course, we’d be honored. Oh ha, yesss, we’ll be honest— brutally honest even, ha ha! After all, that’s what friends & family are for!
No no please, don’t send anything more, we’re stuffed, we can’t breathe, you’ll have to roll us out of here, ha ha ha… !


The Lion

What was your first impression?
Oh gee, this is unique. (That’s sarcasm.)

Please rate the Bar:
It’s… typical. (See: The Waverly Inn, Monkey Bar, Minetta Tavern, Hotel Griffou, Abe & Arthur’s, East Side Social Club, Vintry Wine & Whiskey, Rabbit in the Moon…)

Please rate the drinks/ cocktails/ wine:
Oh come on, really? See above.

Please rate the Dining Room:
Smaller than you imagine. Remember how expansive was Village’s dining room? Well, now it seems as though a lot of that is now the open kitchen— which sort of makes you wonder where the kitchen was before. The high ceiling makes it seem much more capacious than the room actually accommodates, and yet, for some reason, less spacious than its prior incarnation. (Dude, maybe it’s like totally an optical illusion!)
Also: see above.

Please rate the BOH:
Ha ha ha ha. See: the first half of above.
I mean seriously though, what is it you expect from this review anyway? An epiphany? You know you’re not going for the food.
Oh wait, I got something BOH for ya. Remember back when someone kept sending e-mails to us, claiming that chef John deLucie was actually not "on leave" from The Waverly Inn as was reported but was, in essence, "fired"? And then deLucie responded via text message refuting those claims? Well, it turns out— apparently, he lied. (So, to whomever was so generously trying to apprise us of the paradox all along: Our bad!)

How was the staff?
Fine. Especially considering it’s pretty much everyone you already know. Which, ya know, can be a good thing. Or sometimes… not. LOL!

What did you eat?/ How was the food?
Tuna Tartare, Beet Salad, Pappardelle, Burger / Oh, like you care.
I mean seriously though, what is it you expect from this review anyway? An epiphany? You know you’re not going for the food. Which is probably a good thing, because you’ve had all this stuff already. Yeh, the biscuits too.


What did you like?
It’s conveniently located?

What did you dislike?
The redundancy.

What was your last impression?
"Been there. Done that." That proves I’m fierce, right?

Would you come back?
Hmm, maybe I’ll just wait for the next place just like this to open. It’ll be what— 4 to 6 months, tops?


Thank you, and hope to see you soon!
Ha ha ha, I’m sure you will! At the next place. Anna Wintour’s maybe.



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3 Responses to “F&F: The Lion”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Delucie, Abrams and Zincenko are the Vortex of Douche

  2. Dishwasher Says:

    Sounds about right. ;)


  3. Dishwasher Says:

    Twice. ;)


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