The Boom Boom Room

October 8th, 2009 by abbe diaz


The Boom Boom Room
(or whatever it’s called) at The Standard Hotel

yah so by now you’ve heard so much about the BoomBoom, you probably feel like you’ve already been there, yes?
slow down, skippy. it’s worth a real live flesh and blood visit anyways. that shit is hott.

sigh. if you can get in.

but fear not, bitches. it’s actually not as hard as everybody makes it out to be. not for YOU, anyways. cuz gawd knows you wouldn’t even be here reading this right now if you weren’t fabulous, am i right?


don’t get me wrong, it CAN be a bit of a chore if you don’t have the skinny, of course. so here’s the 411 google.

it aint open at 4PM, 6PM, or even 8PM. anymore. (for now.)
apparently it opens at 9PM. you’re welcome.
cuz fer sure you were not about to get that information by asking anybody working inside the hotel or the restaurants. holy oh my shit— they are so fucking cryptic about it (ugh bloggers ruin everything!), it’s like fucking fort knox up in that mutherfukker. nobody knows what the hells is going on. or at least they don’t want to tell you what the hells is going on. even the really nice doorman who goes and asks three different peoples on your behalf what the hells is going on will only come back to tell you he doesn’t know whether or not anybody knows what the hells is going on.

and when somebody finally offers up the morsel of information "if the red light is on, it’s open"— that’s a lie.

and to top it all off, no joke— the DOZEN OR SO peoples employed at theStandard you’re very well acquainted with personally— all have the fucking night off.


but it’s okay it’s all good.

cuz when you eventually figure out IT OPENS AT 9PM, you will subsequently suddenly find people at the side entrance who are more than happy to accommodate you, and your ass will breeze right through like it was never a damned problem in the first place.

ha ha ahaa umm if you "belong" that is?
siiiigh what can i tell you. if you are even bothering to wonder right now whether or not you "belong" then maybe save yourself the hassle and stay yer ass at home.

oh but here’s a little bit of a tip for you (even if you do "belong"):

see, supposedly even agyness-deyn was turned away last week. now—
if you’ve ever seen agyness-deyn runnin round town as is her wont, then you know homegirl dresses like a typical brooklyn broke assed homeless hipster street urchin.
well, sorry bitches. supermodel or no supermodel, BoomBoomRoom clearly aint feelin your st.mark’s place fedora. they don’t think your canvas converse are cute OR ironic.

all you have to do is take one look at the room to know this. every man who works there is wearing a tie. yah even kamil-parchomienko— and i would bet cash money he never even OWNED a necktie before the BoomBoomRoom opened.
so ya know. if you really wanna go, work it out.

oh and by the way. contrary to popular belief, "knowing" kamil-parchomienko aint gonna help you get in AT ALL. cuz you can’t get that boy on the horn for anything, i don’t care how many times he’s called you "baybee."
once you get inside though, oh! it’s so so nice to see him.


and everybody else too. seriously, that crowd is fierce.


anyhoo. i left right when it started to get really boisterous around 11:30PM, but i still got to see owen-wilson sitting at the bar. (okay fine— HE can dress like shit if he wants to. but he’s owen-wilson and you’re not.)


**check the latest UPDATE on “the BoomBoom.”**



Tags: , , , , ,

4 Responses to “The Boom Boom Room”

  1. Ferret Chicken Says:

    Lokks great!! How’s the rest’nt downstairs???? I might go work there!!

  2. In the know Says:

    @Ferret Chicken
    It depends on what you’ll be doing. They are all making decent bank, but the mgmt is stressed out from the long hours. Breakfast is a killer. But it’s busy all the time, even brunch is 650 covers, but that includes breakfast. It was overstaffed on the floor at first but that’s getting better, so the $$ is getting better. Bar is doing well all the time. No psychos on staff like Lois thank god. The bad thing is the uniforms are BUTT.

  3. Lame Says:

    11:30PM??? Whatever, Grandma.

  4. Please Says:

    Is it me or did the crowd at Standard Grill take a huge nosedive? I was there last Wed night and it looked like a typical weekend MPD crowd!! Ugh….

Leave a Reply

[in an effort to avoid "spam," comments with URLs are subject to pre-approval]

Filed Under: EAT THIS